Monster N Law Please Help I'm Going Insane with My Mother N Law.

I hate to say this but if his mother is talking this way to him WHy does he let her? I mean i know that is his mother but she is totally disrespectful. DID he have to deal with this growing up? If so why wouldnt he want to get away from it now if not for himself but for his children? Does he want his children to feel the way he is feeling? I he needs to reexamine what he wants in life. If he wnts his mom in his life he needs to tell her to stop talking to him like that. He is a grown man and as hard as it is he might just need to break away from that part of his life. I know how hard is becuase I gave up on my bio-mom(as I call her) when I was a teenager. He needs to do what is best for his family. Good luck!

wow. well, stop calling her back. stop answering her calls, stop justifying yourself, and eventually she will explode and demand explanation and that's when you lay down the rules.
you're a mom now, you don't need a boss
vlora

This is difficult. My husband cut off contact with his mother because the negativity she was bringing into our lives was overshadowing the good things. You have to weigh the issues. If she is coming between you and your husband or you and your children, you must figure out how much you can take while still being happy. Try talking to her, of course, but some people just don't change. You need to do what is best for your marriage and your children's wellbeing. It sounds like she is verbally abusive and potentially physically abusive if she is giving your child dangerous medication without your permission. Figure out how much you are willing to accept, lay out the guidelines for her, and perhaps cease contact with her if she does not respect your guidelines. It is hard, but your family must come first. Good luck.

simple stop letting her over just write her a letter or send her a copy of this letter and change your phone number...I did with my mother in law and it has been the best two years of our seven year marriage...they are your kids and you should raise them you can always find and older neighbor or friend to be a grandmother figure to your kids

Oh, my, I feel for you! Been there, done that...see my post on my mother in law by clicking on my name. If these are the things she is doing, it is best just to cut her off. She doesn't need an explanation, just stop talking to her. You didn't mention what your husband thinks? Does he feel the same way? Is he also angered by how she acts? remind him that if your kids see her treat you both this way, they also won't have any respct for you. One lady mentioned to me that my daughter is an extension of me. If my MIL treats me this way, what's to say she won't do it to my daughter. Though I didn't want to cut her completely, it is what we needed to do for our daughter's well being. Tread cautiously, though. If you choose to have a talk with her, make sure that your husband does most of the talking and not you. This is because you are not blood and inlaws have a way of blaming other inlaws that is just heartless. Plus, she may not listen as well as she needs to if uit comes from you.
I really feel for you and I wish you the best of luck. This is the second In law thing I have replied to today. I am starting to think that we should all pitch in for an island somewhere and offer one way tickets.....ok, just kidding, but sometimes that is just how the make us feel.

You should go ahead and disrespect her and not feel bad about it, sounds like that's all she's ever done to you!

I think there is nothing you can do to change her. However, people like that surprisingly back down if someone takes a strong (not raging, but calm and strong) stand against their behavior. I would do it with the three of you (you, her and your husband) alone, so she can have the chance to save face. Tell her that you want her in your lives and may like her help occasionally, but there has to be definite boundaries, and lay down what those are. You are the parents, no one else, and you and your husband alone are responsible for how your kids turn out. So you get to make the decisions. When grandma's opinion or help is wanted, you will ask. If she can't respect that, then she may have to leave for the day - something like that.

I went through this with my stepfather and my grandmother - these were separate situations (she lives across the country so I don't see her much, thank God). It was difficult and painful, but I stood up to them. They argued for awhile and let me know just how much they were displeased, but they stopped. I let them say what they wanted to me and I remained quiet, except to say what WOULD NOT happen when my kids are around. (That was hard - I wanted to scream.) I followed through too (not the screaming). It (the problems) happened when we were at their houses, so I took my kids and either left the house or left to the other end of the house each time it happened. The behavior did stop and I feel a new sense of power. They were quite intimidating people - until now. Good luck to you. You can do it.

Wow. Well S., I have a monster in law to and I personally had to put her in her place. When she didn't like that she would then bad mouth me to my kids. One day she decided to bad mouth me to my husband and he had just about had it. He told her that whether she likes it or not, I am his wife and she will respect me and if she doesn't than, there is no place for her in his life.

In my opinion, I have a mother. She is NOT my mother and therefore she is equally a woman as me. Regardless as to who's mother she is. I deserve the same amount of respect as she demands you give to her and if she isn't going to give me respect than I don't need to give it to her. That may be harsh but that's how I feel and my husband agrees.

I wish you all the luck with it. I personally feel that your MIL needs to realize that your husband chose to marry you and that she needs to respect that and you. It is also wrong to bad mouth a parent to their own children. that's just wrong.

good luck!