My 18 Month Old Terror, Who's Also My Angel.......

First, take a deep breath..... As a mother of 5 sons ranging from 9 years to 21 months, I can relate. Below are some of our most useful tricks we've found over the years, and our average result time. Hopefully, they will work for you too. Overall, consistency with whatever method you choose to use will be the ultimate factor....

1. Shopping trips-Let him sit in the seat part of the shopping cart. If he wants down, he is told he has to stay with mommy and daddy or he goes back in. One step away, back into the cart. (1 day to 3 months was all it took for all 5 to figure it out)

2. Running off into roads, water, etc. I know it sounds mean, but the backpack harness worked like a charm for us. They get to wear it every time you go out, and it doesn't come off until learn to stay with you, or you are back in the house (2 weeks at most for all 5)

3. Feeding. Our biggest problem has always been too much in thier mouths at a time. Refusing to obey table rules results in a time-out away from the table for about 2 minutes (1 min. per year.) Small amounts of food at a time help, and for our kids, being a "big boy" and eating with the rest of the family was a HUGE incentive (6 months, on average)

4. Temper tantrums Let him have it out. Do not lead him to believe you are paying him any attention (obviously while still watching to make sure he is ok). As a general rule for almost all kids I know, when they realize that nobody is giving them attention for the tantrum, it just doesn't seem worth doing anymore. Time outs are a great way to follow up and gives you a nice quiet time to catch your breath, and be able to explain the rules again. Picking up a cheap kids chair that is always the "time out chair" helps too-tried and true by my grandparents, my parents, and me. If they REFUSE to stay put, his bedroom with a baby gate in front so you can see him, without him being able to run off, makes a great alternative. (3mos -1 year depending on child).

I know some of these time frames may seem a little long, but remember that every child is different. Stick with it, and keep looking for what will work best for your family. Best of luck =)

~Mom of 5

I think that your son and my son are long lost twins!!!

My 3rd was very much like this at 18 mos. I don't really know what you can do. They are impossible to reason with at that age. I would try to avoid taking him on long trips to the grocery store. I used to have my Mom come and watch him so I could go while my other two were at school, or I'd go at night when my husband was home. Do you have a fenced in back yard? That way, he can run at will without getting into too much danger. I will say, my son is 2.5 now and he's still my wild one, and still a handful, but things are getting easier. I can somewhat reason with him, or tell him that we have to go so we can do ____ and he is starting to listen much better. It's very trying on your patience, but it will get better. They grow up so fast!

No great tips, sorry - but he sounds just like my son! He's now almost 23 months old and these problems have gotten better to some extent. I think he had big surges of new skills, independence, etc and wasn't quite ready to handle it. I just tried my best to be consistent in how I dealt with each issue and eventually he began to catch on and actually CARE somewhat about what I wanted him to do. There was a month or two I basically didn't leave the house much with him because it was such a nightmare (I can relate to the screaming in the cart! Despite all attempts to ignore, distract, etc.)

If you figure it out...let me know...we have a holy 3yo terror in our family that no one can take anywhere because of your above mentioned problems. And still has to be fed by adult fingers right into his mouth...will not eat on his own and has NEVER sat down to eat...we think maybe because he was taken out of his highchair too early and never made to sit still and eat.No one knows what to do about him.

It is a hard age to begin with but my son was a handful too. I put a child harness on my son. He hated it. So I told him he had to stay with me or he would have to wear it or ride in the cart or stroller. When he tried to run or misbehave he went into something contained for a time out. After the second time out I didn't let him out for the rest of the trip. It worked but it was exhausting for a few months until he got that I meant business. I also ignored the public protests and tantrums as best I could (you can still pick up most toddlers if you need to and leave).

Same deal with the high chair--if he wanted to sit with us at the table he had to behave (no throwing food or getting up) otherwise it was the high chair. I found with that age I put a small portion (a few bites at a time) on the tray and let my kids self feed. Plates and utensils came a bit later, maybe 2 to 2.5.

We don't have a fenced yard so we got a mini trampoline when my son was a toddler (kids still love it over 3 years later). It is great to burn off extra energy when you can't get outside. Getting daily (or as close as possible) outdoor play in a safe place where he can run is a big help too.

On the up side, it gets better. By 3 my son stopped running away (my friend's son took a bit longer but does fine at 4). By 4.5 or so his behavior had improved so much it was way easier (but of course my other one was a toddler then).