So - long story short - when my son was little he stayed home with me f/t until he turned 3 - then he went to p/t daycare (would come home to nap) and finally transitioned to f/t daycare when he was 5. I work from home so it was ok - my job wasn't very busy and I could do the middle of the day break without a lot of trouble.
Fast forward 3 years - now my little girl has been on a similiar schedule - except my job has gotten SO BUSY that I barely have time to get everything done while she is gone and napping - and let's add to it that she is definitely outgrowing her naps. My son napped until he was almost 6 (i know I'm a lucky lady) but I'm pretty sure my little girl will be done with her "daily" nap shortly - maybe in the next 6 months or so.
So - when she doesn't nap I get frustrated because I can't work - if I can't work then I get stressed because it's my job - ya know? So then I get angry and start to yell - totally vicious cycle.
I think I need to transition her to f/t daycare - and she goes to an in home daycare right now which she really enjoys - but I don't know how I feel about her staying there all day (she bills me by the hour and it would get outrageous) and since it's only a daycare not a preschool she isn't really "learning" anything - but she loves the kids and it's a small quiet place where she has little friends to play with. However - this provider is constantly on vacation (a week of each month for the past 3 months) and then I have to play "run around" to find a back up provider.
I'm totally torn - I don't know what to do - and while I'm giving it a lot of thought I just can't stand the thought of having her gone all day but know I need to for my work.
Sigh
I think my provider was good when my daughter was 1 - she taught her to count to 10, and learn the alphabet - but lately it seems there is a lot of tv time and not necessarily any arts/crafts. Perhaps it is time to move on...
Playing is learning. But, if there is tv time, that's not either. It might be time to find a new daycare and have her in their full-time. If it's better for you, it's probably better for her.
It sounds like you do need full-time daycare. I don't know how people stay at home with their kids AND work from home too. If you're frustrated when you can't work through her nap time she is probably frustrated too. Is there any way that you can put her in more than part-time but not for the entire day? I've had parents who work 4 days per week or have their kids with me until 3 or 4pm.
I didn't see how old your daughter is but you might think about a preschool environment or a different daycare for her. What struck me is that you said "it's only daycare" so she isn't learning anything. If that's the case (combined with the 1 week a month vacation) I'd look elsewhere. Your daughter *should* be learning in daycare too. If you don't feel she is, then imo you aren't getting your money's worth.
In my daycare we are constantly teaching kids a million different ways because young kids learn though play. We work on fine motor skills, playdoh, manipulatives, drawing, painting, cutting with scissors, gluing: gross motor, running, climbing, jumping, dancing; creative play dress-up, puppet shows; social skills, sharing, taking turns; emotions, identifying feelings, using words to get what we want and need; books, music free play, outside play, nature, counting colors, animals, bugs...So many easy to teach kids so much. If your daughter is being plopped in front of the TV all day or you have a lazy provider, I'd find someone else. It will probably ease your guilt too.
Good luck!
It sounds like you are going to need a full time daycare/childcare setting. You can't do both very well at the same time. You get angry because you can't do your job and it trickles down hill.
Start shopping around for a new center and take her there. Find out what the rates are and if you can work out a number of set hours per day that you can afford.
Good luck. Welcome to the real world of work even if it is at home.
The other S.
PS Stop feeling guilty. You have to do what you have to do.
I work from home, too, and I think that if you and DD are frustrated with the situation,then it is a benefit to you both to extend her day. Your DD might enjoy a preschool with a daycare option. Maybe ease into it with the 1/2 day of preschool and then several days a week where she stays longer. There are times when I take my DD to a SAHD's house so she can get interaction and I can get a solid block of work done. (In turn, I take their son on weekends).
Children can learn a LOT through play - my DD's preschool (that she will attend in the fall) is play-based, but will teach her things like colors through painting and science through things like making bubbles. You want to find the balance in play and learning. I think if you find a place you really like, it will be easier for both of you.
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Can you find an all-day preschool nearby? Would that work with your schedule? Something like 8-3 might give you more slack in your day to work with, and still feel more like a school day for her.
Find another in-home child care with which you are comfortable that charges by the day rather than the hour and does in-home preschool. I am sure you can find at least a couple of options like that in Boulder. Good options exist and you shouldn't feel guilty. It sounds like you are doing an excellent job!
Is she three? If so, she's definitely ready for preschool. Some centers are flexible and charge in increments of 0-4 hours, 0-6 hours and full-time. If there's a Bright Horizons Center in your area, I highly recommend them. (And no, I don't work for them but am considering them for my daughter!)
Good luck.
I've never been cut out to be a SAHM, not my cup of tea. I have always worked full time, right now, from home, which I love since I can be here when the kids are home from school. Don't feel guilty! I think its good for the kids to be around others. Thats actually one of my concerns about having the kids home all time. You do what you need to do because as you've said, if you aren't happy, it filters down to those around you and especially the kids. Your kids will be fine and will be happy to have other adults and kids around them. Good luck!!!!
"since it's only a daycare not a preschool she isn't really "learning" anything"
This phrase tells me you have the wrong provider, you need one to teach you about the value of children's play - it's HOW they learn! I'll stop there (otherwise I'd get on a soapbox about quality child care, etc, and that's not what you're asking about), good luck with whatever decision you make.
