More on Free Range Kids-why Are We So Frightened?

I'm short on time so I'll be brief.
It's RIDICULOUS how fearful people are of stranger danger, especially when the facts clearly show that a child is way, way, WAY more likely to be abused or molested by someone they know and trust.
Family members and family friends top the list of abusers.
"You can't go to Billy's house because we don't know them, but it's okay to spend the night with Uncle Bob"
It makes NO sense :-(

I absolutely LOVE Free Range Kids.

My two are older but I definitely kept a tight rein on them growing up with regard to exploring outside, etc. We live walking distance to the beach and they've rarely been down there with friends, much less alone. When I was a kid I would have lived on that beach.

It definitely puts things in perspective when you look at the statistics.

I keep my child together.We Have like a little duck line from youngest to oldest so i can keep track.I only let my kids wonder if there with an adult i know or its me.Not very reasonable.Don't worry about till it happens(it wont trust me)

Statistics mean nothing when it's YOUR child that is missing.
Adam Walsh was 6 when he went to look at the toys in a department store while his parents were shopping elsewhere in the store.
It's something we did all the time as kids while growing up.
They found his head floating in a canal several weeks later.
They didn't live in fear but they certainly live with the grief.
His disappearance and the disappearance of Etan Patz were contributing factors in the formation of the National Center for Missing & Exploited Children in 1984.

I don't think Free Range Kids looks at all the data/numbers available.

The estimated numbers:

"approximately 800,000 children younger than 18 were reported missing.
More than 200,000 children were abducted by family members.
More than 58,000 children were abducted by nonfamily members.".

http://www.missingkids.com/KeyFacts

You don't have to live in fear - but you don't have to be oblivious to taking safety precautions either.

Free Range Kids is promoting a book and a tv show - they don't do it for free - the purpose is to make money.
Their message is a little too much like playing Russian roulette with something I care too much about.

I do have some fear of it. I was almost kidnapped TWICE when I was a kid. It was terrifying. I will never forget it. The first time I was around 10 and I was about to go fishing with my dad. He left me in the boat while he parked his truck at the dock. There were some guys in a boat next to ours and they kept telling me to come and get in their boat.
The 2nd time I was around 12 years old. I was rollerblading down my street. I was alone and my dad was in the house. I was all the way down my street and some guys in a white car pulled up right next to me and were sitting there watching me. The guy in the pasenger seat opened his door and started to get out, all while just staring at me. He started to come towards me (I was only about 5 feet away). I turned around and sped home as fast as I could. I screamed for my dad and he came outside and the guys in the car drove by and watched me in my garage. Once they saw my dad, they drove off. The next day my mom was telling one of my neighbors about it and they said they have seen them with in that week driving around the neighborhood. I never saw them again.
So, yes, I am a little more protective of my kids than some people. In my experience, it's not that much of an extreme unlikelihood that it would happen. It's very possible and I don't want my kids to be that 1% or 1/2%

Parents believe, because of what they see on TV that todays world is a much scarier and dangerous world. Not true, in reality, child abductions are and have been on the decline. This is even truer when it comes to stranger abductions. Most abductions are parent custody related or in many, many cases from a person you know. Just look at those 3 girls, the guys DD was the bestfriend of one of those girls. He consoled the family, helped in the search.

I do not live in fear of it. I am not blind to the possibility but so much of what I know today is because of some of the freedoms I had as a child. I do not find today to be any scarier then when I grew up, or from when I was raising my older kids. My younger ones do not need me to hold their hand at every corner. They do not need me to watch them cross the street.

I do not feel the need to be on top of them at all times. I feel safe sending my 8 year old into a store to grab a gallon of milk, or having the 11 year old take his younger brother to the bathroom, alone, in a grocery store.

I do not freak if my littlest get's away from me in a store. I do not instantly think someone took her, instead I think like she thinks and find her.

My kids are strong confident individuals, who have turned into strong confident adults who know how to handle themselves. I think balance is the key.

I just use common sense and listen to my gut, per my kids.
No kid is the same as others, no matter what age.
No environment is the same.
No situation is the same.
My kids are kids and play wherever.
But I go by my instincts and gut/common sense.

ie: I am not going to send them somewhere by themselves or have them do things, if I get a bad vibe about it and/or per the circumstances/environment etc.... JUST because I want to be a Free Range parent. I don't, make myself be a Free Range Parent, just to be a Free Range Parent. It is not about *ME* or my wanting to "be" a certain philosophy and making a statement to all who bother to notice.
It is about, my kids and what is best for them. While keeping in mind, the type of kid I have and their own proclivities. No matter what age they are.

I am a parent.
Not a statement.
I am a parent.
Not a reactionary impulse driven parent using only statistics to "decide" for me how I parent.

Free Range Parent or not... our kids learn about life.
And not only by being in a certain type of kids camp or not.

My sister was nearly abducted by 2 men when she was 15 years old. She was waiting for a bus 2 blocks from our house, and 2 men in a van approached her. 1 hid in the back of the van and jumped out and grabbed her. Thankfully, he slipped on the ice and she was able to escape. We've been hypervigilant about safety ever since. When it happens to someone else it is easy to dismiss the statistical probability/improbability, but when it happens to someone in your own family it is much different.

Kids were abducted in the 50s, 60s, 70s etc. Cable TV was non existent. No one knew it there was an abduction. 24 hour news, for rational people is great. But for those that are worriers, it is a nightmare!
Kids played outside and had great childhoods. The fears that parents convey to their children are really unfounded. Stranger abductions are rare. The fears are very unreasonable. Why does an 8 year old need a cell phone and GPS monitor to play in her yard. That is nuts! Give kids back their childhoods. Let them play outside, investigate the world, learn how to solve problems, let them enjoy life please.

Mom2many is spot on. We think alike.

i'm a lot more scared of frivolous lawsuits and bad drivers than i am of pedophiles. and my pedophile concerns center more on family and close acquaintances than stranger danger.
of course one must keep an eye on kids, not let them play in traffic, know where they are etc. but i was a free range kid, and to a lesser degree my boys were free range kids. i hope they let their kids roam the world too.
i think today's kids are growing up stifled, stunted and unhealthy.
khairete
S.

I haven't read all the responses to either this question or the last one, but I have read this book. I will say, I think that she has faulty logic. The crux of her book is, "Why do we have so many helicopter parents when abduction rates are lower than ever?" She doesn't ever consider the idea that perhaps abduction rates are declining precisely because there are so many helicopter parents.

I am not suggesting that being a hovering, smothering parent is the best choice, and I do not live in fear. But I thought it was funny that the subtitle of her book was "How to give our kids the freedom we had without going nuts with worry." My parents were completely paranoid about my sister and me getting kidnapped. We were never allowed to do anything, and I have to fight against that impulse with my own children. We all revert back to what we know, right? But my kids already have way more freedom than I ever had growing up. I don't have to be able to see them at all times when they are with their friends in the park; they can play with each other unsupervised in our backyard. But I wouldn't let either of my kids ever be out of eye or ear-shot of an adult I trust alone at this age (they are 3 and 6). That's as much so that one of them can call for help if the other is hurt as it is to guard against abduction. And that's still a wide range, because I can see and hear pretty far.

We all have to parent the way that makes us most comfortable. As someone who grew up as a decidedly not free-range kid, I am a relatively well adjusted, self-sufficient, and not overly fearful adult. We all just do the best we can.

I repeat, stranger danger isn't a big thing!!!! I keep saying this over and over. Like you said, there just aren't that many of them. It's family members or close friends that take the kiddo's and hurt them most of the time. They teach them and train them then they have them for what ever purpose they want.

My kiddo's are my responsibility. I am supposed to teach them to be independent adults, not other kids... I am supposed to be the one they go to when they can't solve a problem and need some help dealing with it.

Again, kids NEED boundaries to learn to conform and fit into society. They don't learn what they need to learn if they don't have guidance, not a helicopter, but guidance.

One of the research papers I remember reading in college stated what happened when a team observed a group of school kids on their own schools playground. They watched them for a period of time. Then they took the fence down. Their theory was that the kids would be comfortable enough with their surroundings that they would play the same way they had been playing, no change.

What happened surprised them all. The kids played in a huddled mass near the center of the playground for the period of time the fence was down. They were told they could go play where ever they wanted but they didn't go out of this small area.

The group decided that the kids didn't have clear cut boundaries and felt insecure so they huddled together so they'd feel secure. I think this goes to show that kids like knowing where they stand, where they are safe, what the rules are, and what the consequences will be.

They need this to develop. I am NOT saying they need someone right there all the time, I am saying that parenting is not either being a helicopter or letting the kids out the door in the morning and not letting them back in until nightfall. They need to parent somewhere in between.

Giving clear instructions about where they can play, what they can play with, and when they're expected to be back in the house are simple rules for kids that live in safe neighborhoods and that haven't been exposed to sex on TV, in magazines, or other ways.

A girl 2 years younger than me in my childhood neighborhood, which was safe and small, lost her virginity around 11-12 years of age. Right in her own backyard. She told me her and the neighbor kids, 2 boys just older than her by a few months, and their sister, a year older, routinely saw "R" rated movies. It was the 70's so there was sex in them. Naked bumping groins under the covers with boobs showing sex.

They acted out the movies in the playhouse in her backyard. They did lesbian sex, oral sex, and vaginal sex. I guess if the internet was around and they had seen anal sex they'd have tried that too.

So they went all the way several times. She had no idea what they were doing, she had helicopter parents who were always looking out the window checking on the kids. I was on the other end of the block and wasn't allowed to go in her backyard. When she was out front we all played together in the front yards and street on our bikes and roller skates all day.

So based on my experiences with stories from others and research I have done on the internet I would not let my kids roam freely in the neighborhood without them having to stay within the sound of my voice if I was calling them or if they got hurt and were trying to get help. I let the kids play outside when they want, they have about 10 acres in this neighborhood they can be in. Each and every parent in this area keeps an eye on each others kids. If they're in my yard I have the window curtains open so I can see them. Mostly to make sure only one person at a time is on the trampoline.

If they are in the neighbors across the streets yard she, or her hubby, is usually sitting outside doing gardening or other yard work. If the kids are down the street where they have a pool the parents are sitting where they can see the pool and that no one is getting in.

The houses up the street are mostly younger kids so our kids only play out front with them. I don't want the big kids to accidentally hurt anyone.

Our kids are watched but not in an overt way. If a strange car comes on the street and acts oddly you can bet that you'll see several parents just meander out their door within a moment or two. That's how closely we watch them but we're not out there being overtly supervising them.

I think parents are using fear as an excuse to not parent.

I remember when I was two and a half, there was a family moving in across the street. I asked if I could go outside and mom said yes. I sat at the end of my driveway. Who would become my best friend growing up saw me. We chatted from the ends of our driveway. See the rule was we were not allowed to leave our yards so we didn't. Her mom saw us talking and said she could play in my yard so we played in my yard.

The only thing that has changed in forty years is that we do not make and enforce rules anymore. The world of predators hasn't changed at all. We knew if we left the yard we would not be allowed out for what felt like forever and we wanted to go out! We were taught very young the consequences of our decisions and they were *our* decisions if we disobeyed. It wasn't mom wasn't watching us so we did something we shouldn't! Nope if I had left the yard I and I alone was responsible for that decision.

I can assure you my mom felt no guilt in grounding me. She didn't think she failed as a parent because I disobeyed, nope, I failed as an obedient child.

We have lost that. So rather than feel a failure parents watch their children to make sure they do everything they want them to do. It fails to take into account you have now raised children who can figure out right from wrong without their parents.

Really if I had raised my kids like that I would be terrified they would be kidnapped because they wouldn't know how to protect themselves. Parents think because they tell their kids stranger danger and all of that that their kids know what to do but if you don't set them free to make decisions those are only words.

My kids could wander at two because they knew if they wanted to explore there were rules that could be followed.

I don't worry about abduction because if someone wants to take my kids bad enough they would do it. My kids, because they think, because they are aware, are bad targets. The only way they would ever be in danger of being taken is if someone really wanted them and as I said they would figure out how to do it. Considering no one would ever want any one kid that badly I don't worry at all.

Not sure if that made sense but that is my two cents.

I haven't looked at the link yet and will probably have to update when I do, but I like your question about fears of abduction.

I remember when I was younger my friends and I explored everywhere. We walked to the pool, parks, playgrounds, store and sometimes we walked just to walk. I often walked to school with my brother, but b/c I often wanted to watch Jem on tv he would leave me and I'd walk by myself. :)

We were all fine. I mean there is always that chance something bad will happen, I try not to focus on it. I want my kids to have a fun, happy and of course safe childhoods. I try to let go some. I give rules etc and teach them about not talking to strangers etc.

See I've thought about it a lot. I see so much stuff on tv and the internet that it can make you go mad! I often wonder if things are really that much different/dangerous than when I was younger or if b/c of social media it's discussed more, reaches more people, and therefore seems like it happens more.

I don't know the answer, but I just try to relax and let my kids enjoy life, with rules and boundaries but freedom.

I'm not free range, but I'm not frightened. Two of my children have impulsivity issues. One, related to her ADHD and ODD. One, related to her Autism and ADD and other developmental issues. It's taken longer than with my typical child to reinforce common sense safety rules.

But I also have the fact to consider that at 10 years old, my autistic daughter has a much, much higher likelihood of being kidnapped, abused, lost, and injured than other children her age. Simply because of her developmental delays. Add to that the fact that she's an eloper/wanderer and doesn't even realize it.

Children, teens, and adults with Autism are 75% more likely than others to be susceptible to these dangers and need to have supervision more than the average. There are limited instances where my 10 year old can be unsupervised. When she's outside, I go with her but I can engage myself in benign neglect by bringing out a book or the computer or something. She might know the rules for safety, but she's still unable to follow them and proves it frequently.

I can trust my other daughters more, so I do. But I also know that in our area there have been recent kidnapping attempts and flashers and men following young girls walking home from school. There have been news reports on this. Parents calling other parents about it. My best friend's daughter escaped being kidnapped last year from the end of her own driveway. A friend and I were almost kidnapped from the morning bus stop in elementary school. Within the past several months, in my state locally there have been several attempted kidnappings by strangers.

I'm not living in fear based on statistics. I'm not living in fear at all. I AM using common sense, and I'm not going to allow so-called free rangers to downplay very real concerns.

I would never let my 11 year old daughter walk to a store a couple of streets away. She does not go accross the street without me watching. The world that is around now is not the world we use to live in. When I was 11 I was walking home alone from school and it was over half hour walk. We use to play in the woods and not come home till it was dark. I keep remembering that little 6 year old that was walking home with her sister and a bunch of other kids home from school. The 6 year old had a fight with her sister ran off. She never made it home.She was found in dump dead a few weeks later. Just in the news about those grown woman who were held hostage for 10 years. OMG if a teenager cannot fight off an attacker what chance does a 9 or 12 year old child have. Statistics show the major danger age is 9 to 12 because the crazies see them as easy marks. I remember that 11 year old girl on west coast of Florida where the man got into the back of the house and stole her right out of her bed.

M.:

I didn't answer the other question on free range...guess I should.

Yes. My children are allowed to have free play outside. We live at the end of a cul-de-sac...one of the reasons we chose this location.

My children are NOT allowed to split apart. They are allowed to go to the park alone. My oldest (13 years old - is a black belt in Tae Kwon Do)has his own cell phone.

My youngest is a "tattler" - LOL - if his brother wanders off? I hear about it!! And he's a blue belt in Tae Kwon Do.

Would I allow them to walk to the store alone? Yes. I have. When our store was two blocks away. Now? No. It's a good 2 miles one way.

Have I considered the likelihood of my children being abducted. I will not live my life in fear. Nor will I allow my children to live their lives in fear. Knowledge is power. They know not to "help" a stranger or anyone really - find their dog. They know NOT to give directions to an adult. They know not to "test" a smell from anyone - whether it be at the mall or anywhere....

Are your fears founded? Yes. We have enough psychos in the world, however, as you have pointed out - more abductions are done by someone familiar and not stranger....

Well, my SD has been followed in our neighborhood (which we reported). We tried to teach the older kids to be aware and savvy. Even if they are not abducted, even the "safe" part of town has had its share of muggings. One of our 20 something friends was beaten up last year. We did allow the sks to go to friend's houses, but we wanted to know who and why and what and where. Call when you arrive and when you leave, at least in middle school. They didn't go wandering when they were 5. More like 9 or 10. We did not think handing a 7 yr old a $20 and sending her to the shopping mall through two busy parking lots when she could not be trusted to walk herself to school was a Good Idea (we got reports from other parents that she was nearly run over in the school parking lot). So all kidnapping concerns aside, sometimes it's just about safety.

I do think they had more boundaries than I did as a kid, and I did not feel they were unnecessary. They also had more opportunities when they were older. Within reason, they learned the local public transportation system and were mobile that way whereas I was stuck borrowing Mom's car and living in nowheresville.

I guess I feel like the term Free Range in this context is a little more hands off than I want to be. I prefer a middle ground between the "I don't know, he's just out somewhere" and "I need to stay at the playdate with my 11 yr old." Even when my DD is under my supervision, it doesn't necessarily mean she's not allowed to climb that thing, or isn't encouraged to figure out her own issues between herself and her friends.

I grew up as "free range" as one can get; I'm assuming as most of us did. For me, that was the 70's and 80's (born in 1969). For as much fun as it was, it also holds a few bad (and scary) memories, that I have carried with me into adulthood, and now parenthood. My story is similar to Candice M's; I was almost kidnapped TWICE! Both instances were walking home from school. First time: I was in 3rd grade walking on the sidewalk with another girl class mate making our way home just outside of our neighborhood (actually I could see my house from across the lake), and a black Lincoln town car type vehicle, with black tinted windows pulled along side us, in the wrong lane (opposite of traffic) and the back door opened.. a man in a dark suit, dark short hair extended his hand and started to get out, while saying something but I don't remember what, all I remember is the both of us girls looking at each other and dropping our books and RUNNING home as fast as we could! Her house was before mine, and I had a good while running, scared all alone. The car didn't follow us into the neighborhood. I told my mom and we drove back to pick up my books. The second time I was in 7th grade (different city); It was planned that I was getting off the school bus at a friends stop to go to her house after school, she lived on a dirt road. We got of the bus and were walking toward her house when a little, beat-up red car pulled up close to us and the driver door opened, he was alone and wearing nothing but a red plaid shirt and a hard on, saying "hey come here", this time, we both looked at each other and laughed and ran, but when I think back about that, how freaking scary! Another thing happened when I was around that same age, I was with my mom shopping at the mall and a man wearing SHORT shorts squatted down next to me, pretending to look at stuff exposed himself to me! NASTY! Funny thing is, none of this ever came to mind or bothered me enough to scare myself out of living life (I was young, naive and raised "free range"), but now that I have my own daughter, a 5 year old, and times are even worse, you bet your damn dollar that I am WATCHING her! So, to answer your question, I think my fear is very reasonable. BUT, I don't and won't shelter her, she needs to know about the world- good and bad, and be able to be a kid too... Oh, and just like you, when I can't see my DD while out shopping at the mall or where ever, because she bouncing around, I FREAK OUT! LOL...

It totally depends on the kid and where you live. When we go see my husband's side of the family...everyone lives in the same area and the kids play outside alone all the time. We live on a cul-de-sac, but people still fly in and out of there. So my kids play outside when we are siting outside with them or at least have a door open so we can hear them. They never venture far, but still.

My kids know safety and know the rules, but it's not them I'm worried about. It's the crazy people out there who I don't trust - and I'd rather keep an eye on my kids than go to bed without having all 3 kids home safely. Sorry, but I just can't take it. I don't helicopter them, but they don't go where they want when they want.

My kids are 9, 8, and 6.

I don't live in fear. At best it's a VERY remote possibility that ones child will be a scared, etc.
Don't assume that everyone whose kids aren't wandering about aimlessly are raised in fear. They're not.
Fads come and fads go.
This phenomenon has had many terms over many years: coddled, overprotected, tight apron strings, failure to cut the cord, etc.
At the end of the day, it has always been about teaching values, using good judgement, and giving freedom as it is appropriate at every age.

Updated

I keep good watch. Really good watch. To me, my 5 are too precious to even take the one-off chance that our bad luck that day meant one of them were taken, or hit by a car, or swallowed bleach because I wasn't paying attention. Believe me, enough already happens when I think I AM watching!

As someone else said, when its your kid, the statistics don't matter. We terach all the stranger danger stuff, but its my job to make sure these little people make it to adulthood. I take my job seriously. No cup of coffee or 15 minute snooze on the couch is worth their lives.

These are great questions.

Speaking for myself, I have to say that I don't have a high fear of child abduction. I think there are plenty of awful people out there, but I also think you have to be absolutely nuts or desperate to abduct a child-- and there aren't that many of those folks out there. I believe that quite a few abductions are more 'wrong place at the wrong time' sort of events, like a carjacking with a child in the car. Most people stealing a car really wouldn't want extra passengers. It's not logical.

And there are plenty of common sense things we can do. When I'm at the checkout at a store, I have my son stand where I can see him. However, this is actually about keeping an eye on him (little kids don't have that same sense of 'stay out of the way' as older kids do).

Our son is also very quick to talk to strangers. We are working on this, but there is a plus side, which is that he won't be inhibited in asking for help if a situation does arise where he becomes truly lost. We've talked about finding another mom or dad with little kids or someone with a nametag to ask for help. We've also discussed a lot of the 'normal' practices that good adults have: we won't ask you to open the door for us without mom or dad, we won't tell you to come with us unless we are police/firefighters, we won't ask you to help us find your cute animal or your child-- we will find an adult to help us.

I don't worry about abduction. I worry about my son running into the street after a toy or because he sees some other kids. Far more children are hurt and killed by common accidents than by strangers.

You know, I grew up in a glorious time when my little sister and I played openly in the neighborhood with the other kids. All the mom's watched out for us, gave us snacks to eat outside. We spent summers at my grandfather's house and we rode our bikes all over Ukiah, CA. We went to the park alone, and Grandpa always had money for us to go to the swimming pool. We'd stay all day and buy popsicles and come home at the predesignated time for dinner. He had huge property. We would climb the fig tree and pick figs and eat them as we cradled in the branches. He had apple trees and we did the same. He also had a creek at the end of his property. We waded, caught crawdads. In the summer, his neighbor dammed up the creek so we could swim. We walked across the bridge over the creek and went to baseball games that were near a golf course. We found thousands of golf balls in the creek. We had a favorite market we would ride our bikes to and Grandpa would give us money to bring back candy. Grandpa liked candy too. One of our favorite memories is when we brought back bubble gum and he wanted to try some. He cussed a bit because it stuck to his false teeth and we laughed so hard we could hardly contain ourselves.

We were very much "free range" children. My little sister and I rode the bus from San Francisco to Ukiah where Grandpa was waiting for us. We flew on airplanes from San Francisco to go to see our relatives in Tennessee and spend summers there. We were allowed to run around and explore and get dropped off at swimming pools with our cousins for the day.
We had a blast. We always followed the rules. We always came home on time. I wouldn't change my childhood for anything.

Today is decidely different. It depends on where you live. I live in a rural area that is very safe so even though I'm very protective, I allowed my children to be out of my sight.
Just for an adventure, I used to take my kids on the bus to go visit my mother. She would be waiting for us and we would spend a lovely day, then she would take us to the bus stop and we would ride home.
Once my daughter was grown and gone, I would allow my son to ride the bus alone to go see her. He's 10 years younger so I would walk to the bus stop with him, let him pay his money, confirm with the driver what stop he was to get off at. My son was instructed to sit near the bus driver so he was in his sight at all times, and my daughter would be waiting for him to get off of the bus at the proper stop. My son loved being trusted to follow instructions and take that journey alone. And, he loved getting to spend the time with his older sister, just the two of them.

I am a mother. I am always concerned about something happening to my kids. They are 27 and 17 now. My daughter is driving back from San Francisco today after attending a Giant's game. I hope she has fun and gets home safely. I worry about my son and his police activities for the career path he's on.

Mom's always worry, but I think we can't worry to the point that we make our children or grandchildren afraid to explore.

My son scared the hell out of me in a store until I discovered he was hiding from me under a rack of clothes. He could see me, but I couldn't see him and that's the last time he ever tried that. I told him that he scared me and if he tried hiding from me again, I wouldn't look for him, I'd just go home without him. He took me seriously and never did it again. He thought it was a joke, but it's not funny to scare Mommy like that. As a result, he was very responsible after that.

He wanted to ride his bike to school. So....I walked him every day, taught him about crosswalks and stop signs. I gave him a head start and followed him to make sure he was following the rules, which he did. Another mom followed him and her son home from school making sure they walked their bikes through the crosswalks. Fortunately, they didn't have to change the sides of streets, they just had to follow the bike rules down one side of the street the whole way. They did so well that after a while, we didn't even follow them. My son knew that coming straight home was part of his responsibility. If he wanted to play after school, he had to come home first and ask me. There was NO stopping off along the way. He never gave me a reason not to trust him.

It helps that I live in a very rural place and everyone has known my son his whole life. It never happened, but if he were to biff it on his bike, someone would have scooped him up and brought him home.

I used to live in West Linn, OR. I would imagine that Portland might be a bit of a scarier place depending on the area.

My sister lived in a much bigger city not too far from me and she let her son walk around town. My nephew, who is older, always wanted my son to go walking around town with him and I wouldn't allow it. My son was younger, but he was the more responsible one. I love my nephew, but I worried that my nephew might find some mischief to get into or go somewhere off the intended route. It wasn't so much a fear of abduction, but if my son wasn't back when he was supposed to be, I didn't want to have to drive around trying to figure out where they might be. In that case, it was best and easiest for me to just say NO.

Kids need to be aware of dangers. I always told my kids never to approach cars that pulled over by them, never to get near a van that had no windows on the sides or back, never take candy from strangers, never try to help someone find their puppy........basically all the stuff that dangerous people try to do. They've both survived quite nicely with survival skills even though I've given them freedom. Unfortunately, the freedom I was allowed as a child doesn't seem realistic anymore as times have changed and fears have been heightened. However, I think that children should be given the opportunity to learn how to function, carefree to an extent, in the world around them. They will need to have those skills when it's time for them to go out into the world on their own without being afraid.

Just my opinion.

I think we have to keep it in the back of our minds, because it does happen. But I don't think we should live our lives in a bubble "just in case."

Parents will always worry; it's just what we do. The hard part is living despite the worry!

It totally depends on the kid and where you live. When we go see my husband's side of the family...everyone lives in the same area and the kids play outside alone all the time. We live on a cul-de-sac, but people still fly in and out of there. So my kids play outside when we are siting outside with them or at least have a door open so we can hear them. They never venture far, but still.

My kids know safety and know the rules, but it's not them I'm worried about. It's the crazy people out there who I don't trust - and I'd rather keep an eye on my kids than go to bed without having all 3 kids home safely. Sorry, but I just can't take it. I don't helicopter them, but they don't go where they want when they want.

My kids are 9, 8, and 6.

Are there a "mid-range kids"?

I like to think mine are/will be. I know my girl, she's not "environment wise". What she's wanting and what she's thinking are the only things that matter to her. I have to make her stop talking or doing whatever she's doing and remind her to look around. "Oh..you're up to your elbows in soapy water. I guess I'll tell you about my plushie picnic later."

Do I let her out into the yard unattended, yes, now that she's 6. She knows not to leave. When she's older maybe I'll let her go a bit more.

I don't fear abduction, I fear her wandering off with someone. She's that friendly. I constantly remind her "Do not go anywhere with anyone, EVER!"

We don't live in a kid friendly neighbourhood, mostly older couples and families. But I would let her go over to a friend's house if I knew there was an adult there. We don't have sidewalks in our neighbourhood so I'm not sure if I would I let her walk there on her own. I don't know, depends on where "they" lived and if she's been showing better "world awareness".