Monsters - Reisterstown,MD

Updated on January 23, 2008
A.C. asks from Reisterstown, MD
4 answers

My 2 1/2 yr old has recently become afraid of monsters...seriously afraid of monsters. She used to play in the basement playroom while I made dinner or go to her room to get a toy or blanket that she wanted. Now she has to be in the same room with me all the time. She shows up in my bed in the middle of the night and screams a scream of terror if I put her on time out in her bed and walk out (like we've always done). She wants to be held constantly and tells me that she is scared many times each day. It's gotten so bad that she stood right beside me and held her hand on my leg while I was going to the bathroom this morning! This is ridiculous! There haven't been any changes in our family or routines. Does anyone have any sure fire ways to lose our monsters? (These guys are apparently not limited to the closet or under her bed since she is scared of the whole house.)

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J.D.

answers from Washington DC on

My mom said I went through this when I was young. She asked a child psychologist how to get her through it and he suggested that she read me fairy tales. I don't know why...but she swears by it. She said that it did the trick.

Also, my fear started because my nursery school read us a horror story about a girl who's head is attached by a green ribbon, and at the end of the story, someone takes the ribbon off her neck and her head falls off. There was an illustration of her head laying on the floor. For whatever reason, this visual really triggered a horrible response in me psychologically...I get the creeps even thinking of the story now. Anyway- have you asked her teachers if something happened at school?

Good luck!

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T.G.

answers from Washington DC on

ok, this may sound silly but tell her you are going to the store today to get monster spray. Just get a clear spray bottle and put water in it. Every room you enter "spay away the monsters." Let her do it too. My friends son was scared of monsters in his room and this seemed to do the trick. Also, I would maybe use another area for time outs. Her bedroom, especially her bed, should be a safe place for her. Using it for time outs may make her not want to be in her room. Hope that helps :)

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A.G.

answers from Washington DC on

Oh the monsters. We also went through this with our daughter around 2 1/2-3 years of age. She is now 4.

I think your remedy will depend on what you think your daughter will comprehend... meaning, if she can distinguish between real and pretend.

When we were going through the monster stuff, I researched to find helpful ideas. Some said not to "play" that monsters are real by using the spray because it only tells the child that monsters do exist. However, some moms swear by it. And some children are not able to understand real and pretend and need things like the spray.

Helpful suggestions I found that we used were:
*have your child draw a picture of what a scary monster looks like. Then talk about it and draw things on the monster that make it more friendly (bow in the hair, holding flowers, etc.) Change the image of what a monster is.
*talk to your child about how you (dad, older siblings, dog, etc.) are here to protect her from anything and keep her safe. Let her know that that is your job and you are very good at it (you are brave, strong, etc.) "They" also say not to tell your child that you are afraid of things as an adult but that you used to be until ______ (fill in the method you choose: you got your own monster spray, learned monsters are pretend, etc.) "They" say that children need their parents to be strong, brave people that will protect them, like super heroes... one day they will know we are not perfect! For now it is ok they think we are "perfect"...
*watch Sesame Street (or Monsters Inc.) and explain that the puppets are monsters! Most children do not make that correlation; once they have a different image of what a nice monster looks like, you can make signs to hang in your home that say things like "only friendly monsters allowed" (...but the sign, again, may tell the child that monsters are real... your choice!)
*play fun make believe games with her (grocery store, princess, etc.) and talk about how amazing our minds are that we are able to have so much fun playing make-believe. Then you can also talk about how are minds sometimes imagine things that are not as much fun like monsters.

Some of these ideas may be too much for your 2 1/2 year old... Things that REALLY worked were talking to our daughter and getting her to open up about what it was that was making her afraid (ie: scared of darkness because she couldn't see). We talked to her about distraction. Now when she is afraid, she knows that she can distract herself by thinking of her "happy places" (we talked lots about happy places. Hers were a REAL candyland, playing with her best friend, going to the beach, etc.). Happy places helped a lot at bedtime when we talked about having happy dreams a.k.a. thinking about her happy places as she drifted off to sleep.

Lastly, we let her read books in bed. Sometimes she looks at them for 5 minutes, some nights an hour. They have become like a security blanket. They make her sleepy and distract her from scary thoughts. We also of course use a night light and keep the hall light on.

Let her know it is ok to be afraid and that you will always be there for her. (I know this is an exhausting stage! But it passes!) As long as she knows you understand, don't force her to be alone when she needs your safety and protection, then she will come out on the other side of this!

ALL children go through this! It just takes a lot of extra time, patience and understanding from the parents... just like any other stage: pacifiers, potty training, sharing, etc.

Hang in there! One day you will be able to use the bathroom independently once again!

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A.B.

answers from Washington DC on

I agree with the "Monster Spray". My daughter went through the same thing. It consumed her. The monster spray we used was a pretty bluish/purple bottle of lavendar aromatherapy. Lavendar is a very calming and relaxing scent. She took the spraying job very seriously and the scent was evident so she truly believed she was doing something to get rid of them. She sprayed whereever needed as well as her bedding. She had a "special" nightlight too. To this day we use many aromatherapy remedies for things. Lavendar is a very popluar scent in our home.

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