My 2 Year Old Is Biting at School - Help!

First the teacher doesnt mean a dog chew toy! When I had a biter in my class I gave her a toy she could bite when she got upset of frustrated and yes it did help.

Been there, and I know how frustrating, painful, embarrassing the situation is. Our son bit regularly from before age 1 to age 2, when he was finally asked to leave the daycare (yep, expelled from a school before age 2...). We then found an in-home daycare with only a few children, and he never bit again [I'm not saying that's what you should do, just sharing our experiences and how our situation was resolved].

I say ditto to Leslie D's and the others' suggestions. You and the daycare staff need to develop a common plan for responding to a bite, so your son gets the same message in every context. It definitely doesn't sound like a teething thing, since you have seen him do it when he is frustrated, so a chew toy isn't going to help. Sharing your observations with them and putting a plan in place should help...Ultimately, remember that this phase, like others, will pass. I've never met an adult (even a teen) who bites when frustrated! Good luck with it.

you can't make him stop when you're not there. pre-verbal littles just instinctively do what they feel they must to get their point across. that doesn't mean you abdicate guidance, of course, but don't feel as if you're failing in some way because you can't magically control his behavior. first off, ask the teacher what SHE does when it happens, and how you two can work together to encourage him to use words instead of teeth. let her know that you ARE working on it (i know it's frustrating for you that she's just complaining, but bear in mind that she's probably working with a ton of parents who DON'T work their kids on this sort of thing) and what you're doing. and listen to her advice. the chew toy comment might be offensive, on the other hand it might be something she's actually had success with.
enlist her help. and don't let her put you on the defensive. stay calm and reasonable with her, just as you would with your mini-vampire<G>.
good luck, mama!
:) khairete
S.

Could it be both? His frustration level is already pretty high BECAUSE he is teething, and when something that normally won't push him over the edge happens, he acts out by biting? My two year old's teething goes in waves, sometimes lasting weeks at a time. He's really verbal and is excellent at communicating his needs...except when his gums are raging, and he turns into a little snapping turtle. What about alleviating some of the teething pain, and seeing if that, in turn, ends the biting?

I'd be mad about the chew toy comment.

There is not much you CAN do if you are not there when he does it. The question is - what is the teacher doing?

Kids this age bite. My son was the biter. He bit when frustrated. At daycare, one of the teachers was always next to him during transition times, when he was most likely to bite. If he DID bite, he was told, "No, biting hurst" an he was immediately sent to time out, and the "bittee" received lots of sympathy and attention from the teacher. The teacher showed my son the bite mark he had made, how sad his friend was, and had him apologise. They then talked about other things he could do INSTEAD of biting - words he could use.

At home, I did the same thing, if he bit. I also talked to him on evenings that he bit, and talked again about words he could use instead of biting.

The good news is that your son will grow out of this phase evenutally. Don't feel bad about it - and talk to the teacher about what HER plan/procedure is for biting.

I agree, the term "chew toy" is not appropriate. If teacher thinks that it is a teething issue, then she's dumb. Most kids this age (and you can agree that your son is this way) bite out of frustration - not knowing how to properly vocalize their frustration or fix what's bugging them. They bite to resolve their problem (the kid took their toy, the other boy didn't listen, your son doesn't want to obey/transition to next activity).

Find out what the teacher is doing about the biting at school, or what their procedure is. Find out what is happening WHEN the biting occurs. Be consistent together, having the same consequences/phrases when he does bite (ie, no biting, only kisses, then time out) and both of you do the same procedure consistenly so that your son will learn quickly that biting is not okay.

WIsh I had more for you. My son bit once at church, but he was 3.5 yrs old and I think explaining a proper way to communicate your frustration would be hard to do with a 2 yr old.

Hi C.-

I would not take too much offense regarding the chew toy comment. Likely what the teacher was trying to suggest was to help show him things he CAN bite!!

I would perhaps send in with him a bag of 'his' things he CAN bite to assist them...ex...an apple...a washcloth...a teething ring...The trick is for the caregiver to observe your kiddo...and see what 'triggers' a bite...THEN offer him words...telling him biting hurts...AND THEN offering things that are appropriate to bite. Sort of a 3 pronged approach...that, and re directing him before something triggers the biting...

This is luckily just a phase that many kiddos go through...and I am sure the teachers are frustrated...especially if your kiddo is biting the same kiddo each time (cause that parent is getting frustrated).

Show the teachers your are willing to work 'with' them...but as you rarely have this issue at home, it is difficult. If it continues, ask the director to go in and do an observation...

Best Luck!
michele/cat

Please google chew time and the possibility of getting him something to chew on. Even eating foods that require lots of chewing is a good thing too. His jaw will be tired and the urge to bite/chew will be less and the habit will be less and less then eventually it will be gone.