I am a SAHM of 5, ages 15, 8, both boys, twin boy/girl 3 year old twins & a 1 year old girl. I have been home full time for 3 years now and was really enjoying it. I was getting bored & decided to teach a class or two for some "out of the house" time. My hubby, mom and mil are very supportive. Just recently, like last week, I have been feeling sick: exhausted, stomach upset, heartburn, palpitations etc. i even visited the dr, she prescribed Prilosec and told me to slow down. So, i quit my teaching gig and am trying to recover......any suggestions?
Oh, the 3 littke ones are SUPER attached to me, we've tried mommy groups etc, they wouldnt stay in daycare......
HELP,!!!
Thank you ladies for all of your answers! I read through them over and over again...
Initially, I visited my family doctor to get some of my questions answered about why I feel the way I feel, she gave me Prilosec and called it a day. From there< researched my symptoms and realized that my hormones are out of line and I am truly suffering from adrenal fatigue In the meantime. So, most recently I have become a bit more "selfish". I have scheduled workouts 2-3 days per week with the intent to increase that soon, I see my chiropractor for adjustments twice a week, a massage every other week, I get my mani/pedi every other week, get my vitamin B shots every 2-3 weeks and I am also seeing a "natural" doctor, to re-balance my hormones and to help me recover from adrenal fatigue.
I had to take some time to re-evaluate myself, get me back together and this way I can be a better me, a better mom and a better wife!!!!!!
Personally, I would think that the teaching gig would be less stressful than staying home with 5 kids day in and day out.
My suggestion would be to keep the teaching gig and get some help at home.
You sound like you need time out of the house relaxing. Just you out to a movie, to get your nails done, get to know yourself without the children in a relaxed state, not necessarily a job. You are going from one stressful fulltime job to another. Take advantage of the support around you and take that "out of the house" time doing something for just you. Try it, you will be surprised at how much it helps.
my dear, listen to your body!
what do you mean 'they wouldn't stay in daycare'? do they drive away?
take advantage of your excellent support group. even more, do your littles a huge favor and allow them to learn and understand that it's okay to be away from mommy and that she'll always come back. it's a huge red flag for me that your littles are so anxiously attached to you that it's affecting your physical health. it would mine too. it's not good for you or them. and most of all, find a YOU thing and do it. it will benefit everyone.
when my kids were small i was working 3 jobs and worn to a frazzle. it was 'selfish' of me to find time to ride my horse several times a week. but i think it's what kept me sane.
go find your horse.
:) khairete
S.
What do you mean they wouldn't stay in daycare? You need a provider who has the patience to help your kids with separation anxiety. It can take weeks for them to adjust, but it's so much healthier for them to learn to accept other adults some of the time and for you to get an inch of breathing room.
It sounds like your body is giving off big alarms to slow down. You need some rest! Can you get someone to come in and help you with the 3 little ones, or clean for you so that you at least have some of the work off of your plate?
Quite frankly, you need to put the 3 year olds in mother's morning out at least 3 times a week and leave them there whether they like it or not. If you don't pull them out, they will eventually get used to it. Those moms who have to work don't have the luxury of bringing their kids back home because they have trouble getting used to being away from mommy.
If you end up in the hospital, your kids won't have you at all. Stop letting the 3 year olds rule you, K.. The family overall needs you to change things up.
Good luck,
Dawn
You have to take care of yourself. I suggest it's time to help your little ones to not need you so much. You can do this by leaving them more often and then returning in a couple of hours so that they learn that you always return. And, if you need them to be in daycare, they go to daycare. Perhaps the reason it hasn't worked is that doing so once/week doesn't lend it's self to getting adjusted. If you can afford it I'd put them in half day daycare at least 3 days/week.
Then, find a hobby or activity, something you like to do apart from your family and do that once a week. Perhaps go to a movie, to the library, take a class yourself. Let your hubby, mom, mil watch the kids. When I was burnt out with children and frustrated over family fighting meal time arrangements, I fixed them a simple meal and left the house to eat out at budget level places. I loved Boston Market. I took a book and read. The family ate dinner without the fuss that happened when I was there or perhaps because I wasn't there I was unaware of it. And I had time to myself eating good food I didn't have to prepare or clean up afterwards. My attitude improved. I was less tense and anxious.
I've also frequently taken an anti-depressant/anti/anxiety medication which I took until I felt better, had no heartburn or heart palpitations. Yes, I had all those symptoms too. I sometimes was able to stop the medication and sometimes continued to take it for months. You could talk with your doctor about that possibility.
What about a mothers helper? A college age girl who can play with the little kids while you stay home and read, workout, nap. This way they will know you are close but you get a little break. Maybe at that time a friend comes over for coffee or you could set up a small book club? If you are like me time away from my son does not energize me but a little adult conversation while my son is nearby is just right for me.
I've never been a stay at home Mom but as far as the daycare goes you need to give it time. My DD started daycare at 18 months after being with my mother and a babysitter. It took her over a month to get used to daycare. If you are taking your kids to a good daycare they will help them adjust. You need some serious me time so give daycare another try. Good luck!!
As a SAHM also (girls 2 and 4), I can relate to the daycare thing. I would never be able to leave my girls at daycare knowing they were upset if it was not absolutely necessary as that would cause more stress for me than just having them at home! I would suggest reaching out to your local family and close friends for daily visits. Have someone over for morning coffee or lunch as often as possible. It's amazing how much relief you can feel just by having another adult in your presence and by staying home it won't disrupt your kids and you won't have to worry so much about behavior since they'll still have their toys and such. Being home alone with kids all day is extremely overwhelming and I've always found being with my girls is much easier when I have another person around.
How about preschool for twins? It took my dau 2 mos to adjust but she loves it noe. How abouf moms club for social time with and without kids?
It's obvious you need some time away from the children. There's absolutely nothing wrong with that.
As far as the three little ones not being able to go to daycare because they are so attached to you ... they need to begin learning that it isn't the end of the world to spend some time away from mommy. It's better to let them go through (and probably Mommy go through even more) a little bit of discomfort with that now than to wait until they are forced to go through it in a couple of years (Kindergarten is looming!) My suggestions are: an in home "mommy's helper"; find a good home childcare nearby so that the experience will be with a smaller group and in a home setting; or work it around a time when hubby, or one of the grandparents can watch them for you. Maybe some combination of these will work for you. Another thought is that you might find a local free or inexpensive activity program for them where you would be with them but they would be working with other children and adults on a project. That way they could begin to get more comfortable with not being glued to your side at all times. Even trips to a local park where they can interact with other children might help them and would give you some opportunity to meet other parents and interact while your kiddos are enjoying playing.
