Moms, I'm at a Total Loss!!!!

Don't you just love the 3's!?! Wait till they get 4 also!
They are testing your boundaries. They want to see how far they can push your buttons. I call my 3 yr. old "the devil child". To all my friends she's a little angel - her 5 yr. old sis & I we see her true self! She's a manipulative little toot! When I scold her she just smiles.

I'm consistant on how I discipline BOTH my girls & the 3 yr. old sees it too. If 5 yr. old gets in trouble she'll say something like, "mommy I won't do that" & she won't because she knows I stand my ground. It took awhile to figure this all out. I get down to their height (kneel down) & talk face to face calmly. No shouting/no spanking. Follow the rules of "the nanny". Have a time out spot. If they get out of place put them back in it. I have taken away so many toys & just stuffed them in a bin & hid them in the attic if they don't follow the rules. If they don't miss the toys then I either sell them or donate them (and they participate in this).

Love & Logic is the best book to follow!!!

You just need to be consistent. Whatever type of punishment you decide to use... he needs to know that there will be consequenses, and that you aren't going to give in. They try to break you down... lol... slowly... to see if they can outlast you. Once they find out that they can... then you're done for! Just keep it up, and he'll get the picture, that there will ALWAYS be a punishment. Even though they don't seem to phase him, they really do... and he'll come around. Just give it some time, be patient, and stay consistent!

Good Luck!

-A.

D.,

Have you talked to his teachers to see if anything new is going on at school other than him hitting and saying no?

Kids do go through testing phases on and off throughout their years, but sometimes they're not just being awful to test, sometimes it is just how they handle stress of some sort. My son (10) is such a great kid, but if he lacks some personal attention, after a while he will be a pain and act up, pick fights with his brothers, etc. My oldest son (13) always felt misunderstood and constantly acted out (he is an overly sensitive child, so this didn't help since he always was feeling wronged). When he was in preschool and I asked about his day, his answers were always that he had no time out or that he did. I asked the teacher if he spent a lot of time in time out and she said no. Apparently, the time(s) that he did, was enough that he based his day on it. I made a huge mistake with him thinking things would pass, but they only got worse. He was an extremely sweet kid and then get completely angry in no time. It took 13 years to get him to stop "fighting the world" and take control of his emotions.

My point is, spend a little extra time with your son in the next week or so. Talk about school and friends. Maybe something will come up. You want to be an advocate for your son and find out if there is anything bothering him that is causing this. You also don't want to baby him and let him get by with things. Stay firm on discipline when he has acted out, but in his good moments, try and spend time together and talk. He's a boy and only 3 so he's not going to have long conversations, but you can ask him about things while he plays with toys (like you mentioned role playing). Most importantly, stay patient. I could see a difference in most of my kids in no time whenever I dealt with an issue, but as I said before, my oldest son took 13 years of my patience. Since he turned 13 he has matured so much and is such an easier kid to live with (odd, I know, since you always hear of horror stories with teens, but so far my 3 teens are easier than toddlerhood was).

Danielle,

Our kiddos are much smarter than we give them credit for! They sense when we are at our wit's end.

Spend time talking camly to your son and give him plenty of attention when he demonstrates acceptable behavior. Talk to him when he misbehaves in an attempt to understand why. Most times it is just a cry for more attention.

Whenever I am inconsistent regarding discipline with my three-year old son, he takes advantage of the situation. I would strongly suggest that you discuss a disciplinary strategy with all caregivers and be consistent with it.

Your son will soon understand that his behavior is unacceptable and will not be tolerated. I would also avoid spanking since he is having issues with hitting. It is very difficult to teach a child not to use violence when we show him this is acceptable behavior to exhibit when we are frustrated or upset. Good luck to you! Just try to remain calm and be patient. He will soon return to the well behaved boy you miss so much!

Whoever coined the term "terrible twos" got it VERY wrong. The age 3 was more difficult for us with both of our boys. Just be consistent and remember he is 3. Is he a good talker? He may be a bit frustrated if he is not being understood when trying to talk. I agree with the last Mom--this too will pass. Pray for patience--it really is the age.

you can do what my grandma and mom always said --- "I'm going to beat you to death and tell God you died." LOL

just repeat this to yourself slowly -- "this too shall pass". I have to say this multiple times a day...he's just a button pusher and is learning the rules of engagement. :) it'll get better... trust me...