Milk Allergy in Toddler

Updated on April 02, 2008
S.B. asks from Gloucester, MA
14 answers

Hi! My 21 month old son was diagnosed with milk protein allergy when he was an infant. Eliminating dairy from his diet (and mine - I breastfed until he was 16 months old) has been challenging, but now he is getting a little more independent it is getting even harder to control what he eats! I am a nervous wreck every time we go to play group, on play dates or when I leave him at nursery (at the gym). I always let everyone know that he had food allergies and I am trying to teach him to eat his snacks only but invariably he ends up getting his hands on something!! I am worried that this situation is going to cause us to become even more isolated than we already are (we moved here a couple of months before my son was born so didn't really know anyone around here to start off with). Obviously my priority is to keep him safe but we're starting to go stir crazy! Has anyone else been through this?? Thanks for any help!!

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So What Happened?

Thank you so much to everyone who took the time and energy to respond to my request! It is so comforting to know that I'm not alone! I had loads of responses and personal emails from moms with kids with milk allergy - I guess there are a lot of us out there!! In fact I'm thinking about setting up an online forum so that we can exchange dairy-free recipes etc. Would anyone be interested in something like that?? Thanks again everyone!

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L.O.

answers from Boston on

How severe is his allergy, and do you know that he hasn't outgrown it? We realized my daughter was allergic to milk when she was about 12 months ago. The doctor just said, try again later. Slowly she became more tolerant. When she was around 3 years old, she could have some - but when she had too much dairy she would start to break out in a rash. I'd say by the time she was 5 she had no problem at all.

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B.K.

answers from Boston on

S.,

My 3 year old was diagnosed with nut allergies last year. It can be very scary. We talked about the allergies with Andrew from the beginning, knowing he didn't (and still doesn't) fully understand. When we check something for nuts, we say outloud, "Andrew, let's see if this is safe for you." Now, he and my other two children will ask if something has peanuts. While I would never trust him at 3 to take control of this, I think it's good he asks so that if someone goes to give him food it might give them pause.

At birthday parties, Andrew is now excited that he gets special cupcakes. He has never given me any trouble about not getting the cake. It's never a relaxing time when we go out at events with food, but you're right, you have to balance safety with your mental and social well-being. It's hard, but you can't let food allergies to control your life - they already control your diet.

I also belong to a Food Allergy Support Group in the Seacoast of NH. I find it helpful to talk with more experienced moms and those with more complicated situations. FAAN is also a great resource for information.

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M.S.

answers from Athens on

Hello
I have 2 kids, a 3yr old and a 5 yr old. Both of my kids have multiple food allergies to milk, eggs, nuts, and soy... just to name a few. Play dates can be very challenging but I think that you will find that most moms are very understanding. It helps to have a time for snack so kids aren't walking around with food and drinks while they are playing.

I find that everywhere you go you will have to remind people that your child has allergies. I always ask that they don't give my kids food, but to ask me first.

Be firm and continue teaching your son what he can and cannot eat. By the time my kids were 3 they understood what they couldn't have and to ask if they weren't sure. It takes a lot of extra effort but it's worth it!

We move a lot and still are able to do a lot. I keep a watchful eye on them and we haven't had any major problems.

Hope this helps a little!

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R.V.

answers from Boston on

S. -

I am a mom of two boys, Ethan (7) and Eli (5). Eli is severly allergic to milk, peanuts and tree nuts. I have so many little bits of wisdom to share with you, that it's hard for me to choose just one or two. So, the best experience for you and ultimately your son is to find other moms of food allergic kids and learn from them. The Seacoast Food Allergy Group meets at Portsmouth Regional Hospital. The next meeting is 7pm on June 9th. There are other groups in the area, just ask FAAN. I see our job descriptions as 2-fold. As parents, we need to protect our children but we also need to prepare our children. The trick is to do this in equal balance. See every opportunity to teach your son about what he can eat and can't eat. Learn together. This will help him to have less anxieties as he grows and he "owns" his disability. This will become very helpful when he starts to venture to playdates and birthday parties without you there.

Good Luck to you and always know you are not alone.
R.

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S.K.

answers from Bangor on

Hi S., my sister has a 3 year old and she had to cut dairy out as well. We just told my niece that it hurts her belly and she gets it, every once in a while she will cry for mac and cheese. Also let every one know what your son is allergic to and trust that they will follow it. If they do not, maybe your son shouldnt stay with that person.

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J.D.

answers from Boston on

My daughter has the same allergy. My dad has even forgotten and given her milk! My daughter is almost 6 and I can say it does get easier. She knows to be careful or her belly will hurt. In the past, I would bring snacks for everyone... Like Oreo cookies that I found in the natural food section without milk protein. I know she will get a snack without wanting to eat something that might make her ill. I hope this helps! Good luck.

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R.F.

answers from Boston on

Hi S.!
First I had to chuckle at your comment about him being 21 months old and it being hard to control what he eats!! :) Wait til he's 14 like my son!! You'll think 21 months is a breeze!!!! :) Seriously though, more and more children (sadly) are suffering from food allergies so it isn't as isolating as it used to be. I always made sure that everyone knew about my son and if he was invited to a birthday party or something where food was involved I would make something that he could eat to take along. Most times I would make enough to share so the other kids could try it too. Also, did you happen to watch Celebrity Apprentice? Trace Adkins was representing a national children's food allergy foundation that has pre printed card and stickers that you can take along with you when you go out. He has a daughter with severe food allergies. I'm sure if you googled him or Celebrity Apprentice you could get more info on that program.

It does take vigilence and lots of energy but it's well worth it to have a happy toddler instead of a cranky one cuz he ate something that didn't agree with him. You're doing fine....really. Keep educating people about his needs and soon it will become second nature to everyone to ask before giving any child something to eat.

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L.K.

answers from Lewiston on

Hi S., Please ask to have your son tested again as this type of allergy is very often outgrown. Typically it is not the type of allergy that causes severe reactions if a small amount is ingested, so with the doctors permission, you may be able to let him have small amounts of yogurt, cheese, etc... and see how he does. L.

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J.C.

answers from Providence on

I have also been through this since my daughter was nine months old. I always tell the adult who is the room that she has a milk allergy and I give them her snack. At your sons age it is very hard to explain to them what they can have or not have. I just told my daughter she can only have the snack I brought. I also have her pick the snack she wants for that time. I also brought with me benadrly with me when I know she would be around it just in case she had contact. I know with play groups I have been involved in we actually decided to have the mom of the child who has the allergy pick the snack so it was safe for everyone and no one feels left out. I know this can be hard sometimes. But, it gives you piece of mind. The older your son gets the easier it will be. My daughter is 4 years old and she knows what she can have and what she can't have.

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M.M.

answers from Boston on

Hi S.!

My 6 year yold was diagnosed with various food allergies, including the milk protein (aka casein) allergy when he was 2 years old. And of all his food allergies (oatmeal, shellfish, and tree nuts, not to be confused with peanuts), I found this one to be the most challenging...It's not only avoiding dairy. You need to learn to read labels and look out for things with milk or othe milk product in it....some ingredients to look out for are whey, casein and sodium caseinate, which are for in alot of those"dairy-free" cheeses and some of those packaged rice mixes...and the coating in chicken nuggets, yes, has milk in it...oreos on the other hand are OK. So, yes, read, read labels; you'll be surprised...And, I don't know, but the info my son's allergist gave us indicated that casein (milk protein) is found naturally in all mammal milk: cow, goat, human-breast milk -- that's not an issue now...
THe good news is that after 2 years of all this he outgrew this allergy and he can eat all sorts of stuff...(we still kind of go easy on his intake of dairy)

Good luck
M. M
44year old of a beautiful 6 year old and married to a great guy for 12 years

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N.S.

answers from Hartford on

My daughter is two years old and has the milk allergy. WE have tried the vegen products at the Willimantic Food Coop and find the Tofuti Ice cream at Stop and Shop which she enjoys. She likes a popsicle over ice cream anyday and she loves her soy milk. She even has soy yogurt which we buy at the food coop. Since I have two older children without allergies we do our best to get my daughter the same kind of foods just her own "special" non dairy versions. It is pricey but worth it!

D.B.

answers from Boston on

Have you tried Reliv products? They are patented formulas developed by the scientist who developed Enfamil and ProSoBee infant formulas. Reliv is a 20 year old food science company with outstanding quality control and fantastic ratings by independent sources like Business Week, Forbes, Fortune, DeMarche and the Direct Selling Association. I've talked to so many people who have had fantastic results with allergies - for many of them, Reliv completely takes away the allergy AND gives vital nutrition to boot. For others, the allergies are drastically reduced. I can't say enough about it. There is a kids' formula especially designed for children under 12. Take the worry away! Let me know if you are interested and I will tell you how to find a distributor and other parents who will tell you how it worked for them!

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D.K.

answers from Boston on

dont stay in the house, go anywhere and everywhere! Youll have to be one your guard about the snacks. Make sure you tell everone you come in contact with about the allergy (even if youve told them b-4) I have 2 kids a 5 and 11 year old with nut allegies and (knock on wood) have never had an issue. I am vigilant and often repetitivebut most people do understand you are just looking out for your kids. Have you tried the asthma and allergies network. They have resources for families with allergies. Good luck it does get easier as they get older. :)

P.H.

answers from Boston on

As you now know you are not alone in this and I think you have felt alone. You should find a site that is for just parents with kids with allergies and get that support.

Here are some helpful sites (not support, look thru this group and other yahoo groups or so)


http://www.foodallergy.org/

http://www.jeeto.com/store/home.php

http://www.foodallergycookbook.com/links.htm#Clothing

There is great help put there, but you need to know your childs concerns come over worrying what others think..

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