my one twin hates sleeping, she rarely naps and then when we do the SAME routine every night it's amazng how much she cries and fuss's.
We bath, maybe watch 20 mins of tv, read books, sing songs, snuggle,talk about how sleep helps the body and makes her feel better the next day. We have tried the crying (she will go for 2 hours or more i am sure) they have a night light, door open/door closed/ blankets, music (snce they were little). I have even bagged up all her toys in trash bags due to the fight each night.
It drives us nuts, then she is up at 630 with me as i get ready for work. .... there has to be some old school "something" that might work, i don't know whatelse to do.....
The twin that sleeps won't sleep deep as she worries about the one that hates going to bed (especially at night) .. we try the crying and there are nights that she is still awake at 11 pm - after starting our routine @ 815/830. And again up at 630 - and she doesn't nap during the day either (she has quiet time) but not a real nap....
try changing the tv time to before the bath. its possible that the tv time is actually waking her up.
It is possible that she just isnt tired at 8:15. Have you tried having them do stretches before bath time to tire out the muscles?
I will probably get blasted for this - but I suggest melatonin. Perfectly safe, non-narcotic, and I did give it to my son as young as 4. With pediatric approval.
I find that if given 20 minutes before sleep time, so after bath, tv, books, snuggle, etc. when your daughter is settled in the bed, it should help her fall to sleep.
The key is training her body to sleep. You know, we all go through times when we our sleep schedules get screwed up. Little ones do also.
You are doing way too much before bedtime - par down your night time routine. Bath, book, bed. Too much activity - TV, singing, talking, will stimulate your child and wake her up again.
Do your daughter sleep in the same bed? Maybe that would help her also - until she gets used to falling asleep. Then they can go back into separate beds.
Good Luck.
I think you have several good suggestions here:
Melatonin has been very helpful for one of my sister's boys who often has a hard time sleeping.
I agree with dropping tv for at least an hour before bedtime. Research has shown that it actually keeps people awake because of the kind of light it emits. (Which, incidentally, suppresses the release of melatonin.)
As suggested, an earlier bedtime may be in order. Overtiredness usually manifests as over-upset or hyperactivity.
I'm not sure she understands the connection between no toys and her crying.
You say that 'she will go on for two hours or more' with the crying. What exactly are you doing now besides bagging up toys, nightlight, etc. I think this would be a good 'missing link' for us to problem-solve around. You also don't say what time your kids actually have lights-out bedtime. Kids 3-6 are recommended to have at least 10-12 hours of sleep each night. (My son is five and needs between 10-11.) If you could tell us what you are doing when she cries, we might be able to help you more.( I'll check back on this question later!)
Try the Ferber method, it worked for us. Since she doesn't go to sleep till 11, don't put her to bed till 11:30. Then say goodnight, and let her scream if she will for 5 minutes. Go back in after an additional 10 minutes, then an additional 15, then an additional 20 etc. Tuck her in, say goodnight its time to sleep and nothing more. This is not play time. Keep at it for the 2+ hours it will take. Keep at it for a week. You will see that she will go to sleep with less protest every night. When she is sleeping easily, and consistently, you can start bumping her bedtime closer to a reasonable hour. Do so 15 minutes at a time, so it isn't too big an adjustment for her.
Good luck to you and yours,
F. B.
to be honest my kids were 5 yo and older before they consistently could sleep with out fights or night wakings. We tried alot and they would go for a while and then get sick, or scared, or off routine and it was back to square one.
My first thought is that she is overtired and her body is producing adreneline to fight not sleeping which is making it even harder for her to sleep.
If you are serious about trying somethign new, Drop the TV. Don't even turn it on,
You said you work so i don't know how much time you have in the evening, but after supper, keep the artificial lights off, and pull down the blinds so it's dim, that will signal her body it's really to start relaxing.
watch to see if she has a sleepy window if you see her yawn in the bathtub then the next night know that you need to push the whole routine up so the yawn would come when you are all done and snuggling instead of in the middle of the routine.
Some kids sleep better if you move their bed time up, some in 15 min increments some just cold turkey move it up 45 mins. so that by the time she's done fussing it will still be early enough for her to get a solid 11 hrs.
the only other old school thing i can think of is to have her with you and pay attention to her as much as you can so that she gets her fill of attention durign the day and doesn't fight for it at night.
good luck and hang in there because she will get it.it might just take awhile.
oh white noise machine???
Have you tried asking her why? Or what is going on? Or is she in pain or something?
Has she ALWAYS been this way?
Is she having night-mares? At this age a child does have nightmares.
And at this age, actually from 2 years old, general "fears" about nighttime or about things, crop up. Even about the dark and noises at night etc. It is developmental based.
Thankfully, both twins are not this way at bedtime!
Well, you're not saying what you're doing now if she cries at bedtime....
I'd try letting her cry. Do the modified CIO--check in 5 min, do not talk, back in bed, etc etc etc.
(Let the other O. sleep in a sleeping bag in your room until it's done?)
I'm wondering if 8:15/8:30 is too late to begin your routine. My 3 year old recently stopped taking naps and also wakes up around 6:30 or 7:00 am. I start his bedtime routine around 7:00 pm, and he's usually in bed by 8:00 or 8:30 pm.
I don't remember exactingly, but I thought at that age the recommendation was for around 12 hours of total sleep. Our boys usually get 10 or 11 hours, but that seems to be there nature.
I would try to begin the routine a little earlier.
We get home from work at 515 and spend as much quality time with the girls as we can (besides dinner and clean up of course) - our routine has been the same for 2 years with it being bath around 7-730(ish) we read books and then have the same kind of routine for songs (def not upbeat singing) lullabyes really and we all lay in bed together. I try and be out of the room by 830 to allow the remaining bit of night to get to "my" stuff.
As for what we have tried on the crying, we leave her in there, we try talking to her, bargaining even, i hate to be the yelling mommy but most of the time i thnk her crying is just for the "fun" of it.... over the last year and a half it feels like we have tried everything - some nights she is fine, off she goes to la la land... others is a constant battle.
She could honestly sit there and cry and moan (whether we remove her sister or not from the room) for a long period of time and as i mentioned some days she is laying there at 10:30/11 and still awake.
Updated
We get home from work at 515 and spend as much quality time with the girls as we can (besides dinner and clean up of course) - our routine has been the same for 2 years with it being bath around 7-730(ish) we read books and then have the same kind of routine for songs (def not upbeat singing) lullabyes really and we all lay in bed together. I try and be out of the room by 830 to allow the remaining bit of night to get to "my" stuff.
As for what we have tried on the crying, we leave her in there, we try talking to her, bargaining even, i hate to be the yelling mommy but most of the time i thnk her crying is just for the "fun" of it.... over the last year and a half it feels like we have tried everything - some nights she is fine, off she goes to la la land... others is a constant battle.
She could honestly sit there and cry and moan (whether we remove her sister or not from the room) for a long period of time and as i mentioned some days she is laying there at 10:30/11 and still awake.
