Moving on from Divorce with a Toddler?

Updated on February 21, 2012
K.B. asks from Islip, NY
7 answers

Any moms who have moved on from divorce that would like to share there story? I am a 34 y/o mommy of a 2 1/2 yr old and the "D" word has come up time and time again. I don't know how much longer I can prolong something with someone who does not make me happy. There's so much more to our story and plenty of reason for me why divorce is an option. I'm just very worried since I have a toddler and work only part time how I'm going to get by. My mom watches my son on my days of work so my daycare for those days are free. She has a bad back so she can't watch him anymore days. Thanks for reading.

What can I do next?

  • Add yourAnswer own comment
  • Ask your own question Add Question
  • Join the Mamapedia community Mamapedia
  • as inappropriate
  • this with your friends

More Answers

Smallavatar-fefd015f3e6a23a79637b7ec8e9ddaa6

K.B.

answers from Tulsa on

Discreetly contact a local lawyer. you need to get everything done right to protect you and your child. You probally need a fulltime job. Texas generally does not require Alimony.

Do NOT date for at least 2 years after your divorce is finalized. You need time for yourself and your child does not need a new dad right afterwards.

Find support. You will need backup babysitters.

What is your transportation like? If you need to get a new car, do it now before you file as your credit probally won't be approved.

Divorce Care is a free program usually held at churches. It really helps you find support from people in the same situation and they are less likely to get sick of hearing about how hard it is.

3 moms found this helpful

C.P.

answers from Columbia on

First decide whether or not you love this man. If the answer is yes, (even if you love him but don't like him right now) you should do whatever it takes to try to make it work. Get counseling. Talk. This is your marriage. Remember why you married him in the first place.

The thing is, he can't make you happy. He can contribute to your happiness (and vice versa), but only you can choose to be happy. It is codependent behavior to expect others to "make you happy." And, on the other side of the coin...no matter what you do, YOU cannot "make" your spouse happy.

Divorce sucks. Be sure that's what you want before you go there. Be sure you address all of your reasons and excuses (valid or not) before you go there. Talk to someone. Start with your husband.

I wish you the very best of luck. And if you do decide to leave...it'll be okay. You'll make it work. You'll find a job and raise your child with the help of your ex. You'll find a new normal.

3 moms found this helpful

J.M.

answers from Philadelphia on

I agree with Christee Lee. Divorce sucks! Although if its absolutely necessary you'll make due and your child will be ok. Get your things in line. Get a full time job and arrange for a daycare for 2 days a week. My daughter J. turned 3 when my ex and I split up...it was/has been rough, and still is but we're still alive. I don't reccomend it if its something that can be worked on. If I get married again I am working my hardest to make the vows work from the start, not find out 10 years in everythings a sham. If there are major reasons you're not happy then you have to do whats right for you and your daughter. Goodluck=) BTW whatever you decide this community rocks for getting you through it

2 moms found this helpful
Smallavatar-fefd015f3e6a23a79637b7ec8e9ddaa6

K.M.

answers from Washington DC on

well depending on settlement, you may have to start working full time. Some people divorce and are still able to stay-at-home. Either way you and your child are entitled to child support and alimony. The former is a given. I personally feel that if you are miserable, your husband is miserable, for legitimate reasons, and all others options have been exhausted, divorce is probably the best thing for everyone involved. Yes, children want to see their parents together, but if it is not healthy, it's not what is best for them. Good luck!

1 mom found this helpful
Smallavatar-fefd015f3e6a23a79637b7ec8e9ddaa6

K.P.

answers from Dallas on

I suggest getting your stuff in order if that is the direction you marriage is heading. Start looking for a full time job, price apartments in your area to get an idea of what that will cost, look at daycare cost if your child is not currently enrolled. doesnt hurt to have all your ducks in a row.

1 mom found this helpful

F.H.

answers from Phoenix on

I didn't take my divorce lightly, nor would I suggest divorce lightly to anyone else. But really, you get to the point where you just cannot take it one more second and that's it. I had just started an insurance agency from scratch, 4 months before I got to that point and kicked my husband out and IMMEDIATELY divorced him. If you think this is coming for you, you need to get ready for it. Get copies of ALL your recent monthly statements from your banks, insurance, credit cards, bills, legal docs, whatever you can think of. Also, start figuring out where you can live, can you work full time, what options do you have. And don't feel guilty and allow your ex to pay less child support than he is required to. He MUST continue to financially care for your child. Many of us have been thru this and come out better. I am now married to a wonderful man who is great with my kids and I trust him more than 100%. Google some articles on divorcing and you will get some great advice in addition to your responses here. Good luck!

1 mom found this helpful
Smallavatar-fefd015f3e6a23a79637b7ec8e9ddaa6

D.K.

answers from Pittsburgh on

I would get a FT job immediately (not always that fast right now), even if that means you need childcare for the additional days.

For Updates and Special Promotions
Follow Us

Related Questions