I had a little girl on the 30th of May and have been breastfeeding her since then. I am a school teacher so have had the summer off and have been breastfeeding on demand. My husband works nights so in order to give them some bonding time together he would give her a bottle (of formula)twice a day-once when he got home in the morning and again before he went to work at night. I would also give her a bottle whenever we were out in public instead of breastfeeding. Anyway, this past Monday I had to attend a workshop for the day. It was my husband's day off so he took care of our daughter. I breastfed her before I left that morning and left her asleep. He said she slept for awhile and when she awoke, he changed her and offered her a bottle. She would not take it. Instead she spent the whole morning crying till she fell asleep (from about 10 to 11). He asked me to come home at lunchtime so I could breastfeed her, which I did. Again I left her asleep and again when she awoke he offered her another bottle and again she refused it and cried for over an hour. Tuesday we had an appointment with our pediatrician and she said to let her cry and keep offering her a bottle. Eventually she will take it because she will be hungry and will realize that she won't be getting breast, she said. Well so far it hasn't worked. She can cry for more than an hour and just fall asleep from exhaustion, but will not drink from the bottle. We have tried different kinds of bottles (Munchkin, Born Free, Playtex Advanced, and Playtex Drop Ins) but I don't think that is the problem. She also will not take a pacifier so we can't soothe her crying with that. I don't like to hear her crying for an hour, so I am asking for help from other mothers. Any advice would be appreciated or should I just suffer through the crying with her? I really need her to drink a bottle because I go back to work on the 17th. I unfortunately can not afford to be a SAHM. Thanks in advance for your help.
Thank you all for the great advice. Just to let you know, I have tried pumping before without much success. I don't produce a lot of milk which was why I was supplementing with formula. This weekend I pumped and offered it to her in the bottle, but it didn't matter, the second she felt the nipple on her tongue she threw a fit. All of these bottles are ones we have been using since she came home from the hospital (over 2 months now.) She took a bottle the night before her refusal started, which made it more odd as to why she would refuse one less than 24 hours later. Anyway, we have been trying all weekend and each day the crying is less. Today she cried for maybe a minute or two and then took the bottle, drank a bit, stopped to cry some more then finished it. I hope it only gets better with time. I am going to try to keep on pumping and mixing it with the formula as suggested. It was also suggested that maybe I take a year off, I sure wish I could but I am the major breadwinner in our family so that is not possible. I am lucky I delivered at the end of the school year because I was able to spend more than 6 weeks at home with her before going back to work. Luckily my mother-in-law will be taking care of her when I am at work so I know she will be in good hands when I am gone. Thank you again ladies for all the advice.
Some babies will also refuse frozen breast Milk I have no idea why except the smell can change when it has been frozen. baby's have a very strong since of smell.Breast milk stays good in the refrigerator for 3 days. You can use the frozen to mix with rice cereal when she gets older.
I would do what the doctor says. I know it is annoying but she has to some time take the bottle. G. W
Wow-that sounds stressful. I'm not a fan of crying, but I can understand feeling like you just don't know what to do. My daughter gave us a hard time with the bottle as well, although she did take a pacifier. We had Born Free bottles to start, and she would only drink an ounce or two at a time. I decided to try other bottles and chose one with a nipple that was the complete opposite of the Born Free and went with Dr. Brown's. If, by chance, your daughter is refusing based on "it doesn't feel right" then you might look into bottle that have different nipples. Dr. Brown's are skinny and longer. Adiri's are kind of different than many others also. I know you don't want to spend lots of $$ trying every bottle out there, but perhaps a few more tries might help. Also, maybe she doesn't like the formula? My daughter refused one completely. Good luck! I hope things turn around soon!
Hi,
My daughter did the exact same thing at the same time. I was getting ready to go back to work and she was 2 months old. I tried lots of different bottles and my husband gave her them, but to no avail. For us, it was a matter of time and effort on my husband's part, and a few friends watching her too and offering her a bottle. It killed me to hear her cry while I knew I could help her! It was awful. But I had to go to work so - my husband would take her in another room (sometimes I left for a little while) and he would offer the bottle while singing and kind of bouncing her around and then he used spoons. He thought the spoons kind of helped getting something down her and she would think, mmmm, milk!! And then my friend took her while I went to the gym and my baby cried for awhile, but then took the bottle. And, then one day, she quietly accepted the bottle from my mom while I was out at the hairdresser. We also told our daycare ahead of time, and they reassured us that we need not worry - they had experienced it before and felt confident they could give her a bottle.
Like I said, it just took time and effort and patience from all of us. Good luck!!!!
maybe it is the formula she is on have you tried pumping and giving her breastmilk in the bottle? My newborn daughter was unable to breastfeed in the hospital cause she had to be kept in the nursery for the first 2 days so she is bottle fed. She refuses formula so I just have to pump for her which I would actually prefer cause at least she is still getting my milk. Just a suggestion.
I agree with the previous poster--I think now that school will be starting in a couple of weeks it's time to pump! You would want to do this anyway because I don't know that you could go all day without feeling like you would explode, and your milk production would slow down. But this all depends on how long you want to breastfeed. My last child was 6 weeks early and breastfeading was challanging. But I pumped and then fed him the breastmilk in the bottle. My pediatrician says babies get 90% of the benefits of breastfeeding in the first 4 months of life. So if you can hang on a little while longer than would be great. Also, you might want to contact your local Le Leche League (sp?) for advice and support. I went to a few meetings when breastfeeding was the most difficult and it really helped (note: "breastfeeding" means that your baby is getting your breast milk no matter how that happens). These ladies really know what they are talking about and they know WAY more than your pediatrician.
Make sure you invest in one of the better pumps--unfortunately they are expensive ($300). Contrary to what Medella will tell you, you CAN share a pump or buy a used one, you just have to get new tubes, which can be ordered online (I checked with several medical professionals about this). The other option is to rent a pump from a local hospital pharmacy--they have hospital-grade pumps that normally cost over $1000 and they are awesome. I did this with my preemie because I got much more milk with this one (I don't pump well). You can also take the pump to school with you and pump on a break (weird, I know, but you can do it).
Just keep trying. I know it is hard. Babies go through all kinds of stages. Whenever things are going smoothly they are bound and determined to change something that will throw us for a loop.
Keep following the pred. advice. Maybe try a different nipple on the bottle. My nephew only would use 1 type and that was it. Good Luck.
Nevermind my prior response. I thought your baby was 2 YEARS old!! I should definitely stop trying to think in the mornings!! Sorry.
You didn't mention that you were pumping. Maybe she just doesn't want formula? Try pumping and putting that in the bottle. When you offer, squeeze just a little out of the nipple and brush it on her lips. this may prompt her to say, "Hey, it may not be mommy, but it's mommy's milk!" Just a thought. good luck and God Bless.
I had a similar problem with my daughter...she didn't like any bottle I gave her. I finally went with Parents Choice bottles from Walmart and she finally took that one. Figures that the cheapest one I could find is the one she liked best. Hope she figures it out soon!
G. -- perhaps it's what's IN the bottle..have you thought about pumping and having "the good stuff" in the bottle? Maybe that would persuade her..
On the pumping issue -- I was able to return to work
and still pump and it worked out great. Good luck!
S. (mom of an 11 year old girl)
I had the same problem with my little gal when I went back to work. What we figured out was that she will take the bottle only when she is amlost falling asleep. So a very patient care taker and a bottle vith very soft nipple.
G.,
I know the difficulties you are having and can appreciate your frustration. I am a child care provider of 21 years and have helped others in your exact situation. I hope this helps you. The advice is a little of "this and that" that has worked for families of children I have had in my care. Feel free to use what works for you and leave the rest, as each situation is different.
1. Use a bottle with a nipple that closest match to your breast. Don't try to change it up too often. Rub some breast milk on the nipple to give it your scent. Also could have a shirt of yours laying near the babies face to provide some of your scent.
2. Do not be in the room when someone else is offering her the bottle. If possible do not even be in the home. Baby girl will know you are there! If possible I would even have the person offering the bottle be in a different location (room, home etc....) and not near the usual location where you breast feed her.
3. Have the person offering the bottle try holding the baby close to them as you would normally do, but if that doesn't work have them hold the baby w/the baby's back to the their stomach. Baby looking away from person offering the bottle.
I've had some say one way works and others say if baby doesn't see whose offering the bottle that this works for them. See which one works for you.
If you have some time to do it gradually over a couple days.....
Try getting someone to offer a bottle near her hungriest feeding, usually the 1st one of the morning. She should be hungry but not so much so that she is upset. Do this each day for a couple days at the same time. Then do this for 2 feedings for a couple days....and so on
Keep trying, do not give in! Do not breast feed her until her next feeding.
If you do not have the time to do it over a couple of days then you can try as the ped. suggested and not give in. She will eventually be hungry enough and take it. Though it is difficult for parents to go through it this way.
Like I said, take whatever advice works for you and your little one and leave the rest. Some babies like the scent and reminders of their momma. For some babies it makes it worse as then they are constantly reminded of their mom so they will fight it harder.
Good Luck and feel free to email me for any further specific info. I'd be happy to help you out!
D. B.
www.lovenlearncc.com
Maybe she doesn't like the formula? Are you pumping yet? I am not sure how long you plan on breastfeeding, especially since you are going back to work, but I rented a pump from the hospital. I had twins so i felt like i needed an "industrial" one to get as much milk pumped. I looked into getting one from target and babies r us, but they didn't look as powerful to me. I ended up freezing a good supply of my breastmilk after 2 months of having my pump. My twins used Dr Browns bottles. I tried both Playtex (vent and bags) and they did not work for them. Once i ran out of breastmilk we used enfamil lipil formula. good luck!!
sahm to 19 month twin girls; former 1st grade teacher
My first baby hated the bottle and it was a hard transition when i went back to work at 3 months. my mom stayed with her for the first six weeks and it really was hard. i came home one day with my mom exhausted; both asleep in the rocker. my mom had to hold her all day. the good thing is that she did take a pacifier. the best thing you could do is maybe leave her for an hour at a time during feeding time to help with the transition. i know my husband had a really hard time feeding her and just had to keep trying; she eventually would take it. however, she would constantly cry through the feeding but things got easier.
I went back to work when my so was three months old. He started taking breast milk from a bottle a few weeks before I went back so he could get used to the nipple. I use the latex nipples from playtex because he would not take the usual silicone ones. It's not easy for me to pump four bottles while I'm at work, but I do it for my son. Do not let your baby cry when you know what the problem is and how to stop it!!!! You baby is crying because she NEEDS you. She needs to know she can trust you to take care of her needs. It might be a little inconvenient for you, but you are her Momma!!!!
I don't know if this really helps or not, but I'll just tell you what we did. My second son refused a bottle, and it was the same age of your daughter. He had taken a bottle previously on occasion, but at this age refused the bottle. I gave him breastmilk, and that didn't matter. He wouldn't take it. I tried every bottle and nipple known to man, and didn't matter (he also refused a pacifier, and is a thumb sucker). I went back to work when he was 3 months old, but I only work 8 hours a week. He would not eat at the sitter's on the days I worked; I always sent a bottle and she always tried, but he wouldn't eat. I would feed him 8:30/9am before dropping him off, and then would immediately feed him when I picked him up at 1:30/2pm when I picked him up. We tried the "wait and he'll take it when he gets hungry enough" method, and he would go 7-8 hours, and then only have an ounce or 2, or would still refuse. When he turned 4 months, I started rice cereal, and I would send cereal to the babysitter's so he would have something to eat, and that seemed to work pretty well. When he was 5 months old, I went to an overnight ladies retreat at church and he was home with my husband. My stubborn baby boy went 19 hours without taking a bottle, and at 19 hours finally gave in and ate only 3 ounces. So, not to frustrate you more, but just be aware that your baby may give in when you go to work and learn the hard way that if she doesn't take the bottle she doesn't eat, or she may never take the bottle. I would consider your options and figure out what works best or is most feasible: she doesn't eat all day and babysitter/daycare just tries to fight through it, try to figure out if there is any way you can feed her daily at lunchtime, or try to do an alternative like rice cereal/oatmeal cereal when she's old enough(some doctors give the OK at 3 months, so you could check with the pediatrician and see what they say). I know it's incredibly frustrating, but at the worst case this will only last a month or two and then your baby can begin some cereal or solids, and you can not worry as much about the bottle during the week when you work. Hopefully, your daughter will figure out soon that she needs the bottle or she doesn't get to eat, and it will only last a few days or a week. Good luck!
with my experience breastfeeding my 3 (soon to be 4) and all the babies in our infant montessori class, your best bet is to pump while nursing whenever possible and when away from baby and mixing that with the formula...try half breast milk and half formula...
sometimes the type of formula makes a difference
one of our moms at the school is copresident or something like that of the la leche league. she may be able to help...let me know and i'll get you her contact info.
good luck!
Have you tried to pump and use your milk in a bottle when you feed her?
If you hold her, use use a bottle with your milk at your body temperature and she doesn't cry, there is no problem with the the bottle.
If you hold her, use a bottle with your milk at your body temperature and she still won't drink, it's probably the nipple or you have a child that wants what she wants exactly the way she wants it (which is unlikely at 2 months old). If that is the case, I would tend to agree with the doctor, and if you try several different delivery devices with no success, you may have to tough it out for a bit until she adapts to the substitute (she will).
If she takes the bottle from you, but won't from anyone else, it isn't the bottle, she wants her mama. She will get used to someone else feeding her. Help them hold her the same way, sit in the same place or use something with a familiar scent on it (I don't mean perfume, use the same kind of (clean) burp cloth or blanket everytime.)
I'm so sorry you can't stay home with her, but she will be OK. This is one of those things that really will be harder for you than it is for her.
God Bless you.
Could you possibly take a year off for her sake? She is important right now and breast is the best for her. Also if this is not possible, have you tried the bottles from the hospital with the nipple like the hospital pacifier. Be patient, but letting her cry is giving her the wrong messgae and right now she needs to be fed when she is hungry and cuddled and made to feel loved and secure. Blessings...
