Motorcycle!?

I don't control my husband nor he I. I don't allow or let my husband do this or that. If this is ever something he wants to do I'll support his decision. That is not to say I wouldn't let my concerns and opinions be known but I would not stand in his way.

My husband is out right now on his Ducati 999R. It was his passion way before we were married. He use to race all over the country including Daytona.

I also had a bike prior to marriage. I gave up riding due to kids. My husband will not give up riding. He knows how I feel but I will not stand in his way either.

I worry about other drivers. He drives 120 miles roundtrip to work in the cornfields, now that really scares me; fast drivers and semi trucks.

Maybe if he gets one, he will get over it fast. There's not many months out of the year that he can ride. And if you really live in Oak Park, it's not fun to ride in that area, most riders like 'country' riding.

Just realize if you keep telling him no, he's going to push harder.

Best wishes

I think it depends on the type of motorcycle.

Tricked out crotch rocket? HELL NO!

Harley? Maybe.

Right now, I'm trying to talk my hubby into letting me get a practical little Honda to drive to and from school... Mostly to save on gas. ;)

Maybe you can compromise, and he can get one of those whatchamacallits that have the two wheels in front, and one in back.

Well the last time I checked, my husband is a "big boy" so I don't "let" him do anything and he doesn't "let" me do anything. We are adults capable of making our own decisions. We consult each other on things. When needed, I definitely express opinions and concerns and hope he would think long-term, but the decision is his. That's how our relationship works.

Before he buys a motorcycle, take out a life insurance policy. The rates will go up if he applies for insurance already owning one. The reason being that it is considered a risky behavior.

Anyway, get a big honking policy. That may prod him to reconsider. If not, then at least you'll be okay financially if something happens.

well...ICU nurses often call motorcycle drivers 'organ donors'...

Just saying.

I would strongly urge him to get a sports car...

I live in a very HIGH accident area. Personally, I'm lucky my husband doesn't have a desire to do this, I would feel the same as you. Personally, I have known a few families who have had bikers killed while riding (I'm an insurance agent), so it hits home for me.

I would NEVER stop my husband from doing what he really loved. However, I would pump up his life insurance for sure, make sure he agrees to wear a helmet (AZ is not law required), not ride at night or in the dark, not ride with the kids, etc. Whatever your "rules" are that you BOTH can agree with.

You don't want this to be a fight with him and him to be resentful because of it. Marriage just simply shouldn't work like that. So get your insurance, set up some rules and let him ride. JMO. Good luck.

As another said, make sure your husband reads this and show him all the controlling women on here that dictate what their husbands do…must be a blissful home.
I ride, I've owned 3. My wife doesn't like it and I respect that a great deal. It would never stop me from owning another but I take it to heart with how she expresses her feelings on the matter. She has never told me 'NO', that isn't how our marriage works. And I will and do honor her requests on this topic.
Share your feelings in a thoughtful, sincere manner and you may get your wish.
If he does proceed with the bike, give him your blessing for pursuing something he wants to do. Don't contribute to any resentment, that 'wall' is a bear to tear down. Good luck.

Yes my husband rides. When I met him, he had three motorcycles and a dirtbike. He sold them all over the years but I'd be fine if he wanted a basic motorcycle again. His fastest monster was a 900cc Kawasaki crotch rocket with a top speed of 175mph and he doesn't have the chops to handle something like that anymore but a basic cruiser that I can ride on the back of would be nice.

I do think they're safe when operated carefully. Of course there are accidents in which the rider couldn't have done anything differently but that can happen in a car too.

Wow, this is a vry timely post for me. A very young co-worker of mine was killed in an accident a few weeks ago. He was on his motorcycle, which he loved, waiting to make a left hand turn when a semitruck hit him from behind and killed him. He was doing everything right, riding safely and had his helmet on, but there was no way he could have lived. I was in an almost identical accident as a passenger in a car when I was the same age as him and I felt lucky to have survived when I saw my friend's destroyed car the next day.

Sadly, we can all drive as safely as possible, but there are other drivers on the road who do not and unfortunately, being on a motorcycle makes a driver more at risk.

As an extra note, I do not live in the Chicago area any longer, I am in Ohio now. However, when I was in Chicago, my boss' husband owned a motorcycle shop. She informed me that her husband had seen so many people injured and killed in motorcycle accidents that he actually did not ride any longer, even though he owned a motorcycle shop.

I wish you luck. I know that we can't control our husbands (or our kids in my case), but maybe if you are able to help him find the right or enough information he will make a decision that you can be comfortable with as well. My brother rides a motorcycle even though most of us are uncomfortable with it. His wife is an RN and knows the dangers, but he has so far been undeterred by all of us. Unfortunately all we can do is hope and pray for him.

Sure. As long as he spends an equal amt on disability insurance and life insurance. And better get that nursing home insurance because I would not be home wiping up stuff.

Tell him he can do it when the kids are both 18.

I had the experience of driving past a motorcycle accident on my way to work. It was a 35MPH speed limit, dry day, slightly overcast. The biker got creamed by a truck that wasn't paying attention and hit him. The biker WORKED AT MY OFFICE. This was about 4 months ago. He is back to work now, with a pronounced limp. He's working at a desk because he's not able to resume his duties yet. He broke his back in 2 places, both wrists, and I think one of his legs. Luckily the back damage didn't injure his spine or he'd be paralyzed.

So hubby can get a bike when he's no longer responsible for providing for his family. The odds of getting hurt on a motorcycle are higher than in a car. It's not worth the risk when you have kids.

You could show your husband this post and all the responses. And even though he is an adult and can make up his own mind, your family and your well-being must be taken into account. There are plenty of disastrous stories out there, so he can pick and choose. But he must decide if it's really worth it.

I will always remember my neighbor who had a 'crotch rocket'. Very skilled and careful. He used to race the BMX bikes, too. That is, before he lost his leg just below his hip.

Nice guy.

Make sure he carries good life insurance.

We have a family friend who is a nurse -- she calls motorcycles donor cycles because of how many people from those accidents wind up becoming organ donors.

We have a family friend who needed a kidney transplant. His doctor advised him to move to FL because there are so many motor cycle accidents there. He did, and he got a new kidney from someone who died in a motor cycle accident.

My neighbor across the street was a competent, strong, athletic, coordinated man. He somehow managed to fall while riding his motorcycle in the street in front of our house. The bike fell on his leg and it broke. He was in a cast for 6 months at age 45ish. As soon as he could walk again, he sold the bike.

I think that adults need to suck it up and realize they have responsibilities to their children. If he doesn't mind the idea of his kids growing up without a father, then he shouldn't mind you tripling his life insurance policy.

My husband had a motorcycle - a touring bike.
He rode it for awhile and then it sat in the garage collecting dust for 10 years.
Where we lived the traffic was too thick and crazy - people just don't 'see' motorcycles - and it made riding them too risky.
He sold it before we moved.
Where we are now, many people have motorcycles.
There are groups that like to go on groups rides through the countryside on a nice weekend.
But my husband is over motorcycles for right now.
Now we have a boat.
And the novelty of that is slowly wearing off too.
We take it out maybe twice a year.
What seems to be all the rage in the neighborhood lately is golf carts.
Neighbors use them for hauling things around their yards (3 acre lots) - they don't drive on the road unless they are crossing it to go to a neighborhood barbeque.
We'd never ever get an ATV.
My mom has a cousin who was off road-ing and jumping dirt mounds on a 3 wheeler when it flipped and landed on top of him right on his chest.
Broken ribs, punctured lungs, lacerated liver - he was in the hospital for 6 months - he almost died.
Talk your husband into getting a gold cart.

Additional:
I worked with someone who's sister died while riding a motorcycle.
She was in her 50's and her kids were grown with families of their own and she had her own motorcycle for her whole adult life.
She lost control of it and slid a long way down the road with the motorcycle on top of her.
But that wasn't what killed her.
It was the 2 cars behind her that ran over her while she was on the pavement that killed her.
Her family was philosophical about it - she died quickly while doing something she loved.

I am totally against motorcycles. They are simply deadly.
We have scraped more friends and family off the pavement than I care to mention. Our dear babysitter died in a motorcycle accident.
I've told my children that I don't want them on motorcycles - I don't care who is driving or how much gear they have on.
If my husband came home wanting a motorcycle, I'd triple his life insurance and then I'd have his head examined.

I would encourage you to read some statistics. MOST fatal motorcycle accidents are due to operator error. And an even greater number involve alcohol. And, although a motorcycle crash at more than 35 mph is more likely to be fatal, the ACTUAL CHANCE of a motorcycle even being involved in an accident is MUCH LOWER than an automobile.

I'll also say that you saying you trust your husband but not the other drivers on the road is like saying you trust him, but not his co-worker.... It's bull and a cop-out. You either trust him to maneuver his bike safely on the road and avoid an accident or you don't.

Also, I second what others have said.... I don't "let" my husband do anything.... Nor would I tell him "no". He's grown.

There's a reason the nurses call them donorcycles, I'd be a big no too. Despite HIM doing great on the safety course, the rest of the drivers on the road are probably not as aware of their surroundings. My dad got one a few years ago (total mid-life crisis), he flat out refused to let my husband drive it or even go for a ride on it. His rationale was that his kids were grown and self-supportive, ours weren't. Fortunately he didn't have it long before he got bored and sold it. I hope your hubby's fascination is short lived, too!

No. I know so many dead from them. Don't let him do that to his kids and family.

I'm really surprised at a lot of the answers and I'm a bit perplexed. My husband rode a motorcycles for years commuting to work. He did have one minor fender bender on the surface streets of San Francisco, where we lived at the time. I considered him to be a very safe driver. He had a sport bike (non-harley). If he wanted to do it again I would encourage him. However, in California, helmets are mandatory. We recently moved to Illinois and we see far fewer motorcycles and people often don't wear helmets. You must wear a helmet. To not wear one is suicide. Since your hubby is from Cali he may understand that. As always, it's common sense and being a defensive rider. I think that older men take fewer risks while riding than younger men, same as more young people get into more auto crashes that older people. My aunt and uncle have ridden for years (they are in their late-70's) my other uncle rode for decades. I know no one who died in a motorcycle crash. I vote for your husband.

I would buy my husband a Corvette before I'd let him have a motorcycle. If he needs this kind of mid-life crisis type of thing, it at least has to have 4 wheels!

Let him! There are worse mid-life crisis he could have. He took a safety course for goodness sake and he rode as a younger man. 4 of my 5 brothers ride - they have since they were teenagers. THey take wonderful trips together.

I understand the ER nurse who sees the horrendous accidents. I also see some very risky horrendous behaviour on the roads in the city, I am sure they are correlated.

BTW - it could just be a need to get back in touch with his free spirit siide. It may very well sit in the garage if he has no riding pals. And depending on where you live, like Chicago, we have a very short riding season

Express your safety concerns, support his need to stay in touch with his yound side.

I had a motorcycle when I was first married. But I had it because of the fuel economy and we were very poor and going to college. It cost me about 50 cents per week (25 cents per gallon) to run this motorcycle.

When I graduated and got my first full time job (US Army) we sold the motorcycle. I bought my next motorcycle when all 8 of my kids were on their own, married and working.

I bought it for fuel economy. I was getting 65 to 75 mpg on my motorcycle. My truck was getting 16 mpg. We paid for the motorcycle with the fuel savings in less than a year.

I never worried about me or my driving. I always worried about the person driving the car or truck that didn't see me or just didn't care. I never weaved in traffic to try and get a better position in stalled traffic. I was a very defensive driver.

As for your husband, express your concerns and take it from there. I knew one wife that was concerned enough that she asked her husband if he would rather chase her around the house or go out riding his motorcycle. According to her, he chose her over the motorcycle. He just smiled when he heard her story.

Good luck to you and yours.

I love motorcycles.

My husband does not have one. I would not want him to get one. I can't control him, but he knows I am strongly against it. He has mentioned it in the past as an interest, but I told him how I felt about it and so now he just kind of jokes about it. I do not think they are safe and for a grown man to be doing something so dangerous when he has a family to take care of just seems crazy to me. I'm on your side :)

We ride. But we do not own motorcycles. We don't have the room for them.

My best friend and her husband both have motor cycles.

Do I think they are safe? yes. especially when rode properly and outfitted properly. There will ALWAYS be stupid people and bad drivers.

If my husband wanted to buy a bike, would I stop him? Nope!! GO FOR IT!!

My dh would love one ... someday. Not going to happen while the kids are young (mutual decision). I'll keep you in my prayers. :)

If your kids are adults I might not love it but I would prob give in. If they aren't grown then no. I think something like50% more mc die than car crashes.

No idea how u reason with him though

Get a really good life insurance policy on him.

He is a grown man, he knows what he is doing. My problem is not trusting the other drivers out there. They do not look for motorcyclist. Which means your husband has to be very alert and over cautious.

I totally understand how you feel.

If you have had a real conversation with him about your concerns and feelings, but he is still gung ho.. Not sure how you could stop him.. or if you would want to stop him. This is his choice, just as if you wanted to jump out of a plane, ride on a giant roller Coaster.

Heck I could walk out my front door and slip and break my neck.. But if my husband or I have a real passion, we support each other.