My daughter could be surrounded by a million toys but she will fixate on any toy someone else is playing with. She then takes it from them. I attempt to say no, take it away, give it back to the other baby, and distract her with another toy. She immediately goes back to take it again. She continues this and throws fits trying to get the toy. I don't know how to avoid this behavior, I don't want to condone it now and then have to deal with it later on. Any suggestions/??
This is normal behavior for a little one, sit down and play with her with another toy and see if this works. They do out grow this thank goodness. Good luck.
Sounds like she's experiencing "Toddlerhood" a bit early.
TODDLER'S RULES FOR SHARING:
1. What's mine is mine.
2. What's yours is mine.
3. If you're playing with it and I want it, it's mine.
4. If it's shiny, it's mine.
5. If it's big, it's mine.
6. If it's sparkley, it's mine.
7. If the dog's been chewing on it, it's mine.
8. If it makes a lot of noise, it's mine.
9. If it's been in the trash or floating in the toilet, it's mine.
10. If it's broken, it's yours!
(... get the point?...)
Relax and just keep doing what you're doing. (...and consider it a lesson in patience for YOU!) :-)
You are doing the right thing by not condoning it. Babies are smart and she will learn. Believe it or not, it's not just teenagers that test your limits, it's babies too. Even if you have to do it fifteen times, keep taking the toy away from her and giving it back to the other baby or even remove her from the situation. She WILL learn that it is not okay to take things from other children. I think the positive reinforcement (giving her another toy) while at the same time telling her no that is not acceptable behavior is a good thing. And using big phrases like "not acceptable behavior" at this young of an age is also a good thing. Start it now and keep with it. You'll find it gets easier on you and the child as they get older. Also, let her throw a fit - don't give in. That's also her way of testing you. GOOD LUCK!!!
Maybe I'm wrong but, I dont think a ten month old understands actions and consequences. I think she justs sees that toy and thinks that its ok to take it. I also dont think "explaining" it to her would help either. Perhaps you could help her with this by holding a toy and not automatically giving it to her? Maybe she can associate this roll playing with some action and reaction to help her understand that just because someone has a toy doesnt make it hers automaticaly. This is my best guess.
Margaret :)
Relax. It is the age and you are doing exactly what you should. It will take a bit for her to exept. I'm sure that she uderstands and children can understand action/consequnces much much younger. They understand...but that doesn't mean that they will like it. Watch out...next step is to manupulate to get it, she will start trading toys, or distracting the other child. It is fun to watch their little gears turn.
It is good, and normal, and part of the socialization process. Keep doing what you are doing. If she keeps crying, take her home, remove all of the room, redirect her in some way. Of course, don't give her the toy or let anyone else (well meaning grandparents or friends) give it to her.
Sorry, it is just something that will have to be endured. You are right, if you ignore it now, you will have to deal with it later. Priase her when she does share and maybe show her how to.
Don't worry about it. That is totally normal for 10 month olds. Just keep correcting it and ignor the fits. If she does it more than 2 or 3 times, put her in a time out briefly.
She is too young to care about others feelings, so that part of her isn't mature. You just have to correct it over and over and over with a brief, simple explaination (we don't take toys from friends). If none of that works, just hold her in your lap and don't let her down for a few minutes, and then do it again if she takes the toy again.
Every parenting book I have read says that they cannot comprehend sharing until they are 2 years old. In the playgroup I am in, we have 8 babies between 6 and 14 months that play together. We usually don't interfere. They have learned to hold on tight to a toy if someone is trying to take it, or take it back from them! It's pretty funny actually. If we do need to interfere because of a baby fight, we will take one baby as far across the room as possible and try to get them interested in another toy. It is very normal what your daughter is doing.
I agree that you should continue to give the toy back, explain about sharing and give her another toy. People don't give toddlers and babies enough credit. They understand a lot more than you think regardless of what anyone says. You need to be consistent in your discipline right from the start. Speaking from experience, I let my toddler get away with too much because I used the excuse he's too little to understand and then we had a lot of problems at age 4 and 5 because of it.
Just keep reinforcing the correct behavior, and like someone else said you may need to do it a few thousand times! Instead of saying no, say "that's not OK".
Good luck, I'm sure it's a phase that will pass!!
