How Do I Get My 13 Month Old Son to Eat Food?

My, now 3 year old, was exactly like that. We went through so many outfits each day. What we did is backed off of the forcing him to try things and fed him what he liked. We let him self feed, meaning put food on his tray and let him play with it, try it, spit it out etc, at his pace. We kept putting the same food on the tray and eventually he ate it, a little at a time. He is getting enough nutrition, especially if you are still breastfeeding. Give him whole milk in a sippy cup also. It is a phase, he will eventually eat, I know it is frustrating, but he will grow out of it. Just keep trying. (My 3 year old neice will only eat macaroni and cheese right now, which is a swith from just eating peanut butter and jelly sandwich's) Once one phase is over, it is on to another. Good luck

Hi L.,

As a Lactation Consultant, mom of 23 yrs and one who has a degree in child development I STRONGLY advise you to NOT reduce the breastfeedings at this time. What the other 2 posters do not realize is that you will be taking away his MOST important source of nutrition while he is learning to figure out what he likes and does not like with solids. Your concern for his nutrition is valid - taking away the breastfeedings will compromise that and not only that you will end up in a battle of wills with a baby - and NO ONE wins in those situations.

Here are some much more age appropriate ways to encourage your son to eat solids. First: STOP forcing any bites of any kind. Offer the food. If he doesn't want it that is OK. When we get into a power struggle with adults what do we get? Miserable people who do not like each other. When we get into a power struggle with babies we get a no-win situation with both parent and child being miserable and the child WILL refuse to eat - which of course is the last thing you want. By trying to 'do the right thing' by getting in to such power struggles, we can inadvertently cause serious feeding issues. We don't mean to... I know this from personal experience...

Second: Ditch the baby food. Stick to things that are 'real' food - things you are eating that are a bit softer, or easily mushed up in baby's mouth. Take food off YOUR plate if you have to - give him a little of this and a little of that and let him decide what he wants. Let him be in control - you will have much more success this way. Trust me! And, you won't be having any of those potentially harmful power struggles. If he eats - he eats.

Make sure you are offering foods when everyone else is sitting at the table and eating - he is learning by watching. If everyone else is enjoying their meal, it is much more likely that he will too. :) Keep it FUN. No stress at mealtime please! Then no one is happy. Remember, he has YOU for nourishment right now, thank goodness!

YOU are very important right now - YOU give him the ability to take his time to adjust to this new experience while adequately maintaining his nutritional intake. You are one powerful lady to be able to do that! :)

Lastly, babies are PICKY. :) This is NORMAL. Annoying - but normal. They will like one thing for days then suddenly HATE it! Who knows why? Trust him to do what he needs to do with solids in HIS time. If you take away the stress, and the forcing of bites you will allow him to relax and enjoy trying new things - not all of which he will like the first time. Just keep taking foods off your (especially if that is what he is wanting) and put them on his and let him work it out. Some kids just aren't into solids until a bit later (like 15 months or so) and while this is not common, it does happen - and is OK provided you are offering solids. When he is ready, and he is not pushed he will suddenly take off like crazy eating everything in sight! Trust me on this one...been there, lived it!

Finally, I would encourage you to think about one very important thing: What does it feel like when you try to force your baby to eat things he doesn't want to? Is it fun? Does it feel good? How does your mommy heart feel? How would you feel if you were in HIS shoes and someone was forcing you in the same manner?? When we step back and put ourselves in the kids shoes, we can suddenly recognize that perhaps there is a gentler way - a way that we would be OK with too...and it is fascinating how quickly the power struggle ends and all is well when we stop fighting and start allowing.

Hang in there - you two will get through this, he WILL eat fine when HE is ready. Trust him...his body knows what it needs...ditch the stress and enjoy. It really is a lot more fun that way!

Warmly,
J. Simpson, IBCLC, CIIM

www.breastfeedingnetwork.net

Try reading Child of Mine by Ellyn Satter. That book reassured me about children/babies and eating. It basically says that if you offer an array of healthy foods, your baby will eat what he needs.

I agree with Jennifer. My first kid was like that. He was a very picky eater. With the other two, I would put them in the high chair and let them stick feed them selves. They of course would make a mess. but they were eating. I didn't give them anymore baby food at all at 13 months I gave them what ever I was eating.They didn't like baby food at that age. I just cut them up in small pieces so they can eat it like finger food. I would give them a good variety of differnt types of food. Like meat, rice or noodles and some sort of veggie. Good luck and hang in there. I know how frusterating it is to have a picky eater.

I second the rec for Ellyn Satter's books. "Child of Mine, Feeding With Love and Good Sense" was a *huge* help in relieving my worries about feeding my twins. For example, one thing I learned was that it's totally common/normal for babies/toddlers to refuse a food item for up to 20 times before they even allow you to leave it on their plate and maybe another few times before they decide to taste it. Since our common 'parent response' is to assume they just don't like that particular item (instead of recognizing that the child wants to try it on his/her own timing, not necessarily on mom/dad's timing), we too quickly move on to something else and strike that item from our list of things baby will eat. She advises parents to keep offering a variety of healthy foods and more or less leave it up to the child to taste when ready- if we can be less anxious/worried about our babies' eating, chances are they'll be more relaxed too.

Also just a thought - one simple thing I did with my twins that they enjoyed was to use small cookie cutters to cut shapes out of things like toast or cheese (you can save the scraps of cheese in a tupperware and use for things like quesadillas). Sometimes adding a little "fun factor" to a meal makes it more appealing to little ones.

Reduce the breastfeeding. You just have to be stronger than he is. My son is in the process of weaning as well and I don't nurse him during the day more than twice. Most nursing is during the morning and evening times. Other than that he's on human food. WHen they get hungry they eat.

Your son could also have an issue with the texture of the solid food you're offering. My friend's daughter is now 12 and still cannot eat things like applesauce or yogurt without gagging and throwing up. She started cutting things really small and cooking things really soft but not mashing and her daughter did better.

Kids can eat and "chew" things without teeth. My daughter was on solid food completely before she got her first tooth at 14 months of age. It amazed me sometimes to see thoroughly she "gummed" her food before swallowing!

Our daughter was a reluctant eater--- unlike you, I stopped breastfeeding at around 11 months so we were feeding 100% formula at around one year and she was just not that interested in solids. It changed all of a sudden and wow! she went for solids in a big way. What we did is that we consistently offered stuff for her to try, but never forced her to try anything. I found Ellyn Satter's books very helpful to support us in this! Our daughter especially loved finger foods; her first favorites included pear chunks (small) and plain tofu.

With our second child, I hope to breastfeed until age 2, and we're just starting to introduce solids at almost 7 months. I see no reason to reduce breastfeeding to encourage solids based on my experience that babies will switch to solids when they're ready! I truly do not believe that anything related to eating should be a power struggle-- if this sounds right to you, you may also enjoy Ellyn Satter.