Moms of Kids with Special Needs- Do You Ever Get Tired?

Short answer - yes you are completely normal to feel that way and lots of others are right there with you.

My dear friend has 4 on the autism spectrum. I know 2 therapists come to her home (she homeschools). Her children range from 4-15. She will call me when she is spent. She is also very active in co-op learning, American Heritage Girls, Trail Life, service projects, orthodontist stuff, medical appointments. She is a professor at a nearby college and teaches at night so her husband can manage the kids. I am amazed and humbled by her on a weekly basis. She calls me occasionally, exhausted and wanting to just close her house doors and retreat. I think it's understandable.

Know that you are normal in your dread. It is so nice to be in charge of our own schedule and time. I'm going to make a suggestion that might help. For my family I set apart half a day where we do not make any commitment to anyone else. It is our family time. If there's a death in the family or some other serious circumstance I will forfeit that time. Otherwise it is treated with more importance than a dr appt. Maybe you could have that time to look forward to with your kiddo and it would give you a sense of control over your precious time. The older I get the more I realize that time is our most precious resource.

Blessings!
L.

Is there an end in sight to the therapies, or can of that work be eventually transitioned into a school setting? Things like OT and speech are routinely done in a school setting and a school setting is usually adequate for this kind of therapy. I can see doing PT and BT outside of school as most schools don't have the kind of equipment that complete PT requires and BT is very specialized but OT and speech are very commonly needs in public school and may be something that can be accommodated for your child.

While I don't have special needs children per se, two of my kids (and my husband) have ADHD and we have individual therapy and family therapy for them as well as appointments with natural health practitioners and yes, it is exhausting! I found a wonderful practitioner for my older son who did all kinds of good work with him when he was younger (she's a chiropractor and DO who suggested supplements and dietary changes based on things like muscle response testing) but she's 45 minutes away and the appointments were often more than an hour long including wait time and we just got to a point where I didn't have 3 hours a week to do this. We found someone similar closer but it just wasn't the same. We've been on a good schedule this summer with being able to get in to our family therapist weekly and our kids' individual therapists every two weeks. I'm so dreading September, when we have to fit these in along with hockey practices and my evening tutoring/teaching work.

For the ride, are there any audio books you can listen to that your child can hear as well? That may make the rides more interesting. Good luck to you and just keep in mind that these therapies are forever changing the life of your child for the better and that you won't be doing all of them forever.

Get kiddo a 504 plan or an IEP and those professionals will schedule their times at the school during kiddo's day. You won't have to pay for them or take him to appointments.

When it's through the school they pay for it and it happens on their time.

no advice but hopefully some encouragement. YOU SOUND AMAZING TO ME!!!! =0) Keep it up. And hey if you feel like playing hookey once in a while DO IT! We all need a break and I am sure you dont get one very often. Hopefully you can combine some appointments or something. Maybe check with the therapists and see if you can skype in an appointment once a month or something. Hang in there and keep up the good work!

Yes, yes yes! I do understand! After raising 5 children, one is now married and 4 in college....my husband and I adopted one of our foster sons at a year old with multiple medical conditions.
I was working full time 32 hours/week, doing tube feeds at night, colostomy care, and taking him to PT/OT/ST (local) and several specialists (also 45 minutes away).
Needless to say, within a year I decided to become a stay-at-home Mom, and incorporated the help of our county Help Me Grow services. This is wonderful because they come to our home and also have therapists that come to our home. Fortunately we are down to just ST (which I take him to) which will be for the next several years, and the Help Me Grow educator still comes to our home.
We made it through two major surgeries this year, praise God, and are now colostomy and tube feed free! It's been an answer to prayer because I can tell you some funny things I have done due to my lack of sleep:-)
I will be praying for you, and all other Moms in this situation. You are doing an awesome job with your Son, he is so blessed to have you.
Stay strong!!

My friend's child is on the autistic spectrum. Many of the therapist come to her house. OT was the only therapy where she had to travel. Is that a possibility?

If the driving is the issue-

is there any way you could consolidate appointments? i.e. do two therapies a day, that way you have 5 days without any driving?

is there a busing/ pick up drop off service for kids to take them to and from therapy sessions? maybe you can make use of this and it will either free up some time, or free you up from driving (if you are eligible to ride along)?

Can you have hubs do some of these drives/ classes?

Would you consider moving to a place closer to these various therapists? Or to an area richer in therapists?

Your child might have some sort of case manager that is coordinating these various services. Your needs as his parent should be part of the calculus. If you are overtaxed you can't take adequate care of him. Maybe there is some sort of respite care available for you.

If you are just aching for some unscheduled time. Add it to the schedule. Free up 1/2 a day so that you can do nothing or anything you choose, including watching the grass grow.

Best,
F. B.