Moving to Oakland W/ 4 Yr Old- Need Advice!

Updated on July 15, 2008
B.T. asks from Oakland, CA
4 answers

Hi Mommies!
I am moving to Oakland from Los Angeles and I would like any tips on how to make this huge transition easier for my 4 yr old son. I've been preparing him for the move by letting him know that he will be living in a new house, go to a new school and have new teachers and friends. (He sometimes asks if he will also have a new mommy & daddy!!) He seems excited when we talk about the move and, of course, after I reassure him that he will keep the same mommy and daddy- but I know that kids like routine and don't like change, so I don't know what to expect. We've taken trips (at least twice a year since he was born), out of the country, camping, raod trips, etc.- and my son loves it- but after a couple of days he'll ask "when are we going home?". I feel that maybe he thinks this move will be just another trip were taking. Maybe there are other things that I can do to better prepare him for this major change. I am not very familiar with the Oakland area either, so any advice on anything else- low-cost babysitting, mommy groups- would be greatly appreciated as well! Blessings!

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S.B.

answers from Los Angeles on

When we moved I made a book for my son that included pictures of the new house, his new room, a park near the new house and pictures of the three of us. (If you are really computer savvy you could photoshop the photo of you in front of the new house - but I kept it simple and it seemed to work). I wrote a simple story about moving and all the new things and most importantly how his toys, bed, cup and parents would all go with him. Also wrote how his friends and other family members would visit us at the new home and how he would make new friends. I included pictures of moving trucks also. I read the book to him regularly during the month before we were scheduled to move. I also let him help with the packing of his toys into the boxes. In all we had a very smooth transition. Unpack his things first and allow him to place things in the room where he wants them - it helps deal with his stress and makes it easier on you in the long run, even if his layout idea is not yours. Once he's settled in you can move the room around to how you want it with little resistance. Good luck with the move.

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J.C.

answers from Los Angeles on

Moves are hard on little ones, but you're doing right by just re-assuring your little guy. Keep doing that. When you make the move, he most likely will ask you when you will be going home, but just remind him that "we are home". The transition will be tough, but you will realize that the anxiety you're going through just thinking about how he will adjust is much worse than what he will experience. Kids will adjust and feel comfortable if you do. It all takes time. I think what would help is definitely finding local resources and showing him how much fun there is around his new home. Being away from family will be tough. Do you have a web cam? Maybe you can arrange weekly talks with family members that he can see on the computer. Encourage him to "write" letters to them or even e-mails. He'll be fine. Lots of luck.

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E.M.

answers from Los Angeles on

Hi B.,
Although, I have never moved that far, I can tell you that kids follow your lead. If you're anxious about the move, they'll be anxious about it. If you're excited about it, they'll be excited about it. If you make it a fun experience, they'll have a fun experience. Children adapt to change much easier than adults because they live in the present. We as adults tend to either live in the past or plan and worry about the future and forget that we are living in the present. I hope that makes sense. One tip I got and I believe will help your son adjust quicker is if you make sure to set up his room in the new house as quickly as possible. So that he can see all his familiar toys and things in his new house.

Once you get there or even before you get to Oakland Google MOMS Club International, they should have a chapter in your neighborhood. That's a great way to get to know new people and new friends for your son.

Good Luck with your move,
E.

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B.V.

answers from Los Angeles on

Just a thought from someone who has move kids from school to school in different states and different countries and also from public to private and later pack to public in a different place.
People tell us that they are amazed that it all went so well.
I think you might stop calling it a huge transition. Just do it and see it as normal and fun. I know it doesn't seem so easy, but really it how it can be fun. Some new toys always help. When we changed countries we got a computer. Does your little boy like leggo? This isn't the time too be tight with money. Also go to the zoo.
Let your son help with the unpacking and decision making. What I am saying is Just do it. Everything will be fine.
Oakland is a nice place. I know I transfered from UCLA to Mills College in the middle of my freshman year of college. It was the best change I ever made.
Good luck and don't take things too seriously.

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