My 12 Year Old Daughter and Attitude!!!

Welcome to the club. I know that is not what you probably want to hear. But I hear you. I have a 11 year old that is turning 12 in February. I get the same attitude. Just this past week she missed 21/2 days of school to visit her dad for Thanksgiving. They have 1 day upon return to finish there makeup work. I asked her if she'd taken the math test yet on the way to school and she said no. So I told her "remember to ask your teacher about it today because today is the last day." She got all attitude. "I know" I told her not to tell me she knew. She is just like her 3 year old brother. If she knew she would of done it. I told her the proper answer would have been. " I know thanks for reminding me, I forgot" I then later in the same conversation got attitude while talking about the weather. I told her don't get all angry I was just trying to have a conversation with her. Forginve me I just won't talk to you. Believe it or not I actually go an I'm sorry. I think they have just so much going on in their little bodies with all those hormone overload. I try to just remind her about the way that she acts. One minute she wants me to treat her like a teenager and the next she is acting like her little 3 year old brother. I tell her she can't have it both ways. We are going through the makeup thing too. But I don't get to much attitude about it because she knows I'll just take it all away. Good Luck and If you would like to chat you can email me at ____@____.com

She's on the honor roll and has alot of friends? Wow...that's very commendable...however there's a downside to all of that...it's called pressure...pear pressure, school pressure, and when you get on her about her make up it's more pressure. But all the cool kids are wearing make-up...and if she don't she might not fit in. The point that she needs to understand is that there's so few REAL friends in the world...if they're her real friends they won't care if she wears make-up or not...they'll like her just the same and if anybody has a problem with it, then those are not her real friends and she shouldn't be hanging around with them. It's a very tough lesson for a kid that age to learn but the sooner she learns it the better off she'll be. Stick to your guns and be patient...she's going to need you to lean on when she learns.

Whoa.... I can remember that age..... I'd say that it's just that stage. That's about when I started testing my parents to see what I could get away with. Just don't give in or it will only get worse. I wish my parent's had been a lil stricter with me and my sister. Just be patient. Good Luck...

Yeah, my daughter is the same way. She's 11 though. When I ask her or tell her to do something she occasionally yells at me, I ask her why she is yelling at me and we talk about it, but in her defense I yell sometimes too, and depending on the issue at hand I might apologize. My suggestion is to go to parenting classes. I took them and learned alot about how to have less stress and discipline my children at the same time. I was told to suggest things to your child instead of tell, but I forget all of the parenting techniques I learned, guess it comes with practice or something. Hang in there, only 6 more years to go...lol.

Unfortunately she is not abnormal. Sometimes it seems that would be the easy answer. My daughter has gone and is still going through this at times. Most times when I can I try to get her to understand the difference between something tasteful and gaudy with some magazines. I also told her to think how her aunt looks without makeup ( my sister wears it religiously) and she told me awful, I told her that is because she wears it all the time so it leaves you no where to go. I don't let her wear it unless it is a special occasion and I have told her when she enters high school she can wear it but only tastefully and just mascara and lipgloss for a daily basis. I did teller that I will take her to get it professionally put on so she understands how it should be worn without looking like she should be in Moulin Rouge. For the attitude I either use humor as in when she gets upset I start saying out loud "Oh my mother doesnt understand me why is she sooo mean" and the other things I remember thinking when I was a teen and sometimes that works but if I am already upset she has severe consequences for blatant disrespect. No TV or no phone or no computer if it is reaaallly bad she doesn't get privileges back until she completes an essay paper. Keep your chin up even though she is young she feels grown, her body is telling her a bunch of different messages. Whatever you do keep an eye on her and keep her talking to you in moments when neither one of you is upset it can help for those intense arguments.

You could always do what my mom did to me!!! She would say (and I can hear it to a "T")... "Listen little girl... I brought you into this world and I can take you out of it!!!" She also reminded me that as long as I lived under her roof and she paid for my meals, clothes, school, toys, etc. then I would obey her rules. I tried to run away once, but made it down to the stop sign (down the street) and turned around. Of course, there she was on the front door step with her arms crossed waiting for me!!! :) I was surely taught a lesson that day.

OMG... I remember that age. It was a horrible time at our house. My daughter wouldn't have anything to do with her dad and only wanted to fight with me. It DOES get better. My daughter is 17 now and while we do still have the occasional yelling matches (you'd think she'd have learned by now that I'm not going to respond nicely to her raising her voice at me!), they are very few and far between. It has helped that I've always encouraged her to be able to talk to me about anything (even those conversations that make me want to lock her in her room til she's 30).
It's hard to actually give advice, because every child is different, but make sure you have a friend outside of the home that you can hang out with and vent every now and then. I relied on my sister a lot. Try hard not to yell back, cross-stitch (I saw that you liked that) and tune out the yelling - she's really not yelling at you anyway.
Good Luck!

she is just at that awkward age...not a little girl anymore, but not quite a teenager either...that call it the tweens. she is just testing your limits. she is trying to carve out her own identity, but is still too immature to quite know how to do it correctly. remember how you were at that age? I do. everything my mom said to me was " just so unfair!" and "all my other friends get to!" just try to be compasionate and understanding. this is a hard adjsutment period for her too. just let her know that you understand what she is going through, but let her know that her inconsiderate and rude and disrespectful behavior will not be tolerated...it will take some time and probably get worse before it gets better...but I'm sure that things will eventually improve.

I have 3 kids and I am 33. My first is a boy and 14. Puberty so far has been very easy. He does what he's told,even if you have to remind him 4-5 times. (its a male thing,I think,lol) .He doesn't get all emotional or try to argue with me or ESPECIALLY his dad. However My daughter will be 12 in a month and OH MY GOODNESS!!! She is very sweet and caring and loves everybody,except her and her brother like to fight and drive me crazy! But for the last year her hormones are on overdrive!!!!She argues over anything and everthing,cries over everything when she doesn't get her way! Everything is the biggest deal to her when it shouldn't be. Her brother finds it amusing. Her breasts are starting to grow,no period yet, but with her attitude I think it will be any day now,lol She will give me a run for my money especially when I have PMS, look out!! I think as long as you hang in there and stay firm when you need to everything will fine and hopefully get better. Oh, and my third child is at the end of her TERRIBLE two's so life here is very hectic at times! Thank you zoloft!!lol. Hope this helps. J.