My 3 1/2 Yr Old Is Obsessed with Lining Things up and Making 'Piles' of Things

My youngest loved to stack and get things as tall as he could. This would be a good year to buy the large "wood blocks".
Try not to label him just yet, he's only 3, they do weird stuff.

As a kid, my favorite thing to do was make parades. I would make lines of my toys that circled the room, usually playing my favorite song on my 45 record player over and over and over. On the other hand, baby dolls puzzled and didn't really interest me. Every kid is different. Don't stress about it too much.

OH MY GOSH, my daughter (nearly 3) does this CONSTANTLY! And she doesn't have Aspergers or anything for that matter. She just LOVES making "towers" out of stuffed animals, kitchen toys, books, pillows, blankets, etc. etc. etc. She's been doing this for a long time and yes it kind of makes me crazy but I've gotten used to it. She also likes to collect things in small containers, a cup, purse, bowl or whatever and she'll carry it around for days and take it all out, put it all back in. I think it's just the age and if you look on the bright side, you're not having to spend a lot of $ on toys, right? Because they'll play with anything. =)

From what I understand from friends with children with Aspergers - this is pretty typical - lining things up in size order, etc. In general, kids this age like to categorize stuff - it's part of the brain's developmental process. My son, who is not affected by Aspergers will build things and create things that stay in place for weeks and months. He made a huge ferris wheel that stayed on our computer cabinet in the living room for about 6 months. He used to make lego-duplo "robots" that he'd line up for battle. Eventually I bought him trays so he could make his line-ups on the trays and then we could carry the tray back to his room. Now at 11 he still uses the trays to make other lego creations and that way it's all portable - so he can hang out with the family while he's creating and then take it back to his room. My mother used to have to vacuum around my brother's creations too as I recall.

If you suspect he has mild Aspergers or any other developmental issue you should have him evaluated right away. In NY they will evaluate at age 3 for early intervention services. Not sure if that's a state thing or a federal thing. I think that there is a federal regulation about requesting evaluation - if you submit a written request to the school district they must respond within 60 days. My son got services for speech and for help "attending" (he was diagnosed with ADHD a few years later) from the time he was 3 1/2 and I truly believe it helped enormously. It gave him a leg up when he needed it.

Sorting and lining things up is pretty typical for preschool children. Asperger's isn't so much about these behaviors... you want to look for cognitive rigidity, black-and-white thinking, difficulty with social interactions, diffculty with cognitive shifting.

I'm not sure who mentioned Asperger's to you or if this is an assumption you are making, but if you have concerns you should have him evaluated. Pleae be aware that at his age, most psychologists will be hesitant to make a differential diagnosis b/c toddlers/preschoolers are "atypical" by nature.

I would suggest hitting the library and checking out some books on managing your child's anxiety and behavior. You have to really try some proven strategies (like daily schedules with structure, time warnings and other behavior mod techniques) with minimal success before the doctors will say it is something neurological. The reason I say this is that you imply that your household is a little chaotic and he may be looking for some structure within that environment.

I would also suggest enrolling him in preschool a few days per week and see if the behaviors are present there as well (if you haven't done so already).

My son has high functioning autism. He's now 7 but when he was that age, he pretty much did the same thing. Once we started ABA therapy and taught him new play skills during our sessions, he started attaching imaginative play to his favorite toys that he once piled up. Part of his therapy also speficially target tolerance and frustration levels for him. We have the best consultant and tutors for him (if I were a millionaire, I'd pay them what they're worth!) who really have helped him a lot this way.

Since you have indicated that your son may have Asperger's, he may not need ABA but he may benefit from some form of structured play therapy to help him learn how to attach sound and imaginative play to his toys so that are not just big piles all over the house. If they do it right, they will also work with the give and take skills of social interaction and play.

Hope this helps. Have a good Thanksgiving weekend.

This might have soemthing to do with his Aspergers........be sure to mention it when you get him tested. Can you buy him some lincoln logs or tinkertoys and let him have an area to "stack"........maybe in his room......let him stack where ever and whatever he wants from there.....

Good luck and take care. Happy Thanksgiving as well.

My son is 8 and has Aspergers/ADHD, and never went through the stage of lining up toys. It was definitely a question on one of the assessments, though, along with "plays with toys inappropriately".
At that age, we bought him a small inflatable school bus. He used this as his building, and it was easy to bring out or put away. He liked to play restaurant with other kids, pretending the steering wheel was a pizza. The school district tested him at age 3, said nothing was wrong with his behavior, and did not suspect that he had Aspergers until age 5. At age 8, he likes to build habitats for pillbugs out of legos(I don't like having them in the house), and anything with gears or electronics.

My suggestions are make the rules more specific. You can build in this room, with these toys, and the building can remain for 2 days only. You could even make up a "building permit" or show him on a calendar. Find out if giving him warnings of how much time is left helps make the transition easier. After that, the chairs need to go back to their job of being chairs. Challenge him to build something different than the last time. Can he pretend the building is a tent for camping, a car dealership, or a barn for horses? Can he tell you a story about it? Would he be less sad if you took a picture of it?
One of the books I read about Aspergers(sorry, I can't remember the name of it) said there are like 6 different "types" of Aspergers. It gave them names like "logic boy" and "rule boy". I don't know if it was the same book, but they had a strategy for working with kids who are stuck on perfection. They would practice with them on "being OK" with a lego model that was missing a piece, or having to color a picture with a broken crayon instead of a new one. Over time, they learned to stay calm when things were less than perfect.

This is a sign of Aspergers/ and the autism spectrum. You just have to give him his own space to do his thing (possibly his room) and give him limits on what he can 'play' with. The Tupperware would be off limits. Explain that after a reasonable amount of time he has to take the pile down , but, he can make a new one later. If the pile /lines etc. ,.. are in his room you might allow them to stay a little longer as opposed to say, the living room or kitchen, where safety is an issue. I would take him as soon as you can to be fully assessed to see to where his falls in the Autism Spectrum. It will be helpful to you , to be better able to help him . It will also provide you with some insight for the future and what you can expect. Having said that , there are some great organizations to help you along the way. Best of Luck, C. S.

My now 27 year old son did that. His biggest obsession was his hotwheels. I never EVER saw him play normally with a toy car. He would spend hours lining them up front to back in a perfect line. if one got knocked out of line, he would go back and straighten it up. He was actually diagnosed with OCD when he was 13. He is not on meds for it, and for the most part it is not something that interferes with his everyday life, just when there is a stressing event it comes out.

Maybe it's just a normal developmental stage for all kids. My DD did this and she has no issues now at 13. My nephew who is 24 also did the same things with his toys. No issues there. And my little nephew does it now. Just noticed it last night when he lined up all his cars. He's 3. I'm not sure it's an indicator of anything.

Contact your Regional Center and have him evaluated. Getting him diagnosed either way, and getting him any help he needs is the best thing you can do early on.
If it's nothing, they'll tell you, and perhaps give you some parenting techniques to cope with the "quirkiness", i.e. setting rules, directing his play, etc.

my friends child does similar things. he was diagnosed with a sensory processing disorder. he goes to occupational therapy and she is being taught how to deal with it. This doesnt mean your child is on the spectrum so have him assessed so you can begin helping him through this. It is extremely hard on them too. By chance does he sleep a lot? The 2 kids i know t hat have this sleep a ton. I guess its because their brain is so stimulated through the day they need a lot of time to process the information. Good luck!

I can't be sure if it is Asperger's/Autism but if it's as extreme as you say it is, to the point where it's really disruptive to your household and he doesn't seem interested in playing any other way, I would have him evaluated. I will say though that my 3 year old plays this way a lot too. She's constantly stacking and constructing things out of blocks, pillows, and random toys, and calling them her "towers", or "big buildings", or "a fun place" (pillow forts). She hates it if it falls or gets torn down prematurely but she doesn't keep them up for days on end either. And she plays with other toys in a normal fashion. We figure maybe she will be an engineer or architect some day. I guess it might be up to a professional to decide. DD likes to line up toys too, like crayons or game pieces to make a "bridge", or all her rubber duckies on the side of the tub.

he's building things momma, although i'm not familiar with the aspergers that your talking about, he's still building things....maybe get him building blocks and tell him THIS you can use for building, but it needs to come down every night before bed time, etc??? maybe that'll help

My youngest son is somewhere on the spectrum - maybe Asperger's, maybe not...I'm at the point where I don't even care if they call him "purple with green speckles" as long as he gets the services he needs. I have been in an embroiled showdown with our local school district along with other parents of kids on the spectrum and one thing has become more and more clear to me; if you've met one child on the spectrum, you've met ONE child on the spectrum. They are all so individually unique and quirky in their own rights. I recall that my son too had a difficult time taking things apart that he had created. Transition and change are tough for these kinds of kids. We do know that there are similar traits or "ways of being" that can be similar in our children, but each displays it to a differing intensity and in different areas or ways. In his mind, it seems that this "order" he is creating is important for whatever reason. My questions to you is, what psychological services is he receiving? It can be that our kids become compulsive about certain things and it might be that he can "work through" some of this through a therapeutic process. Our kids can be so rigid and things that would not bother neuro typical children can send ours into a melt down as you probably well know. Having a child on the spectrum can indeed distrupt parts of system and can be maddening. Just know that while I have not experienced the exact same thing, I can relate.

I think a big key to parenting is recognizing each individual child and their needs. I love all my kids but recognize that they all have different needs and relate to them different. Even if your son does have asperger's syndrome he will be a very intelligent child and you should read all you can to enrich his differences. I work on a special needs school bus and find it very interesting to relate to each individual child. Most kids have a certain quirk that can be brought to life and the children get so excited! For the most part this is pretty common behavior for a child that age but seems a little more intense then my children ever played. That does not mean it is wrong but different. Maybe you can buy him certain things for him to organize and play with.

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I think a big key to parenting is recognizing each individual child and their needs. I love all my kids but recognize that they all have different needs and relate to them different. Even if your son does have asperger's syndrome he will be a very intelligent child and you should read all you can to enrich his differences. I work on a special needs school bus and find it very interesting to relate to each individual child. Most kids have a certain quirk that can be brought to life and the children get so excited! For the most part this is pretty common behavior for a child that age but seems a little more intense then my children ever played. That does not mean it is wrong but different. Maybe you can buy him certain things for him to organize and play with.

Kids do naturally sort and pile and this is the age that they are learning this skill. It could be nothing but maybe he is a bit OCD.