Am I wrong...mothers Day Drama!

No, I don't think you're wrong. She is his mom but you are the mother of his son. There's no reason he couldn't have gone to see his mom for a bit, then had some alone time with you as well. She is acting like a brat.

No you have every right to ask for some time as just a family. Today I told it to my husband and he was fine with it and I told my family and they were fine with it. For me I like to spend some time with my MIL and with my mom and then it is time for just "my family".

I can't believe how many posts today are centered around this stupid "holiday". The origin of mother's day is to pay homage to your own mother, not for a husband to pay homage to his wife as a mother, or for moms to act like queen for a day. So go pay homage to your own mother. Let your husband do the same for his. You kids will learn through your example, and when they are old enough, they will do the same for you.

If mamas need what is now a greeting card/ flower industry commercialized day to feel good about being a mama, or to be able to take time with their families, then something much bigger is in need of repair.

Please google the origin of Mother's Day so you can see what its true intent was.

What I think is that it's not worth the trouble. The 2nd people get into any kind of tizzy the holiday is ruined. When I was young and yes immature I thought that holidays, birthdays, anniversaries, and other special occasions should be a certain way. Heck, I even though that my best friend would remember my birthday since it's only 7 days after hers and I made a big fuss over hers.

If you want the hard truth, here it is. Some people are good at making people feel special. Others, not so much. It's not worth the struggle. If someone makes you feel good and strokes your feathers the way you want, be thankful. If not, do it for yourself. Curl up on the couch with a good book or movie and put the cleaning off until tomorrow. Do you know how many of us have to work today? There are millions of people in the world living in grass huts on dirt floors and some mothers in this world will hold their dying children today. You have MUCH to be thankful for.

You can't change other people, you can only change yourself. You can spend the rest of your marriage upset and miserable with your husband stuck between the two of you, or you can choose to be happy. Mother's day is about you and your kid(s). If your husband wants to be part of that day then he can. Otherwise, spend it with your baby. Create a tradition. Take your little one to a seafood restaurant. Let your husband go spend the day with his mom. Let him either step up and be by your side, or not. Either way your happiness on this day does not depend on him.

Tangela:

Why are you giving her soooo much power and control over your life?

Here's my take - if you chose to make it a problem, it WILL be a problem. Mother's day - yeppers - it's about mothers and you are one now...your child is too young to do anything for you - got it. However, you are NOT your husband's MOTHER....there's where the problem starts...Hallmark and flower shops make a BOAT LOAD of money to celebrate Mother's Day...in that - it just causes sooo much heartache be we have, what MANY CONSIDER, unrealistic expectations.....not to say you are wrong - but you have set yourself up for disappointment.

Instead of setting up these expectations - take YOUR MOM out to lunch for Mother's day and just let it slide....the problem with "special" days like this? We get set up for disappointment - so instead of setting yourself up =- take control and do what you want to.

DO NOT fight with your MIL over your husband - LET HER BE THE SCHOOL KID!!! YOU be the adult. ONLY YOU can let yourself be hurt. One day your husband will wise up and realize that your child is too young to do anything for you and he will step up...

another thing to keep in mind - once the words have escaped your lips? You can't take it back. You ARE NOT THE BAD GUY here... however, since your hubby is a momma's boy - he doesn't get how you are feeling....instead of making a big deal over Father's day (this sounds sophomoric) but don't do a damn thing for him...if he asks you why - say I'm NOT YOUR FATHER.....and if he states our child is too young...you can say LIGHT BULB!!! Dear - think about that for Mother's day.....

GOOD LUCK!!!

You cant get between a son and his mom on Mother's Day. You are not his mother.
Your husband is showing your child a good example that he cares for his mom on Mother's Day, and I'm sure as the years go by and your son gets older Dad will be making sure there is a gift for you from your son on Mother's Day.
I think it's showing good character for your husband to want to do for his mom on Mother's Day.
Mother's Day was made specifically for this type of thing. Sons and daughters get married and move away and stuff, and this one day out of the year is usually a guaranty that mom's get to communicate with their child in one way or another.
So, yup, I think you are wrong coming between them on Mother's Day. I think you should tell your husband youre sorry.
One day your son will be a grown, married man. Trust me, you will want his attention on Mother's Day much more than you will want your husbands attention.

What is wrong with these mothers??? I could never imagine causing drama in my grown sons family. It ridiculous. Making your son choose between you and his wife. Its weird and selfish. Its time to cut the cord! Good luck!

this is my point of view...and I'm not very good at holidays....but is his mother and don't see the problem, I know your a mother too, and soon you will have your kid celebrating the whole enchilada with you...
I'm sorry this is silly for me , instead of making a big deal have fun and enjoy your day...

You do not owe your mother in law your whole day. You are a Mom too. You were not being unreasonable.Your husband needs to remember his wedding vows. Forsaking all others? His allegiance is to you now.

My husband is a good father. He's a good husband. He's a good son-in-law, friend, worker, and citizen. He's also a very good son. Think about this.

I always have a crappy Mother's Day. He rarely plans anything out, not even for his own mother. He leaves all of that to me. It takes some heavy reminding for him to do something and guaranteed it always falls through. Whatever, my life is a sitcom so I deal with it.

This year we were going to handle things differently. Last night we spent time with his family for a Confirmation Party for our niece's Confirmation. It was lovely. We even brought his father to my SIL's house for the first time since he was placed in a the nursing home down the street. It was supposed to be our family's recognition of MIL for today's Mother's Day, and then one of my other SIL's was planning to take her out to lunch.

Best laid plans.

My FIL didn't understand why he was back at the nursing home and was desperately upset. He's 83 with dementia, Alzheimer's, a bad heart, one working kidney, a failing liver (from old age), and he's very weak. It was so bad that it took him hours to settle back in. Do you want to know how good of a son my husband is to his mother? He sent her back home with his sisters so she could sleep and rest for Mother's Day today and my husband slept over at the nursing home last night. I traveled 30 home with my 3 daughters in the dark, stopping at the grocery store for fricking yogurt for my Autistic daughter because she won't eat anything else lately, and got home at almost 10:00. He didn't sleep well last night at all, but my SIL picked him up this morning so my MIL could make him a huge breakfast in thanks.

I'll pick him up at 12:30, hug my MIL with all my might, and then go to visit my mom. Then we'll visit with my best friend, have some pizza, let the kids play, and I'm going to have several glasses of wine.

Best laid plans. Indeed. My children are being amazing today (mostly ha ha), and I adore them to pieces. They made me jewelry and crafts and are being loving to each other. They've been playing together. My eldest and youngest take care of my middle daughter. I look at them and I'm proud of them and I know I'm a good mother, although they're probably good girls in spite of me sometimes. :-) And do you know what? I'm proud of my husband for loving his mother this much. And in all of this he's teaching our daughters to honor us this much when we're old and need to be cared for too no matter what day it is.

You are not just going to have a crappy mother's day, you are going to have a crappy life if your hubby doesn't make you and your son (immediate family) his priority. This is not on her end mostly, he is a momma's boy! I would work on making changes with him but you have your work cut out for you.

I can actually understand both sides. He has a great relationship with his mom, and he is showing his kids that he is honoring his own mother. My MIL every year for herself goes on a trail ride, we know this and we don't bother calling for a few days. I like that she does something for herself every year. I would also love to do that, just not sure what yet. Unfortunately my hubby's birthday sometimes falls on Mother's day (like this year). We deal with it. We really do not do much for his birthday (I do try) nor do we really do anything for mother's day for me. At least you don't have it like I do. My own mother expects phone calls and cards every year, yet she never sends cards or calls (for any holiday including my children's birthdays). Go figure! We all just need to deal with it, it is what it is!

I say be careful here otherwise your child will think of mother's day as the day we celebrate grandma.

This year I have really felt mother's day lasting the whole weekend. People were saying Happy Mother's Day to me and other people on Friday. (?)
So I guess the lesson I learned this year, it doesn't have to wait till Sunday.

You can teach your child to say it and then she will naturally want to do something for you. Let her fix your hair, draw you a picture and as she gets older she will do more and more on this day.

Try to enjoy! and Happy Mother's Day to you.

Your husband is acting like his mother's son instead of his wife's husband. Maybe you should point out to him that the Bible states that "for this purpose, a man shall leave his parents and cleave to his wife." His first priority, after God, is TO YOU, then HIS CHILDREN, and his parents are about on the same wave as neighbors. Honoring ones parents involves proving what a "good" job they did raising you, and treating your spouse the way they deserve.

Do not reciprocate. Give him a wonderful Father's Day, and maybe he'll get it.

nope, asking for alone time with your husband is never wrong. Since he married you, you are now his family and he should place you and your child above all others. Mother's day is a special day and he should make you feel that. It is fine if he wants to honor his mother tomorrow and you should support that; however, he should not make you feel as though you come second. I hope you can resolve this issue with him or at least do something to treat yourself! Happy Mother's Day!!

SKinds like he needs to cut the cord.

i don't have much family, or even a husband, so my little family (me, 2 yr boy, dog) ALWAYS have alone time...but even then, i STILL want alone time tomorrow! number 1 - you're right b/c it's MOTHER'S day and it should be what you want within reason and number 2 - that's NOT a huge request. of course you wanna be w/your immediate, household family on mother's day. i know i do! all we're doing is going to church then just being together the rest of the day & that's how i want it.
i'm sorry...it's so hard to not let him screw it up, but until things are fixed w/y'all, focus on your sweet boy/G. & how you'll spend it w/him/her...even if it's just chillin' together on a sunday like you always do. i'm obviously not married, so i can't give GOOD marriage advice, but i'd say, plan on the day w/your child and maybe spouse will come around...if not, at least you've got special time w/your baby, which is seriously, honestly, REALLY all that matters. (not even as much as time w/your husband matters). just my opinion mama!
happy mother's day (for what it's worth!) :)

I don't get what is taking a "mento" to a seafood restaurant is...... AND, WHY would YOU care what YOUR husband does for HIS mother? That IS what Mothers Day is, Isnt it? Its not for your Husband to celebrate his wife.....Mothers Day is about YOUR mother...not other peoples.....IOW...YOU are NOT his Mother....

I've always felt like I'm not my husband's mom, so I don't feel he needs to do something just from him to me, but when the children were small, I appreciated him seeing that they made my day special. He was always thoughtful enough to thank me for being his children's mom, but I wanted his main focus to be his mom on Mother's Day, and the kids could focus on me. When we do get to celebrate together, we do something we all enjoy and have a good time being together. While you don't need to spend the entire day together, maybe you could have your alone time later in the evening. Just enjoy being a family; no need to draw battle lines. Hope you are able to work this out and enjoy a happy Mother's Day.

There is nothing wrong with wanting "me" time. If you really want alone time to refresh and rejuvenate yourself..you should. Whether your hubby likes it or not. Maybe you could pick the lunch or breakfast spot and let the grandma pick the dinner spot. Hope it all works out.

I think you compete just as much as she does. He's caught in between 2 woman that want o be #1. Of course, you have to be 1st priority, but realize that you are testing his loyalty the same way she is.
It's time for all 3 parties to realize that you are not competing for the same spot. She is the only mother he will ever have and worthy of respect. It's ok that he fuss over her and take her where she wants to go. You are the one and only mother of his children and worthy of respect and to be fussed over anf taken where you want to go. If the 2 of you cant agree, than be grown ups and compromise - take garmma where she wants for brunch and mom where she wants for dinner. Or take gramma where she wants on Mothers Day and she can offer to keep the kids while you two go on a movie date after. Dont ask a man to choose between you and his mother, just work it out. Compromise.

Sounds like HE needs to cut the cord and she needs to deal with it. The two of you should honor your mothers (gift, card, and include them in other plans IF you want to) but it doesn't mean that you have to include them in the WHOLE day. You are his wife and mother of his child so he should also be helping your son to honor you.

No, I think you're right!

I wish husbands would help the very young children to help find Mom a gift or flowers or draw a card. Usually i received from my children Mother's day gift from what ever they made at school or church. I always go out of my way to help my children find a Father's Day gift from a bbq pit, to a PS2 games.

Early in our marriage i asked my husband what he planned for Mothers Day for me and he sternly said, 'you are not my Mother' , . . . oooookay and i got butt hurt.

So let your husband go with his Mom to where ever, and do your own time alone with ur child with or without mama's boy, lol.