My son started montessori 3 weeks ago. He only goes 2 half days as of now. He is still going through the adjustment phase , cried a lot first couple weeks, this week he did much better.
I know it's extremely early to see any positive/negative results of attending a montessori. But I am a little concerned.
My reasons for choosing montessori over preschool
1. My son is super active. He just turned 3 , and is much better now sitting in a place for a book/activity. But I have had hard times with him running all over the place. So we thought a montessori work cycle, where kids are allowed to work on any activity they are interested in , would work much better compared to preschool where everyone is given one activity and asked to work on that. So I thought any work he brings home from a montessori would be his, not something completed and sent home by teachers.
2. He is a very social kid. He sees any kid in the park, he starts playing with them and refuses to leave. He used to always look for kids to play with and being a SAHM I felt he really needs interaction with kids his age. And montessori system seemed better in this aspect too because it is not very structured. Learning through play and picking an activity he loves .. sounded perfect!
3. Husband loved the program (from what they explained during the tour)
So we like the montessori (no complaints so far), teachers have been nice so far. I have been told the teachers introduce kids to activities initially and then they just watch kids learn on their own. But I don't understand one thing though. How will this work with kids like mine if they don't pick up any activityat all? I ask my son what he did at school and he says kids were playing/singing and he was sitting in the chair watching them. Of course it's very very early, maybe he is observing everything and soaking it all in.
Today I was told he did great. Didn't cry at all. I asked them if he was interested in any of the activities? And teacher said he did something, she didn't remember what :( I am giving her benefit of doubt, and assuming she wasn't around with him , some other teacher was. But I feel kinda sad not to know what he did while he was there. I want him to have fun as well as learn something too.
The others kids seem very bright , talk very well. When I drop him off in the mornings - the class is very silent , all kids at their desk , busy with different activities. So other kids seem to be doing well I guess. So with time will my son start participating/learning too? At his previous daycare(he was a toddler back then when I was working) , they would leave me a sheet everyday with activities he did/food he ate etc. So it was nice to know how his day went. In his montessori , there are 4-6 teachers , and I can't ask everyone each day.
How does it work with your kids.? He is still not very ok with going to montessori. Somehow going to school or these new friends don't excite him at all. I know it will take time, so my question is what to expect as time goes by? How do I know if my son is thriving or not?
I will discuss with the teacher for sure but it's too early to be asking too many questions. He only goes 2 half days, so I really want to wait some more time and see how it goes. But the mom in me is worried if this was indeed a good choice for my son or not.
Would love to hear your experiences ... Thanks!
PS: I want to add that I have good recommendation for this montessori from a friend. I am not trying to complain against the school or the progrm itself, just wondering what to expect because this is my first expereince with montessori program. It's very different from traditional schooling which I am familiar with, so I am little confused if it would work for us or not.
The teacher knew that if she gave you a blow by blow detail of what he did--that you would expect that everyday. Chill out. He is 3.
PLEASE give it more time. My son is also three, he was not doing well in his last preschool, refusing to do group activities, etc... Something was triggering him to bite, literally. So his previous preschool priced us out, wanting to charge nearly double his tuition so he can have a 'shadow' person. We moved him into montessori under the assumption that he needs to work at his own pace.
It has been 7 weeks now, and let me tell you he has learned more in the last 7 weeks than he did in 2 1/2 years at the other preschool
My husband and I are stunned to hear him make shapes and name them like diamond, hexagon, rectangle, circle, square & tell us the lifecycle of a butterfly. He can name the letters in his name. He is simply happier. Sings to himself, dances; it couldn't be a better fit for him. When he started he would cry, and still does sometimes. The director told me she would give him two weeks to adjust and then have him begin to work on jobs. It really does sound like your son's adjustment just hasn't been long enough. Good luck, you will love it and so will your son.
I put my kids in regular preschool.. it is not like all the kids work on the same thing at the same time. they have a carpet time where there is a story song.. short lesson..(20 minutes..attention span is short)
then the kids are given 3 or 4 choices of the days activities... puzzle at the table.. sand table.. or craft.. they do encourage them to try all of the activities.. but do not force.. my daughter did every craft.. my son did very few crafts..
then it is time for outdoor or indoor large motor activities.. running in the gym.. or outdoor on playground.. snack time.. a bit of free play then go home time..
Personally I would look for a playgroup that you can stay with him. he is too young to understand why you are leaving him. and too scared to really benefit from the preschool experience.. little ones need their moms...
My GD went to montessori for 1 - 2 grades. then she transferred to a traditional school. SHe has has nothing but problems. She is not allowed to just get up and walk around or clap her hands or do whatever she wants in traditional school but she was allowed to do that in montessori. It's been very difficult for her to adjust. She's now ending her second year in public school and it hasn't gotten any better. She was also WAY behind the other kids in public school. At the montessori school, she was at the top of the class. So there is a huge difference in the curriculum.
All in all, I think her paternal grandmother, who paid for the school, did her a HUGE disservice by sending her there. She is still trying to figure out how to be in public school. I wouldn't do montessori. It just does not prepare them for real life.
My experience is that mntessori is more suited to kids who can really focus and are more motivated to do a work: say complete a puzzle than to chit chat wfriends and pretend the puzzle pieces are pirates gold. But honestly u need to give any program a good 3 months when it is part vtime like that.
Both my kids went to play based preschools (one is in preschool now) that are not montessori and they are both what you seem to want in a preschool. I'm not sure why you think only montessori will give you that non-structured atmosphere. They do have circle time (which is short). Besides that they play outside a LOT, take fun field trips, and set up super cool activities where the kids can pick and choose what they want to do. No one is made to do anything. They have large and small motor skill activities. They have a pretend area. A small loft with a ladder that the kids love. They have sensory activities which seem to be a favorite of all the kids. They do all kinds of fun art. They have blocks galore and a workbench and more. They do snack time and sharing and it's all very positive and fun. No one has to sit and be still. If a child gets into sitting and wants to work on something of course they can...but every child is different.
it sounds like it's working just fine to me. some kids take longer to warm up to new situations, and not every little guy is going to leap joyously into a new social group.
montessori isn't daycare. you can't expect an activity chart if kids are allowed and encouraged to move freely from station to station. you need to let go of that expectation if you want your child to have the sort of experience that montessori offers, ie freedom, trust that children have enough natural curiosity to explore and learn when allowed to do so, and imagination opportunities.
not every parent is comfortable trusting their kids to that extent. if you fall into that category, you may need a more structured traditional program.
but i hope you give this a shot. the montessori model doesn't work for 100% of kids 100% of the time, but it's by far the best bricks-and-mortar type of schooling available for littles.
khairete
S.
I didn't use Montessori but I did ask for a detailed list of what my child did the first two to four weeks of his private mommy daycare and later daycare. (Hour to hour or so) I sure he'll adjust but you have a right to know what he's doing and how hes doing. i know they can't do it for all moms but I asked for it when he first started.
I think 3 is a good age for preschool. Whether its the right one only you can decide. My niece is a Montessori teacher and swears by it.
Well first of all, Montessori IS preschool. It's one method of early childhood education. So it's not Montessori vs. preschool; it's Montessori preschool vs. another type of preschool.
And, my son's experience in Montessori was absolutely wonderful. When he started, he was a very shy, easily overwhelmed, withdrawn little kid. He absolutely blossomed there, learned to make friends and be comfortable in groups. He also wound up being way, way ahead academically by the time he started kindergarten. However, I've also seen kids with the opposite personality type -- super-active, dynamic, sort of kinetic kids who have a hard time keeping their hands to themselves -- really learn to calm down and focus in Montessori school. So it benefits all kinds of personality types.
That said, I can only speak for the one specific Montessori school my son attended. I think very highly of the Montessori method in general, but teachers in general -- and Montessori schools in particular -- are diverse, so I'm hesitant to make a general statement about a school I haven't seen.
In terms of your son's adjustment issues, it's natural and actually healthy for him to be slow to adjust. That's an age-appropriate developmental stage. What I learned the hard way with my son, though, is that at this age, if they go somewhere infrequently (2 half-days/week), it takes them much longer to adjust and be comfortable. Young preschoolers can't think in terms of weeks, so they have no idea when the big, scary separation from mom is going to come. No matter what type of school it is, children often do better with preschool 4 or 5 mornings a week.
Finally, to your question about checking in with teachers, why not just ask one teacher to recommend a point person? Then you can just check in with that one teacher every day.
My first response is that you go and spend a day observing the classroom. Each Montessorri school have different guidelines, which is not what Marie Montessorri wanted. The school I worked at expected 2.5 yr children to not talk or just whisper.
The classrooms should be set up in such a way that it encourages the child to want to explore. Your son just sitting indicates there is not something right. IT IS NEVER TOO EARLY TO ASK ANY QUESTIONS!!
Our school always sent home a note about "How things went today". Maybe it's not the Montessorri experience that isn't working maybe it is the school. I cannot emphasis enough how important it is for you to go and observe your child. If something doesn't feel right, then it probably isn't.
My son is in 4th grade, now, but your description of your son reminded me of mine when he was 3.
He, too, was/is a very social kid. I went back to work when he was 3 and we enrolled him in a montessori school. The environment was calm and quiet and the kids were given choices of what they wanted to work on, but the expectation was that they work on their own.
The school was lovely; the teachers were great. It was not a good fit for my son. He would not choose any work. He wanted to play with the kids and had to be directed back to his own work all the time, and the "good-byes" as I dropped him off were awful. He went 4 half-days a week. I really wish we had taken him out earlier. He learned things, but I think he would've been so much happier in a more "traditional" preschool.
The teachers will probably guide your son toward some work if he doesn't choose something on his own, so I wouldn't worry about that.
You know your son best. I guess I would say give it some time, but keep a close eye on how your social butterfly is settling in--or not. If he's not excited to go, if he's not talking about new friends, if he keeps sitting on the sidelines instead of participating, if he's acting out, be open to considering another kind of school.
I wish I had found a different kind of school for my son. We kept thinking it would get better, and it did, but not enough.
He IS learning. Remember, it's just preschool. Preschool (and kindergarten for that matter) is for learning how to be away from home, how to get along with kids, how to hold a crayon, how to explore and learn his own limits, etc.
Kids learn when they are ready. Some kids are ready to learn numbers when others are ready to learn letters, etc. Kids' brain development differ between individuals and between sexes. Ask his teachers.
Your son sounds smart. Don't push him. You'll risk him "not liking" school.
I think the fact that he is observing other kids is a great sign! I switched my daughter from one daycare to another in September 2012. Little by little I noticed she was coming home with a much better attitude and much more polite and respectful. At first she did not like going and in hindsight, I realize it is because her daycare now has structure and routine and also don't let kids run around like mad women all day long. She did not like having to go to time out or having to be told she has to share toys, etc. Within 2 months she started developing friends and enjoys going and understands her boundaries and I think you will find the same. Hope this helps.
(My daughter turns 3 in July)
