Mom Is Driving Me Crazy with Her Comments About Me to Others

She's proud of you and your family and is bragging. I know it's embarrassing but wait staff and others will recognize what she says for what it is, pride. Let her brag. You could laugh and say something like, "Mom exaggerates." I might laugh and say, "Mom's right! I'm so lucky!"

The wait staff probably aren't even listening and will have forgot what she said by the time you've left the restaurant. Yes, it's embarrassing. At the same time it's great to have a proud mother instead of a critical one.

Maybe, being with you and bragging 'about' you... is all she got.
And it makes her happy, in an indirect way.
Because her own life and and her home life and Husband... are very not happy.
Maybe she sees... how, even if your life is not 'rich'.. that you are lucky/rich/living well, because she sees you have a nice normal loving Husband and you get to be who you want and get to be home with your children... and you are living, what she deems as fortunate.
Unlike her own home life and how she is treated "poorly" by her Husband and has been for YEARS.
Her life, must feel sad and very empty, being controlled by her Husband. A man who wouldn't even "allow" her to have a job and didn't even 'allow' her to drive.
That is very, sad. Some might say even abusive.

Think about it... being a Wife of a Man like that, is very sad and lonely and empty. It would be unbearable for many.

So she is, getting a whiff, of the niceties of life when she is with you, and out with you. Because to her, this must be 'freedom' and she gets to be and do what she wants. Unlike when she is with her Husband controlling everything.

This is why, she 'brags' about you.
Because, she lacks what you have. And it is bigger than life, for her.
You and your family/kids, brings her happiness. And wishful thinking.

This isn't about 'you.
It is about her. Her and her having a moment of happiness and fantasy... when she is with you. And talking to the Waiters... which is something she probably cannot even do, when she is with her Husband. He probably controls that, too.
Since he has controlled her her whole life.

I feel sad, for her.

all the best,
Susan

Trying to shut a proud mother up is like trying to pull a King Canute on the tides. Impossible.

You appear to be living her dream for you and she's busting at the seams.

If you DO figure out a way without breaking her heart/ making her angry at you instead of proud... let me know!!!

You can find all the faults and difficulties in your life and apparently she only sees the good things.
That's not so bad.
She's not telling strangers what a crappy mother and wife you are, she says you live like a "queen". Perhaps, just perhaps, it's her way of expressing pride in you, even though it seems embarrassing.
I mean, she COULD bad mouth you and then you would be writing a different post.
For every nice thing she says, you feel like you have to tell her it's not true.
That's not healthy either.
Just my opinion.
She thinks you have a nice life. Why try to convince her you don't?
I wouldn't worry about what "wait staff" think when she brags about you. They've heard it all. Better for her to say things that clearly make her seem proud of you than the opposite.
You can try saying, "Mom, I love that you are so happy for me, but it makes me uncomfortable when you talk to strangers about my personal life. Your're going to get us mugged in the parking lot or have a string of people wanting to come home with me."
(Try humor).
I just don't think downplaying or putting down the good things in your life is the way to go.
If you have a good life, except it. Even if it's not the life of royalty she thinks it is.
Parents always want better for their children than they had it and perhaps she feels happy that you have accomplished it.
Maybe it makes her happier about her own circumstances....knowing that you have it better.
Regardless, and I know it bothers you, but try not to let it draw a wedge between you both.

Best wishes.

Wow - tough one. I personally never understand why people (including my mother) insist on telling perfect strangers things that are none of their business and that they have not interest in. My mother could bore someone to death in minutes. What to do? Hmmm. She obviously doesn't take a direct request seriously. I might be inclined to "remind" her ahead of time that you'd like to keep what happens in your personal life to yourself. Remind her like a child that if you start telling the waitress anything personal about me (especially things that aren't even true), I'm going to be forced to tell her some things about you that you're not going to like. At the first sign of your mother blabbing to anyone, I'd very seriously say - . . . and can you believe that my mother is 62 years old and has sex with my father three times a day? I'd say it in a very serious matter-of-fact way and repeat similar items until she gets the hint. Explain to your mother (who will probably be mortified) that that's the way YOU feel when she blabs. It's worth a shot.

She's proud of you and your marriage and is just bragging on ya. The people she tells dont really care anyway and get paid to listen to silly stuff all day long. Let her have her moment. She's so happy she doesnt have to say "my daughter lives in squaller and her husband is an idiot". She's validating that she was successful at raising a daughter that is also a success.

Sounds like she's jealous. If she's saying it with sarcasm.. You have to put parents in their place. Sometimes they feel because they raised you, they can disrespect you. I have a great relationship with my mom, better than my older sis! And it's because I let her know, firmly yet respectfully, when she's not treating me as the adult that I have become. My sis is a bit more scared of her so she gets treated differently. Mother's are people & she doesn't see the harm if you still act like she's going to punish you.. I'm not saying ruin the relationship you have with her, only you know how she operates. But I am saying that you have to be able to put your foot down.

I like Shane B's answer. Your last paragraph explains why she does it - her life is pretty grim and yours seems lovely in comparison. It may be unintentionally hurtful cause the things she says aren't true and your life isn't easy - maybe you can explain that as well. Unless she's being sarcastic and is actually insulting you, take it as coming from a place of love and talk to her the way Shane said. Considering she has a controlling husband, she may be a bit socially clueless as well.

She's your mom, as annoying as it is moms brag about their kids to everyone who will listen. Nothing you can do but decide not to let it bother you anymore.

Just my opinion but I think its time maybe for both of you to make some new friends so you aren't always with each other. I don't go out and have lunch often with my mom. she would drive me batty! I have had the same kind of issues with my mom. then I thought, why am i putting up with this when she clearly won't change. so the first thing i did was limit the details of what I would tell her. then i only saw her on occasion, mostly a couple hours every few weekends when the kids spent the night and holidays and birthdays. and you know what happened? she got bored being mostly by herself and now has a job the last year and also met a man shes just started dating! so really, keep the details of your life to yourself and limit the time you spend with her. good luck!

Never go to the same restaurant twice.

She does it....
Because everything in this world is relative.
Because her life at your age/station in life sucked more.
Because to her, she's got it really good.

You know the truth of your existence, who cares what any relatives think?