Mom Going on Cruise Without Daughter

I have a 9 year old and a 2 year old! When my oldest was 4 my husband and I left her while we went on a 7 day cruise! I have to say it was great! I do not like to leave my daughter but when she gets a little older she is not going to want you to go everywhere with her. So I would have to say that I would not take her!
Thanks
C. Stork

Just go! It'll be good for both of you. And have some fun!!! You are way overdue for some Mom time.

Girl, go and have a good time! I read an article once that said to blame stuff like this on "the doctor". You could put it like this: "The Doctor" said that I really need some time...and I really need you to help Dad with...
Plus, you have enough time between now and the trip to do some separating from her. I have an 8 year old too, and sometimes we all need a little time away; it makes us better moms!

Have fun!

Hi there S.!
Heck no girl! You have done more than your share not only a fab momma and a school professional but you also help her with the good word and her classmates also! You deserve a little break and I think it would be good for her to have a week of daddy time with your hubby (if he can't handle it then you always have grandma as a back up)If she insist you don't go you could get her a small key chain w/ a place for a photo and put one of you on one side and you and her on the other so she has something she can keep with her. You could also give her something "special" to hold on to for you like a necklace or bracelet just so she feels grown up. Don't forget to bring her back something cool from you trip to show her you were thinking of her. When I was a kid my mom work had her travel lots and these were a few things she did for me to help me not feel so lost without her. Let us know how it gose and ENJOY YOUR TRIP WHILE YOU ARE THERE!!!

I would say have a good support system for your daughter in place and then go. Have family and friends ready to keep her busy and entertained. She really is too old to be going through seperation anxiety but if you are consistant and tell her you love her then she will be ready by the time it happens.

In preparation for the event, have plenty of opportunities for her to develop her own interests and grow stronger. Insist she spend time away from you regularily. Such as having a second parent start being in your Bible with you class and step out for a few minutes just to get her used to the idea of seperate time. Let her stay at a friends house, or with a relative, while you go to the grocery store. Give lots of opportunities for her to get used to not being with you, or in the same building, every minute of the day and night.

I have a strong opinion about this and let me tell you why. I had a friend whose have children can't let go and when school starts they will make themselves sick just so they can go home. It is like she is still pregnant with them, even at the movies they want to sit in her lap. They are in K and 2nd grade. She can't sit on the couch and watch tv without one or both of her kids leaning on her. She thinks it's cute, most people think it's revolting and just stare at them in public.

Here's a couple of good articles that goes along with what I am saying.

http://www.babycenter.com/0_separation-anxiety_12652.bc?A...

http://www.cnn.com/2007/HEALTH/family/08/20/hm.separation...

Hope you have a wonderful time on your cruise.

Wow you have had so many excellent responses mine is just another happy drop in the bucket. First you really do need time away from all the heavy responsibilities that come with being a mom. Second your child needs to begin developing a strong independent streak. I know thats not an easy thing as I have a 17 year old that went through a terrible bout of seperation anxiety when SHE went away to AGS this summer. She had never spent more than one night every great now and again with her meme an the only time I had ever been away from her was a 2 week trip with her grandfather to cali to visit family members I had not seen in over 20 years and that was back when she was about 8 but I sent her little packages and post cards from every place I visited. I didn't really think of it as a problem till this summer when she actually became semi ill cause she wasn't with me and wanted to come home 30 minutes after we had left her. The tears and pleading was terrible and nearly broke my heart but I didn't let her quit on herself, instead what I did was speak to her on the phone every night and every day when she had free time from class she was asked to write me a letter telling me all about her day and what she did and I made her go out and be social.
So maybe before you go you could work up a little calendar of events for her to attend with other kids, if you live close to Springdale I recommend the Jones center they always have something for the kids to participate in over the spring break, and since your very involved with your church perhaps they will have something planned during that time as well.
Seperation anxiety is a terrible thing but it really is better to deal with it now before they become teens. We all need breaks and even though our kids may not know it they often need breaks from us as well.
Bblessed always in all things

No. You are not ditching your parental responsibility. I would suggest not talking about the trip again until after Christmas. During that time, see if you can get your daughter to go on overnight trips to grandma's house to get her used to being away from you. She is old enough to understand that mommy needs to be gone for a few days. When it gets closer to time for the cruise, help her make a big calendar for the days you are going to be gone and then she can mark a day off every night until you come home. See if she will help you plan for the trip by packing or looking through the activities on the ship and you help her plan for some fun things she and daddy can do while you are gone. Just make sure she understands that you aren't going to be gone forever, just a few days. It may not be easy at first, but everyone deserves a vacation. Enjoy your trip!
J.

S., you need to go and she needs to get over it. At 8-yrs-old, I spent my first summer vacation in Baltimore, MD with my maternal grandmother (I lived with my paternal grandmother in Pittsburgh, PA). I missed my family, but you know what I got over it. I spent all or part of my summers with my mom in Baltimore, MD from then on until I married. We traveled and did wonderful things. I treasure those memories. Had I refused to go at eight, my voice would have been heard. I would have stayed home and been a poorer person for it. I have memories of wonderful people and places I got to know and love. Your daughter doesn't know what she needs to grow as a well rounded person. It's up to you to provide opportunities that allow that to happen.

You are an excellent mother. Not many would consider passing up a cruise for an 8-yr-old's whim. Don't forget she's going to leave you one day and no amount of begging on your part will change that. Right now, she has monopolized your world that needs to change for her good and yours. She'll thank you for it one day. Trust me, as a mother of 5 and grandmother of 11, I know. Pray about this and all things. Have a blessed day.

It took me a while to finally realize I DESERVE to be able to do things without my kids sometimes. My husband and I went on a trip to Mexico that I won a couple years ago, left the kids with my mother. They had a great time, I had a great time, and it went well. Now, the flip side of that is we turned around and had an all-kids-choice family vacation after we returned. The kids were given the options, and they chose just about everything the whole trip. What time we got up, where we ate, how late we stayed out, etc... We all got the best of both worlds. There is nothing wrong with putting your daughter first, but make sure you take care of yourself too, and that means your mental health too. You have time to start giving her time to make the adjustment. When she is away from you with your mom, etc... have them plan something that is special to the both of them. That will give her something to look forward to when you are gone.

I am heading off on a cruise in 2 weeks, this time the kids go. I am still glad I didnt take the kids to Mexico though. An all adult week was just what I needed.

Hi S.,
Congrats on your chance to go on a cruise. I have a 8 year old daughter and while she spends the night at her grandmother's and aunt's house, it was not until this year that I made my first trip w/o her (or my little boy or my hubby:-) and she was a little panic-stricken herself -- crying at home and at school, telling everyone I was going on a trip w/o her; telling me not to go; saying she didn't want me to go. It made me feel bad and guilty for leaving her. BUT I WENT on my little 2-day trip and enjoyed it soooo much. I did let her teacher know that I was leaving just in case she acted a little different. The teacher was wonderful in looking out for her at school. My friend told me to write her letters for each day I was gone. So I did that and left little happies in the envelope as well. That seemed to really help both of us. The teacher also told me to kiss her hand and let her know she had a hanful of kisses from that she could use at any time. So my advice to you is to keep talking to your daughter about your trip, but maybe not so much right now since it's a while off, plan some "girls day outs" for just you and her in the meantime, explain to her that you would not leave her unless you know she would be in good hands, explain to her all of your duties and that at times you need "me" time and how you will come back more relaxed and ready to take on whatever she has planned for you. I know it's hard. I was having a hard time with 2 days, but trust me, she will be fine and you will too. I wish you well!

I would def GO!!! My husband and I just got back from Chicago and we left our 2 year old for a week!! Us mom's need a break!! She is used to going and spending the weekends, once or twice a month, with her grandmas and it was no big deal for a week. This is an opportunity for you to get a break and I would NOT pass it up! I would talk it out with your daughter and just reassure her that you will be back in a week!! The separtation anxiety I understand and she is old enough to really understand that you will be back...I would try a weekend here and there to help her out with this, to know you will return. I hope this helps but overall you have to do what your heart tells you too.

J.

It sounds like you're a wonderful mother, to be thinking this through so carefully.

I would start small by leaving her for very short amounts of time (rather than overnight at your mom's, start with a few hours here and there). Instead of you "leaving" her, how about switching around the scenario? Give her the opportunity to join some friends at a party, afternoon at the movies with another mom, or something like that. Gradually introduce the idea that you are going somewhere for a couple of hours, creating a separation beyond school and any other regular activities that she is involved in. Go out with some girlfriends of your own, or take a couple of hours for yourself. Eventually she can go to slumber parties, Grandma's overnight, Grandma's for the weekend, etc.

You get the idea. Over the course of a couple of months, you will probably see your daughter comfortably adapt to longer times apart, and by the time you go on that cruise, she will miss you but be fine.

Not only are you not ditching your responsibilities as a mother by helping your daughter to get accustomed to such separations, but I think this is a lovely opportunity to help her find security and enjoyment in new situations and on her own a little. If you don't push her too much, she might really blossom through this process! And you can enjoy your time guilt-free.

L.

GO, GO, GO, & let dad & grandma baby-sit. Or maybe she can spend a few nights with a friend. Your daughter may learn that she won't die if mommy's out of site for a while, & you might learn that you REALLY needed a break.

Have Fun, take lots of PICS & video, & DON'T CALL HOME.

(of course, if she's having legitimate, actual panic attacks [mine started at age 10, for no apparent reason], then that might be another story. But if she's just being clingy & whiny then GO)

C.

You should SOOOO go on this cruise. This is a time for you. You seem like a wonderful mother and every now and then you need to separate from you children. It is OK! to be alone and want to do something for yourself. You deserve it!
You can't be the mother who never leaves her child alone. My Cousin is going through this. Her daughter (4) has never stayed the night without her and she is miserable. You need to take that time for you, as an adult. You won't be a horrible person or mother, so if someone is telling you that, they are liars and just trying to be hurtful! So go!!! :)

No doubt, YOU NEED TO GO! This will not scar your daughter. She is plenty old enough to not have you around for a short period. Dad can handle it. Feeling mother's guilt is your enemy and completely defeating. Go Go Go. Don't be a martyr.

You deserve time without the kids, so go and enjoy yourself. Your daughter will get over it.

my best freind throughout school has always been close to her mom her spending the night at anywhere even my house which was right down the street was hard in HIGH SCHOOL,lol. She will be fine though it is a good experience for you and for her to be with family. So go have fun she knows you will be back tell her you will call her everyday and bring her a gift. that would be my bribe anyway,lol. Good luck, By the way my freind is still close to her mother,lol.

I don't think there is anything wrong with you taking a trip during Spring Break! It sounds as though your husband is going to be at home with your children and 8 yrs old is old enough to start spending time away from you. Maybe you could start by having her stay at your Mom's alone or possibly having a friend over to spend the nite and then having her stay at the friend's house. Also, trade places with another bible school teacher. You might also consider therapy. But, don't think you are "ditching" your responsibilities - you sound like a wonderful mother, concerned about her daughter.

I think it is VERY important to have some alone time with your husband. And maybe sit your daughter down and explain that sometimes parents need time alone with each other.

S., you have received good advice from everyone- all insisting that you go. Your letter is a bit surprising though- I didn't realize that anyone would consider NOT going because an eight year old insisted that they stay home.

Another perspective is this: Your daughter needs to SEE you have the confidence to leave the family and have fun with your friends. She needs to know that adults do these things. It will give her something to look forward to when she is your age. I go on trips all the time. I have two boys, a husband and a few pets. If I don't go, I would undoubtedly lose my mind and abandon my family. Every year I go somewhere with my best friend who lives in another state. My kids actually are proud of me and tell stories of my travels to their friends and teachers. Its really cute. I've been overseas twice in the last year and a half and that gave me quite a bit of confidence. (I wish my husband would leave town for a short while!)

Let's not make this about her, but make it about YOU. It is like going to a seminar and taking a parenting class. Plus, it helps give both Dad and daughter new-found confidence. My husband always grumbles when I leave but when I get back, he's always so proud of something that he accomplished without me. Have fun!

You should totally go, she will be fine. However, if you are just going to worry about her the whole time you are gone then you may not have a good time so think about that too. As mothers, we too often think of ourselves last and trust me that can get to you eventually and then your family starts to expect it (not on purpose, but they know no different of you). It's very important that we take care of ourselves and not feel guilty when given the opportunity to go on a cruise without the children. I say go and have a great time!

I say go. I also am a 44 year old mother of a 7 year old. To help me with the every day things I go through and to relive a little stress. I go once every 6 months on a weekend or four day trip with girl friends. You as a mother need a break also and you also need me time.

I SAY GO YOU NEED ME TIME AND LOTS OF IT ONCE IN A WHILE.

go go go go go go go go go go go go

and to help may be one of the grand parents can come and stay with the children during the day.

Go for it girl you need it!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

OK, who is the adult here? Maybe you can plan something with your daughter for before the cruise, or soon afterward. Maybe between now and spring break you need to work on time apart. As a child, I would rather spend time at my grandma's (she played with me, while my mom was all work) than be at home. I was already spending 2 weeks with both sets of grand parents by 8 years old. I didn't spend any time anywhere else until I was about 12.

As a para at school, you can slip in and talk to your school counselor or a trusted teacher, someone who has children of their own. What does your husband say?

B. M.

Lots of people do it, and don't even think twice about. No, I don't think you are a bad Mom if you do it, but I will tell you I went about a year ago, and I took both of my children (I'm like you and don't leave them) and both of my kids had a blast going. At the time one was eight and the other was 3. We had the best time and are planning to do it all again and go Eastern Carribean this time. We went Western last time. I say do whatever you really want to do. If you think it will be hard, then don't go. If you think you can do it, then by all means try it. It is a wonderful experience!

Heavens, girl, go! I'm a divorced mom of a now 14 yr old, I have two other friends, one is single and the other married. About 5 years ago, we started our "mom's weekends", usually leave on Fri. and come back Sun. or Mon. About 3 times a year, the three of us take a weekend trip to somewhere, without the kids or hubby and it's great. Nothing major, just time for ourselves. My son was 9 when we started and he too had "separation anxiety" as did some of the others. Now he laughs about it, and I think he's the better for it. Our last trip was to Calloway Gardens - it was great!

I am also 44 and we have a 9 yr. old daughter and 17 yr. old son so I can really relate to these ages. I have a group of friends and family members (all girls) who take an annual girl's cruise and we love it. We all have kids and miss them but we LOVE getting away. At 1st our daughter was a little worried about me going, but now she is used to it. She gives me a little stuffed animal to take with me and I give her something to keep until I return. If your daughter has a best friend or two, maybe she could also spend the night with them for a night while you are away. Another thing, you didn't say why you were going over spring break (chaperoning?). During those weeks, cruise ships and most tourist destinations are crazy with TONS of college age and high school kids drinking usually too much. We enjoy drinking and having fun too but not at that level and surrounded by under-age (usually 18 in those situations). You will have fun, but if you have another time to pick, I would recommend going then, not during Spring Break.

All I have to say is....

If you don't do things for yourself, take care of yourself, and be a separate person from your family on some level...you lose yourself. If you've lost yourself, how can you give of yourself?? I think this is a wonderful opportunity for both you and your daughter...have fun, take lots of pictures to share with her...she'll learn that it's ok to have fun when she's all grown up, what an excellent example!

Don't forget the sunscreen...
~K.

Hi S.,
No you're not ditching responisibilities as a mom. You're actually finding time to capture a moment that you may never have another opportunity to explore. A good way to prepare her is to drop the excitement about going on the trip and don't mention it for a while. Then let her stay over night with her closest friend in the neighborhood,at school or church from time to time. I would talk with one or two of her friend's moms and see if they could help you out once a month by inviting your little one over. You could do the same for them as well, giving each husband and wife a night with the house all to themselves. It may be scary the first couple of times but soon she'll feel more comfortable about being away from you and then maybe you could have her spend two or three nights away from home during Winter break(if your school has one). Soon she'll feel more confident in who she is and more secure in leaving home and leaving your side for a few days. by the time Spring is here she should be a happy as a lark or at least more comfortable aboutt he whole thing. Wish you the best of luck,

S.,

Go on the cruise!!! Your daughter is 8 years old, not 8 months. It will be good for her to develop some self reliance. You are a great mom for being concerned, but you should definitely go. You don't want to have resentment towards her because she was the reason you didn't take this opportunity. It will make you a better, more refreshed and rejuvinated mom! Go Girl!

As a professional and a mom, I think it's important to have a balance. I would definitely go on your cruise. Your daughter is old enough to understand that the vacation would be good for YOU!! You obviously do all you can for her so....it's time to do something for yourself. I'd start by telling your daughter she's going to have a wonderful time with her grandparents (or whomever she's staying with) and start giving her nights with them. Start with a Friday and move up to Friday and Saturday nights so she can see she'll do fine. Have a little extra fun time for the both of you - and let her see growing up is fun!

Hope things work out!
M.

GO! GO! GO! GO! I am a mother of 4 kids and never did anything for myself. I always felt guilty for doing something without my kids, so I wouldn't do it. Now I'm forced to stay home with a terminally ill husband and regret not doing more for myself when I had the chance. Don't get me wrong, I'm thankful that I have time to spend with my husband, but I also feel like that is all I have ever done is take care of people. Also, one cruise would be good for both of ya'll. Your daughter needs to learn the separation thing. You are not leaving her every weekend to party, so it will be good for you to go.

Are you kidding. Not only will this be good for you, but it will be good for your daughter. She is just a little too old to be clinging like this. She will never become confident and self assured if yuou hold her hand every second. Go have a good time and your child will be just fine.

Separation anxiety is normal in preschool children. This has gone on way too long. Spring Break 2009 is still 7 months away, giving you time to work with your daughter on separation. Obviously, she won't be alone while you are on the trip, she will be with dad and brother. She is really missing out on a lot in life by not being able to separate, you will be doing her a favor to teach her now to enjoy time at a friends house or in an activity without you. It's time for her to spread her wings a little bit and you can go on your trip without guilt.

Go for it!!!! It will be good for both of you. She's got time to get used to the idea-have her spend the night with the
g-parents some more and with friends. And she'll get over being angry at you for going when you bring her a cool souvenier from your trip!!
You are not ditching your responsibilities-this time will make you a happier and better mom!!

S., I know it's hard to separate from the baby of the family , but I would say GO! In the mean time you should make some opportunities to separate for a night or two at the time so it will be less tramatic when the time for your cruise gets here. Is there a best friend that could swap nights for sleepovers, or a favorite aunt that could have her for a weekend? As a mother of 5 I know that making special time alone with your husband can also strengthen your marriage bonds. So, start planning a special date for you and your hubby once a month that requires all children to spend the night elsewhere.

Most mothers experience this. Mine are grown and the best advice I ever got from my husband he gave me before either of them was born. He encouraged me to plan once a week to leave them with someone; a grand, a friend, another relative, him, a trusted nursery or day care. I was a stay at home mom to 2 children born within a year and nine days of each other. Almost like twins. His advice came when I was pg with the first and we were out together shopping and saw an overtired mom(with and overtired child) scream at and slap her toddler in a crowded store. He about came unglued and never believing I would do that, wanted to made sure I remembered to have time for me. We weren't perfect parents at all but that lesson stuck with both of us and we followed it. Now they are in their thirties and none the worse for being able to adjust. So by all means go, but do lots of planning bgeinning now for your sake and hers. The only other advice I would give is follow the great ideas you have gotten; go with the beginning now for HER to have some time for HER sake, have special things planned, not all the time but sometime so she when she is gone it is not just going but "great" and maybe a never again or not until the circus comes to town next year. And, about that not calling, whatever you think is best but I did when I left during their early years leave them a special toy or something I knew they wanted and also left special notes (not too mushy but to let them know I was thinking of them) written before I left that was given to them each day I was gone. Also kids love to get mail, I have never been on a cruise so I do not know the details but if you could send her a chatty postcard that might help. Have a blast and maybe plan with her something later for the two of you and/or include Daddy as well. When I became a working mom all this made the transition easier on all of us.

Hi S..

At eight years old , she should not be so tied to your apron strings! I say GO! She has to learn that YOU need time to yourself, too. If I had that chance, you would be seeing my dust behind me! :) You deserve a break from all the normalcy of your life. It will do you (and them) a world of good! Just think how much more your husband will appreciate you when you return!! Good luck and have a wonderful trip!!

GO!

I think you need the time and it's okay to need that. If your husband is behind you, you shouldn't worry about it being right or not. I know you are concerned about your daughter, but it will be good for her to see that she can function without you for a time and that you love her and will be back!

I don't think you will regret going. I went to the beach for a weekend with girlfriends and I have never regretted it.

WOW! That sounds awesome. Maybe you can do something this summer in exchange for her accepting you going. May send her for a week of summer camp. Then make sure whoever watches her that week keeps her busy and having fun. Promise her you will bring her a souviner.
I think it will be good. Then again I am alot like you. I can give this advice. Would I be able to? I dunno my kids go EVERYWHERE with us.
Good luck have fun and let us know what you decide.
Jan

S.: Absolutely you need to go on the cruise! She's 8 years old and, especially if she can stay with her grandma! It's time to loosen the apron strings--for sure! She needs to trust that you are going to go on the cruise and have some "adult time" and that you will be back for her! Think about it, you are 44, have already raised one child and are working on raising your daughter--plus, this will probably help the anxiety she suffers any time the two of you are seperated. Once you get back, she will have gained the trust that it's okay for you to leave her with someone and do something that's "fun" for mom, because she will see that left and YOU CAME BACK! I just think that at 8 years old, you should be able to leave her with someone you trust. I've raised 4 kiddos myself--2 step sons, 1 daughter and my youngest son, who is 15. (22, 18, 18, & 15) and I would have went crazy if my husband and I didn't take time to ourselves without the kids over the years! Trust me, she will be fine and she's definitely old enough to understand the concept that mom needs to do things by without her sometimes! Go on the cruise, have fun and know that this is probably the best thing you could do for your daughter to make her understand that even though you aren't taking her, she will be fine and you will be home.........

Good luck and let me know how it goes! Go have fun on the cruise!

God Bless,

S. Woodall

Try to prepare her the best you can...maybe plan some fun events for her while you are gone (dinner out with Dad, a movie, a day at the fun park, etc) and ENJOY!!!! Check out the amelite jewelry in Mexico (Cozumel) if you go there. And be sure to swim with the stingrays in Cayman Islands...it's AWESOME!!!

Take the cruise, your daughter will be fine; she may not like the situation, but she will cope with it in her own way. Plus, this will give you time to recharge and relax and have time just for yourself, which everyone needs.

Wow! Sounds like fun!!! I think you should go an vacation and have a good time. I think it would be good for you and for your daughter to have some time apart. She will gain some confidence and independence by being away from you for the week. Sure she will miss you but you will probably miss her more. You should take time to do something nice for yourself so you can come back feeling rested and refreshed so you can be a better wife and mother. I hope you go and have fun!!

I am a 48 year old mom with a 19 year old daughter who was much like your daughter at that age. I found that by planning "mini" trips, starting with a couple of hours and working up to a full day, then a weekend overnight trip helped my daughter. The separation anxiety usually comes down to fear that I would not come back, so by creating situations where I left her and came back, repeatedly, eventually helped her trust that I would be back. Before leaving for a full week next spring, I would suggest you ease her into separating from you. And be prepared for her to get upset and use all her skills to make you not leave her (crying, screaming, tantrums, etc.). This is her natural instinct, but she can learn to tolerate separation from you. And if you are firm about working the plan, she will eventually get on board with you. But if you cave in, just once, the plan will be sunk! Good luck!

Sounds like seperating even for a slight week would benefit her. She should slowly have some independence from you and as a hardworking mom I truly think you should be allowed to recover and rest for a least one week in 8 years time. You have time to get her use to the idea. Go for it and it will be like a lesson for your daughter. You are her mom wherever you are and sometimes mom's do things for themselves. Also, she will have to learn to maybe go to dad for help or grandparent or whatever just for that week. She will learn that others can guide and direct even if mom is not available.

Three weeks from today I will be going on a cruise WITH my 2 yr old daughter, my mom, my nephew, and his wife...I am a single mom. My situation is different than yours...I went through five rounds of IUI to become pregnant with my daughter and personally would never even contemplate leaving my daughter to go on a vacation. I waited for 34 years to become a mom and have chosen to put her first in all aspects. I am not saying that you should not be allowed to have a life as well, but you should never do anything that will put undue stress on your child. She is, afterall, only going to be a child once. I am sorry if this sounds crass, but you chose to become a mom...and moms sometimes don't get to do the things they would like to do.....that is the way life goes....

I see nothing wrong with you going. This may give dad some quality time with her and she will be ok. It's time for mom time. We all gotta have a little of that. Good luck

I remember my mom's mom passed away when I was about 9 years old. My dad was Army and we lived overseas; our parents decided to go to the funeral themselves and to leave me and my two sisters (11 and 6) in the care of a trusted family friend. We spent a week or more with this family and I remember this was the first time I'd had sandwiches made with homemade wheat bread, or crunchy peanut butter, and we had other experiences that were unique. We missed our parents, but we had kids our age to play with and we were still in school.

I'd say that treating your child like she cannot survive without you, will cause her to believe that herself. Having some time without mom around will let her experience new things, and she will likely have some experiences she wouldn't have otherwise, which will stay with her forever. And she'll find that missing you is not fatal, which will help her later with summer camps and moving out on her own. Think of it this way: by giving her chances to learn independence, you ARE fulfilling your role as a parent. So have fun on the cruise!