My daughter is 3 1/2 and lately she has been very emotionally absent. She hates when I hug or kiss her, she has become very agressive and is starting to talk back a lot. Should I be worried or is this just a phase? I sometimes wonder if I am doing a good job as her mom, do I need to be more affectionate, more stern and discipline her more??? She was not any trouble in her 2's......
Any comments are appreciated.
My daughter will be 4 in April. She is doing the exact same things! Thank you for raising the question.
T.,
Forget the terrible twos, I think age 3-4 is worse with being sorry and more aggressive.
I am sure you are doing a great job as a mom, otherwise, you would not be considering if it is something that you are doing.
Not everyone is a disciplinarian by nature. Be ofservant and see when she is being emotional. Is it to be manipulative? If so, she may need more discipline at this time. It is very unlikely that you can reason with her, but you can tell her that she should cry only when she is hurt, etc. Teach her to use her words, more than her tears.
This is the hardest age in many ways, because they are just so cute, you want to cuddle them and comfort them every time they cry, but that will not help her in the future. Try redirecting her to do something else when she cries. Take something away from her that she really likes and teach her to apologize for her behavior and actions. A child at this age is just now learning shame, so be careful not to be too overwhelming to her, but at the same time, let her know you can tell she does not need to cry about what she is crying about.
If she hates to hug and kiss, it will just be a phase. Try to comfort her by petting her hair or something soothing like that.
This too shall pass. God bless, good luck and stay strong!
M.
Terrible twos is just what they are called... They come at all ages. Your daughter has hit them late. She is now going through them. The best you can do is try adn help her manage her anger and emotions. The good thing is that it is easier to talk to a 3 and 1/2 year old than it is to a 2 year old.
Of course your a good mom you are showing concern. I would try talking with her as much as possible. Ask her about her day, what was fun about the day. Ask her about her favorite cartoon and what part was funny to her in the cartoon. Take as many opportunities as you can to dialouge with her. Ask her how does she like you to do her hair with one ponytail or two. When she shows a negative behavior talk with her again explaining that her behavior is unacceptable and give her consequences very bad behavior. Nothing harsh at all but remember kids need boundaries and structure.
It's a phase.
Both of my kids have gone through this at 3 1/2. My daughter is much more emotional than my son and we're still going through it, currently...
Remember: "This too shall pass".
