Military Deployment - El Cajon,CA

Updated on February 12, 2008
K.K. asks from Ponte Vedra, FL
7 answers

Hi my name is K. and my husband is in the Navy. We are currently stationed in Point Loma. We got orders a month ago that we are going to Maport,Fl. The problem is that when we get down there, he's going on his first deployment. Which leaves me alone and trying to find somewhere to live and dealing with everythin gon my own. His ship is already deployed and will only be half way through by the time we get down there. We just found out last night about the deployment. Which gives me very little time to prepare for it since we are leaving March 13th. If there is anyone out there that's been through this please let me know. A few suggestions to help get through this first one would be very helpful.

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So What Happened?

Thank to you those of you that responded. I'm going to go with him to Florida and look for a place to live. They are giving him 26 days of leave so that will be helpful. Hopefully I can cope with the stress of the deployment on my own or at least find a group of wives that have husbands on the same ship to help.

More Answers

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J.W.

answers from San Francisco on

Hi K.,
Have you considered waiting to move until after he's deployed? His housing allowance does not move with him, it can stay with you. You'd just have to find somewhere for him to live in FL before he deploys.
Especially considering your school aged children, waiting a couple months to let them finish their school yet might be the best thing, unless they live somewhere else completely.
If you got your orders a month ago, maybe you started the process of moving already, and you've given notice already.
We used to live in the Murphy Canyon housing down there in San Diego. I don't know if you are renting or not, but maybe it's not too late to stay. People can be flexible, especially if you explain your situation.
It seems a shame to rush out to FL just to have your husband leave right away.
It's really awful they just spring these deployments on people. Good luck.

1 mom found this helpful
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L.C.

answers from San Diego on

Hello K.,
have you thought about staying here in military housing while he is gone?? that way you can do research while he is gone and you can be ready when his deployment is up and meet him there...

L.

1 mom found this helpful
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M.V.

answers from Los Angeles on

I am 23 with two children and one more on the way and my husband deployed a year ago to Iraq. I moved twice while he was gone and once after he got back. In the Marine Corps there are other wives who volunteer to help other wives whos husbands are deploying for the first time. They're called the Key volunteers. If the Navy does anything like this, you should have someone who will be calling you shortly. Otherwise, I would suggest calling some of the other wives yourself and seeing if they can be a good support system for you. You can do this!! All you need are a few good friends and the internet. Find somewhere not too expensive to live for the time he's gone and maybe even some place smaller than you're used to just to save money, and when he gets back you could make another move. Finding somewhere on the internet like on rent.com before you leave could be helpful. When my husband was gone, I actually moved in with my brother and his family because his wife and I were already good friends and they had a two year old for my two year old son to play with. Gather as much information about where you are going and what to expect first, and then go from there. You have untill march 16th to make it happen and that's plenty of time!!

1 mom found this helpful
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T.B.

answers from Bakersfield on

Hi K.,
Militaryonesource.com I cannot tell you how much it helped us in deciding which neighborhoods to look into and which ones to steer clear of when we were moving to a new duty station. Also when my husband was deployed the first time I moved back home, because with two children and being alone in a new place wasn't working for me. His second deployment I had a job so I couldn't up and go but thankfully my little sister came out for the summer not only to help with the kids but so that I had someone there that I felt comfortable talking to.

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R.P.

answers from San Diego on

Careful with the housing allowance; it's based on where he's stationed, not where you're living. The allowance to live in Mayport will not cover the housing in San Diego. However, the Housing Offices do have good resources to help you search out places to live. The internet is also very useful. He should also be able to take house-hunting leave. I don't think that's exactly what it's called, but the military has to give you time to locate housing, if I remember correctly. Moving in is a whole other thing. ;)

But, ask the Housing Office bunches of questions. It's what they're there for.

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G.L.

answers from San Diego on

Hi Katina my name is G. and I know just how you feel. I went threw the same thing about 5yrs ago with my husband for Deployment. About 6 yrs ago my husband joing the Navy we got married here in California and then he had to go back to A shcool in Florida. He got order to go to Virginia and I had to find an apartment out there I had to do everything When I drove there we found out that his ship was going on there first deployment in a one month i was verry sad and depressed I was in a new place with no family and no friends It was very hard he was gone for about 9montsh this was when the war with Iraq started i was in Virginia for about 2months on my owne and then i wanted to come back to California to stay with my parents while he was gone. Your going to have your kids to keep you busy and entertained don't worry your'll be ok just take it one day at a time keep yourself busy and time will go by fast at least it wont be for 9months. I wish you the best and if you want to keep in touch just let me know. Good Luck

G.

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M.W.

answers from Los Angeles on

Hi K.,

You definitely have your hands full. I was married to a soldier and the stress on the family can be unbearable at times. As far as your situation goes, I would suggest that you stay where you are at until your husband gets back or for a period of time until you can make connections with the family support and find a place to live. I don't know where Point Loma is, I live in Southern California, but that is way too much for you to have to do on your own especially with all your children. Do you have friends or family to live with while your husband is deployed? Sometimes the moral support is a welcome relief.

Best of luck!

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