Miscarriage and Blood Transfusion!

I'm so sorry you had to experience this. To have to mourn such a loss and then to suffer through the added scarriness must be awful.

I actually have a client who went through pretty much the exact same situation. Email me with your contact information and I'll have her call you or email you, whichever you prefer.

S. Mills
Touched By An Angel
Childbirth Services, Inc.
____@____.com
www.angeldoula.com

Dear W.,

First let me say that my heart and my prayers are with you over the loss of your child. No mother should ever have to endure that much pain. Just please know that you are in my prayers.

I can't honestly say that I have had a miscarriage, but what I can tell you is that I was completely infertile....no chance of ever getting pregnant after operations, meds, etc. and nothing worked because I never ovulated. I say that I can't "honestly" say that I miscarried, because whether or not I ovulated in my whole life, I still bled. The doctors finally determined that it was a "break down" of the uterine wall and instead of me having a "period" like I thought, it was actually hemmoraging. This happened from age 12 until I was 30. God does answer our prayers and through all that was so wrong with my body, my husband and I were blessed with our own biological child with the help of a new drug.

Nine and a half weeks into my one and only pregnancy, I developed multiple Thecoludian cysts on both of my ovaries, lost 4-5 units of blood which was bleeding into the ovaries themselves causing them to grow to the size of footballs. My blood count was down to 5 when it should have been around 32-34....not good. Both my unborn child and I were dying...plain and simple. It was crucial to put the blood that I had lost back to at least save me and hopefully my baby, so I received blood tranfusions. This was back in 1987 and many things have improved since then regarding transfusions and it is still a very real and justified fear that anyone would have who must receive blood in an emergency situation. I was not given the opportunity to receive my transfusion from a family member because it was critical that I received the blood immediately. The process back then would have taken at the minimum of 3 days to process a family member or anyone else's blood. I had no choice if I wanted to live and if I wanted any chance of my baby surviving as well.

I'm not sure if you are questioning the blood transfusion that you received or if you are concerned about something else. If I have read you wrong, I do apologize, but if I have read you correctly....you are not alone. I was a complete "basket case" over receiving blood from someone I did not know for myself, but to put your unborn child at risk was just so traumatic...I had no choice....we both were going to die without it.

I am so blessed to announce that I delivered a healthy and beautiful little girl but certainly not without constant and severe pain and trauma throughout the whole process. The word "fear" doesn't even come close to discribing what I felt during that time.

She was born with absolutly no problems whatsoever, but that didn't stop me from always worrying and always looking for signs after she was born. She would get a cold and I would panic and think of the transfusion, she would get an ear infection and I would freak out thinking it was something more than just an ear infection.......it was something that I did not "put on" her, because I didn't want her to become the worry wort that I was, so I was able to manage my fears, but they were always there.

She is now attending her first year of college and I actually do not think about it anymore, or at least in the "panic, oh my what if" mode.

If the blood transfusion that you received is the root of your panic and anxiety, I do not dismiss your feelings...I understand them and I feel for you. What I can offer you instead of your panic and anxiety is that you have 3 wonderful children at home with you who need their mother desparately. Everything you do and everything you say, they are listening and taking in...you are their first "teacher". Understand with all your heart that God has placed these beautiful children in your care for a reason. He trusts you with their lives or you would not be so blessed as you are. Your nightmares, panic, and anxiety are real and they are justified, but you must lay them at God's feet, turn them over to Him and He will give you peace, He will give you mercy, and He will watch over you because He loves you and He has entrusted you with 3 precious souls. God doesn't make mistakes...He knows that you are a strong woman and mother and you need to know that and feel that way down deep within your soul. I know sometimes you may feel alone in this, but I assure you...you are not alone. That is what God wants you to know.

If it's big enough to worry about, it's big enough to pray about. I will be praying for you and I will be asking God to give you solace and peace in your times of panic and anxiety, and allow your love to shine through the hearts of your wonderful children.

May God bless you every day and I hope that this helps.

In Christ,
T.

This has happend to me I Lost my baby in November of 96 I was 4 months pregnant I guess the baby stoped thriving anyway my Husband took me to the Hospital in Colorado where we lived at the time They did an ultrasound to comform I was lossing our baby they said i was and said sorry they sent me home with one of them buckets told me to use the bathroom in there and to catch the fetus and to bring it back in when I passed it well the next day I was in soooo much pain and just sooo weak from all the blood I lost The Dt took a look at me asked why they didint do a D&C when I was there the night before I said I donty know then the Dr did the d&C.. afterwards the Dr told my mom and husband that I would of died if they didnt bring me back in that night, I would of bleed to death not to mention I could not pass the baby alone.. I had 3 pints of blood that night I stayed for 1 day.. Its very hard to still deal with today...

I miscarried in Dec of 1998 and I also had to have a D&C and blood transfusion. It was the worst experience I have ever had to deal with. Not only is it a terrifing experience for you own safty but also a very emotional trama to lose something so precious. I am sooo sorry that you have had to experience this. As for the blood transfusion, there is most likely nothing to worry about. The bloodbanks are much more knowladgeable and cautious then they used to be. Unfortunately, the emotional trama will take some time. Just know that this doesn't mean you can't have more children if that is what you want. I have sense had two more. Most likely you never forget the experience but it becomes much easier to deal with in time. Should you decide to have more children, please work with your doctor very closely and make sure he/she is aware of you circumstances. For me, I had a severe case of postpartum depression after my next child. I was told by my doctor, that a woman that has suffered a miscarriage is more likely to become depressed after giving birth to another child. i think it is because of all the stress and worry during pregnancy. I hope this helps and please feel free to email me privately should you feel you need someone to talk to.

S.

Hello W.. I had a miscarriage in August of 2006. I was 2 months pregnant. I called to ask for advice on what my next step should be (as far as a D&C) and they told me that if I couldn't afford to pay $500 cash that day, that I should just let my body go through it. I did that and it was AWFUL. I bled so much. I didn't start hemorrhaging, but I had no energy (to the point I could barely stand up), I was extremely pale with dark circles under my eyes and the pain was ridiculous. When I called them again to ask if all of that was normal, they told me that it was going to be like labor for a week. I still think about it and have nightmares because of the blood. My blood (like period blood) clots VERY easily so my blood was coming out in like saucer-plate sizes. I probably should have gone to the ER now that I am really thinking about it. I am sorry for your loss. I constantly think about the fact that I would be 8 months pregnant right now. It's just sad and I don't really have anyone to talk to about it either.

Dear W.,

I am not a nutritionist but have studied the subject for many years. You are severely deficient in many nutrients which is normal from having gone through the shock you have been through. I would get a very good multiple vitamin from the health food store. Also protein shakes and extra B vitamins. There is a cacium - magnesium powder that you can make like tea. This will help the anxiety. You can purchase dessicated liver for anemia. Any liver meats are good for anemia as well, so are raisins, apricots, watermelon and others.

Good luck to you, I hope you feel better soon.

Sincerely,
D.

No I have not been in your shoes and pray that I will never have. I am pregnant with my first baby, a boy. And as you know I'm am terrified of what could be. I worry alot, not so much as I did in the beginning. But, you have kids and you no what to expect so i can't really give you advice (but I will try!) As I hope you will do the same for me! I'm 5 months pregnant now and I'm just so excited but nervous. What's the birth going to be like? What risks are ahead of me. Just stay calm and enjoy the children you do have. ANd keep being a great Mom. Keep in touch, I could use all the friends I can get!!

first of all you went through something really hard , you need to greive and take some time for that.You not only lost your child but you went through the whole hospital experience where they did things to your body that don't usually get done.Having anything done to you in a hospital can be hard,you probably feel defiled.Take time for that,greive the baby and greive the procedures,and then start to feel like you're ok. Your bodies back to normal your family is back to normal but the love that you gave to that child was and is real. Don't fight it ,you need to cry ,cry-you need to be angry be angry-be happy that you had her for three months,she was here for three months for a reason,love her for that.Try to slowly let go of what happened to you in the hospital and honor the child and your family for going through this together,that's what matters.hope you feelbetter-B.

I can only relate to half of your situation. I also had a miscarriage and I was 16 weeks along. It was my 2nd pregnancy and almost 7 years ago, but I remember her (baby was a girl) often. I recieved a D&C also, but did not loose as much blood or require a transfusion. I would be happy to talk to you if you'd like.

By the way, I also have 3 children ages 10, 5 & 3!!

I have also had a miscarriage. I was 3 months pregnant (2002)and I started to bleed so I went to the hospital. They did a sonogram, I saw my baby, heard its heart beat, the baby was fine or so thats what the told me. They set up a regular obgyn appointment up for 4 days later. At the doctors office they did another sonogram and the baby was dead. The obgyn told me that the hospital knew that there was something wrong and he didn't understand why the hospital had told me that everything was fine and to just take it easy. I was of course distraught. I wanted the baby out of me right then and there. He told me there was nothing he could do for me that day, to come back in the morning. I had to go home knowing that I was carrying my dead baby inside me, and wait for 14 hours. I came back the next morning and was waiting for my D&C, when I started having contractions. No one told me that this would happen. I am sorry for your loss, losing a baby the way you and I did is horrible. Losing a baby in anyway, is a terrible loss. I still have nightmares myself and I don't think that they will ever go away. I have since had a baby boy. He will be 2 next month. Nothing will take away what we have been through, but just know that there are people who understand and care. I hope you have a blessed day. I believe that I will one day see my child in heaven. That is what reassures me. I hope this helps you.