Miscarriage - Elk River,MN

I had the same thing on pregnancy #5 (would have been child #3). My other two miscarriage the was a lot of bleeding. This time I was informed there was no heartbeat. My doctor (quack, quack) said to give it time. Then at my next appt. had the gall to tell me it had probably already passed and I missed it. I couldn't change his mind and this had not happened. Months later when they finally decide to do a D&C, I already had progressed into PID. I had gone through menapause and had a hysterectomy by the time I was 23.

Naturally, but it's up to you emotionally. I've had friends who have opted for the D&C because they were so freaked to have a dead baby inside them, but then felt raped after. I've had others that went to through the process WEEKS later and felt good about finishing the process that was started with labor/delivery/miscarriage.

Remember u/s are computers and the pepople using them are human....so they could be right, but I might get a second opinion in a week or so (at a different location) and don't tell the tech what you suspect.

I was trying to find this local article, where 2 u/s found no heartbeat, but then a midwife somehow got involved and she found a heartbeat. So, after being told her 2 weeks that her baby was dead, it was actually alive and she delivered it MONTHS later full term. I'll keep looking for it.

Either way, my heart goes out to you. My mom had 8 miscarriages and was told she'd never have any children. She told them to go to hell. I was pregnancy #9 and my brother was #10. ;)

There could be a chance your doctor could be wrong. Then again... he may not be. However, I would wait and let your body miscarry naturally. You don't want it lingering over your head... what if my baby was actually okay and I aborted her/him because I didn't wait..... You never know, ya know? The only way to find out is to wait.
I am sorry this is happening.

i would first wait it out a bit if you can and you're showing no signs of infection or anything like that could endanger your health(and if your mental health can withstand waiting). second, i'd do the med to induce. i would do a D&C last, my reproductive endocrinologist was recently telling me that they are seeing an increased rate of conception problems in women that have multiple D&Cs. all that said, before i did ANYTHING, i'd have another u/s. my OB would not TOUCH someone or prescribe the meds without a second opinion(she sent me to the radiology dept in the hosp) on the pregnancy loss. i am sorry you are going through this - i've been there three times.

I don't have any advice for you -- with mine, I was scheduled for a D&C but then miscarried naturally that morning. I think it's really up to you. You might want to have this be over with and thus do the D&C, but you should do what makes you feel most comfortable.

As for not knowing many people who have had miscarriages, actually, I bet you do. It's just that people don't talk about it. When I had mine I found out that of 8 women who taught along my hallway at school, half had had miscarriages. I'd never known that before I told them about mine. LOTS of women have been through this. I would tell your friends, so that they can give you support and sympathy, and along the way, you will find other women you know who've been through it.

I hope you're doing okay. Mine was devastating. I was a mess for five months, until I got pregnant again. However you are feeling is normal. Handle it the way that works best for you. Hang in there!

So sorry for your loss J.. I had a miscarriage in March of this year. I was 7 weeks along. I did start bleeding and cramping severly. I then had an ultrasound and not all of the tissue had passed. I decided to schedule a D&C so that I could know for sure that everything was out. The procedure was so very simple and I was home and comforable in less than 3 hours. I had minimal bleeding after for less than a week. I got pregnant two months later and am now 16 weeks along with a healthy pregnancy.

Decide what will work best for you. However, I just wanted you to know that there is nothing to be worried about with a D&C, as it is a very simple procedure. (and of course I know that everyone is different and has different experiences, but it was simple for me) Good luck and again, sorry for your loss.

Get a second opinion. I had what the doctor called a "blighted ovum" with my 4th pregnancy. He said there was no heartbeat or growth since the last appt and that I should wait the miscarriage out. My blighted ovum will turn 23 years old in November and was captain of the golf team all through high school. I named him Marcus :)

I am sorry that you are going through this experience. THis is a very personal question. Get all the facts from your doctor inlcuding the risks.

Personally, I would probably wait it out for a little while, then go for the medication. If that didn't work, I would use the D&C as a last result because it is invasive.

However, it depends on how you feel about it. I know it is not an easy decision to make, but ultimately you have to go with what you are most comfortable with. The reccomendation for a second opinion and ultrasound is a good one; but don't get your hopes up too much.

Take care, talk about it as much as you need to.

I am so sorry for your loss. No matter how early it happens it is still painful thinking about what could have been. I had three miscarrages between my first and second and when I started talking about it I realized that it happens more often than I thought to so many women. My hairdresser has three children and had miscarrages between all of them.

My first miscarrage was the worst and it happened around 6 weeks. I just decided to let my body do what it does naturally. So one evening I started having cramps and started bleeding. It started fast and I bled so much (soaking through more than 2 pads an hour) I got nervous and went to the ER thinking I was loosing too much blood. By the time I got back to a room and the ER Dr checked me the bleeding had stopped and a sonogram indicated it had all passed. So my experience was a little traumatic and looking back I should have gone ahead with the D&C just to get it over with and also to avoid the ER medical bills (I had to meet the $500 deductable plus 20% of all charges). Neither way is fun but I would suggest going ahead with the D&C so you can get it over with and move on to trying again.

God bless and keep trying!

I'm so sorry you are going through this. I had 3 miscarriages and one happened exactly as yours is now. I choose to wait it out, and it took about a week to start. It was like a really heavy period with a lot of cramping and passing of blood clots, but it wasn't terrible physically (just emotionally). I didn't want to go through having a D & C... I think this should be your last resort. It takes the progesterone level in your body a while to come down to normal, then it will happen.
Again, I'm so sorry you are going through this. You will be in my prayers.

First of all, I am sorry for your loss.

I was 14 weeks when I was told I had a missed miscarriage. They determined the baby had stopped developing at 12 weeks, but 2 weeks later, I was still having bad morning sickness. After the doctor told me it could take days to many weeks to miscarry naturally, I decided to have a D&C. Mostly because I couldn't stand the fact that I was carrying a dead baby in me. The D&C was scheduled a week later and even then I was still having bad morning sickness. So 3 weeks after the baby died, I wasn't anywhere near naturally miscarrying. I was glad I chose the D&C.

Just remember to follow the doctor's orders as to when to try again. Some try too soon and end up having another m/c. I was told to wait until I had 3 normal periods before trying to conceive again. That took a bit over 5 months, but I got pg on the first try and carried full term.

Very sorry for your loss.I've had this happen 2 years ago-lost a baby at 16 weeks,had to have labour and ____@____.com after.
I'd chose D&C-it a horrible thing to know you have your dead baby inside and wait-you never know when the natural way might happen(my baby stopped growing at 14 weeks and at 16 I still had no sign that something wrong)
The other thing ,if your body waits too long to pass the baby,you might end up with serious infection(I did),I was for 2 weeks on very strong antibiotics.

J., I'm so sorry for you loss. This happened to me with my first pregnancy. It was the hardest thing I've ever gone through. I was 12 weeks along and they couldn't find the heartbeat at my ultrasound. I was devastated and couldn't stand the thought of waiting for a miscarriage to happen. I opted for the D&C and it was a quick procedure that allowed me to move on physically. Ultimately there is no right or wrong decision. Take care and know that you are not alone.

A.

I had this exact thing happen with my first pregnancy. It was a bit of a shock during the ultrasound when the (very unprofessional) tech told me what she was seeing (blighted ovum) and launched into a "Damn, I've seen three of these today" and "Oh, I'm so sorry!" rant. I'd never heard of this happening but now I know how common it is. Most of my neighbors had one or more miscarriages that I hadn't heard about.

I'm all for natural, so I waited almost three months during which I bled off and on and developed ugly acne, and just didn't feel good. Finally I had the D&C and felt better right after. (They did not suggest medication, or I think I would have chosen that). The procedure was a bit uncomfortable, and I got very nauseous from whatever pain medication they gave me during, but then I felt like myself again, and got pregnant again in two months.

Then had another miscarriage at about 9 weeks, but this one happened all at once and cleared and I felt fine again. My next pregnancy, just a few months later, turned out to be a wonderful and successful experience - she's 8 now!

I have had 2 miscarriages, one passed naturally and one with D&C. I highly recommend going the D&C route. It is quicker and helps you move on. I am very sorry for the loss you are experiencing. I know it is hard to talk to people now but you would be surprized at how many people you probably do know that have had them. I learned that it is not uncommon...not that it makes it any easier.

Hi J.,

I am so sorry for your loss. I can relate as I have just been through the same thing. I started losing my baby on 5 August 10 and decided to wait it out and let it happen naturally. It was agony, both physically and emotionally, the bleeding was a constant reminder of the baby I was losing. A week later and still bleeding, I went for another scan to see how things were going and discovered there were a lot of "bits". My doctor was worried about infection setting in and scheduled me for a D&C the same day. If I had known it was so simple and painless I think I would have done it straight away. Emotionally it made all the difference to me knowing that it was over, and that everything was ok physically. I bled for a couple of days but very lightly, with no pain.
I know it is a tough decision, and one that only you can make. I don't think there is a right thing to do or a wrong thing to do, it is how you are feeling emotionally.
Best of luck to you, and I am thinking about you.

I am so sorry for the loss of your baby. Know that you are not alone and many people miscarry. I misscarried Five years ago. I had a little spotting which I had had with my other two children and I was 12 weeks along so I wasn't concerned. They did the ultrasound and found that the baby no longer had a heart rate and had passed almost a month ago. I had a d&c two hours later and went home that night. The procedure was painless and I had no bleeding. I couldn't stand the thought of going to the bathroom and seeing this clump of tissue knowing it's my baby and having to flush it, Emotionally I didn't think I could handle it. My only regret is that I wish I had gotten a second opinion so that I don't have this little doubt in the back of my mind. I did get pregnant and go on to have a healthy little boy who makes me smile every day. Trust your gut instinct only you can know how you will handle it emotionally. Good luck and a big hug to you.

I am sorry for what you are going through. Losing a child hurts no matter if it is a miscarriage or a 22 year old like mine or a child who is a senior citizen. Allow yourself to mourn your loss and since it doesn't sound like it is a emergancy, take time to research each of the options you have. It is a personal decision and each person needs to make the choice which is right for them. Miscarriages are common, I never had one but I know many friends who have. Take it one day at a time.

My prayers are with you

I think a lot of it depends on your state of mind. I miscarried at 10 weeks and couldn't deal with the waiting, and not knowing how long I could be waiting. After two weeks I tried the medication to induce and it didn't work and then I finally convinced a doctor to do a D&C. It was the only way emotionally I could move on after the miscarriage.

I had a missed miscarriage 6 years ago. At 12 weeks I started spotting, went for an ultrasound and they found the baby died at 10 weeks. I was so devastated that I chose to have a D&C that day. Although it was terribly traumatic, I'm glad I went that route. The worst part was going to sleep pregnant and then waking up with no baby inside of me. So you are prepared, I'll tell you that I had a MASSIVE amount of bleeding immediately after the surgery for a few hours. More bleeding than I've ever experienced, and I've birthed 2 healthy babies since then, so be prepared for that. Anesthetic makes me sick so I had some vomitting that day also. After that I was pretty much fine with hardly any pain. I'm glad I had the D&C. Whichever way you go, it will be traumatic, but I believe that the D&C just brings closure much quicker. Then I could really started to grieve. One thing you may or may not have thought of, which most doctors don't suggest, is to have a chromosomal annalysis done on the baby for two reasons. One, to find out if the miscarriage was caused by something that could cause subsequent miscarriages in the future, and also because then they can tell you the sex of the baby if you want to know. It made it hard for me to know I lost a little girl, but better during the grieving process to know the sex. And no matter what anyone says, It does NOT matter that "this happens all the time", that "miscarriages are common", and you will NOT "get over it in time". You will remember this baby for the rest of your life - as you should. Your heart will never heal completely, but your life will go on. I like to think of my children as my 2 little angels on earth and my 1 little angel in heaven! Good luck to you, and God Bless

I'm so sorry. I went through this in June, I was 12 weeks when I actually miscarried but the baby stopped growing at 8 weeks. I really wanted to avoid the d&c so I decided to let it pass on its own. I guess I would have tried the medication if I didn't happen naturally but it did 4 days after the ultrasound. I also had my levels drawn every week to make sure they went all the way down (under 5). They were at 1 after I bled for a week (it was just like a period). I just had faith that my body would know how to handle it and it did. If you do decide to wait then you want to watch out for fever because that could indicate infection. Someone asked a similar question a couple weeks ago, if you click on my answers then you'll find it.

Sorry for your loss. I just experienced a miscarriage in July, and it took weeks for the miscarriage to happen on it's own. Actually I still need to go in again to make sure my HCG levels are normal, after a month and a half. Personnally if given the choice again I would have done the D&C for emotionally reason. Waiting for the miscarriage to happen is emotionally draining and it is a constant reminder. I wish you good luck with whatever choice you make.

when in doubt always get a 2nd opinion...no matter what it is...good luck

I have had two miscarriages and the first one, I was only in very early pregnancy and miscarried naturally. Lots of cramps that were like labor pains and heavy bleeding. Then my second pregnancy, I went to my first OB appointment almost 15 1/2 years ago when I was 9 weeks pregnant and the doctor found no heartbeat and no growth. I didn't have any signs of miscarriage at that time. I decided to wait it out a little. After several weeks of not miscarrying naturally and having lots of labwork and ultrasounds, I finally had the D & C done at 13 weeks. It was a relief to finally have the miscarriage done with so I could start moving on. We didn't tell anyone about it except for our parents. I wish that I would have shared it with others especially my friends at church to have their support. It would have made such a difference at that time. I did talk about it with them later and they grieved with me. I found that miscarriages were more common than I thought and that many of my friends had had them also, but just didn't talk about them. After these miscarriages I have had four children. I'm sorry that you have to go through this.

Hi J.,

Very sorry for your loss. We experienced a m/c about 8yrs. ago, I was 7wks pregnant. I did not do medication or D&C. Just let my body do what it needed to. I was anxiously waiting for the bleeding & the not so good part of it but it never happended. Didn't bleed (except for the initial spotting when we knew something wasn't right), no cramps. I just went back every few days to make sure my numbers were going down. I think if your numbers don't go down, then they would do the alternative meds or D&C.
Do what you feel is right, talk to your Dr., know all your options.
Remember, it's ok to talk about it and it's ok to cry!

Prayers to you!

I have been through this before. My doctor said the same thing to me. I had already started with some of the signs of miscarriage (I was bleeding). My doctor suggested the D&C because with the other 2 options, all of the "stuff" doesn't always come out with a natural miscarriage, and you end up having to go in for the D&C anyway. For me this was the best option.
If you ever want to talk, just send me a message.
I'm so sorry for your loss!

i know how you feel; i miscarried before my son also and it was devastated. so first and foremost; i am so sorry for your loss.

as far as what should you do - thats up to you. it all depends on how you feel. for me, i just wanted it done and over with. it was december 22 when i had my D&C. i didnt want the miscarriage to start on Christmas, and i just wanted it to be predictable, safe, and done with so that we could try again. not the best way to mourne i know, but i just wanted to be done. if it was a miscarriage, thats all, i didnt need it to carry on.

as far as what it was like, i was devastated and lonely (my hubby couldnt get off work, and i think he was mourning in his own way too, he feels horrible about it now...) and scared; i had never had any kind of surgery before - even though there is no incision, it was like surgery i guess. i remember waking up a couple times and i felt like i was just talking and talking and talking and talking... but im not sure. it was surreal. after i was very tired, and sad and of course had numb legs. :P
there wasnt any pain or anything, but the bleeding was interesting, and the discharge was large and i could literally feel them passing. it was wierd. but we got pregnant again 3 months later, and our son is the dream we always wanted, you know?

anyway, im so sorry again; its very painful to go through this. i hope that my story can help you decide. please dont hesitate to message me if you have any questions or just want to talk. its always nice to talk to someone who has been through it.
*HUG*

Well waiting it out (which I've done) is terrible. It's horrid to know your little baby is still in you and dead. I guess some could do that but I couldn't even though I wanted to stay natural.

With one of the miscarriages I took the little pill they insert into your vagina and that was the most painful thing. I've had 3 kids... two med free and this was worse. It all came on like a hurricane and was so painful. I took motrin and road it out but I'd never do that again. Then when a friend went through all that not to mention she couldn't stand the pain she had to get a D & C anyways.

But then with the D & C they can miss thing and you'll have to get two. Read about it happening quite a bit. If not it is a procedure where they scrape everything out of you, vacuum whatever. It can cause scar tissue over time I've told plus you have to wait 3 months to ttc again by most doctor's advice.

So, I'd weigh all that and decide which option is for me.

Sorry I'm so clinical about it. Just no reason to beat around the bush I figure. Each has there positives and negatives. After 5 miscarriages I'm just kinda numb towards it. I'm very sorry though. I know how bad this hurt. Sadly the worst thing was when I got pregnant again. I didn't care that one in four end in miscarriage at the beginning then once you've seen the heartbeat twice on the machine only a 5% chance. I've been a statistic now so with my 9 month olds recent pregnancy it was so hard. Every drop of blood every cramp I was just sure was the end. Just try and remember there can be a happy ending and I suggest a support group. It does help.

I would set a date. Give yourself a month or so and see how you feel as it goes along. This is one of those no turning back situations and maybe your body just needs a little time. My first child is 5 now and they thought there was nothing going on in there in the beginning. I have also had miscarriages and they all worked out in their own time. If by your set time it hasn't worked out then discuss your options with your doc again.

I am sorry for your loss. My situation was similar. I had an u/s at 8 weeks, was told the baby had died and I would m/s in a matter of days. It took almost a month, but it happened, naturally. I would not have done it any other way. I was lucky enough to be able to take that time off work and mostly just be home, not knowing when/how it would happen. It was very crampy and uncomfortable, but tolerable enough to deal with at home. I sent my dh and then 9 yo ds out of the house while it happened, I really wanted to be alone. You need to decide what is best for you. I am sorry and good luck.
S.