H.S.
I also have been worried about giving my son a complex about food...I grew up in a "clean your plate or you can't leave the table" household and I feel like it has contibuted to issues I have with food..so I really wanted to avoid that with my son, but I, like you, also didn't want to make him a seperate meal all the time. I read or heard someone once say "As a parent, it is your job to provide your child with nutritious food and it is their job to decide if and how much of it they will eat." So, I generally make up a plate for my son of the same stuff we are eating and if he eats it fine, if he doesn't eat it, that's fine too. Even so, we don't tolerate bad table manners (throwing food) and we make him him sit with us for a reasonable time even if he isn't eating. I do admit though that sometimes I will make him a separate dinner if we are eating something I know he won't eat...or I modify what we are eating for his palate...for example, if I am making something like a spicy stir fry with chicken, I'll pull out some chicken and veggies for him before I add the spicy sauce.
So far this seems to be working for us and though I do worry sometimes if he's getting enough, he's growing like he should. I do give him a children's multivitamin every day to help fill in the gaps.
Good luck!