Here It Is - My Daycare Question

Like Suz said. Those horror stories represent one case out of 10 million. TV stations, papers, etc., run them because they sell, not because they're a reflection of reality.

That said, the best option is usually a highly accredited preschool. There, the teachers have specialized training, often MAs in early childhood education. Many start at 18 months, but there are some with "baby rooms" as well.

My son attended a Montessori preschool. We skimped in every single area of life in order to afford it, and it was the best decision I ever made.

Look into finding a job with on-site daycare, a licensed home day care with not many kids, or work from home.

My husband and I work full time and our daughter is in daycare. All my siblings and I were also in daycare. We turned out great. My daughter is doing awesome. I'm a better mom if I don't have to do everything by myself 24 hours a day, 7 days a week.

I also like having my daughter see her mom as a financial equal to her dad. It makes me proud to contribute financially to my household.

I have to say I have no horror stories to report. I am F/T working mom. I have done both home and large daycare- both were great. The lady that ran the home daycare ended up moving, but she was the best, and my kid loved her and the other children. When she moved, we put him in large daycare (where my daughter also goes now). It's family run and fantastic. One thing I like is that the kids stay with the same teacher for a year. We tried another large daycare, and the children moved into a different room/teacher every three months. I don't think this provided very good stability for my child. It was so large that I felt my child was lost in the mix. Not to mention that I had a hard time keep up with the teachers because of the turn-over. So we went back to the original daycare. It was a little more pricey, but worth it. With daycares, you do get what you pay for.
We really like the family that runs the daycare, and the teachers have very little turn-over. My daughter is with the same teachers my son was with when he went there. This is huge for trust. They also did a great job in helping prepare my child for kindergarten. I give them a lot of credit for his fantastic transition to public school.
My advice is to visit the places you have in mind. Have a list of questions you want to ask prepared. During your visit, just trust your instincts. If you just don't like a place, then visit another until you find one that fits. Also check their records with your division of health and human services. If you choose home daycare, make sure the owner has a business license for their daycare on the books.
Hope this helps!

I have no experience w/ center daycare, as I am an in home daycare provider. I am licensed and have done this for 10 yrs. I always tell people to interview multiple daycares, even if they love one and are pretty sure that's what they want. It's always good to know what different types are out there. I have also told families who have called that even though I have no openings, if they have any questions, to please call me and I will help in any way I can.

If you really want to know if someone is good, ask them for references from current families. I know that every single one of my families would give a good recommendations for me, if asked.

Know what you want before you do an interview. What type of setting are you looking for? Does it matter if they have pets? Do you want someone who does a preschool curriculum? Does it matter if they watch 8 kids or would you prefer they have less? How long have they done daycare? Ask about what they serve for meals and what you are expected to provide. These are all things I talk about w/parents and I have a handbook for them to take...by the time we are done talking, they have no questions, because I cover everything.

Daycare is good for lil ones for socialization and for you to learn that it is ok to leave your lil one! If you find the right one, you will never worry about your child! Best of luck to you and I hope you find what you are looking for.

do not allow fear to paralyze you. there are horror stories about EVERYTHING.
the horror stories are in your face because they make much better press than talking about all the kids who go to daycare every day, and do just fine. and love it.
do your research, read contracts carefully, check out prospective daycares exactingly, and follow up on referrals. do a week's worth of trial runs before you go to work. (you'll need it for YOU, the first day you take him you'll cry and your mascara will run.)
you can be tuned in, alert and responsive to issues without being paranoid or transmitting that fear of separation to your son.
it will be fine.
khairete
S.

There are lots MORE good stories out there too. While yes, you mostly hear about the bad ones...think of all the working parents out there that go day to day with their kid in great care.

My mom ran an in-home daycare for 18 years of my life. It was a great experience for all. Ironically, my husband's mom ran a daycare also. So I've been exposed to in-home day cares. My kids were fortunate to have grandparents watch them when they were small too, however now they go to an after school latchkey, so I've been exposed to centers too.

- One of my moms last day care kids still is a big part of our lives. She actually watches my kids and even buys my kids presents at Christmas. She is very much like family.

- Also I love the program director and workers at my daughters latchkey. They actually have made me feel like they care for my child and they are just not another clientele. In fact the other day I walked in to hear her say "Oh boy the whole family got their hair cut, huh? You all look so great!"

The key is to find someone/somewhere you are comfortable with. Take your time, get referrals if possible. You can check out both centers and in-home care and see what your more comfortable. I believe its possible you can find somewhere. And like I said just keep in mind there are more good stories than bad out there.

Look around at a bunch of different options to see which you are more comfortable with and what might be the best fit for your child, because not all daycare options way work with your child personality. For example, if your child is extremely active and social, a small group in a small setting may not be the best fit.

I am a working mom and had to go back to work immediately as my husband was unemployed at the time, it was hard going back to work when the baby was only 3mos. However, we found a wonderful Montessori school that had an infant program (not many places offer infant programs around me) and we all love it. She's 21mo now and cheers whenever we pull up to school. She is extremely active and social, and the Montessori method of teaching, and the fact that she gets to interact with so many different kids of all ages, engages her on a level that I couldn't do myself. She was a preemie and once she started daycare she quickly started meeting age appropriate (not adjusted) milestones and now regularly suprasses them - the doctors are amazed.

So, I understand the feeling of trepidition when first looking for a daycare, I felt that way too - I felt creeped out by having someone come into my home to be a FT nanny, and I was scared by all the stories I heard of daycare. Going and visiting the place is really the only way, and you'll quickly get a feeling of "yes, this is it" or "no, not for me".

BTW, her school is a family run chain program, but I found it to be reasonably priced, don't assume that something like that is out just because it seems like it might be. When I factored in the amount of hours she would need to be at daycare, and what other places charged for extended hours (at the time I needed to drop her off by 6.45am!), the Montessori school was a real bargain!

Good luck!

I had my son in an in home daycare starting out. His first sitter was a lady in my church, so I felt very comfortable. When she went back to work when he was 9 months old, I had to find another sitter.

I found a lot of people online (mostly Craigslist) and got recommendations on different centers. I also posted needing a sitter on Craigslist. I called a bunch of different people. Over 75% got ruled out over the phone. Either by price vs experience, times open, didn't get a good vibe, etc. The rest I went to interview. There was one lady who was great on paper and the phone, but I knew the minute I was in her home she wasn't right. I found a great lady who ended up keeping my son from 9 months til he was a little over 3 years old. She only kept 3-4 kids full time, her 2 kids, and maybe 2 part time kids. The smaller number of kids was great because this was the age where my son went through phases of crying when he got dropped off, so she could give him some extra attention those times. She would work with all of the kids on numbers, colors, etc. She was really awesome to find and we would trade off sitting on the weekends or date night. She ended up moving and I had to start over again.

At this point my son was older and I felt more comfortable with him being in a larger center since he was verbal. I also wanted someplace that would be able to take him to and from school so I wouldn't have to switch again in a couple more years. With the to/from school requirement, that ended up ruling out most in home daycares, and I ended up enrolling him in a center with a preschool like curriculum for the 3-5 year olds and before/after care for the school age kids. He has been there for a little over 2 years. I think this was a good introduction to school since it was much larger and more structured like Kindergarten would be.

I also have a drop in center that I use for when I have to work on the weekends or go to some occasional wedding or something like that. I actually considered their preschool program, but it didn't work out. As a drop in place, it is fine for a weekend here or there. There isn't much structure since kids come and go all day. Pretty much my son plays video games most of the time except for when they go outside and during snack/lunch time. The most he can stay is 6 hours per day/24 hours per week, so it's all right.

I'm a single parent, so part time was never an option for me. I've had good experiences with in home and a center. The horror stories are few and far between, but they stick out the most! Most of the time your experience will be fine and occasionally you will find a really awesome person, like I did with my second sitter. Trust your gut feeling while you are looking at different places and talking to people. You'll find something that will work for you. Good luck!

When I had my son (14 yrs ago), at the time a news story was going around about two 6 month olds who suffocated in a home daycare.
It seems the mother was planning a birthday party for her own kids and put the babies to nap on a bed with pillows/blankets around them to keep them from falling off.
The babies pulled the blankets over their heads, suffocated and died.
The story just broke my heart.

On the one hand, a home day care sounds like it should be close to what I feel is a home-like setting.
BUT, you hear stories of kids propped up in cribs with a bottle for feeding.
An at home person MIGHT get stressed, or be taking care of things around their home and have other things going on - that can take away from watching the kids in their care.

A commercial daycare seems impersonal - BUT they are licensed, they have more than one person on hand to watch the kids (they can take a break if they are stressed), they are more carefully regulated about how many kids per age per care giver there are and with parents coming and going all day there's more watching going on so there's a better chance if anything not right happens it will be seen.

The day care we used was a commercial place that was right across the street from a fire station (with EMTs) and the day care had a GREAT relationship with them.
The firemen would come over and get toys of the roof with their ladders, and the kids (and my son especially) LOVED seeing and hearing the fire trucks as they went about their business (he was there from 3 months until he was about 3.5 yrs old and ready for preschool).
It really helped make me feel better.

We had a baby sitter while we were growing up (an elderly woman who was the mother of a college friend of my Mom's) up until I was in middle school and we didn't always like her, but my Mom said that although she didn't agree with everything the sitter did, her primary job was to keep us alive and well till the end of the day when Mom got home from teaching school.
The baby sitter came to watch us in our house and would be there all day in case we had to come home or stay home sick.
She did a little light cooking and cleaning.

What kind of daycare you want can be a hard choice to make, and 'the right' choice will be different for everyone.

Well, I have worked the entire time I was mommy (with one summer exception when I was laid off years ago - meh I could take it or leave it).
I do love my job and I worked very hard to have the right balance so my kiddos did not spend more time in day care than I did at work. So that meant me and hubby working shifted hours where I take in around 9 am and he picked up at 4pm, etc. Like a school day.
I truly enjoyed the learning environment of my kids child care setting. They did so many wonderful activities and they learned to work with others and play and share. They also learned that the world doesn't always revolve around them:) and that is a good lesson too. Independence and self-reliance, etc.
So, no horror stories, but I was very pointed in my decision making. I wanted a CENTER not a home. I liked that in centers the teacher only worked with children of the same age (there wasn't an 11 month old and a 4 year old in the same room) and that there was always someone there to help the teacher and support her/him as they needed. I was very concerned with home care that if the provider was upset or frustrated that day they had no one to turn to for support, supervision or accountability since it is just a bunch of children.
That said, google child care aware. They are a non-profit child care resource and referral service. If you want home, they will find you home, if you want center, they will find you center, etc. sometimes there is a minimal cost for their service. Basically you call them, tell them what you are looking for and they give you the name of 5-7 child care providers that meet your criteria and all are licensed and/or registered. Also, they have (for free) checklists and what to look for to determine quality child care and help you look for red flags:)
Good luck.

My son started daycare 3 days a week when he was 9 weeks old. It has been a great experience. We went with a licensed center - I never considered a home daycare - too little supervision of the provider, no back up if the provider was sick, too little holiday coverage. Who watches the infants when the provider needs to go to the bathroom? How do they take a lunch break? I also did not consider a nanny - same thing - nobody watching a single provider.

Our daycare had a licensed preschool program starting at age 3. It was play based and DS LOVED it. He would ask every morning if it was a 'baby work' day. He learned so much and a lot of it was daily interaction with kids that he NEVER would have had otherwise. We also learned a ton - daycare had the kids singing the clean up song and cleaning up while we were still following DS around and cleaning up for him. When he was 4-1/2 we switched to a Montessori program - they required 5 days a week and we (not DS) were not ready for that until then. He LOVED it and is currently doing well in public school (age 7).

I love working and want my son to see that. It may not be a popular view on this site, but I think it is incredibly important for a child to see both parents having fulfilling careers outside the home and both parents being highly involved parents in the home. To accomplish this goal - child care was (for us) a necessary and beneficial thing.

If you don't have to work and don't want to work, maybe enjoy this time :). I stayed home until my oldest was 3 and loved it. My second was 1, and I found out I was pregnant just after I started my first "real job."

But - my older two kids went to a private preschool and they LOVED it. It was so perfect. I researched all of the private preschools in our area and took my daughter with me, this was the only one we both liked. My second baby went there too for part-time preschool. My sister watched my kids, so this was do-able. When my youngest was 3 and ready to go to pre-school, my sister quit. We found the most amazing sitter EVER! I found her online through a local classifieds add, and found out she was the nanny of some friends of ours, the dad is a State Trooper, so I trusted her.

My kids haven't gone to her in almost a year now, but we still keep in touch and spend time together. She's fabulous! If I could make my kids smaller just so we could stay with her, I would do it. No horror stories at all!!

We did have a nanny for 3 weeks and that was pure hell. She got mad at my baby, then 4, and pushed him. So yea, she was fired immediately and I notified sittercity, where we found her.

Our morning sitter now is from sittercity as well and she is simply amazing! She also helps us out on school breaks, and this week when I went home on Tuesday, she was in the basement with the kdis throwing balls around (we let them do that in the basement only). Yesterday I went home and she wasn't at home and neither were my two older kids (9 and 7). I went upstairs and found my hubby (who had surgery on Tuesday) in bed with our 6 year old son, snoring :). The sitter had walked with the older two to the local park. She also made home-made ice cream with them! We love her!!!

You'll find the right person and place for you, just do your research and communicate like crazy with your sitter.

We both work and have our boys in a family run center. There are pro's and con's to both in-home vs center. We use a family owned center which is a franchise. They have to uphold the standards but we absolutely love the closeness and warmth that you might not normally feel at a center. We like the flexible hours and fact that if one person is sick, the whole place doesn't close. They also have integrated pre-school and pre-k programs so we don't have to shuffle them around either. I also love that we get pictures sent in the middle of teh day of our kids at different activities. A center will typically cost more as well but like another post said, you get what you pay for. In homes can be great but you have to be able to work within their schedule, they take vacation, you have to find back up, they get sick, you have to find back up. Drop off, pick up times may be limited as well. Whatever you decide go visit and watch in action. Talk to people and get a feeling. No one will ever be you but you want to be comfortable with what you choose for your child. And it will definitely be an adjustment but eventually you get used to it. Ask around too. You say you are new to the area but what good reason to talk to neighbors. Ask where they go and what they like about it. As for whether to go back to work, that's a personal decision. You obviously would want to make sure your salary offsets the cost of daycare. I think part time would be ideal and would love to be able to do that someday. I love still having the challenge of a job but always welcome more time with my kids.

I would start with word-of mouth. Perhaps people at your husband's employer can add some feedback. That would at least be a good starting point.

Then visit, visit, visit! And the best guide is your intuition. When I had to put my 5-month-old in daycare, I knew the place from the get-go. It was a spotless, home-based daycare with about 7 kids and two caregivers. I also asked them for references who reaffirmed my decision.

I also knew what places weren't for us. I avoided, for cost purposes, the large chains which insisted on giving a tour before quoting a price.

I knew that they would be way over my budget and I was right.

So again, I would use word of mouth and intuition.

Good luck.

I honestly haven't read the other responses, so I apologize if I'm just repeating things.

First, yes, there are horror stories, but the majority of daycare situations are really, really good.

My son started daycare at 18 months. I was working 2 morings a week, so the only option was an in-home situation (or a nanny, but we went the in-home route), as most daycare centers do full-time only. I think it was better for him, as he was very young and it was really nice that she could comfort him the first few times I had to leave him. As he got used to it, he would physically be fighting agaisnt his carseat straps trying to get out because he was so excited to be there and see the other kids.

The following year a took a full-time job, and we enrolled him in a daycare center. There were many reasons for this. One was that they have afterschool care, also, and our oldest was starting kindergarten. He is able to ride the bus to daycare, and my husband picks up both kids after work. Now they are both in school, so they ride the bus together.

I really like daycare centers (good ones) because they have enough kids to separate them according to age and do wonderful activities with them. They do arts and crafts and stories and just so many creative things with them. It's so great to hear about everything they've been exposed to. And they really like the place and the teachers.

We were very lucky, because our neighbors and many people from our church highly recommended the daycare center we chose. The assistant director also goes to our church, and everyone just loves her. We had a really great feeling about he place before we even started there.

Start talking to people and asking questions. It's not easy to let little ones go, so please don't think I'm trying to say that. But the more you talk to people and hear about their experiences, the easier it will be.

Good luck!

You can have problems with public as well as in home daycare. My Mother watched my dd until she was 2 1/2 and then I put her in daycare. She had separation anxiety for about a month and then she was fine. Which ever one you choose you have to stay on top of things to make sure your son is getting the best care.

My cousin had her son in an in home daycare that was highly recommended. She found bruises on her son and as it turned out the lady was abusing the kids in her care and had her license revoked so in home is not always good. Go visit daycares to see how they run the day care. Check the staff to kid ratio for your sons age group. Look to see how involved the Director of the center is.

If you are going to use an in home daycare visit and stay awhile. Check to see what activites they provide. See how lunch and snack time is handled. Check their potty training plan. See how nap time is handled. This advise is for both in home and public daycares.

My DD loved her daycare. As she got older she made friends and looked forward to going so that she could be with her friends. Good luck!!

Go visit different places. Even if they are not your top choices, find out what you have around you. Talk to friends and coworkers. Find out who loved their daycare or where they had problems. You MUST see the daycare and talk to them and see the kids. Look at the kids - are they clean and happy and are the teachers stressed or mostly relaxed?

I chose a small center in a church for DD. I wanted a homey feel but I wanted to be sure that someone was there when I needed them to be so I could work. It was the best of both worlds for us. We loved them and I only left them because they were so far away when I stopped working FT.

My two cents-- it really depends on the provider and what you are looking for.

In-home childcare providers or certified child development center (ccdc)? Both can be great or awful, it really depends on the teacher/provider, overseeing director, etc. One thing you can do is contact your county child care resource and referral service and see what they have to offer.

In-home caregivers may have lower numbers, kid-wise, or higher, depending on if the provider has her own kids. The drawback is that they may not have back-up caregivers in case the provider or her family are sick.

Daycares themselves are usually adequately staffed and floaters (staff appointed to cover breaks from room to room) sometimes cover teacher absences. You will likely have more consistency of care in that situation.

Things I would look for:
1. Cleanliness. What's your overall impression? Are the kids' noses wiped? Is the floor relatively clean, and are the tables clean? Ask about handwashing routines, how they do their sanitizing (bleach water or vinegar or anti-bacterial wipes), are the carpeted areas relatively clean?

2. Teacher qualifications. Do they hire just anyone, or is there an ECE or experience requirement for the lead teachers? What's their teacher turnover like?

3. What's the daily routine for the kids your son's age? 14 months is a younger toddler-- they might nap once or twice a day, but be wary of programs which don't have any routines. At this point, kids really need predictability in mealtimes and should not be waiting to be fed until they are hungry.

4. Observe, observe, observe-- the biggest tool, in some ways, is your gut. Get into the daycare setting and observe how the teachers handle transitions, conflict and stress. Do you like the guidance you see? Are the teachers patient with the little ones? I also strongly recommend also checking out the next-age-up rooms too, because that's where your son is headed to next.

5. Clear parent/teacher communication. This should be presented in a number of ways: a parent handbook with guidelines which are clear; notes home or a chart which conveys how your child's day was (diaper changes, food eaten, naptimes). Some daycares will have websites, too, where you can see pictures or read about what the kids have been doing.

These are just basic criteria for checking out child care. In regard to "should I do it or not", I would personally wait another six months if I could.
Two is a whole different stage of development. I've worked at daycares (both high and lower quality) and it's my experience that observing the teacher:child ratios and how the group is moved through their day is one of the best ways to get a sense of what the regular situation is.

And if they won't let you observe,-- pass'em by.

have you ever thought about a work from home option??

For me, it is all about the child. I could not imagine anyone holding, cuddling, reading to, comforting, teaching, feeding, exploring with, cooking with, creating with, modeling appropriate behavior to, etc. in the unique way that my child needed, when he needed (not when it fit someone else's schedule), as I would. There was nothing that any extra income could have brought into our family that was worth me working. We had to do without a lot of nice things, but I had the time to get very creative with our money and we went fun places and did a lot of fun things.

By the time I would work, pay for a sitter, pay the taxes, buy clothes, pay the gas and car upkeep, pay for eating out and prepared foods (because I was too tired or too busy to cook), I really don't think the leftover money would have been worth the time away from my children.

My kids thought I was the best mom ever because I was there at all of their class parties, school events, sporting events, field trips, etc. when they saw that most of their friends couldn't have their moms there. In fact, that was one of the main reasons I wanted to stay home with my kids - my mom was never able to be at any of those things. And that was so long ago that my mom was one of the few that wasn't ever there.

If you ask either of my grown kids if they will ever put their kids in daycare, they will tell you, "Absolutely not." If your son only had one day of one of those "horror stories" you have heard about, would it be okay with you? Would the extra income be worth it? What would you say to him when he was older and asked why you put him in that horrible situation? Would you say that you liked working? Or that the extra income was nice?

Do you have a church home? Or have you met any other moms at the park? I got to know a group of moms who regularly went to the park together. We finally formed a play group since our kids were close in age. I got really close to one of the moms and we would swap babysitting so we could have date nights once in a while. The kids loved it as much as we did. My husband wasn't really fond of having someone else's kids over when it was our turn to watch them. I just had him go out with his buddies on those nights. The kids entertain themselves most of the time anyway and my husband wasn't needed.

Sometimes we would just have a date night after the kids went to bed. Our kids always observed a bedtime so we could have time to ourselves. When we had a jacuzzi, we brought the baby monitor outside with us and we enjoyed some quiet time.

I don't know how moms who work outside the home have the energy and patience to be there for their kids and their husbands and do the shopping, cleaning, cooking, etc. My husband worked hard and really appreciated not having to help with all that on a regular basis. He has always helped here and there, but he enjoys it because it is his choice when he wants to help - like when people are coming over and so much needs to be done. He also likes the fact that I wasn't too tired to be there for him.

Now that the kids are grown, I can do what I want, buy what I want, etc. My kids never felt deprived of "things." Once in a while when they would comment on a friend getting some extravagant toy, I would say that I could go to work and we could afford it. They would say, "No!" That's when they were a little older. But imagine if your son could talk, what would his choice be?

get a sitter to come into your home and put cameras everywhere-a camera is no protection for a child unless it is known that they are there. Pay for a background check and finger printing

Work part time when your husband is home to watch the baby.

part time is a good life..full time and it seems like someone else has your baby more thatn you do.

2 or 3 days a week is good...

I would loook for a nice home day care with 6-12 kids... that is ideal.