I just wanted to say that this tears my heart apart as I am quite sure as the Grandparent to this child it does yours too. I know this poor child must be really messed up because of his mother's actions but just know even though you can't replace the fact that you aren't his mother he can know that he is still loved and sometimes a Grandmother's love bond is so much stronger than anything else. :)
As a mother myself there is nothing my children could do for me to write them off like that. I might be disappointed in their actions and decisions at times but not enough to ever make them feel "unwanted". He has a purpose here whether he realizes that or not. I'm very glad you have him in counseling hopefully that will help him through this and I hope that it doesn't damage his idea of what a "mother" should be and be disgruntled towards women all together-what a shame that the mom place that stigma. Especially when he has a sister and she seems to be more wanted than him. He must feel like he did something wrong or something is wrong with him. This just breaks my heart and all I can say is I will pray for your family and that God will make all of this alright in the end. I would assume your daughter will have to pay child support whether she likes it or not. It is her child and she is responsible to pay no matter the circumstances. Just as if she decided to keep him and had the father sued for child support as well. He has just as much of a responsability to pay for the child as does she. Any judge would see that. A co-worker of mine went through something sort of similiar the child was a lot younger but her daughter was strung out on drugs and she ended up having the Grandson for quite sometime. During that time she got approved for several diffrent things like reduced daycare cost, food stamps, etc. Make sure you get all that you are entitled too and give that boy lots and lots of hugs and kisses. I know he is 16 and probably doesn't care too much about that kind of stuff but I just hope she hasn't tarnished this poor boy for life. I hope one day he realizes it wasn't him but HER and I wish she would wake up because one of these days she is going to wake up and realize and regret what she has done and when that day comes your Grandson is going to have a big decision to make whether he wants to accept her or not and why on earth should ANY child no matter the age be forced to make that decision -very sad sad thing.