Hi D.,
If there is nothing wrong medically with your daughter, she will not voluntarily starve herself. I am always inclined toward checking with the doctor or advice nurse if I am worried about my daughter's eating. My daughter is tiny (14 months and 18.5 bs) but she is loaded with energy, walking, sleeping ok, climbing, and otherwise healthy, so she is fine. I just keep offering her things.
My lactation consultant, Tina at Kaiser, is awesome. She has shared with me great info and resources about eating and feeding all through my daughter's life (my baby is now 14 months). She told me about a great book by Ellyn Satter, "Child of Mine....Feeding with Love and Good Sense". I have had many years in recovery myself around food issues and I loved breastfeeding because it was such a no-brainer and my daughter was completely in charge of the what, when, and how much. Starting solid foods was a challenge because now there were all these decisions which involved me and I wanted my daughter to have a sane and healthy, pleasurable relationship with food. Ellyn Satter's expertise feels really good to my heart and has been very helpful in all areas of feeding my baby-turned-toddler.
In a very small nutshell, Ellyn recommends that you are responsible for what you offer and when you offer it and where you offer it; your baby/toddler is responsible for how much and whether. I like this idea that she calls shared responsibility...it replicates the dynamics of breastfeeding with solid food. Keep breathing and keep offering!
I have found this woman's expertise to be very helpful in navigating learning to feed my daughter. Surprise benefit is how much it is also helping me with my own eating! I was dismayed to be in charge of feeding a little person when I haven't been so much of a role model myself at times. I hope this helps you. It can be frustrating and confusing.
L. M.
Novato