Moving. How to Tell My Kids?

Updated on October 19, 2011
R.N. asks from Chesapeake, VA
4 answers

My husband and I decided to move closer to our jobs, the school, and most of the places we got. About an hour form where we are now. It won't impact the older kids too much (11,10,7) but the younger two (5 and 3) will change schools, and will be getting use to a new, most likely larger, house. None of my kids have moved before and my husband and I are very nervous about what there reactions will be. Any advice on how to tell them. Also if you have moved with kids, what are some fun ways to get kids involved in house hunting, and staying positive during that processes?

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K.L.

answers from Medford on

Actually I think it will impact the older ones more. They are more involved with friends in the neighborhood probably. School will stay the same so that will help. Younger kids adapt better I feel. You just tell them, dad and M. have decided it will be really great to get a different house and we cant wait to show you your new rooms!
We are actually in escrow right now for a new home and will be moving in a few weeks. Our daughter and grand daughter will be moving into our home we are in now. Shes 4 and has asked a few questions. She asked if she could take some of her toys to this house so she wouldnt miss them so much. We had to explain that ALL her toys will go with her. I will take some with me to my new house too. She was worried she wouldnt get to go to school, but we showed her how this house is closer to her preschool than the house they are living in right now. She got really excited when told her mommy will get to sleep in "gramas room" but it wont be gramas anymore. She also asked who is going to live in her old home, so its not lonely,, and we just said some new family will love it just like she did. (oh please Lord let that place sell fast!) So just start telling them, and answer all those questions. Reasure them that it will be home and all of their things will go and youll all be there together.
We are excited, scared, nervous and crazy with emotion after 34 years in this house,, How can I leave? But then I look at the new house and think,, How can I stay?? Congrats on the new move.

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F.H.

answers from Phoenix on

I think you need to ease them into it. Not just sit them all down in a family meeting and say "guess what, we are moving next month!!" I think you need to start talking about it like you are 'thinking' about it and then get more detailed like its more of a reality and then finally that you are going to move and take them to see the area and look for houses. I would be honest with them right from the begining, especially since you KNOW you have decided already. And be ready that they may not be happy. Maybe google some articles to get some ideas on moving the family. Good luck!!!!

1 mom found this helpful
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H.1.

answers from Des Moines on

I moved around a lot as a kid. I think your thoughts to keep them involved and positive are great.....but my parents never really involved me and I was fine. The hardest thing, by far, is changing schools. But if your older kids are not changing schools then I think they will be fine, really! They still have regular access to their friends and their comfort zone at school so I really don't see what the problem could be. A new house and new rooms will likely be fun for them. The younger two kids switching schools shouldn't really be a big deal because of their ages. AT this age, change is normal and they are much easier to make new friends. I wouldn't be too worried about them adjusting to the move for these reasons. Biggest thing to remember is you will all be together! I would just talk excitedly about the houses you are looking at and get them excited about their new rooms....if they will have their own bathroom this time, a better yard, or whatever. Beware involving them too much in househunting.....you're going to be stressed enough and to add taking in every child's opinion on each house may get overwhelming. It's a bit much power in my opinion and may add to their stress. I would wait til you know where you are thinking really hard about and then talking to them about it, showing pictures, taking them there, etc. Good luck, your kids will be fine!!

Also - when you sit down to tell the kids (older ones, especially) do NOT say the words "we're moving" first. That's enough to make them freak out, I know. Start with saying "we're getting a new house" and then go on with details. To me the latter phrase doesn't necessarily indicate a new school where the phrase "we're moving!" can send an older kid into panic thinking they are about to be totally uprooted.

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M.M.

answers from Washington DC on

We have moved with kids 7 times, across country three times. Your older kids will feel the impact the most. The younger ones will be fine.
Are the older ones staying in the same school? If they are that is one huge stresser out of the way for them.
Your youngest two are still solely dependent on you for every thing, the older ones not so much.

Let them pick houses from the internet and then go see them. Try realtor.com and militarybyowner.com

Let them check out the new town's park and rec, does it have swimming, soccer, taekwondo, cheerleading

Go to the new town and eat and shop at the mall.

Let them know the timeline. Let them help by packing their things, stuffed animals, trucks, etc

Tell them now, let them get used to it, then actually move next summer.

Or if you are thinking sooner, do it on Christmas break.

Kids are very resilient until about 8th grade. We have moved twice with different ones in High School. It just isnt' pretty.

This is an adventure. They'll catch the fever if you've got it.

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