I Hate "Boy Stuff" - Bad Mom?

I actually like Thomas which is my 5 year old's favorite toy. I don't like the monsters that my other boy likes, I don't get them but I guess it's all about the action. I don't know how more sweet girls can be though as I don't have many around but even as my boys are, fully boyish, they are the cutest, they are so fun and they the people I miss the most when I am at work or they have gone to bed. I miss them every moment, I miss their noises, their pokemon guys and their sweet smiles. Silly little boys.

I found your post really funny and refreshingly honest. I'm the mom to two wild boys and although I LOVE it, there are moments when I don't find farts funny, don't want to have to catch and wrestle my one year old to the ground just to change his diaper and don't want my tummy used as a trampoline.

Although I always wanted to have boys, sometimes I have a moment or two when I wonder what it would be like to have a girl, to shop for her and dress her up but then I remember what it was like to be a teenage girl and how mean they can be and the moment quickly passes.

And WOW, there are a lot of haters out there. I don't think you were being ungrateful for your child or whining or any of the other negative responses given. You are entitled to your feelings. I loved your post and found it quite interesting, amusing and refreshingly honest.

PS. Sorry this response is really late but my little ones didn't give me a moment to respond earlier. Anyway, back to wrestling with the boys. And to all you moms of active little boys and girls "Rrrroarr" :) (I think that's Monster for good luck!)

I have the opposite problem. I am not a girly girl and don't enjoy manicures, shopping, all the normal girl things. But, if my daughter wants to do them, of course I'll do them with her.

We have both a daughter and a son - though each is completely drawn to toys for their own gender, there are a lot of neutral toys that you can play with too (blocks, play-doh, Mr/Mrs. Potato Head, etc).

Maybe this next comment will also help put it into a different perspective: I was diagnosed with cancer the day before my son's second birthday and when my daughter was 10 weeks old. Even if I don't want to do something with them because I'm not interested (I hate Max and Ruby), I remember what hell 5 months of chemo to beat cancer was like and how much of a gift every moment of every day is with them. They are now 3.5 and 22 months, and I hope I never lose sight of that life lesson.

It's not wrong of you not to enjoy those things. When you have time to yourself, indulge in all the girly things you like to do. But, for his sake, engage with him in the things he likes.

For the record, our son does have dolls, a shopping cart, etc. We don't care of he plays with his sister's toys (both love Barbie and Polly Pocket)

Just because you're frustrated with the "boy" activities doesn't mean you're a bad mom. I was blessed with a boy (4) and a girl (almost 3) and while I love them both to pieces, sometimes I wish my son was as easy going as my daughter. He's super hyper active and is always running around and getting into trouble where my daughter would be happy sitting with a baby doll. All mothers feel frustration at some point, trust me, I know. I'm always frustrated with my son because of how active he is. As I'm writing this, my son is in the middle of throwing a fit; we'd been watching a movie on my laptop in his and my daughter's room so that my husband could get rid of his migraine with a little quiet and I stretched out on the bed for a moment and my son jumped on me, followed by my daughter; that's sixty pounds of kids (and my daughter is big for her age, height and weight wise) ... after I got them off of my back, neck and elbow, my son launched himself at my daughter who pushed back at him with her feet; he nearly fell directly on my laptop. I told them movie time was over and it was time for bed (it's 9pm). I'm nearly ready to run screaming from the building.

That doesn't mean I don't love my son, I do love him, but sometimes I wish he was quieter.

I agree with some of the other suggestions; enroll your son in a martial arts class; we just enrolled my son in Taijitsu which combines some Gymnastics and tumbling to teach the kids how to avoid fights when cornered by bullies. It's bound to happen, more now than ever. Also, don't be afraid to introduce him to more "feminine" things such as cooking. Men should know how to cook too; my son's fourth favorite channel is the food network (it comes in behind Discovery channel, animal planet, and PBS.) and he knows both Bobby Flay and Rachel Ray by sight. He loves to help me whip out a batch of cookies, brownies or apple crisp. I peel an animal and cut it off the core then I give him a section of apple and a plastic knife and let him cut the apple. It keeps him distracted and he loves feeling like he's helping. Good luck!

lol! i hear you :) i have 2 boys myself and i am the girliest girl ever as well. i have to nieces however so i can get that out of my system once in a while. my oldest is only 3 so, you know what, i make him watch princess movies from time to time and he doesn't complain! i play dolls with him, or better yet stuffed animals. my ped just told me that it's really good for boys to play with animals as it's socially taboo most of the time for them to play dolls, whether it's a real pet or a stuffed toy, it will make them better fathers, so you're not scarring them for life by playing "house" with them. when my guy does art i do it right along with him and make the most frilly girly pictures i can. this is more part of US i think, we want to have that feminine outlet, it's hard being around boys 24/7 :) i adore my boys, of course i do, but a little girl would be really nice as well, nothing wrong with this! buy yourself some barbie dolls maybe, i collect dolls so this is also an outlet for me for all that girly energy.

and sweetie, you are not alone. every mom out there has days where they want to sell their babies to the gypsies, boys OR girls, raising children is not always a fun picnic and anyone who is trying to say that it "should be" is seriously not tapped into reality. don't let the turkeys get you down. i agree with one other poster said, go have a nice spa day with the girls in your life. i get it, you were just venting.

i will send you a personal message on a website that shows where you can get some amazing fashions for boys!

Do you know how many of my friends can't have children? You are lucky to have one and a healthy one at that. Try to enjoy the fact that he can actually play with trains and trucks. Try to think less about yourself and more about your child and how you can be a better mom. I hate to be blunt but when you have children it's not about you anymore...

Thanks for being so honest-it is refreshing to hear a mom say that she isn't wild about every aspect of motherhood.
I have a 2 year-old son and sometimes I watch my friends' daughters with envy. They don't crash, throw, take apart etc. I've actually seen them sit in one place and play quietly with a toy for several minutes and not destroy ANYTHING.
Don't even get me started on trying to shop for cute little boy clothes amid the racks and racks of adorable frilly pink outfits!
Thanks for your post, and if longing for "girl stuff" makes you a bad mom then I'm guilty too!

Gasp! You actually admit you don't love every gross thing about your boy?! Just kidding, I'm sorry but your post made me giggle :D I have a 2 yr old boy, and coming from a family of three sisters, I have been constantly surprised how different they are. I'm not even super girly, I never wear pink or froofy stuff. But I also don't know how to make the right vroom noises or get excited about trains. Some days I just can't stand playing ONE MORE game of crash (this game has no rules, or even set pieces. It just involves crashing one thing into another thing, usually some part of my head.) So I can only imagine how you feel. I agree with the last poster, we are all still little girls at heart. So I just try to remind myself what I was like at 13. And I look at other mom's little girls and how high maintenance they are from day one, but at three it seems to be soo much worse. Boys are pretty low maintenance. I am greatful for that. I guess I will just have to get used to the farts and boogers and using my head as a spring board for his dinosaurs. :)

I know it's against the motherhood code, but I firmly believe that sometimes it's o.k. to feel this way and not feel guilty about it. That said, here are my suggestions. What do you and your son have in common? Can you introduce him to something you love that could be the activity you do together? For example, star-gazing, cooking (if you make it messy he will love it!), gardening, reading, bowling, tennis. Whtever it is, it needs to be active (boys need to be moving) and it needs to be fun for both of you. His memories will be of the special thing he and mom did together.

And no matter how you feel that day, a hug, a kiss, and an "I love you more than all the monster trucks in the world" go a long way when you've been in a bad mood.

You're not a bad mom. You're human.

I am a veteran mom of 2 boys - no girls here, and single to boot, I was on my own.... they are now 20 & 21, what I use to instruct my boys to do was to save "boy behavior" to when they were only with their male friends; girls didn't like that kind of stuff. I also didn't really get into playing with them, fortunately, they had each other. It's certainly ok not to be into his stuff, but not ok to tell him negative things about his interests. Simply let him know you are not a boy and you don't have the same interest in it. Then, put him around those with the same interests, little leagues, scouts, karate, whatever... but get him "playmates" that enjoy smash 'em ups. Remind him that loud noises do not belong in the house and that mom needs her girl time. Send him to a friends house to play or invite a buddy over for his boy time.

Nothing says "I love you" more than understanding and addressing the needs. And, the good news is that it doesn't have to be you that plays with him.

Don't feel bad. I have two boys (5 and 1/1/2) so I know how you feel. Just once, I'd love to have a tea party. I really like to do arts and crafts and my 5 year old hates it. Last time we did an art project together he said "Mom, why did you think this would be fun?" My suggestion is to find the things you like or can tolerate (I don't like to play trucks but I can handle building with blocks) or get him interested in things you like so you can do more of that and less of the really wild boy stuff. That way you can still spend time with him and not have to suffer. My son likes to help me bake and we read a lot and do puzzles or take walks when it's nice out. On the weekends, his dad will play trucks and Star Wars with him. Invite another boy over for playdates, too, so he can get his aggression out. It helps to find another mom friend who has boys, too. You can have playdates together and share the pain : )

So as a "girly,girl" mommy to a precious little man ....There will always be more girl stuff. Compare the men's section with the women's section in any store, it's always going to be that way.

I think as a society we put too much emphasis on "gender appropriate" things to do. We assume little boys play in the dirt and little girls play with dolls. But, I know a heck of a lot of girls that play in the dirt. But the truth is, little boys still need to be nurturing and caring toward others; it's not just something that only little girls are capable of. Any yes, I don't see you sitting down with your little boy to paint his fingernails, but you still can paint yours and he can help.or face paint, Or he can finger paint on a piece of paper, which could get a little messy =) I guess I'm trying to say, as a woman you may not find all this "boy stuff" appealing , but as a mommy you have a whole world to show him and it doesn't just have to be trucks, trains and boogers.

I read a book in college by Bell Hooks, " The Will to Change: Men, Masculinity and Love". I recommened it to any mommy of a little boy=)

Too funny! LOL, I know what you mean, I hate pink but I am happy I have a girl bc I cant wait for the dress up and the fingernails etc....but just bc you have a boy does not mean you have to be ALL boy. (unless he really wants to be, ) you can still cuddle,read, do puppets, dress up to some extent and yes you can play with dolls, after all he needs training to be a dad one day. I am not saying to force these things just have them around so he can switch it up every once in a while. I have boy and girl toys for my girl and yes she would rather hug a baby and stuff but we do put them in her truck, take them for a ride and then fix it with tools when it breaks down. you can try this to mix it up a bit. You are not a bad mom, we have have our preferences the best you can do is try to like I said mix it up. I think it is hard for all moms to do what their kids want all the time be it barbies or trains. and yes girls do have more clothing options, but boys do have some really cute stuff too: suits, dress shirts, fun hats and jackets. I agree and hate the typical gender stuff like why is my daughters school bus pink! when is the last time you saw a pink school bus??? good luck, you are not a bad mom, just honest.......and try to mix it up, my bff has a boy and he just loves his new kitchen set he got for xmas...after all monsters have to eat too, lets make monster stew.

I feel ya. I have two boys and am super tired of their wrestling and really, if I step on ANOTHER car, I feel like I'm gonna die. I have friends with girls and they are so calm! Oh well. Just know that I understand.
Also, what is with the peeing on the seat? Really? Gross.

Hello, my very girlie sister had one girl and three boys so dont feel bad. She has days just like the one you had. I understand that you love your son and that you were just having a day. ALL MOMS HAVE THEM. I have two boys that I always wanted (kind of a tom boy myself), but that doesnt mean that I dont have days that I feel out numbered in my house I have a girl dog thats it. Sooo that being said I totally understand and it will be ok. What I do when I want to shop for girlie things is shop for my neice (do you have family or friend that has a girl?). I like it when people are honest on how they feel.

It probably is PMS....
But good for you that you can be honest about it, because facing your feelings will make them easier to deal with.
All I can do is to encourage you to foster the softer side in your boys. In the long run we all want them to become caring men who can be good husbands and fathers. Think about those qualities and don't hesitate to get your sons a doll or pretend groceries. Have them help you cook and clean up. Pick other books than Thomas books and make some rules around not watching the same show all the time. There are plenty of good TV shows that attract both boys and girls and may be kinder on you! Boys need little toys too to improve fine motor skills and they need to color to get reading for writing. Open their horizon on other things to play with, and you will be much happier. It may not be pink, but you probably will settle for yellow too.
You are still the parent and have some choices what you want your child exposed to.

While yes it is nice to have a girl , just remember that girls can be tomboys so you may not necessarily get the pink/sparkly/glittery/princess girly girl anyway. I have a son , we went through the Thomas stage , the space stage , the dinosaur stage , I also have 2 girls and while the middle one does like to watch Disney princess and dress up , she also likes to play with trucks and dinosaurs and is ALOT louder and more rough & tumble than my son. Don't miss out on all the good stuff you can enjoy with your son because you long for something else , sons are great as are daughters and you may get your girl next time round. If your son is a hands on kid all day then try and introduce a plan of play , so that you both get some quiet time , I can see how bashing trucks all day every day would get to you.

Ahhh, the good mother/bad mother syndrome. We've all been there especially if you work full time and are trying to keep that balance at home. I can tell you that every mother gets tired. How often do you really want to play Candyland or Hide and Seek? Trust me, dressing up Barbie is highly overrated. Just because you have a girl doesn't mean that they want to watch Cinderella and paint fingernails. My youngest daughter wouldn't let you touch her hair, hated dresses and her favorite movies were Land Before Time. We all have bad days.

I have two girls and a boy. Fun stuff that they all liked to do - Finger painting in the bathtub, baking in the kitchen, Grow crystals with liquid bluing, homemade playdough with all the cookie cutters, treasure hunting for pennies, safaris in the backyard in search of beanie babies.

Good luck and enjoy every minute. They grow up so fast!

FIrst I have to say that Wendy was a little harsh, ouch!

I am finally pregnant with number two after almost two years of trying. I have a 4 year old girl and we recently found out we are having a boy. I am so thrilled to finally be having a baby, but on the other hand I cannot believe that it is a boy (although again, I am incredibly thankful to have another child). The person most upset about it is my daughter she is already talking about the next baby being a girl (after this pregnancy) and refuses to call the baby by a boy name only a girl name.. LOL

With that being said I found your question/comment to be hilarious because I secretly feel this way, but now after reading a lot of the comments there are going to be bright sides to a boy. I cannot even begin to tell you what a drama queen my daughter can be, she gets a tiny injection in her leg and can't walk for hours. She is whinny about so many things! Don't get me wrong I love her more than anything on earth. The clothing department and girl sections are great, except for the fact that there are so many adorable clothes that you cannot resist. Thank GOD I am having a boy because I don't have the urge to buy EVERYTHING I see, that is actually a blessing. Also trying to find the right tights to go with the skirt she's wearing, and the bows that match, the best cardigan to go with the outfit to keep her warm, not to mention the constant battle of doing her hair... She HAS to "help" with everything in the kitchen which normally leads to a huge mess. I cannot even begin to tell you how terrified I am that she will start dating when she is older. Girl's definitely have their quirks too!

You may not enjoy all of these things right now, but boys are truly a blessing and God gave you a boy for a reason. I am sure that you will come around with the toys, good luck and don't let it get you down =)

I agree with several of the ladies that posted. As Reace said, you are human, however once we have children it is not all about us. I have 6 children ranging in ages from 10 to 3 mos, and 5 of them are boys. I get tired of the noise occasionally, but I love having my boys, and would not trade them for anything. On the occasion that it becomes too much. I and my DH work it out so that I get a break. We homeschool, so I am part of a co-op, and we have mom's night out, park days, and fieldtrips where the children can play and I can be a girl. My one daughter and I will go do things together, just us. Boys will protect their sisters, eventhough they will occasionally fuss at each other. Boys are a blessing. Get your girl time, and spend time with your little boy. He is a gift from God.

Yep, Been there, Done that. I have two boys and have felt that "what am I doing in THIS world" feeling. Find a play group, and when you do you won't be surprised to find that most of the mothers there have boys! We all long for some girl time and girl talk and less movement! I belong to a Moms in Touch prayer group that I have been to since Elementary School and now college and most of us along the way have boys. Today is just a bad day for you and I have every reason to believe you will seek and find balance in your life..it will drive you to it:) You will come to appreciate boys like you never have before.. their explosions of expressions and then perfect calm and harmony and the sweetest expressions of love. Hang in there!

Having just had my third boy, I can totally relate. I have been "kidnapping" my niece for some much needed shopping time, she is only 18 months, but I LOVE to buy her clothes.

I am ok telling my boys (30 mo., 15 mo and 10 days),"Mommy doesn't like to play rough", or "You have to be gentle with mommy". I want my boys to treat women with respect and to know that their wife may be "girly" just like mommy. My 30 month old now comments on the color of my weekly pedicure ("Oh mommy I like the red on your nails") I let daddy do the wrestling and major aggressive truck playing. I love reading books with my boys, building block cities and playing at the park. We have a play kitchen and we cook together. When I play trains or cars, I make up stories about the people and have families and houses. We watch Cinderella (although I do admit his favorite part is when the Fairy God Mother uses her magic :-)

Do what you love to do with them and they seem to enjoy it too. Don't be too hard on yourself! I am sure you are a great mom. I am convinced I do not have to Love or even like all the things my children do (boy or girl). I just have to love them and they will know it.

(Oh also, I have to have my girls night outs in a house filled with testosterone! :-)

AWWWW! I can understand your frustration! I have two boys and sometimes I long for girly things too. My two boys are 2 and 5 months, so it's not so bad on most days, but I definitely have lots of loud noises and trucks crashing into walls! :) You are not rotten and it's totally ok to wish for the softer and gentler things in life...maybe your son will take up an interest in drawing or coloring (something more quiet and reserved) Good Luck! :)

I was a single mom of three, 2 girls and 1 boy. I had the opposite problem, growing up with three brothers. I loved sports and trains and legos...I had to learn how to be pink against my nature. I wanted my children to be well rounded so I bought trains for my girls as well as dolls and teddy bears for my son as well as GI Joe. They all took dance lessons as well as played sports. What's cool is that your son won't expect you to stop being a girlie girl just because he's a boy. My son didn't have a present father but there were male coaches, scout leaders and ministers who played an important part in his life as role models. The bottom line is that over time it gets easier and my adult son appreciates my nurturing side as well. You'll become his best friend. Son's as well as daughters are awesome. Blessings!

I understand! I live in a house for of males. (39, 11 & 7 1/2) I love to buy girl stuff of I just take advantage of shopping for my nieces. If I see clearance I will look and see if I can find anything that any of them will like.
Good luck and God Bless!!!

Hi, there~

I was in absolute shock when the ultrasound technician told me I was pregnant with twins. Ten minutes later when the neonatologist told me she was pretty sure they were both boys, I was in double shock! I already had a daughter so I was glad that was out of the way. Nevertheless, I was worried about what I was going to do with boys. It turned out that little boys were their own special joy that I never imagined in a million years. (Picture this: They used to play army, march around the yard singing and holding little flags on sticks. The upper level of the swing set was their fort. It was so adorable when they pulled up all sorts of ferns from the woods behind the house and stuffed the ferns into the slats on the sides of the upper area so their fort was camouflaged. Very imaginative.)

Anyway, I found that my little boys had a lot more in common with little girls than I ever expected. Mine liked to dance, sing, and shake tambourines & maracas to Disney music, and they loved to put on shows for us just like my daughter. Usually the shows involved music, singing and dancing.

They loved the toy kitchen with all the plastic food (male chefs?)--plus a cash register and a few plastic trays. In fact, little boys like to help cook just like little girls do. They also loved their plastic work bench. In fact, they tugged on my heart one day around 5 yo when they opened Daddy's tool box in the garage and were trying to take apart their bicycles. I looked at them and thought, "They're practicing being like their Daddy."

They loved their stuffed animals (and still won't let me put them away at age 11), and all 3 used a pop-up fire truck for a very long time. Most of the books we read weren't specifically for boys or girls so I wasn't forever making truck noises. (I even found that I really enjoyed the matchbox cars, probably more than they did. Did you ever see the VW van with the peace sign or the pop-up camper? adorable!)

All of the kids enjoyed playing with the Little Tikes farm with extra animals while one son really got into dinosaurs--plastic ones and lots of books. Instead of Polly Pockets, the boys enjoyed a knights and castle set immensely. The clothes were removable, etc. Same with Barbie/Ken-type dolls, i.e., firefighters, soldiers, etc., whose clothes could be changed. Instead of pocketbooks, they came with walkie talkies. Different, yes, but not too bad. All three, esp. one boy and my daughter, loved to play with Legos for hours of fun, albeit her houses had elaborate pools and more details.

One of the very best toys I had for my kids were two laundry baskets full of dress-up clothes. The boys enjoyed hats, scarves, clip-on ties, vests, old Halloween costumes, and even their sister's flower headbands and old dance costumes. They even liked getting their fingernails polished when they saw me or their sister having it done.

One of the other best toys they all loved were arts and crafts materials. Our whole dining was an arts and crafts room. (Now it's my jewelry designing room!) The boys liked coloring books, cutting, gluing, stickers, painting...you name it. The boys even made decorated Valentine's for school. Play-Doh was lots of fun, too, using a mini rolling pin, toy knife, small plastic cookie cutters, etc., etc.

I've said many times that little girls grow up to be big girls, but little boys grow up to be men. This is most likely one of the only tender, sensitive, and vulnerable times in their lives before they become whiskery, deep voiced, muscular, and all of the other typical stereotypes. Potentially, you'll never have more influence on any male than the influence you have in the lives of your little boys during their childhood years.

I hope this gives you some ideas and/or a different view. Just try to find some gender-neutral activities that you'll enjoy more, too. Don't beat yourself up. I'm sure plenty of mothers through the centuries have felt the same way. I found pushing kids on swings to be very boring and had a real aversion to tossing a ball over and over and over to kids who couldn't catch. Bad mother I was! LOL Good luck.

sister -- i think your vent was fair and refreshing. i am not a girly girl myself but have two boys and truly wish we had a girl. i did just fine with the boy stuff in early childhood (yes...monsters w/boogers were fine with me) and i love the sports (watching and playing). but as they get older I am baffled and sometimes frustrated by the video games and computer games and the wrestling that seem to have replaced arts & crafts and baking. sigh. god bless those boys but give a mom a break when she sighs over daughter time she may never get.

I echo the suggestion of Dr. Dobson's book. My mother bought it for my husband and I when our first of two little men came into the world and it was an appreciated and well used gift.

I could have written almost the same post a few days ago! It seems like little boys (or at least mine) don't know how to be still or quiet unless they are sleeping. Seriously, I just finished reading a book by a developmental psychologist that had a chapter titled "The Name of the Problem Is Spelled B-O_Y" It is so much worse in the winter when outdoor playtime is limited by the cold weather. I have gotten used to the Car movie toys and Thomas trains...but I would much prefer to sew doll clothes. I do try and get gender neutral toys especially since I have a younger daughter now. But the one doll he has he just ignores mostly (I hoped it would help him get used to his new baby sister when she was born last year but no such luck). I try my best to be fair and loving to both kids but it is so much easier for me to understand and connect with my daughter.

Hi C.,
Well, I was a tomboy and would NEVER be seen dead in PINK; well, until God blessed me with a lil' girl. Now I wear it with pride. I love the look of moms in active wear, with makeup and tennis shoes on......you can make it work. I love both my girls and I always thought I would have a boy----I think it would be fun to get a truck load of dirt dumped in the backyard and play army men....well, for a few minutes anyway. I have found that in general, stopping to just play is hard these days. So much else pulls for our attention. I will set the kitchen timer for 20-30 minutes and just play with my children. I find myself getting lost in their world and am bummed the timer dings. The timer allows me to relax and say NO to everything else---phone, email, etc. You don't have to like it.....just engage with HIM in it. I love the saying:

God does not give us children to make us happy, He gives us children to make us holy.

Boy is that true for me, even with my precious girls.

The one thing I bet you both have in common is CHOCOLATE....so out together and indulge a little....it may help you today.

I do not have a boy, but have three brothers... even though my mom had me I was not girly not matter how glittery the shoes. I now have a daughter and she likes pink and nail polish BUT her favortie toys the tools, trucks and trains. Now since I grew up running around with boys it was easier for me to play with the trains and so on. So even if you had a girl she may not have been the girly one you wanted.

With that if your son is old enough to be left alone to play for awhile then walk away and read a girly book, paint your nails do something that will help you regroup. Then find something that both you and he likes, maybe playdoh, does he have a play kitchen w/food or painting/coloring. In the end you have to let him be who he is and accept what he likes to play with.

Do you have any friends that have girls or family that has little girls? Maybe go shopping with them in the girls section or have them over for a nail painting party. I know that when I see a super handsome boy's outfit I will get it for a friends or familys child for a birthday or Christmas gift (I do not do this too often because we don't have a lot of extra money and I don't want the other people to feel bad if they did not get my child something).

:-) I too am not big on the boy stuff.. and thought I lucked out by having girls... turns out my 2 year old LOVES trucks, planes, trains, building and destroying, and the louder the better... When she DOES play with girly stuff it is always me who dresses the dolls (and redresses them dozens of times because she adores to undress them), and keeping fingernails painted is a daily chore because they are constantly chipping. She does love glittery shoes- but not dresses because she can't climb and slide as easily in them. Forget watching Cinderella, she likes Cinderella but isn't about to sit still long enough to actually watch it. When it comes down to it, having a girl simply doesn't gaurentee you quiet sweet play. I've learned to enjoy it for the most part (except when the baby is sleeping, I do wish play was quiet then) and appreciate her love for life and play.

Perhaps you could encourage gentler play with your son... buy books he's interested in (my daughter has great books on construcion equiptment and transportation), buy "boy" dolls and bears... even little boys like Build A Bear outings usually. Yeah his play is foreign to you, but it is possible to develop a liking for his little subculture, with a little patience and perhaps some good coffee. He'll definitly appreciate your efforts in taking an interest in what interests him, and you can tell him all about it when he has kids (maybe beautiful girly grandaughters for you that he'll need help learning to associate with!). Hang in there. Unfortunatly the time when they want us to play with them passes very quickly and they will push us away to gain independance, I'm afraid you and I will be missing those toys one day.

I agree- don't let all the rudness get to you! There were some poeple on some pretty high horses. I have a boy and a girl and I do love the girly stuff but I will say my boy is sweeter to me. Maybe it's because he's only 17 months and my daughter is almost 4. My daughter has the sassiest mouth sometimes- little girls definitely have attitude.

Hey girl! Don't let other moms make you feel crazy.! Every mom out there knows that all moms are CRAZY. I wanted a girl really bad.... and I got one. Now, some days I want to sell her to the gypsies. You are not rotten!!! You're honest and that's cool!!! Boys might be fun later when you get to make their girlfriends gifts or presents or homecoming mums. If it's just you, your husband and your son......then you get to be Queen C. and all the pink stuff is YOURS! :)

Haven't read your answers but mine is probably a repeat. I guess one could have gratitude that your boy doesn't like dresses, makeup and polish. That could be alot worse than the loud noises and aggression. :) Maybe you'll have a baby girl someday and you can do all those girly things. I hope so! My son was the typical aggressive little guy and it was such a shock after two girls. A whole new world and experience for me! Take care of yourself, sweetie! PMS does go away!

I'm right there with ya, C.! I feel the same way and I have 2 boys. Always wanted a girl, but God blessed us with two boys, go figure. I know God knows best, so I figure it's what I needed, even if it wasn't what I wanted. I would never trade them for anything, but I really don't want to play legos or transformers or trucks or trains, so I don't play with them as much as I should. Thank God they have each other (even if one's 5 and one's 7 mos- they still play together and will obviously get better at it as the baby gets older).

It's easier when I hear from my girlfriends about their daughters being extra clingy (boys are not so much, generally) and talking and talking and talking back. I know boys can and do have some of those same qualities, but not to the same degree.

Think of all the money you'll save on feminine products!!! Hee-hee!

my son was into thomas for FIVE years lol, every day, every tv show, every conversation was thomas.

at least people knew what to get him for his birthday!, yes i got tired of it, so one day i said lets give mama a makeover, i let him loose with my make up and nail polish - he thought it was so cool, he still to this day likes to do my make up for me - just coz he is a boy doesnt mean he wont like to do girl stuff - and he wont turn out gay!

Hi Chirstine, Vent away!!!
My only advice is don't buy just boy toys, you won't ruin your son's masculinity by exposing him to girly things, watch all age-appropriate kid movies no matter what the gender bias is, and don't assume if you had had a girl that there would be no rough and tumble play. I have a 6.5 yo daughter. She has a princess side, which she is out-growing, and she has a tom-boy side. She's tall, 95th-percentile, and when she does a flying tackle to hug me when I get home from work, believe me, I better brace myself!
I have never believed in girls toys and boys toys, that would have left out a lot of things I enjoyed playing with as a kid. Maybe it's because I have 2 younger brothers and no sisters. We used to dress my brothers up in girl clothes and make-up (just around the house) and my one brother LOVED to wear nail polish when he was around 4 or 5 years old. One time some man in the supermarket yelled at my mother for letting him go out in public with nail polish on, LOL. Anyway, no harm was done, for awhile both my brothers worked in the very macho fishing industry, and maybe they are better adjusted for their families because of the experiences.

Men shop, they cook, they raise families, so boys can play with all these toys (i.e. kitchen sets, shopping carts, dolls/doll houses, etc.), maybe not in a frilly pink color or with princess dresses, but you can buy toys that you can both enjoy. That being said, a lot of a child's likes and dislikes are innate, I don't know how old your son is, but it is possible that all he wants to play with are loud violent car-crashing toys, if that's true set up some playdates. But, if he expresses an interest in a toy kitchen, a doll, a doll house, etc., indulge him! It can only make him more well-rounded. As for clothes, I think you're stuck shopping in the boys department, but maybe if you get him some toys you enjoy, that won't seem as bad.

I feel since you posted here on an open forum that you opened yourself up for the good, the bad and the ugly. I agree with a lot of what has already been said. From my personal experience, GETTING and STAYING pregnant was a long long journey and I am so very grateful to have given birth to my son. Make the most out of what you got - becuase there are many that would do just about anything to be in your shoes. I have found so many cute things for boys at the Carters store and The Children's Place. It sounds to me like you are having a bit of a pity party for yourself - just my opinion and you can certainly take it or leave it. Practice some gratitude - it works wonders.

Wow - some pretty harsh responses to this question! For what it's worth, count me as one of the ones who thinks you're perfectly normal - and honest - for admitting that you're not into the boy stuff. I have 2 boys, with a third boy on the way, and I feel the same way. The kids know not to come to me with Transformers needing to be transformed, I'm not into video games, and it's highly unlikely that I'll be building with Legos (they're great, but they bore me). My husband handles all that. But we do have a toy kitchen, which both of my sons LOVE, as well as a shopping cart and cash register, so we spend lots of time playing restaurant or grocery store. We also play with lots of Little People sets (farm, carnival, Noah's Ark, pirate ship), which are gender-neutral, as well as arts and crafts, Play-do, and Mr. Potato Head. They've both been in Kindermusik since they were infants, so playing instruments together at home is another thing we do a lot of. They kids have done tumbling, t-ball, and tae kwon d because I want them to be well-rounded, but since my husband and I aren't athletic in the least, I'm not sure they have much of a chance at going pro. :-) Oh, and my kids (who are 5 and 3) have all the Disney Princess movies! I'll admit that they choose Scooby Doo or Cars over a princess movie 80% of the time, but occasionally they'll take pity on me and settle down to watch Cinderella. :-) Another mom suggested a mom's group - I'm not sure if you stay at home or work out of the home, but if you're at home most of the time, I highly recommend a mom's group, like MOMS Club. It will give you a chance to have adult (girly) conversations while your son plays the boy stuff with other boys!

I was hard on you and I am sorry, Please forgive me. = (
I learned my lesson.

Thanks for standing up to me, and no, everything is not perfect in my life and I would not say that it is.

When I said Shame on you, it was because it was hard to hear that you was saying HATE, DON'T LIKE, TIRED OF (things like that) about being with your son.

Sorry....

I am going to make some honest confessions here...I may deny them later but I hope that they may bring you a smile or some peace.
I have one sister...no brothers. My mom is from a family with 4 girls...they all had girls for many, many years. When my sister had a boy (she has a girl now too), none of us knew what to do with him! But he was the sweetest little snuggler that I thought changed my mind about boys.
When I had my daughter, looking back, I may have felt a bit smug. "Of course, I'd have a girl!" But when I found out I was pregnant with a son...I cried. Isn't that terrible?? How blessed to have a baby in the first place and then be "disappointed" that my daughter wouldn't have a sister?? I am embarassed and ashamed that I felt that way but it's the truth. But, I read up on "raising boys" and am steeling myself for the flurry of activity that is waiting for me (my boy is still little) but I will tell you...I am nuts about that kid. I love his little smile, I love how he grabs on to me when other people want to hold him and how he gently holds onto my hair when I am carrying him around the house. My daughter loves her daddy first and foremost, and I guess it is true what they say about mothers and sons? I feel now lucky to have a little boy and am looking forward to all he has to offer in the future.
Boy, those little girls sure can be divas too! :) The grass is always greener, I guess.

Listen to Reace! In the meantime have your girly day with your girlfriends why your little bruiser is with a babysitter. You are entitled to your feelings C.. That you are expressing them means you love your little boy. You don't have to play with his trucks. Leave that to him and his Dad or friends, but do your best to embrace the boy world! You will learn a lot.

Yikes! You got some harsh answers here! Ignore them =-) My goodness we all should feel secure in venting and not being judged. Right on to you for getting it all out!!

Anyhoot, I can’t relate with your situation but my sister-in-law sure can. She has 4 boys, the youngest being 6 months old. Yep she keeps trying for a girl because she is just like you! At the end of each day she thanks God for her 4 boys, but I know deep down she is sad that she does not have a girl. It’s o.k. to feel like this really and I KNOW you feel blessed. No one has to tell you that. He’s a beautiful extension of you!

You got some great suggestions from the other moms as to what you can play with you son and things you can get him involved in that will help. Try them and I’m sure you will feel better.

I haven't read all the responses that you are referring to, but I hope to not find myself on a soap box.

You didn't say how old your son is...mine is 22 months and fortunately for him, I'm not a girly girl, but I also don't only have "boy" toys for him. I think it is good to introduce them to a variety. Yes, we have hot wheels and fire trucks, but he also has two dollies, stuffed animals, pretend food, (a kitchen as soon as we can afford it) and princess books too. His favorite right now is sleeping beauty. We also have a house and tunnels that either he goes in and out of, or we join him and read together. Very unisex.

As the mom, you should be able to limit/mold the toys that he has access to. They don't have to all be so boy like. BUT, boys do seem a bit more aggressive, or maybe that is just the way we treat them. My son loves to bounce on me, but he cuddles too. Maybe take your son outside and run him a bit? I would also reconsider Thomas. My son doesn't watch TV yet, but I have been told by MANY people that Thomas is rude, and your son may be picking up something from that? I don't know how aggressive the cartoon is.

I would also suggest having playdates with another boy so that they can crash cars together to give you a break. Do remember though, a lot of this is about spending time and getting to know him, it might mean a bit of a sacrifice, but if he is loving cars right now, and wants to play with you, remember there will come a time when you will wish he would play with you.

Good luck, and maybe see if you can arrange a girls night out? That may be all you need.

Your post made me laugh. I am the girlyist girl ever too. No way did I take this post to say you weren't grateful.

well listen even if you had a girls the things you listed wouldn't have come right away. i have two girls, and was so excited to have girls. they're 5 and totally NOT into shopping. one may actually start liking it but the other one has no interest. painting fingernails takes 2 minutes. so i get a thrill out during those 2 minutes, but they are just as happy playing with cars.
i am not a girlie girl or a townboy, so i think i would have been just as happy with trains and trucks. but it takes time to get into all of it really.
PMS? maybe. maybe not. it's just how you feel. put a smile on your face and make some truck noises. doesn't have to be believable.

The pink stuff always bored me as I was growing up. I have a boy, but I always preferred boys toys. There's more to them than boogers and crashing. We have gone crazy with Legos and building toys. We did teddy bears and stuffed dinosaurs when he was younger and now that he's 11 we're doing indoor remote control helicopters. We're also getting into science toys like magnets and model catapults. We are also very big on reading. We started with Dr Seuss and we've gone on to read just about every wizard/dragon/magic/robot/volcano/dinosaur/firetruck book we can find. Sure there's gross stuff out there, but you can keep it to a minimum. And for toys that make loud sounds (if they don't come with a volume control), you can put stickers over the speaker areas to muffle it a bit.

I am the mother to 3 boys and a daughter who died at birth. I also long for doing hair, painting nails, playing with dolls and barbies, shopping for girly clothes, etc. I try to embrace being the mother of boys and realize God has choosen for this task. Try tom remember the benefit to having boys - Boys always love their mommies and always show affection towards their mothers and want to protect them - girls not so much.

I have a 2 yr old daughter...who LOVES trains & cars the BEST out of all her toys!! She also loves to whine! So having a girl is not necessarily all pink and fluff and fun. Does your son have a kitchen or a shopping cart, I have lots of friends with boys who have these things and maybe that would give you an outlet to play with him when you are tired of the trucks. (Believe me, I am TIRED of the trains that she wants to play with EVERY day!) Just take a moment to take a deep breath a remember how lucky you are to have a child, there are many people out there who can't.

Please dont think you are a bad Mom! Plenty of women feel the same way as you you just had the guts to put it out there!
Do any of your girlfriends have little girls or any of your family members? Maybe you could "borrow" one of theirs for "Girl Time". My sister-in-law borrows my daughter when she has finally reached her breaking point and my daughter loves it!. They go to lunch, go shopping, play tea party and do their nails.
Best Wishes!

I have 2 of each. Boys can be a handful and they are all about action. Girls are all mental from the day they enter this world. I love them all but sometimes I envy my girlfriend with 5 boys.
Take a mom break. Is there a friend he can go see for a bit? THen you go get your own mani and pedi and feel a bit girly.

it sounds like you need a girls day! get the girlfriends together, get a sitter, and go get your nails done!

on the other hand, try to be a grownup about it and see the positive. little boys are the best! you will never EVER hear a little boy squeal about a fingernail polish not matching! lol. and i'm sorry, but the "girl" in me absolutely melts everytime my little boy gives me kisses and hugs and tells me he loves me - my son is the sweetest little kid i've ever seen. when i am down or upset, he will love on me like syrup! and i just don't see that from little girls, they seem to be a little more self absorbed and sassy. i could be wrong! or maybe i just got lucky :) you don't say how old your son is. and i've never been a "true" girlie girl, never got into makeup and froofy clothes etc, but i was the "mama" in my family, always had to have my baby dolls and barbies. but for the first two years or so of my son's life, yes, i did think the boy toys were fun and i loved playing with him with them. they were totally different from any toys i played with as a child! so it was interesting. now i have kinda gotten over that, i'm not as thrilled, but #1, he has learned to play by himself more (and we do other things together, like crafty stuff, cooking, playing WII...) and #2, like i said, our relationship has gotten so much more loving and demonstrative, i get my "girlie" feelings from that. being girlie is more than frou frou stuff, but i can see why you'd miss that. hope you get your girl someday! it's probably not in the cards for me - so i have to take my girls days when i can get them! :)

I'm a girly girl with 2 boys and I don't like playing with trucks, I can not transform a Transformer, and I don't like getting dirty. So, I leave that to my husband and I do things with my boys that are more gender neutral like reading books, playing board games, drawing and coloring, Play Dough, sidewalk chalk, cooking, etc. While I might miss playing with dolls buying girl's clothes, and polishing toenails, I feel so blessed that God has given me 2 happy, healthy little boys who love me more than anything. I'm sure you feel the same and are just having one of those days! Good luck!!

This made me laugh!

It is hard getting used to boys. I understand what you are saying. Girls are so much more fun to buy for and we can more easily relate to their type of play, its true!

Without boys I would never have heard "I love you more than baseball and dirt bikes"!

Have you got to the stage where your son puts everything in his pockets? Makes doing laundry interesting...rocks, train spikes, string cheese, pine needles, part of a plastic frog...these are just a few of the fun things I've encountered while doing my sons' laundry:)

Karma
Mom to 4 boys, who was (and still is) thrilled to finally have a girl!

Should have adopted. But let me tell you as a mom of 2 girls. they are not quiet, nice, sweet, clean nor gentle. They are just as bad as boys and drain me everyday. I call them dirt princesses, we go outside next thing you know they are rolling in the grass and making mud pies. They like princess dresses but destroy them fast with playing rough and let me tell you they can destroy a house in heartbeat. Makeup is their fav since they can draw on your walls with lipstick and eyeliner! Nail polish is tough to get out of carpets Girls are not anything diff than boys lol mine dont play baby dolls nor barbies.
Appreciate what you have cause its your baby and teach that youngin how to treat the ladies right and love what you have. make the best man you can out of him.

And you could have girls that whine, scream at the top of their lungs too. All I can say is count your blessings. Children are here to teach us. We can learn that they are analistic and they are creative and they can figure out things we are not so incline to understand. Love what God has given you. All that glitz girl stuff will also spoil any child and you end up with temper tantrums and not nice children. God gave us children to teach us as we teach them but also they teach us the lessons. God Bless G. W

lol! I have to admit I was the same way. I already had the tutu picked out that I was going to buy my little one when I found out I was having a boy! I agree, the toys aren't the best and shopping is almost impossible with the 2 options for boys vs the 10000000 options for girls.
My sisters (and sister in law) have 6 girls total (no boys except my little man in our family) so I can buy them cute stuff, but I do have to admit- my little guy cuddles more than all of them combined, and they always say how they wish their little girls would cuddle! Mine is 15 months and from what I have heard from others with boys, they are much easier to raise in the long run (think boys high energy vs girls who are high maintenance.) Im even hoping my next is a boy so that my little guy has another boy to play with! I guess I will just buy the cute frilly dresses for my nieces!

There really isn't anything that I can say that hasn't already been said. I have a girl and a boy. I will admit that I wanted another girl because I didn't have a sister and wanted so much for my daughter to have one. Silly probably but it's what I wanted. I Love Love Love my boy. He is way easier than his high maintenance sister, who BTW, refuses to wear bows or barrettes and insists on dressing herself in the clothes that SHE picks out. If I actually get accessories in her hair they are out by the time we make it to the car. Both of my kiddos have trains, dump trucks, dolls, and love to play in the blue kitchen. I Love Love Love my girl too. They are different but very much the same. They both like cuddles, and time with mommy and daddy. I'm sure it's just PMS. Give your little guy a brush and let him brush your hair. He'll probably pull it some too.