Help me out ladies. We recently moved out of state. We moved away from a neighborhood full of gossip and lies. Unfortunately one of the families we had the most problems also moved to the same state (what are the chances of that?) Our old next door neighbors are still acquaintances with them. We no longer talk to our next door neighbors (read previous post about neighbor who threatened realtor--ha) but my daughter still talks to their daughter, her bff. My daughter is currently on the phone with her and the little girl just asked for our address. We have taken every precaution to make sure they dont get our address....unlisted, no forwarding address, renting, kept old cell numbers etc. I know for a fact that they will give the other old neighbors our address, and they only live 40 min from us. I am not being paranoid, these people are nuts. Im not sure what to do or what to tell my daughter about giving this girl our address. Please help--TIA.
Thanks for the responses so far. My daughter is 7. I think I am just having the mom guilt. My daughter has drawn her some pictures and mailed them, and this little girl cant send us anything back. I had thought about the PO Box, but really dont want to pay just so they can send notes back and forth. My mom has a po box and I had thought about giving out hers, but it is in the city we live in, so they would be able to find us (I feel like im in witness protection :-)) I am hoping as time passes it is out of sight out of mind, but I havent been that lucky yet.
To Grandma T--they probably dont care what we are doing. But knowing that everytime we dropped the price of our house, she immediately texted the neighbor. when we sold our house, she immediately texted the neighbor. The only way for her to know the house sold was for her realtor to look it up (it was under contract, so it would not show sold on any public website--we asked our realtor) That is how nosey she was. i would just rather be safe than sorry. As far as knowing they live 40 min from us, I did inquire with another neighbor because i was worried about our kids being in the same school. Her daughter did tell everybody though, so I would have found out sooner or later.
Ah to bad she can't share an address with her bff. Yeah get a PO box for a bit if you can afford it. That way they can keep in touch. Or skype or facebook.
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Ah! The beauty of email!
PO Box
Does you daughter realize the importance of not sharing your address and numbers?
Um how about just giving her an email address?
How old is your child?
Since my kids were toddlers and knew our information, I taught them to NEVER give out our address/phone number to anyone. No matter who it is. That only Mommy & Daddy can do that.
AND they have to ask us first, for permission.
You explain to the child why.
In simple terms.
It is 'private.'
What is wrong, with simply explaining that that girl's parents, are not nice and have caused trouble for your family?
Me, I don't sugar-coat things with my kids. I explain to them... why or why not, I CHOOSE certain friends or who I mingle with.
They understand and it adds to their own knowledge about people and dynamics. So that THEY can, as well, DISCERN people.
I would have a PO Box for you and your family in a neighboring city...NOT the one you are in...
If she's on a land line with her - they can do a reverse call look up and find out your address that way...If she's calling from a new cell phone - it might give city location as well.
If the people are nuts - sounds like you didn't move far enough and sadly since your daughter is BFFs with them - not sure you'll be able to free yourself of them!!
GOOD LUCK!!
Maybe you could get a PO Box for them to mail things to each other?
You could get her a yahoo account, but I wouldn't. We have moved many times since my daughters were 7 (military). They are resilient and will make more friends. That sounds like I am being mean, but sometimes you have to protect yourself and your children from those kinds of people.
And I bet the nosy one will find another neighbor to victimize. You will be ancient history soon enough. I stopped answering the phone when it was my psycho neighbor. She moved first and continued to call me, I moved and haven't heard from her since.
I think I'd be honest and say that you aren't giving out your address. If someone were to ever tell me that, I wouldn't think much of it. I am a spaz about that and don't even have any reason for it!
Tell your kid the whole deal. I am quite honest with my kids and they're younger than yours. Try email but also try and hook her up with new friends!
If you feel really strongly about encouraging the friendship (from a military brat, I moved on from most of my friends, but I have one from when I was 8, and one from middle school I've kept in contact with)....
Email. Scan and send.
Skype may be another good option (free video chat).
Do you have any friends or relatives in a completely different state? You could have the girl mail her picture there, then have the go-between person put it in a new envelope and send it to you.
I think you should tell your daughter that your address is personal and only YOU are allowed to give it out when necessary.
Too bad your crazy neighbors are in the same state, good grief, what are the chances?
You might need to step out of the box tho and realize they probably could careless about where you are, really. How do you know they are 40 minutes from you?
Tell her she can't give out address. That's life. That said, it is very easy to get the address with a simple google search. Make sure you don't put it on year facebook or have it listed on any other internet page. It is amazing how things get out. Easily your address can be gotten from the county accessor's web page. God luck.
