Advice for Potty Training - Folsom,CA

hi K., i to have a almost 3yr old son & he hasn't had any desire to catch on to the potty scene. i think i have finaly found what motivates him to the potty, its stickers & we also have a potty chart the last 5 days we have had 10 pee's in the potty no poo's yet. the stickers are only for potty & trust me he jones for a sticker, enough to go pee! so i would try the stickers, you can get all different kinds at the dollar store. i wish you luck, its no fun to potty train in the winter either but after alls said & done "THIS TO SHALL PASS"! (HANDY MANDY IS OK TO BUY FOR GIRLS) whatever motivates her is what you will get results on. happy new year. T. mother of 3 boys 25,22, almost 3

My daughter wasn't afraid of the potty so I dont' know if this would work. But my daughter loved dresses so I put her in a dress with her favorite shoes on. No undies. And the second time she peed in her favorite shoes and sloshed around in them she decided the toilet was for her. Good luck!

Hi K.-
I went through a really difficult phase with my son. In fact, he didnt start going poop on the potty until he was a little over FOUR years old. It was SO incredibly frustrating. He didnt have the problem with pee, but he definitely had the same feeling of fear - for whatever reason, was frightened of using the potty to go poop. After countless conversations with the doctor (and even a child psychologist!!), I came to realize that this was nothing I could control. All the professional advice I got said "he is not ready. As much as it is frustrating, try to take smaller steps and not have the goal be going on the potty right now." THey suggested that I let him use the diaper- but have him go on the potty with the diaper on. That didnt really work either.
All I could do was give him the control-because he was not going to let me do this for him. Every time I would suggest or ask if he was ready to use the potty. He would say, "NO! Stop talking about it!" SO I did. It was tough. And slowly, he started talking a little about it. At that point, I would just encourage him with positive reinforcement. All of a sudden, he one day decided that was the day. That was that. Hang in there- believe me, I know how tough it is- but it will pass!

i would try having her watch you everytime you go to the bathroom #1 and #2 and make a big deal about how they can't get you and say bye bye when you flush. my friend tried this on her daughter a few years ago and it worked. it helps even more if daddy would do the same when he goes #2. good luck.

Hi K.,
Our daughter turned 3 last Friday, was potty trained by 18 months, then reverted six months later with a lot of false fear, though real to her...distraction, avoidance, forgetting, all that. We stopped. We stopped the mnms, the prompting bit. No big deal. We learned this with our son who simply trained later. He also withheld bowels so we changed diet, did xrays to make sure he bowels were ok and they were blocked so keep an eye on that. We gave both kids probiotics for gut and bladder issues and all around good health.etc...which helped that and a ped shared she was going through the same thing just recently with her 3 year old. My mom reminded me how I trained so young...not much tv, no pull ups...For the next 8 months I poured even more time into my daughter but not around training, just being with her. One day before Christmas, I heard her upstairs and learned she had changed a #2 pull up herself, wiped it (to her best as those messes are much more) got a blue disposable bag and put it in her pail in her bathroom. She also cleaned the floor and was changing her clothes. I encouraged her how wonderful that was and knew she was ready to train. I did not make it a big deal, did not offer treats to lure her but she remembered the mnms and started going and would ask for them. I would give them, but soon, she just did. She does still have these random pee accidents and will sometimes with hold # 2 without encouragement. She gets busy and sometimes just does not want to and sometimes does. Very 3. She has a vivid imagination and as I write, is telling me she wants the fog to go away because it is going to get her. Lastly, I sometimes hang out and talk to her about anything but potty and then she relaxes and well,....better. I hope some of this helps. Both of my kids still have night issues intermittently. Deep sleeping son.
Younger daughter

Might seem kinda strange but if she wants the boys undies & you think it might help her go potty ('we don't want to get Diego wet. let's go peepee on the potty') then I say buy them. The concern w/holding her pee is a bladder infection which will be very uncomfortable for her so maybe try giving her lotsa fluids so that she HAS to pee. Maybe try reverse psychology, 'Oh, let's get some more diapers since you aren't ready for undies,' & that sorta talk w/o making it demeaning & it might change her mind. But the biggest piece of advice I have is put her in control....encourage her to tell you when she needs to go instead of you telling/suggesting to sit on the potty. Otherwise, I agree w/the other repsonse....stop talking about it. One thing to keep in mind....kids have don't have control over much in their little lives but the one thing they can control is their peeing & pooping. Sounds like this has become a battle of the wills so try to stop stressing about it & that may help your daughter ease up about it as well. Best of luck!

Hi K.,
Do you go to the bathroom in front of her (both 1 & 2)? Maybe if she sees you go and sees it's okay... that could help. Another thing I did was when my son would go 2, I would show him while I put it in the toilet because "that's where it belongs" (something I had read, and it seemed to work). Best of luck to you. It can be very frustrating! Oh- and beware giving too much candy when she does go- my friend's son did SO well with potty training that he got diarrhea from his treats! :)
A. T

You probably need to let her watch you so she can see that the pee and poop fall down into the toilet and get flushed away. Let her flush for you and say bye bye to it. Make a big deal out of how nice it is to have the pee and poop go away into the toilet and flushed away.

Also, when she does have a poopy diaper, try dumping it into the potty and letting her flush it away. Tell her how nice it is to not get the poo poo on her bottom because it goes away into the toilet.

If she has a potty chair, you may want to try getting her a stool and a seat to go on the big potty. Some of the catch trays in the potty seats are pretty shallow and I can see how she might be afraid that the poop and pee will get her.

If you haven't read books about the potty get several and read them to her. Most of the books explain how it is natural for babies to use a diaper and big kids and grown ups to use the potty and some address fear of the toilet.

Good luck!

The only way that worked for my daughter was to COMPLETLY remove all underware and diapers!!!!! When she has to go it is a game to 'put it where it goes'! when it ends up on the floor it is, "you almost made it!" there was never a negative reaction to anything that happened and the only difficulty was her discomfort when she had to put it somewhere! Good luck!

I wonder if by saying "its going to get me" maybe she is talking about the splash back in the toilet/potty. ? Maybe you can put toilet paper in the potty before she goes so she doesnt feel anything "get her". Just a thought.

There's a funny little book called "Everyone Poops" that may make her laugh and help with the fear. I've seen it at Barnes & Noble and it may even be at your library.
Try a drink & wet dolly - have her teach the doll how to go potty and not to be scared. I stole this idea from Dr. Phil - the best way to learn something is to have to teach it to someone else.
Kids come up with ideas out of left field sometimes. Maybe she has a bladder infection and it stings to pee??
My friend's daughter was afraid of the toilet & how it worked, so they got a book on plumbing from Home Depot & showed her where the water comes from and where it goes and that she is too big to fit in the hole in the potty and would never go down the pipes. Now she likes to explain the plumbing to visitors. They had to question her for months to figure out exactly what she was worried about.
Good Luck! She will be potty trained in time for Prom, don't worry.

My 3 year old daughter wears diego briefs. I think it's cute on her. She had a UTI a few months ago from holding her pee and I had to take her to the emergency room because of the risks of kidney infection snd she was on antibiotics. Watching Barney taught my daughter alot when it came to using the potty, brushing your teeth, abc's, numbers etc. She was only a year old when she learned her abc's, numbers and nursery rhymes. Letting her pee in her pants while at home is a good way for her to learn too. I think if you put toilet tissue in the toilet it can help avoid the water splashing on her.

Even though your daughter seems ready in many ways, if she has these fears it might be better to back off and wait a little longer to push potty training. I would give encouragement, but not insist if she's crying and resisting. It sounds like she's truly afraid and that isn't going to make for a good training experience. Oh, how much we adults want that stage to be over -- for our own convenience -- but we need to be sure to meet the child's needs too. It's been said many times on this site, but bears repeating... she won't be going in her pants when she's in college, so don't sweat it too much now. Just wait for her to be emotionally as well as physically ready.

I do agree with the lady who cautioned against too much candy as a reward. That can easily get out of hand, and I'm not sure children really make the connection as well as we adults would like to think they do.

I had success by putting my daughter on the toilet backwards so she could here when she went and also see herself go plus I think it gave her more security of not falling in. I used the padded potty seat that goes on top of the regulas toilet. Lots of patience needed and consistenancy is key.

Hi,
You may need to take a break from potty training for a month or so, then try again later when she is ready and has gotten past her worries about it.
good luck
J.

Have you tried the book, "Toilet Training in Less than a Day"?

www.3daypottytraining.com

It works!