Misbehaved 10 Year Old! HELP!!!!!

Not much time to type right now but I just wanted to suggest trying more positive reinforcement instead of taking away things and punishing all the time.

Start a sticker chart(or coin/ticket jar) for having good manners, being polite, helping around the house, saying nice things to siblings, etc. Include whatever issues are important right now. Let him help or make the chart himself. Buy some new stickers that he can pick out. Decide how many stickers he can realistically get before getting a bigger weekly reward-something important to HIM. Ice cream, pizza, going to a park or special place, a new toy, etc. Show him that good things come from being nice, having good manners and being respectful. It may sound like bribing and in a way it is but it works because it is positive attention. Right now he knows he gets attention for doing negative things and you want to stop that NOW.

Also, make sure that you and your husband are being great examples of showing respect for each other, having good manners, treating each other and the kids nicely, etc. So many people don't see that they themselves are modeling that exact behavior that they don't like seeing in their kids. Not that you are, just that I see it a lot...especially when I was teaching before I stayed home with my kids.

Good luck, it's a tough age but it's so important to stop the negative attention before it gets worse.

I strongly recommend reading Parenting with Love and Logic by Cline & Fay. It will change the way you look at discipline!

Hi T.,

I too, have a 10 year old boy. They are certainly a different animal! The best advice I can give anyone about all child-rearing answers is to attend a Boy's and Girl's Town class on parenting. The one I attended (and now teach) is called Caring Skills for Christian Parents. There is a secular class as well, if you are not interested in the Christian part of it (which is really minimal in my experience.) I have raised all of my children by this method and I am telling you that if you are consistent with it's application, it will do wonders for your child's behavior and your family life as a parent. The key word is CONSISTENCY. It is a tremendous amount of work right at first, but the benefits are priceless. I have three teenagers and outside of an occastional smart comment, they are all very well-behaved, polite and trustworthy girls. My boy is my challenge as he is the youngest, and a boy (which does make a difference as they are wired a little differently!)

Many churches sponsor the classes, if you are local to Omaha, they have classes available often. It would be well-worth your time to check this out. Good luck!

C.

Hi I have a 10 year old as well. He is a handfull to say the least.. He has bi-polar disorder and one thing I find that sometimes helps is a reward system. Instead of taking things he has, reward him for the good behavior. We mark down the behavior for the day and for every day he has done well he gets points, and he can use his points for a toy or his choice of a night out choosing the movie or place to eat. He has tons of choices he can use his points for. You just have to come up with how many points for certain things, Not real complicated. It seems to give him an incentive for tht good behavior. Works harder for it. Good luck Hope I helped a little... If you ever want to talk just message me.

S.