Mom Going Back to work...how to Get Help from Kids? Yikes!

uh oh. There are 2 T. Ks in the world. What now?

Same thing here. I am an enabler and it was easier so I thought for me to do things myself, insert my hubby. After much fighting him on this I handed over some responsiblities to the teens and my 8 year old.

I would not have it any other way. They wash thier own clothes every Friday, I have instructed them to put the clothes (new) that I want to wash in a certain place for me to wash.

I have not washed a dish in a while they have the after dinner routine down packed from sweeping the floor to making sure the kitchen sink is clean. Now this took time and a lot of dishes were rewashed but they now know how to wash dishes properly and I LOVE IT!!!!

I look at it like this when they graduate and go to college they will know what to do!

If you are going to work full time you have to hand over some chores for them not even for you but for them and you must follow up after them to make sure it is done. It teaches them discipline something they will need in college and the working world.

T. K from Grand Prairie I thought that was you!!!!!LOL!!!

All but the baby are old enough to do stuff around the house. The little one can pick stuff up. Th e older three can help you cook. My oldest started cooking at 11. The older ones can do laundry. You need to sit down with them and let them know as a united front that they will start helping. don't give them an out. They are old enough to have dinner on the table when you get home. Let them know your expectations and what your reward system will be if there is one. At one point before my oldest was in band, private lessons for band (required by school) and piano lessons we gave him an allowence. Now not so much anymore and our youngest does gymnastics and will complete next year so they get extra mone every now and then but not on a regular basis.

Good luck and God Bless!!!

Yes, you should and will need to give them more responsibility. Just announce that is the way it is going to be. this is where you have to be firm, you should not ask for help, but tell them that things are changing and this is the way the family will run from now on.

To start, write down all that needs to be done and assign chores. Rotate chores for variety. Really, when you have all of the chores written down, it will be hard for any of them to think that your name should be after all of them. If anyone even hints that mom's name should be after 99 chores, just give them "the look" and say REALLY? They will get it if you are clear and matter of fact and do not back down.

This does help them prepare for life in the real world, since they probably will not have maids when they are on their own.

My mom made us all clean on Saturday morning together. She would make a list the night before and put it on the dining room table with instructions of how many jobs we each had to do. You could make a list specifically for the 5 yr old and assign an older child to help her do her list. We would claim the jobs we preferred by writing our initials next to them and when they were finished we checked them off. We could wake up any time we wanted, as long as we got all our jobs done by noon. One of my brothers would wake up at 6 am to put his initials on his preferred jobs and go back to bed until 11:00. I tended to wake around 9:00 and take my time getting ready for the day and cleaning for 3 hours. If we ever did not finish our jobs in time, we lost privileges. We were never allowed to go out with friends until the jobs were done. Then throughout the week we took turns with the dishes, setting the dinner table, and cooking. One year we complained so much about washing dishes that Mom traded us that job for the job of cooking dinner. My brother and I cooked dinner 4 times a week while Mom washed all the dishes. If need be, offer rewards. :) Throughout the week, my kids (8, 6, 3) get a reward for every 2 jobs they do willingly. On weekends they have to do 3 for a regular reward or a larger reward for a big list of things. This is because I get tired of charts and keeping track of everything for everyone. We try to make games out of cleaning, but sometimes I'm too busy for the games and it's all about accomplishing tasks. You can do it! Good luck!

This would be a good time to start preparing them to leave the nest. Start with the older ones with cleaning bathrooms, doing laundry (their own) and making dinner. The five year old can set the table.

It is better that you do it now and they get practice and you can help them with the hurdles than for them to go to college and have pig pens to live in. Their roommates won't want to clean up after them.

On the weekends you can all do the cleaning together and have it done in about 2 to 3 hours.

You should be able to come home to a home cooked meal and enjoy it without have to try to figure out what is for dinner. In fact you can post a list of meals for the week and they can cook them.

Good luck.

The other S.

PS When I was coming up I recall many of my friends having to start dinner for their families and this was before the "latch key" kids were identified. I too made meals and they had better be ready when mom or dad came home or all hell broke lose.

It takes a team to make things work.