I will be spending lunch with my husband and his mother( I can't stand where we are going, but that's beside the point!). Afterwards, my husband, kids and I, will be doing what I want and then we are taking my mother out for dinner.
I understand that I am not the only one who gets recognition on this day and that one day our mothers won't be around and we will have plenty of mothers days to ourselves. My MIL is 84, so I respect the fact that my husband probably doesn't have too many more years with her.
My husband also asked me last week what I wanted to do for me on this day. I told him what I wanted, knowing that I would be seeing his mom AND my mom also. It isn't just about me!!
I think you should sit down with your husband and talk to him, because he shouldn't have told you what you two are doing, you two should have talked about it. But then again, if you don't ever tell him what you want, then maybe he doesn't know what you'd really like to do. On the other hand, if you are handling it the wrong way, it can backfire on you like it always did for my mom. My mom always thought my dad shouldn't care about mothers day (for his mom) since he was all grown up, so in return, my father wouldn't do anything for my mom on mothers day and tell her she wasn't his mom, so why should he do anything for her. It wasn't right, but her attitude contributed to her treatment. BTW, they are now divorced.
I think we all need to be supportive of the mothers in our families and take time out for each of them, no matter how often you see/talk to them.
Update: I bet you will feel differently than you think when you are older, when you only get a card or a call on mothers day. You will think your DIL's are being selfish. It's easy to justify your feelings now and say you'll do something different later.