Moving to Tx

Updated on September 17, 2017
G.R. asks from West Palm Beach, FL
8 answers

Hello to everyone who has been following my post. l could not press charges, l have made the decision to pack and leave to Tx with my son, to take him to a new inviroment with an uncle who was and still is my mentor since l was a kid. Hopefully taking him away from all this and giving him a new start will help him.

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So What Happened?

l forgot to mention that things are not going well with his father, they do not have a strong bond so l would not be taking him away from his dad. Thank you for all the advice l really appreciate it . l feel a change of inviroment will help . As a mom l feel l have to try everything.

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Z.B.

answers from Toledo on

He doesn't need a new environment. He needs to be in a program, and you need to be talking to a counselor.

Switching schools, boyfriend moving out, staying with his dad. None of these changes have miraculously made him stop doing drugs or getting into trouble. Moving to Texas won't do that either.

You have to seek professional help. It's going to be a lot of work for both of you, but you have to do the work and you have to stick by his side no matter what.

If you are moving to Texas because you need support, that's one thing. But don't think for one moment that moving is going to make his problems disappear.

7 moms found this helpful

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K.C.

answers from Anchorage on

You are all over the place and you are putting your son through hell. You have subjected this child to so many changes already and now you are going to move him to Texas? Children need stability and consistency! You need parenting classes and therapy asap. You've already abandoned him not to mention all the years you put your boyfriend before him. All you have done is prove to this child that he can't trust you to put his needs first.

You expected his father to clean up your mess and now you expect your uncle to clean up your mess. When are YOU going to step up to the plate and clean up your own mess and stop screwing him up more because you don't know what to do? Get professional help while you still have time to make a positive impact on him. Because all you've done up till now is make mistake after mistake that your son will pay for.

5 moms found this helpful
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G.♣.

answers from Springfield on

A change of scenery sometimes helps, but you can't run from your problems. You have to face them, and you have to deal with them head on. Your son's issues are going to follow him, too. Having your uncle in your corner might help, but don't think that any of your troubles are going away just because you are changing your address.

5 moms found this helpful

D.B.

answers from Boston on

Well, of course I hope for the best for him. If this uncle is a strong role model, that's a good thing. But if your son doesn't know this uncle well, and if you remove him from his father and his community, you have to put something in place to give him support or he will just find other kids who are using drugs. Going halfway across the country doesn't remove his problems, and it doesn't erase the fact that he broke into your house and robbed you. Be sure you have solid counseling lined up there before you arrive, and that you have some way to force him to attend. Be sure it's family therapy to help you develop the skills and insight you need. The fact that this uncle was a mentor to you doesn't mean that he wants to take on your son, that he will be able to, or that your son will respond. Running away from problems doesn't usually work out so be sure that this is a well-planned move with that understanding. Good luck.

2 moms found this helpful
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C.C.

answers from New York on

This sounds like a Hallmark TV movie. And, I hope that your rough tough-love Florida boy finds his happily ever after with the Texas farmer's daughter! (Meant in a *nice* way, not sarcastic!)

2 moms found this helpful
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M.G.

answers from Portland on

Have to say I agree with Gidget.

So long as therapy (for you BOTH) continues when you go to to Texas - then hopefully you'll be addressing the underlying issue. Simply moving away won't help. If he's got a drug problem, he'll find people to do drugs with there too. Teens can be incredibly resourceful. If he feels he knows no one and is depressed from starting over again - then you will need to have support in place to help him from the get go.

You haven't mentioned your son's father's role in his life. I am concerned uprooting him from his father may have negative consequences.

Are you getting guidance on how best to help your son? So far, it seems you've been a bit lost. No offense, I would be too - but from changing schools, pressing charges, taking him to live at dad's, to now moving - sounds very reactive. Is there a plan in place at all? He was in a psychiatric lockdown (?) wasn't he not too long ago? There should be people to help you navigate all this. I'm concerned that you're not getting guidance.

I hope this works for you - but I think unless you get the help you both need, the problems may follow you. I think not pressing charges may have been unwise. As hard as it is, sometimes a reality check (tough love) is the best thing you can do to a teen who feels out of control.

Keep us posted. I am wishing you both well.

2 moms found this helpful
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A.D.

answers from Minneapolis on

I hope you get him in to a good pediatrician's office, and have them do a chemical dependency evaluation as soon as you get there. If he had moved from the experimentation phase to the active addiction phase of drug use, he's going to need more professional support than a change of location to turn his life around. I wish you all the best with your move!

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H.M.

answers from Dallas on

Good luck! It's good you have somewhere you can go to make a change. What part of Texas

Updated

Good luck! It's good you have somewhere you can go to make a change. What part of Texas

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