Mom Seeking Advice Re: Son's Swimming Lessons

Updated on November 10, 2009
B.H. asks from Detroit, MI
13 answers

My 5 year old has always been very excited about the idea of swimming. He loves water and loves to get in the pool when we are on vacation. So, I decided to register him for swimming lessons at the Y. We registered about 2 weeks ago and the class started this weekend. It's all he has been talking about.

Today he must have asked me 50 times about getting swimming shorts. I was excited myself picturing him as a great swimmer or even on a swim team! Now, after his first lesson he tells me he hates swimming and will not go back. I'm a ittle disapointed he feels that way.
I did not get in the water with him but watched him on the otherside of a glass wall with the other parents. He seemed to be doing fine for his first lesson.
He was able to float on his own (with a float). I believe that he did not like the lesson because it was structured. He probably thought he was going to be able to do what he wanted in the water and just have "free Play". This is why I'm always nervous about him playing around water and not knowing how to swim. He does not realize what could happen to him. Plus, I belive he is old enough for a structured class.
I had to pay for these lessons so I'm not going give up so easily on him going. I hope that he does not give everyone a hard time. I can't understand how he could be so happy about it and now he does not want to go. Plus I would feel very comfortable if he learns respect for water and to swim.

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K.S.

answers from Grand Rapids on

My daughter has been swimming with her class at school and the first 4 times she didn't want to go or even go to school. Now she even helps pack her suit and towel so have faith and he will come around as he gets used to the class and what they are doing. Good luck.

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L.W.

answers from Detroit on

B. - How large is his class? if there are lots of kids, he may be a little bit bored waiting around. Also,how is his instructor - that can make all the difference at this age. My son (4) just started swimming lessons about 1 1/2 months ago. We take lessons at the JCC (open to everyone) with Ernie and he is tough, but very encouraging to each child (and he doesn't let parents "get in the way", the swimming pool is his domain)-there are some tears at first, but after that all of the kids just love him because Ernie insists on discipline and listening to him, but praises them when they accomplish something difficult to them (even if it is something like holding their breath under water for 3 seconds)and they are so proud. You have to explain to your son that quitting swimming is not an option, and that water safety is extremely important (as you noted) as I believe the number one cause of death for really little kids is drowning. You have to be very encouraging, praise the instructor, tell him how well he is doing, how great swimming is, etc. he will eventually take his cues from you! A positive attitude from you will do the trick I think and don't let him quit - there is a lesson from that he will remember too.

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B.B.

answers from Detroit on

Our 5 yr old just finished his first set of swimclasses and is VERY excited to go back for another one... :-) He has an older sister who is also in classes and already knows how to swim so he is looking forward to going "in the deep" with her.

At 5 yrs old he should not be making the decision... Make him go but do it nicely. Tell him that you'll stop for a treat after class. Or if you have time take him to a freeswim and let him practice what he learned in lessons.When your in the water with him, don't hold him. You go out past where he can occasionally and when he says its too deep make comments on how after swim classes he'll be able to come out there too!!!

Give him a few more lessons and the excitement will come back. :-)

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M.F.

answers from Benton Harbor on

We did a semi private swim lesson with one of his friends at the YMCA. It worked out well and they both had a really good time while learning. My friend’s son had a couple of problems not wanting to get in the water, if my son was unable to attend for one reason or another. You may want to check to see if you can switch to a semi private lesson, with someone he knows, you get more one on one time.

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S.P.

answers from Minneapolis on

There is no reason that he can't handle a half an hour of structured time - although I like what Kathy V. had to say about also giving him some play time. Swimming is a safety issue, and my daughter is required to take swimming lessons, no matter how she feels about it, until she has passed the level for Jr. Lifegaurd. Water safety is incredibly important at all ages - and although lessons will never replace supervision, they are essential.

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B.T.

answers from Detroit on

I think that at this age, they do not get a choice. You get to decide this one. Especially since it is something important like learning to swim. I think 5 yo is a good age to do structured lessons, so do not feel like you were wrong.

Is there a free swim time that you could participate in afterwards? Then he has something to look forward to after lessons.

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D.S.

answers from Detroit on

B.; it sounds like he enjoys being with you more than others, it may not be structure he dislikes, he might just enjoy your company , he may of had a thought too that you would be there with him instead he was thrown into a place with people he did not know, ? i dont know, but i dont think i would make something he loves into something he hates, try doing a play time with him but teach him yourself water safety? or ask instructor if you can join him in the water? he might like to have his own little cheer session not behind glass, maybe he could not see you , ? they do need to learn respect of the water, and how it can be dangerous for him but if he listens while around water he can have lots of fun, try different things, ask him what he likes, its ok to keep him going, and its ok to teach him yourself, but he does need to be taught, he might just want to be with you ,and it could be hard for him to realize he had fun, we would take our kids to disney and have a wonderful day no arguments, they did wonderful but i always had a son, who always seemed to say at the end of the day i did not have fun, we were crushed, so it may not be that he did not have fun , but his statement could be just of i dont want it to end, maybe if he had free time after the lesson? keep going and just have fun, D. s

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V.C.

answers from Seattle on

My 5 year old son has struggled with swimming lessons. He loves it one week and hates it the next. He is usually fine once he is in the water, but getting him there sometimes is a struggle. I have three kids and once they are about 5 years old then we have a "finish what you start" policy. They are asked if they want to do the lesson/sport and if they want to sign up for it then they have to finish it. I think it teaches then to stick with things to the end. I've also found that anything new takes some time to get used to and with time they usually enjoy most all of the things they sign up for. Incentives work well for my son. Maybe if he passes on to the next level then he can plan a trip to a water park or something along those lines???????? I've found that instructors at the Y can vary greatly. Asking the aquatics manager for a really fun upbeat instructor might be a good idea. Also just asking the instructor for advice might be helpful.
Good luck!!!

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K.V.

answers from Detroit on

Try asking him why he doesn't like it. Even give him some ideas about why if he can't come up with any. Like "do you not liek it becasue you can only do what they say?" Then give him a solution, tell him you will take him to a pool for free play, as long as he is being good during the lessons, and the first time that he isn't or throws a fit about going, then don't take him to the free swim, list the lessons adn free swim on the calendar, and make a big deal about them the day before so that he can anticipate them.

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M.M.

answers from Lansing on

When My kids took lesson at the Y. I always took my suit and we would swim and have fun afterward. Even the other 2 kids that did not have lesson would come and swim in the pool. It was a great family time. I love that the Y lets you do this we are not members but they allow you to have a great time after your lesson for as long as you want. My kids really enjoyed that. Maybe if you did that with him it would be something for him to look forwarded to.

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A.H.

answers from Detroit on

I am not sure, but are the kids allowed any free time after the class to apply what they have learned or to have any of the parents accompany their kids?

I wonder if this is the reason and if it is, it will give him something to look forward to at the end of the class.
If this is not allowed, perhaps arranging some time on the weekend for a family swim time would be the cure? Then he can show off his new skills and have fun with Mom and Dad and his little brother...

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K.M.

answers from Detroit on

Explain to him the serverity of playing in the water and not knowing the water. Tell him thats why hes in the class. to learn and that you need him to make it through tese couple weeks and if he still doens't like it than he doesn't have to go back. Maybe you could also make hima deal if he makes it through the lesson or maybe one other day you all could go to the community pool and swim. That way he could teach you what he learned and than he could play. Goo dluck

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S.M.

answers from Saginaw on

Hi B., This is just a power struggle. He was picturing a free swim, not a structured lesson. And being separated from you was not what he expected either. Keep taking him, but reward him afterward with some free swimming time if he co-operated with his teacher. He is too young to be calling the shots. Don't be negative even about his behavior. Simply reward him for doing the lesson. In Kindergarten, children must do what they are told and aren't always happy about it. They aren't allowed to come up with their own lesson plans. He will come around. Tell him how proud of him you are, and how he will be able to swim like the big kids all by himself if he keeps taking lessons. Peer pressure works for the positive also. Hope this helps.

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