Moms of Autistic Children.........

Get out of the psycho-therapy trap now. Find a support group in your area with other families of high functioning Autism and spectrum kids. You'll be better off for it. Right now, it sounds like you're putting undue pressure on yourself and your child to conform to what others think are normal behaviors for a young kid.

While it is indeed exhausting keeping up with a kid who is slow to read social cues, they aren't beyond hope...and they certainly aren't mentally ill, so why go there?

It would be more beneficial to all of you to go where the kids are all on the same playing field and the parents are all experiencing the same challenges, and in that setting give your child the chance to grow socially without judgment or others jumping to conclusions.

He will eventually learn to sit still and read cues. But it has to be on his developmental timeline. Don't worry. I sense worry and fear. No need. Just find a place where you and he can find your groove when he's developmentally ready for it. Being with other families like yours will provide new friendships and a support system so you won't feel so out of the norm. Best of all, you get access to resources such as socialization classes, sports, theater, and other fun activities for your family to enjoy without having to worry about other's judgements.

Here's a link. I'm not in your area, and these might not be near you, but it might be a start of where to look. I'm sure if you called, they'd know of groups near you.

http://autismmclean.org/resources/supportGroups

http://www.autismspeaks.org/community/fsdb/category.php?s...

You have to learn to redirect behaviors without shining a spot light. The more calm you remain while shifting one of your childrens gears, the more calm they will remain.

My son is high functioning as well, although my son is 4. He holds it together while at school and then he kind of as we call it lets loose at home. We are tolerant but there is still discipline, he knows there are consequences and also will come to us after a melt down and say he is sorry for yelling or whatever behavior there was...
You can not change how small minded people think...I know it is hard but you have to just let those kind of people who say idiotic things like your child is fine and not let them bother you.
Find a support group, it is amazing how much just talking with one mom who knows what you are going through can help! = )

Hi M., although I don't have a child with autism, I work with many parents who do. I am a retired special needs teacher, I started my own coaching practice 6 years ago as a Family Success Coach. I used to be in a system that thought that kids needed to be drugged, counseled or ignored (put in a "special" school). Now I work with parents on their food choices, the right vitamins, minerals and proteins to feed their child.

www.Pubmed.org could start you on the right path, it is the US National Library of Medicine National Institutes of Health (although the site is very technical).

First and foremost you have to look at what you are feeding your child. Please, if you want help, send me a message.

B.
Family Success Coach

If you haven't already, check out Ellen Notbohm, a mom of an autistic child, a beautiful writer. Her book Ten Things Every Child With Autism Wishes You Knew is fantastic. Google her name. A fave of mine.

:)

oh wow, i know EXACTLY where you are at! my 8yo is hfa, and he is my oldest child - we jokingly(kinda funny, kinda not!) say that our two younger kids have "learned autism"... it's tough when the older one is special needs, all younger siblings want to emulate the behavior of their older siblings. i'm pressed for time right at this moment - but i'm gonna PM you my email address - feel free to email me to talk/vent - i'll offer what i can as far as advice goes!

Redirect to the rescue! Try to save the no for really big deal stuff. Instead of telling himwhat not to do tell him what he should do. I can yell "no running" till the cows come home but if I yell "walk please!" they change the behavior. If he is having a lot of fun, getting a rise, out of the misbehavior then make the redirected behavior fun or silly. Jumping on the couch? Tell him it is time to snake crawl on his belly.
And i know it sounds like impossinle advice but try to relax. If your little one is scared it might be because she is picking up on your energy.

My son is ADHD and was just diagnosed with Aspergers. This is a tricky issue because your son's brain does not work the same way the rest of our brains work. You would think that mom saying, "You can't jump off the couch because you could hurt yourself." would be enough, but it isn't. My son is almost six and he still darts across the parking lot before I can get his sister out of the car and the doors shut; he nearly got his foot ran over the other day; gave me a major heart attack.

Something that I've found that works pretty well most of the time is kneeling down in front of him, hold onto his arms, make him look at your face (not as easy as it looks), repeat the words, "Look in my eyes" until he mostly looks at your face then tell him, "I love you very much, but I do not like your behavior right now." Then, when he is focusing on you, tell him what he's doing wrong.

Here's the important part ... make sure you tell him when he's doing something RIGHT. If he's playing quietly, say to him, "I'm really proud that you're playing so quietly right now. Thank you for being such a big boy!"

My son's therapist said not to worry that it sounds fake, it's going to, but make sure you sound really happy and excited, over-exaggerate. You can try redirection, but I know from experience that it won't always work with an Autistic or ADHD child because of the way their brains are wired.

Good luck and feel free to message me ____@____.com if you want to talk because I really do know where you're coming from.

H.

Good Morning. Let me preface this by saying that I am not a parent with a child with autism BUT I am an early childhood teacher who works specifically with 3-5 year children who do have autism. You mentioned that your child, "doesn't seem to get stop when someone tells him to", well, that is because children with autism can have a difficult time processing language. Pairing a visual (stop sign) with the command will help your child to learn what it is that you want them to do. Also, giving your child just the visual and no other interactions will help to stop reinforcing the behavior (whether positive or negative reinforcement- children thrive on both!) I have also found that writing a social story (or social script) really helps the child to understand what is expected. I have used both techniques on children who would be considered to have severe autism all the way to those that are high functioning. The key is to be consistent and to avoid the reinforcement, again, both negative reinforcement and positive reinforcement is reinforcing to a child. Good luck with everything and know that you are not in this alone! I'm sure you are doing a great job, as challenging as my job is, I couldn't imagine having to do what you do everyday. Keep asking the questions and staying informed. YOU are the best advocate for your child!

I am not a mother of a child with Autism, but a nearly 5 yr old DD with ADHD that is HIGHLY created due to food additives and other food intolerances that she has. We used to deal with many of the same behaviors that you described especially before we addressed food issues by using the Feingold diet (www.feingold.org). She's still not perfect - definitely more challenging than an easy child, but everyone that has known her has seen a complete 180* turnaround. Take a look at food in addition and see if it can help. Food colors and other additives work as neurotoxins and that's not good for anyone.