More Babies??? - Chicago,IL

It is an easy decision for us b/c we don't believe in BC. lol :)
Having a lot of kids can be chalenging at times, but I wouldn't change it for the world. :-D

I always wanted 4 kids. My hubby was good with one! LOL We had 2, he was happy, I forced myself to believe I was done and happy. But in my heart I knew I REALLY wanted a third. My husband had all the logical reasons why we shouldn't. I knew all that but it didn't matter. I knew what I longed for and I didn't want to end up regretting it later in life. So we now have 3 and I love it. Yes, things are a little more difficult, but I don't care. I am so happy and so in love with my kids I wouldn't change it!

Heard the best advice from financial guru, if you are concerned about your financial situation with the kids you already have, dont have another one for selfish reasons of 'always wanting a larger family' etc....wait until you can do it without worry.

If you feel in your gut that you want another baby, go for it! I love kids and want to have as many as God wants me to have-- I am thinking 4 or so. I have two now and would love a third in the next year or two. I think it comes down to: can you provide for a baby? can you give baby what he/she needs? if you answered yes, GO FOR IT! There is no "perfect" time to have a baby-there will always be stuff that will come in the way. If you have a place in your heart for another, go for it. Good luck!

M

I always thought One and Done for both of us, he is thinking he wants another one, I have hesitaiton and said ask again in a year. I think if there are hesitations then you should drop the conversation for a time frame then go back to it if you are still hesitant do it again. I think you both have to be "gung ho!" on it or it's not the right time.

I had 2 boys and then it took almost 5 years to conceive my 3rd child which was a girl. I just had this feeling that I wasn't done having kids. But when she came along, I knew our family was complete! Children are such a blessing and our family wouldn't be the same without our little 3rd sunshine!

We have two and are not having anymore - hubby took care of that for us (thankfully, he stepped up to the plate because he lived through my stressful pregnancies and two colicky boys and did not want me to go through any more stress).

Two are all I can handle - financially, emotionally, and physically. I am always amazed by those who have 4 (or more!). And no ladies, it definitely isn't a slam on you at all. I have a hard enough time with my two kids yet there you are, mom with 4+ kids, handling it seemingly effortlessly and calmly. You're my heroine! Better you than me!

I want to be the best mom and woman I can be and that means only two kids for me. Anything else would be too much for me to handle.

We have 2 boys, 3 1/2 y.o. and 13 m.o. We are not having anymore. Why? Financially, we will be strained if we have another. My husband and I don't want to be outnumbered. It is nice that I can put one to bed while he puts the other to bed. Someday, I can take one to their activity or sport while he takes the other. We really feel complete with 2!

We had 2 and are done. Two adults, two hands, two kids. We are very happy with our family size and feel we will be able to give both our children things that are very important to us - college educations and seeing the world. If we had 3, we may not be able to afford it.

We have 2 children who are teens. We didn't want more for a lot of reasons that I won't go into here, but:
Financially - children get more expensive as they get older.
What you do for one child, you must do for all of them - it's only fair.
The world we know is built for a family of 4.
Cars are made for 4 people - 5 is often a stretch.
Hotel rooms are made for 4.
My children were involved in activities - if we had more than 2 children, they'd not be able to participate. My son did Karate when he was younger and she did figure skating - both are very expensive, but worthwhile activities.
I volunteer with my children's after school activities - I can only stretch myself in so many directions -- fortunately, they do a lot of the same things. Theater, marching band, swim team and more...
Having children is a very personal thing - if you want more and can afford it, do it. If you are worried about finances, don't. When I say they get more expensive as they get older, I'm not kidding!
LBC

Simple, no third because of $$$$$$$$.

I always wanted either 2 or 4, I didnt want my kid to have "only child" syndrome or "middle child" syndrome. We now have 2, who are 18 months apart, and I think in a few years, we'll be ready to have 2 more back to back. Good luck!

Before my hubby and I got married, we always talked about having 3 or 4 children. We now have a 3.5 year old and a 1.5 year old and for awhile, we didn't even talk about a third!! We have started talking about it and both agree we want another child (maybe 2). If my husband was COMPLETELY against having another child, I would accept that even if I didn't feel like I was truly done.

I know many people talk about finances (daycare, diapers, etc). With us, we only have daycare 1 day a week (hubby works weekends) so that is not an issue. Space is often a big issue and as we only have a 2 bedroom house, this is a HUGE issue for me but hubby doesn't seem to mind. He keeps telling me many people in the past have fit more than 5 people into a small house! We will be adding on or moving in the next few years so I think he realizes that too. The third big comment I hear is about juggling time, activities, etc with more than 2 children. Even with two children, there may be a time that both kids have practices and games or activities at the same time. The good thing with two is that the parents can split up and take 1 kid each place. With more kids, you have more to juggle. That is why I'm glad we live close to friends and family. We can enlist them if needed (and I know they will be glad to help out) but it may also mean that we have to alter who can take what class or who can do what activitiy depending on the other children. I realize that is not 'ideal' but you learn to share when you have a large family.

I look at my children and just naturally see another sibling in the mix with them years down the road. I envision many years in the future when my husband and I are gone and see more than just my son and daughter. Sometimes I wish I would just have twins so I'd know FOR SURE after that we would be done! LOL

I think if you want more, you will figure out a way financially, emotionally, etc. True we cannot take as many vacations as a family who only has 1 child...but we want to wait until the children are older and can remember the vacations anyways! True their college may not fully be paid for, but we have started a fund for both of our children and even if not fully paid for, we will have a nice sum available for that and will hopefully be able to pay for the remaining amount. You make sacrifices to have a larger family. But I think it's worth it and that is why I want one. Always have and always will!!!!

People will always make comments and it is true that in most cases, the world was built for four. But I don't like to go with 'what the world has chosen' for me!!!

Good luck!!

We've got our one son and we're happy. He never had to share our attention with another child. When he was sick, there was no scrambling around trying to figure what to do with the other kids when we had to go to the Dr. Daycare for one was affordable and we could afford private school Montessori for him for preschool and kindergarten. There's no juggling of schedules and conflicts between which activity to go to. His collage fund is looking good. His friends with siblings envy him since his toys are where he left them with no siblings to mess with his stuff while he's at school. There's no fighting, hair pulling, bickering, or competing for attention (that was a big problem between me and my sister growing up). Vacations are easy.
Our local public schools are cutting a lot and parents are expected to buy supplies for each child. Classrooms where kids without are expected to use from the pool of supplies brought in by others are coming up short.

we have 3 but our 3rd was a 'surprise', so not planned that way. We thought we were done with 2, and those 2 took a long time to conceive so we were pretty shocked by #3. We were also worried about finances plus we were busting out of our house. I truly think God had a plan for us because my DH ended up with a better job and we moved to a bigger house.
it is a lot of work

You just have to go with your heart. You don't want to regret not having another if you really want another. I have two, age 4 and 2 and am pregnant with my third. I am still going to have to work too, so it will be nuts! And I am nervous and still want to make sure I am able to spend lots of time playing with them and snuggling. My two daughters are the best of friends and I am excited for them to have another friend to grow up with! For us we just knew we weren't done. Financially it makes way more sense to not have anymore, but it will all work out. I can come up with a million reasons not to have another. But in the end, we will find a way to make it work and I have to go with my heart or I'll regret it for the rest of my life. By the way, I don't want my kids to have to sacrifice activities because of they have 2 other siblings, but it isn't a bad thing for them to learn that the world doesn't revolve around them and that you all have to work together and compromise. Go with whatever your heart tells you!

I would have, could not have and wish there had been some way. Just love children, was madly in love with mine and wanted more of them. If you can have more go for it. Fortunately I have mothered thousands of them as I have been a substitute teacher and aide over the years. That got me through. Not the same as having them though.

What a question...I just got remarried. I have two daughters of my own (ages 6yr and 8yr) and I now also have a 9yo. step daughter. Well, in the past my hubby and I have discussed the possibility of having one more child together. We both have the want so deeply in our hearts for a L. boy. Now, I am not crazy, I know there are no guarentees but I would still love to try. We both have the struggle within ourselves in that we already have 3kids together and do we really want to start all over again??? I don't want to regret this either way.... : ( Good luck, it's a tough decision for sure.

Go for it! You will never go back and think "If only I didn't have this last child" but you may live with the "what would life be like if we DID have a 3rd?"

I have 4 children, and we are expecting our 5th in a few weeks. I am the youngest of 6, my hubby is the youngest of 2. We had originally decided that we would like to have 4, but once our 4th was born, we knew we weren't done. Now, just weeks away from this baby, we know we are done, at least biologically.
I LOVED growing up in a big family, and wanted that for my own children. My husband, only having a sister, really wanted to be able to give our son a brother since he never had one. You make things work. My kids are 8, 6, 4, and 1, and we still have 1 in Hockey, 1 in Baseball, and 1 in T-ball. They don't mind going along to practices & games, yes there is some juggling of schedules, but that is life, and could happen with just 1 child.
Honestly, going from 1-2 children was much harder than going from 2-3. By the time we had our 3rd, he just fit right in, same with the 4th. Good Luck with your decision. Only you know what is right for your family. :)

For me, personally, it was an issue of quality over quantity. With my kind of personality, I do better with just 2 kids that I know that I can raise really well as opposed to 3+ where I would be stressed out and winging it all the time. Some women are so much better at handling large families than I would be.

I'm due with #3 and we're thrilled and excited (of course) but I'm also terrified of the logistics of having 3 and being by myself much of the time with the newborn and 2 young children due to my husband's work schedule...and it's really basic stuff like getting out the door, going to the store or taking them to the playground. I already limit some of the things I do with my boys by myself because they take off in different directions at the playground and children's museums. I always wanted three, but my husband always said he was perfectly happy with 2 (and he was one of three kids).

Everyone says you'll always be happy with the third child but may always regret not having the third, but there are very practical reasons that many others have raised that should be considered and not dismissed because they are so "practical." First, space and schools is always an issue living in the city. With schools, if you already live in a good school district, you're already a step ahead. If not, there's the stress of the whole CPS process and the possibility that your children will be accepted to different schools. If you opt for the private route, then cost may be an issue for you.

A dear friend who now has four kids said that your life as a couple definitely takes a hit with the third, and it takes real work to carve out time to be together. We really enjoy traveling and have always taken our kids. We'll be traveling less, partly because it's already such a production with our two, then there's the cost of 5 plane tickets. Think about how your children are spaced. Our 2 boys are 18mos apart, and there will be a 2-1/2yr difference between my youngest and the baby. If you're not in a rush because of your "biological clock," then you have time to wait and see if you're ready to face diapers and a newborn again. I was over 35 with #1 and am 40 with this pregnancy, so that's part of the reason our kids are spaced close together. This pregnancy has been the most physically demanding, and I'm completely drained by the kids' bedtime. I have asked friends who have 3 about the transition from 2 to 3 because I have heard people say #3 was the easiest. My friend with 3 boys, then a girl insists that her friends who had an easier transition to 3 had 1 or 2 girls and that seemed to make a world of difference.

Well, good luck to you. You have to decide, together with your husband, what's best for you and your family.