My 11 Year Old Daughter Is Not Behaving

I just want to interject...... sometimes a cell phone is appropriate for an 11 year old, especially if they walk home from school or have to wait alone after school. Rules can be imposed where it is taken away at certain times....like after school or after a certain time.

I., tell your daughter you love her and that means protecting her. Tell her you aren't doing these things to be mean but because that's what a good mom does. You have 5 kids......so you probably remember that when they start puberty times get tough. Sounds like your little girl is there already.

Keep your rules without anger. Tell her you love her and that you are sorry she isn't happy with your rules, but keep your rules. Hopefully it will get better by the time she is 15.

:)

Don't just take away her cell phone-cancel it. To only be earned back after 3 months of good behavior.

She's 11 and has no need for a cell phone. Take it and keep it! Tell her you know she thinks you're terribly mean, but someday she'll realize you aren't. Drop her off at school and pick her up. If you have to work until after school lets out, enroll her in the school's aftercare program (they're usually very cheap or free), and pick her up. 11 year olds don't need to be roaming around untended either. Finally let her know that when she's the age of her older siblings, then she can have extra privileges and things like cell phones IF she has proven herself trustworthy and is doing well in school. Remind her that you understand that she thinks she can do everything on her own, and there's a lot she can do, but that she's only 11 and isn't even a teenager yet. If there's some reason you want her to have a cell phone, tell her she can earn hers back in a month if she is respectful and nice to the family and is doing well in school. Above all, remember that YOU are the parent and the adult here and she is a CHILD -and she is -an 11 year old child. She does NOT get to call the shots!

I agree, do not judge the cell phones. Sometimes they are needed when there are multiple parents/families and changing schedules.. Schools do not send messages to kids.. from their parents.. It is a liability.. Also after school activities do not always allow a way for parents to let a child know that they are running late. I know they have given me peace of mind, when I was running late or there had been a major development and I was able to contact my daughter, niece or nephew..

I., Can you pick up your daughter from school everyday? That way she has no choice but to be out there when you pick her up..

I also agree that she need to understand that you are not making up these rules to upset her, you are making these rules for her to be safe.

When she disobeys the rules, she is not acting mature and so she will not be treated as mature..

Let her know if she will begin behaving, speaking properly and quit disobeying, you will consider treating her as though she is responsible, until then, you continue to remind her, since she is not following the rules, you will continue to not allow her privileges.. It is all in her control.

Stop giving her opturnities to misbehave. Take her to and from school or get an adult to do it for you. Don't let her out of your sight. If you need someone to watch her after school, send her to daycare!! They all take kids up to the age of 12!! Take all of her things away-tv, radio, ipod, etc!!!

Yes, it's normal be told she hates you and blah blah blah but she'll hate life a lot more when she is out on the street, kidnapped, etc because you can't get her under control.

Take the piercing out and use iodine soap on it to keep the area clean in the mean time. If you can, find out who/where she got it done and report them for piercing a minor if she got it done at a shop.

Good luck
S.

YokaReeder.com has helped us.
best, k

I would never have given an 11-year-old a cell to begin with, but that's neither here nor there. Take it away and make her earn it back.

She won't come home? How does she get from Point A to Point B? Bicycle? Take it away and pick her up from school.