My 4 Year Old Son and Morning Obstacles

Updated on February 09, 2011
J.P. asks from Lisle, IL
10 answers

HI Moms,

I get my son in the morning kind of early 6:15 that gives him about 25 min until we need to leave, I have to work and he goes to childcare to catch the bus for pre-school. The problem is when he gets up he is defiant and fighting me about every lthing. I usually put the t.v on to get him going lately, it has been an issue about what he wants on. I have to stand there and go through all the shows he likes.....I don't have the time....then that leads into what he eats for breakfast. I give him french toast sticks....lately he doesn't want those eitherr!!!! I am constantly hurdling obstacles with him in the morning which causes alot of tension before the day has actually started!!! Does anybody have any good advice on how i can make the morning go smoother??? I have to get in the car and feel so stressed before i go to my paying job!! Also, does anybody have any ideas about What is a good fast breakfast....he doesn't like cereal or milk.

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M.S.

answers from Lincoln on

He feels rushed and he's annoyed by it. 25 minutes isn't a lot of time. Can you imagine waking up and having only 25 minutes to adjust? I would be a little cranky if I had to do that. Can you wake him up earlier so you don't get as exasperated? If you are at ease, then he will be at ease. Oh and will he eat waffles? My two year old eats them while walking around in the morning.

Hang in there!!!

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G.T.

answers from Modesto on

25 minutes really doesnt seem like enough time for him to get fully awake and ready for his day, so I can see how he's gettin all fussy about it. There is nothing worse than having to wake up before your time--it makes me in a bad mood too. It sounds like you need to put him to bed earlier and wake him up a little earlier so he has more time to get his blood circulating and decide he's even hungry for breakfast.
If you set your blender on the table and let him put some banana, and strawberries, and a splash of vanilla almond milk and a couple of ice cubes into it and push the button to whirl it all up, I bet he'll drink that and it would give you a mobile, healthy breakfast. Let him make the choices the night before so you can have the fruits ready for him to blend in the AM. Yawn, good luck!!

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D.B.

answers from Charlotte on

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S.T.

answers from New York on

Take a deep breath. Line him up in the evening - emotionally and physically. Maybe skip the TV. let him try to wake up quietly. Tell him the night before how proud you are that he gets up and out so early and how he's growing up to be such a responsible young man. Set up expectations for him in advance. Tell him that you know he can get up and get his clothes on - lay them out before bed time. Give him some options for breakfast. We found that anything in cubes, and anything with a toothpick stuck in it was attractive for a 4 - 6 yr old. Cut up peanut butter & jelly sandwich (or cut in long "sticks"), cubes of cheese, apple slices with peanut butter, balogna layed on top of eachother in cubes (or layered with cheese). This kind of breakfast is also portable (put in a ziploc bag and let him eat in the car) and has protein to help him feel satisfied for longer). In a pinch cheerios in a ziploc bag can also be OK (but not for every day).

When he rises to your expectations and gets out of the hosue pretty quickly be sure to cheer his efforts, give him hugs, or a special treat you've got aside (fruit roll up or fruit snacks) - tell him how proud you are that he helped you and acted so very grown up. Lay it on thick. Every kid in the world wants their parents to be proud of them - loves the adulation.

He will rise to your expectations - watch for it. Every night be sure to let him know what you expect in the morning, and remind him when he wakes up, Give him kisses and hugs as you get him out of bed. Make it a pleasant experience. Then let him know what a good job he did and tell him how proud you are of his behavior. Make sure he knows you love him no matter what - but that his good behavior makes you so proud.

You will still have some tough mornings - but setting expectaions and rewarding appropriate behavior will go a long way. An 80 year old sunday school teacher told me this when my 14 yr old was 3. She knew what she was talking about. ;o)

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J.W.

answers from Los Angeles on

oh sweetie, 25 mins is NOT enough time! I know I used to wake my 3 yr old up at 6:15 also to leave the house at 7, that NEVER happened, not even once, for the last year I got to work late and realized I was nothing mut a ball of stress before I even had my first cup of coffee..... So I changed my scheduale, Your son wont know the difference between 6 or 6:15, get those extra 15 mins in, tell him to pick the show he wants to watch the night before, and there is no changing it, let him know ahead of time. As for breakfast, I stummbled upon something so simple and stupid, it makes me think im soooo smart, I made waffles on a sunday once ( you have to have the waffle maker) I made it with whole wheat flour and added a whole bunch of berries to the mix, it makes nice colored waffles, and I made enough for 1 weeks worth in the morning, whats fun, is that I freeze them, pop them into the toaster and volia, what my son loves is that he gets to make every waffle morning different, he can have peanut butter, maple syrup, nutella, starwberry jam, what every he wants in those little waffle holes, I then cut them up into individual little pieces, and he loves it, they are bit size and filled with something different... He eats them while hes wathcing his tv show while Im getting ready, If hes not done, I put them into a small container and he finishes them on the way to daycare. I understand you all too well, good luck, also I used to make yougurt smoothies, but thats done every night before and So I ran out of time, so the waffles work better for us.

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L.A.

answers from Austin on

We realized very early that our daughter is not a morning person. She still isn't.

I used to wake her up about 20 minutes, before she really needed to be up. Then I would ask her, "do you want 10 more minutes?" Most times she said yes.. The I would go in and ask, "do you need 5 more minutes?" Again she could decide. Then I would totally tell her it was time to get up.. it would take her a few minutes to sit up and get to the bathroom.

This continued for years until I got her an alarm of her own..

The TV.. We did not turn it on until she started eating breakfast.. Our daughter still hates breakfast and she is 20... I always gave her 2 choices. She was fine with a small fruit bowl, a small smoothy, peanut butter crackers, every once in a while she would ask for a fruit bar (breakfast cereal bar) .. Once she began chewing SHE was allowed to watch a show or video. I always had it set to her shows in the morning.

We have a neighbor that makes her kids decide what they will eat for breakfast the night before. They liked more elaborate breakfasts.

I am sending you strength.

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M.R.

answers from Chicago on

Prepare everything ahead at night as much as possible.

Make a "scarecrow" with his clothes, laid out on the floor or chair, etc. with him.

Prep breakfast, if you can. (I have some healthy breakfast recipes here:
http://chickiepea.wordpress.com/recipes/) He needs to load up on protein in the morning- meat, cheese, eggs, nuts and good fats- grass-fed butter, coconut oil, ground flax seeds or flax seed oil... to prepare his body and brain for the day.

I would keep the TV off and keep everything very routine. TV tends to make us MORE lethargic, and I think it makes the transitions harder too (time to turn off the tv and put on shoes can be a battle!)

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L.T.

answers from Chicago on

I have one child who is a morning person and one who is not! The one who is not - we talk before bedtime about our morning plan. Lay out clothes, (including the coat, mittens, gloves and shoes buy the front door) what is for breakfast (I can prepare it while he is getting dressed) and no TV until after we are dressed, breakfast is finished and our teeth are brushed. Things go smoothly when he feels I am listening, tuned in to his needs, and he is involved in the decision making process. TV is the treat even if it's only for 15 minutes!

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D.K.

answers from Pittsburgh on

He needs more than 25 minutes. DS gets up at 7:00 to leave for pre-school at 8:15. We could probably be out the door at 8:00 but it would be substantially more stressful. I think you need to wake him earlier or leave later. Can he eat breakfast at preschool? When we go to the airport early, we wake DS, rush through teeth brushing, dress him and out the door. We eat at the airport and it works. Making things a game helped a lot when DS was 4 - wow, you are one sleepyhead, I bet I can count to 10 before you even start brushing your teeth. Giving time warnings helped also - ok, we have 5 minutes more to eat, then we need to brush teeth. We also always did things in the same order so we could say - ok, you can play, if there is time left after you eat, brush teeth and get dressed.

Breakfast - reheated whole grain pancakes or french toast (put them in the toaster), yogurt with chopped fresh fruit, oatmeal with raisins or fresh fruit, English muffins with peanut butter and banana, leftover brown rice reheated with milk, cinnamon or cardamom and raisins (faux rice pudding). Scrambled egg (only takes 1-2 minutes to scramble 1 egg) with avocado and toast.

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A.S.

answers from Chicago on

We have similar issues, and my son will be 4 in April. Much of the difficulty in getting him going in the morning is that he is CONSTANTLY up and out of his room at night so that it's pretty late by the time he actually falls asleep and is very tired when we wake him up. Lately, he wants to get out of bed by himself, too. If an earlier bedtime doesn't work, I like the idea of telling him he needs to get up around 6:00 so that he feels like you're letting him sleep in until 6:15. We tell our son that if he hurries up with potty, hand washing and teeth brushing, then he can get dressed while watching a little TV. We have also changed him in bed while he's pretty sleepy, but he will sometimes throw a real fit. When he does get up on his own, we lay on the praise about being such a big boy and he's so much easier to deal with on those mornings.

My rush to get out the door is so that they can get to preschool in time to get breakfast so I don't also have to deal with feeding my kids at home...which also affects what time I eventually get to work. If he likes yogurt, try Go-Gurt or another similar on-the-go yogurt. He may like cereal bars (because of the fruit filling) or you can try the Kashi granola bars, which are pretty high in protein and low in added sugar and will stay in his tummy a little longer.

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