My 3 year old has a very difficult time playing by himself. When we are at home he easily gets bored and constantly asks for my attention and wants me to play with him. And I do sometimes but I just think that he should be able to pick up his toys and play on his own. We have a reasonable number and variety of toys (cars, trains, puzzles, blocks, books...). I try to be out of the house as much as possible and take him to as many play dates as possible, but if we are at home and I can't play with him he ends up whining, harassing his younger brother or playing "crazy" - jumping, throwing toys, etc. We don't do much arts and craft because of my 18 month old. Any suggestions how I can get him more interested in his toys? Or is this just the way he is and I can't do anything about it?
Try setting the timer for 5 minutes to play by himself then reward him with a coffee break/cocoa/juice & toast break together. Build from the 5 minute play times through out the day. Try not to do to may timed moments in the first days. Then you can build and add another 5 minutes.
Kids are flexible, he may catch on & learn to play by himself in less than a month.
I learned that some kids are just that way! I was always a big "play by myself" kid. My mother always told me that once my children became toddlers, I would have PLENTY of time to clean, cook, do laundry -even work on contracts that I took on. HA! What a joke! I learned that MOST toddlers do NOT play by themselves very easily or very long. I also have a great friend who was blessed with a child who is a lot like I was. He has ALWAYS played by himself for long periods of time. She could put the baby gate on his bedroom door, and he would play in there for 2 hours! She could turn on Saturday morning cartoons, put him in bed with her and go back to sleep -and he would sit there and watch! She's now finding out how the rest of us live with the 2 year old boy she has -there is no down time! I think it's really a personality thing. However most small children are not going to go play on their own for any length of time. Some do, but they're rare. My oldest just doesn't. He's 4.5 now, and he's gotten a lot better, but I've never had that down time. Even when we go to a bouncy play place, I watch other moms sit down and look at magazines, but not me -I have to be watching, jumping, sliding along with him.
My 2 year old, however, DOES play by himself! He won't do it for an hour or anything, but he'll actually go to his room or the living room and play with trucks and trains or look at books and sometimes I find myself in a panic because I realize I haven't seen or heard anything out of him in awhile! I'm so used to his older brother -it's shocking! So, sorry -but your 3 year old just isn't wired for it. He will get better about it though. As your 18 month old gets older, they'll also play together, and it's a wonderful thing!
Normal, although all kids are different. Try to engage him in something, then walk away for 5 or 10 minutes.....to change out the laundry, etc. Then check back in with him.
I think this is normal for most 3yos. My son was the same way, although I have found as his imagination has grown, so has his ability to play by himself (he is 4). I'll start playing with him to get him started, and then ease out of the room. This seemed to work for him...
He still loves to play with us now, and we do, but he is more independent than he was a year ago. Hang in there...
I had to smile reading your post - I have two boys 4 and 2 and deal with this all the time. I know some people do not like this statement but I think some of the issue is because we are talking about boys. I have found boys need lots and lots of outside time, jumping, playing, etc. But I also agree that personality has a lot to do with it. My two year old is a child that tends to play by himself a little more than his brother. My four year old has gotten a little better but I do not think he is ever going to be a child that wants to spend much time playing by himself. I was a child who always wanted to play by myself so I guess I kinda thought that may happen? But all kids are different. I totaly understand what you mean as far as trying to keep him busy, I do that too, but sometimes I just want to be home and half the time as you wrote he starts whining, getting into trouble, and jumping on the funiture - I call them my wild monkeys - I really do not think it is anything I have done it is just who they are. As you said I do limit the arts and crafts because I have to constantly be there or they will draw on thereself, walls, or the little one will eat the crayon or playdoh. I do not think I have presented any real answers to you because quite honestly I have not found any yet :) but I think you are right in keeping him busy. I also do think it will get better. We have similar aged boys and it can be challenging at times but I have found is getting easier - I think :)
Clear all clutter, put out only a couple of things to do-maybe even one at a time. It's amazing how much more time my kids will spend with one toy in an empty room than with a full toy room of toys thrown around. Play with him early in the day for a while, so he feels more fulfilled later. Enforce a certain amount of time where he must play and don't allow the bad behavior. He'll get used to it, but it's natural for him to be like this. It's good for him to learn not to whine and get destructive though, so don't feel bad enforcing it. Good luck!
My son is the same exact way...
getting kids to play by themselves is hard. here are my suggestions.
1) clean out his toys, have a few(6-7) select toys out to play with at a time, put the rest in storage. If there are too many he wont know where to start. ( it is like when your house is a huge mess, you don't know where to start. just too overwhelming)
2) dont let him watch any tv. it really hinders the imagination.
3) show him how to play don't ask him to come play with you, do it when you know he is watching. kids learn by example. when you have time and when he is not whining at you, sit down on the floor and pick up a truck, build a road, drive the truck around making truck sounds. have the truck driver get out and make lunch, go shopping, wash dishes, go to bed take a shower. all pretend on the floor. do this for 5-10 minutes a day and he will catch on.
4) while he is learning to play by himself he is going to whine. he will get board enough to play by himself if you give him the tools to do so. just let him know that you have work that you are doing and he need to play by him self.
5) having the toys in the same room that you are in is a good idea because kids don't usually feel comfortable playing by themselves in their bedroom or a play room. and it he only has a few toys it is really easy to clean up.
6)You are your child's first teacher is an excellent book. I have never read it cover to cover, i just pick it up and read a section now and then to get inspired. there are a lot of good ideas on how to get you child's imagination going.
Put him to work-a three yr old can make his bed, put his clothes away-wipe up the floors-with water and no chemicals, of course, dust, etc-soon, he will be diving for his toys!
