Moving-do We Do This or Not?

This would be a life changing move. You need to mull over it for several weeks/months. You're looking at it now flush from a great vacation. Take time to look at it in nitty gritty detail. Write it all down. If an important part of the move is husband going back to school get lots of information from the school. Will he reach his goal at this school? Then look at how you will finance it. Included in that is looking at the job market in that area.

Make a step by step plan. This will take time and you won't know if you should move until you do that.

Umm, I'm not so hung ho. I SO understand the longing to be close to family. I haven't been for 26 yrs of marriage. For the first 4 yrs we tried really hard to find a way but instead moved several more states away.

I'm hesitant because we know a family who did just what you are thinking about doing. They took the leap of faith and moved closer to his family.
He had trouble finding a job to compare to the one in the big city. They built a house on some land. It turned out to more expensive than they thought so she had to go back to work, also. Turns out they saw much less of family than they had planned. Life just gets in the way and if you live close, you don't go and stay with each other, so you don't get that kind of closeness.
It looses something special about it. Longing makes everything seem better than reality can possibly be.

I could be all wrong about this but you need a balance to these emotions you are banking on right now. What if you are there and the kids hate their school? You hate your commute? Your H is disappointed in the school?
You find out you dislike some of the family?

I think it sounds like a great idea. Hubby goes back to school, you find a new job, and have family to fall back on to help with the kids if needed. If everyone is up for this, I say it is wonderful to be able to nurture new family relationships and start anew. I would love to do that.

Hey, I grew up in West Jordan! Hello!
All I can say is, really think everything through. Gather all your info and make a pros and cons list. A change of pace can be good but don't jump into it without really making sure you have a plan in place and are aware of the sacrifices- there will be some.
My parents made a big move like this 6 months ago. I do think they jumped into it and just thought it would be fun. There have been benefits to their move but it has also been really hard. They chose to remodel a house and it has cost over double what they expected, without any fancy upgrades- this is just for it to be up to code. There has been a lot of drama with living so close to family members- family they previously had no issues with. The plus side is they are close to the grandkids.
Where are you thinking of moving to?

make the list of pors vs cons. Some of the cons may be dealbreakers - some may not. then consider your kids' ages. Now is a good time to move. Once they're teenagers its the absolute worst time to move. i know too many teens whose lives were distrupted when mom & dad wanted to m- before they get too big.

Well, it sounds like everyone was on board! Have you had a family meeting about this? See what everyone thinks about moving? That's what I would do.

If your husband goes back to school, aren't there good schools in your state? If not - then find out how long you would have to be residents in the new state to get in-state tuition...

if you can afford it and everyone is on-board - GO FOR IT!!

We are trying to move closer to my family. My parents are getting older and I've lost several aunts/uncles, etc. and had no closure from not going to funerals. I miss my family but I carry on here as this is where the job has been for the last 16 years. I worried about the kids changing schools but then again they are kids and will adjust. Timing isn't here yet. Job searching out of state and not being a local holds one back. If we move and then establish residency then it would be easier but again we need jobs to move forward. We are staying put to see what the future holds. We try to visit my family twice a year and it helps but it's never enough. Sleep on it and make the list. We are still looking at other options as we have a house to sell, rent or shortsale.

Sit down as a family and discuss the pluses and the minuses.

We're driving back from a similar vacation, contemplating the same thing. I'm sick of the Salt Lake inversion and smog mostly, and like you, we are at a bend in the road...

My take? Now is the time to move for us. Housing prices are rising, but not out of control where we are looking. I want to move over winter break or thereabouts. Hubby would have to look for work, which really concerns him. I work from home, so I can keep my job. My oldest son just had his best friend move away, and I want to go before he makes a new bestie.

Make a list of pros and cons. That's what we did when we moved to SLC 11 yrs ago, and the pros outweighed the cons, and I'm planning to do it again.

Good luck!

Could you move to the other state long enough to establish residency, and THEN have hubby go back to school?

Sounds like the family is on board with this possibility... maybe you need to talk to the kids, too.

IF IF IF IF I were in your shoes this is what I would do. Honestly, this is what my plan would be.

I would sit down with hubby and myself and talk, talk about his goals, his ideas, what he wants to do with the rest of his life, how he wants to reach his goals, etc....then I'd ask him if we could pray about it.

If we decided this was what we're going to do then I'd tell hubby to apply at every college he wants to consider. File for financial aid as soon as he can.

I'd ask him to only consider schools that have family housing on campus. This way his financial aid will go towards your rent and his school costs before you get any money left over. It's really wonderful to not have rent, utilities, phone bills, cable bills, etc...

Once he gets accepted get on the phone with the housing department and get an apartment. I'd even consider doing fully furnished if you don't have a lot of stuff. If you do have beds and dressers it might be that storing them would be cheaper than a moving truck and all that expense.

Go live on campus. Hubby won't need a vehicle, just a bicycle or scooter/motorcycle. He will likely be able to walk to classes. He should not work during school. He should take classes in the spring, summer, and fall each year. This way his financial aid will be scheduled to cover all the semesters and not leave you having to move out each May and back in each August.

Then if he finds he's doing well in school he might want to consider going to grad school even at a different school.

When I was going to college at OSU in Stillwater OK I lived on campus and never had to worry about any bills, I only had to buy my food, gasoline, and insurance for my car. I had so much spending money. I got food stamps, since I had a child I got low income housing and a check from the state. I loved going to school and was able to focus on my grades and have nearly straight "A"'s.

If you have to work while hubby is going to classes that might be something you both have to consider. His job will be going to school. Getting financial aid takes care of his income. If you work you'll just have more ready cash on hand.

The state might have a child care assistance program so you won't have to pay a lot our of pocket for child care while you work. With both of you working together you should be able to manage this quite well.

Most of my friends went to BYU and then moved to my area because hubby got on a job being an engineer. I know lots and lots and lots of families that live in the married student housing apartments while hubby goes to college. That's the only way they could afford for him to not work a full time job.

Good luck with this. I hope you both find the strength to do this.