Mohter in Law

hi A. i believe the best thing is to be honest with her and ask her not to do it....honesty is the best way to keep things simple

You need to set boundries, or suggest that she watch the kids at her home.

I would have my husband have a little one on one with his Mother...or I would ask her to babysit at her house. Other than that, the only suggestion I have is to put padlocks on all the cabinets...LOL.

Hi A.! I read the responses. They all sound good. I was wondering how you knew that she snooped. I think the best idea is to talk to her, if it's not too awkward. I obviously don't know her or how she would respond. Another idea...all go out together, kind of. For example, you & hubby go eat somewhere, and she and the kids eat somewhere close by. Maybe that's stretching it a bit.

i love lacy's idea. and that's what i thought of when i read this before reading any responses. i would try lacy's idea first and see what happens. maybe in the medicine cabinet leave a list of things she could buy that you are out of from the medicine cabinet!!!! good luck!!!!!!!

I'd hang post-its that say (No Snooping Please) in places she shouldnt be looking. But that's my personality, I have the guts to do that, I just figure if they have the guts to snoop, I have the guts to call them on it, in a "save face" sort of way, maybe she'll get embarrassed but not say anything to you because she wont know you posted them for her and she'll just walk away from snooping and act like she never saw them.
If It continues, I'd just say "didnt you see my "no snooping" signs?" but again, thats my personality.
I wouldnt know what do do other than that, I'll have to read and see what other people suggest.
Maybe you could have your husband talk to her, it may be easier for her if she thinks its him that noticed and not you.
GL.

Having to hide things in your own home is a lot to pay for babysitting. Is it worth it to you?

Take her up on the offer but at her place instead of yours if that is a reasonable option. She may just snoop if she is bored and the kids are asleep or busy. It is hard to stay occupied in a place where you don't have much to do without butting into something.

I was on the other end of this one and even something as innocent as washing the dishes could be taken the wrong way. I tried not to open cabinets or look at things and there was nothing to do. Now when I go see my kids I stay in a hotel and let them come see me, and I babysit from there. Less stress for all of us.

I have the same thing~ and she comes over all the time unannounced!! Not cool~ so what I had to do is tell my husband to talk to her~cause she takes everything so.. personnal and its better if it comes from his mouth instead of mine!!~ and it did help even though we didn't see each other for about 2 weeks but she will get over it~expecially cause you have the kids she will want to see them!! At least my mom in law did! But it was really hard!!
So I know exactly how you are feeling~it sucks!! Cause you know she takes really good care of the kids but I always hated coming home and seeing what mess she made or what she might have seen or what she might have gotten into!!
You could also just have her babysit at her house!! Even if it is a drive it will at least keep your house, your house!! Thats what we do sometimes now!!

Good Luck!!

I have to say the note idea is a good one, I would leave notes in with the bills that say 'if you feel the need to look at them please feel the need to pay them!' or in the meds put 'lmk if the kids are giving you a headache' :D things like that keep it light hearted and at worst she will stop, at best she will pay your cable bill!

I would just hide what you don't want her to see, I personally don't see a big issue, I might if she was digging in my safe or on top of my closet, but anything left laying around or in a drawer, is fair game to me, I have nothing to hide.

It is possible that she is feeling left out of the loop, and is really trying to find out how her family is doing? Just a thought. Or maybe she is just one of those naturally curious people, like me I must admit :).

Well, Im a little bolder than most. I'd put something super embarrassing for her to find...Viagra in the medicine cabinet, g-strings in the underwear drawer...after all, if she is going to snoop, shouldn't she find something good? lol You could always put notes up, like "See anything you like?" or "Look but don't touch!". Or you could tell her that (for another reason) you put nannycams throughout the house...that might curb her appetite for snooping!
~L.

Can she watch them at her house instead of coming to yours?

If not, you should have your husband talk to her about the snooping. And hide your mail and anything else you don't want her to see. I mean really hide it! :-)

I know it would be a little more work for you,but take the kids to her house.Then she wouldn't be able to go through your stuff.I had the same problem in my 1st marriage.This didn't start no problems with my then husband and the children loved going and visiting.

When I first read this, I thought the same thing that Lacy did ... hide something she won't want to see, except I was thinking even spicier things. ;) She would know that most people have fun things to liven up their sex life, but probably don't want to see her sons!! I liked the idea of the notes in with the lingerie. If she said something to you about them, you could just say the were left for your husband, but then ask how she even knew about them.

As for the bills and personal documents, invest in a small file lock box. There are some that are big enough to hold a year's worth of stuff, and after that (with the exception of tax information), you can shred it. Another thing you could do is check with the different businesses and see if you can get a big sent via email. I know our bank will send financial statements via email and our telephone company will to. It's worth checking out, AND it saves the environment ... less paper!!

Good luck!

i to would put some kind of note up and see if she move them or sayy anything to you about how rude they were