My daughter (who will be 4 in three weeks) has been potty trained since last June, but constantly complains when I tell her it's time to go potty. She will sleep for 10 hours, wake up and then "hold it in" for as long as she possibly can. She'll get to the point where she's rocking back & forth, shaking her legs, etc. all while insisting she doesn't have to go potty (which clearly she does). Once she finally does go, we start the whole process again later in the day. I feel like I've tried everything - setting a "time to go potty" timer, bribes, even threats...lately, the only thing that will get her to go is if I grab one of my 11 month old's diapers and tell her that I'm going to put it on her instead. When I ask her why she doesn't want to go, she just says she doesn't like going potty. Any suggestions on how to tackle this? I get so frustrated seeing her rocking & shaking trying to hold it in and then protesting when I insist she go, plus I'm concerned she's going to get some sort of infection. She's been doing this for months - I thought it was just a phase, but she doesn't seem to be growing out of it. Anyone else experienced this problem with their child before? Thanks in advance for your help!
I have similar problem with 3 year old. She used to be diaper free day and night, now she wets often. I can only guess it came from her year (1-2yrs old) of constant constipation, pain, and attention on the issue. I recommend you talk to a pedi GI specialist (get referral from pediatrician) or pediatrician, but I'm looking for advice too.
Has she complained that it hurts to go to the bathroom or that it's "hot"? My daughter did this for awhile and finally told me that it hurt. I took her to the doctor and it turned out she had a urinary tract infection. Once she had the medication, it cleared right up, and we have not had the problem since. Even if it's nothing, it may be a good idea to check with her doctor, just to rule everything out. Good luck.
Try going to the dollar tree and buying toys and books that she can only play with or look at while she's going potty.
My son has been potty trained for 4 months and he will not go potty if we ask him or try and make him. We don't even ask him anymore we just let him tell us. IF you do ask him, he gets very upset and refuses to go. I guess he just wants to be independant!
HI E., reward her with some little thing she would like whenever she finally go or race her to the potty. Good luck.S.
Dear E.,
It's amazing how annoying these power struggles can be isn't it?
What a great way to get Mommy's attention away from little brother on a daily basis!
My advice to you (for your own mental health) is to just take her to the potty when she gets up in the a.m. and keep her there until she goes, then at lunch time the same thing, and so on.
OR, at the first sign of "rocking or shaking" do the same thing.
Do not allow arguing or whining etc.(Walk out of the room.)
Going to the toilet is just a fact of life and we must do it whether we like it or not.
I would go back to a certain time for her to go, like every hour ON the hour. Make sure that there are books and a toy or two for her and a magazine or book for you. She has to sit there until she does SOMETHING. Calm, no arguement. OH! Look, it's 1:00pm! This does a couple of things, teaches her to be patient and look at books, relax and use the toilet AND start on telling time.
You are right, if she doesn't learn to go then she is setting herself up for a UTI. Good luck! =)
E., my daughter is very similar. She is almost 5 and I still have to make her go in the morning...like right now. She has been awake for over 1 hour and still hasn't gone yet. Of course, I can't be up for more than 2 minutes without going. At first, when we potty trained it was an all out battle to get her to go. She would go maybe 4 times a day. I still have to get firm...you can't go to dance until you pee...I don't know why! No infection, just stubborn little girl. BUT, in the beginning I just made her go. Yes, sometimes I threatened her with a pull up, but mostly just told her no cartoons, no snacks, no whatever till she peed. I told her it was her choice not to pee, but my choice not to give her whatever it was. That seemed to work the best. I also told her that if she peed her pants-because she waited to long, I would give some sort of punishement--ie, no cartoon, no snack etc. I put it in her hands. She has been trained since 2 1/2 so like I said, we still have to firmly reminder her to go, but now I know she just has a better bladder then me! Good luck..now I'm off to turn off Barney to make her pee:)
Dear E.,
I'm just as anxious as you to find out an answer. My daughter did the same thing at the same age as yours. We also tried EVERYTHING we could think of. We're still having the same battle, and my daughter is now 10 yrs. old!!! She also refuses to go at school or any other public place, for fear of dirty toilets/germs. She will hold it for HOURS, too!! Don't give up trying, because if your daughter is anything like mine, you have years ahead of you, fighting this battle!! I share your frustration...DD.
I know when Abbie began the process, we made it a positive thing. Talked about what a big girl she was AND we had a chart on the wall for a sticker each time she went. She LLLLLOVED putting the stickers on. She reminded people that each of those stickers was for every time she "went potty". She was pretty proud of herself and she got to pick out the stickers.
Pick something she likes, whether it's stickers, a story, etc and use those as earned rewards for her accomplishments.
You might want to call the Dr she could have some kind of infection where it hurts when she goes.
