MIL Passed Away. Should I Let the Kids See Her?!

I think they are too young to see her. Just explain to them what happened, and maybe get some sort of book for small children on how to explain death, etc. It could be too traumatic for them to see her, and they may have nightmares over it.

i'm 44 and have never seen an open coffin..i don't think its necessary for the kids to see that..let them remember her alive..i'm going to say in my opinion...no..no need for children to see someone that has passed away..but that's just me..i'm glad i never saw my grandmother's body lifeless..i'll always remember her as holding my hand and spoiling me in her little town in Denmark..even going to her grave is a painful memory for me.

My deepest condolences. I wish you and your family all the best at this time.

I agree with the posts that say to ask your 5 year old. She may or may not want to see grandma one last time. My best friend died when I was almost 7 and I'm glad that I had that closure (to see her) at that young age. My mom had prepared me and let me know that my friend wasn't really in her body anymore. It was just a body. She said it is like someone taking off a glove. The glove has no life, but still looks like a glove.

I'll keep you in my prayers.

I think each child is different with what they can handle. I am one who is very straight forward with my kids and expose them to real life. And, in most cases they can handle it. My children have seen their great-grandfather's body and I explained the glove analogy to them (the hand is like the spirit and when it's in the glove the glove has life, but when the hand/spirit leaves the glove/body it no longer has life). In other words, grandpa still lives in our hearts and his spirit is still with us, but it no longer lives in the body. This helped my kids understand as their little minds could. Seeing a deceased body was not an issue for them.

Hi, S.,

Please accept my condolences.

I would be inclined to let my kids decide whether or not they wanted to see their now-deceased grandmother, if they could. I doubt that the two-year-old will be able to decide for herself, though.

Different cultures have different views on seeing reality. Most Americans seem to be firmly established on the end that wants to "sanitize" what kids witness. I'm not sure that that is always a good thing. I think that, to a degree, it is healthy for kids and the world in general, to realize that sad things happen. That way they might value life more. As an atheist, not convinced that there is an after-life but believing that bad/sad things do happen to good people, animals, etc., I feel as though I strive harder to maximize the quality and length of life of everyone.

Good luck in your decision.

Lynne E

My first reaction when reading how she would be presented was not good. I would not.

Hi S.-

I am so sorry for your loss. I am extremely close to my MIL so I feel very sad for you. I personally would not let me kids at that age see her. The last time I went to a viewing I was upset because that person, ny neice, did not look like herself, and she smelled like fermaldahide. To this day, I can still smell that smell when I think of her. So not the way I want to remember her!

Once again, I am really sorry.
S. B.

S.,
I am so incredibly sorry about your loss.
Regarding your girls, of course your 2 yr old will not remember any of it and it may or may not be a memory for even the 5 yr old. My call would be to have a wonderful heartfelt conversation with the girls where your bring out photos of your MIL and tell stories about her that made you all happy. Explain about her death in whichever way your religion or heart says too and let them guide the conversation with their questions.
I think it would be just aweful if the final memory your 5 yr old had of her grandmother was of her made-up plastic looking face in a very cold and saddened environment. If you do your best to remember wonderful moments and tell stories about her with the girls at the same time you explain her death, then the memory becomes a warm loving thing and also helps them to not be so afraid of death- since, in the long run, it IS a part of life and we are all going in that direction. The goal here is to remember your time on earth is limited and we should make the best of it and realize how it affects the people around us - how her life affected yours etc.
After her ashes are spread or buried, then you can take the girls to see her final resting place and have yet another wonderful conversation about how great their grandmother was.
Good luck to you and I hope those warm conversations with your girls bring you some peace as well.

I haven't read the other responses, but really felt compelled to respond to you. My mother passed away in the hospital when I was 17 and it was many years before I could get the pictures of her lifeless body out of my head, and start remembering what she looked like healthy. You don't want that to be the last image your children see of her, especially at such a young age. They are too young to make that decision for themselves. If you ask them if they want to see their grandma, of course, they are going to say "yes"! That doesn't mean that they should see her that way.

I am very sorry for your loss.

I would definitely explain the loss to your kids, as truthfully as you can.

However, I would not take them to the viewing, especially your older child. The 2 year old will neither understand nor remember, but the 5 year old will be scarred and will inevitably remember the image of her lifeless grandma, forever. From personal experience, I always remember the image of the open caskets I've seen. No matter how well the makeup is done, they never look like they did when they were alive, and it's traumatizing, even for for adults. In my opinion, for adults there's the benefit of closure, but there's no benefit to children.

Sorry for your loss, S.. Your children may not even remember seeing her, but they may remember how the people around them react. If you think there will be any sort of scene they may be traumatized or upset.
If their Dad isn't going maybe he can stay with them and look at photo albums or videos of her with them and have a happy memory. You can pay your respects and not have to chase after a 2 year old or worry about the 5 year old asking questions. That may be better for everyone.
When the questions come up, you will have less emotion, and time to tell them all the wonderful things about their grandma, and eventually they will come to understand what has happened. Death is part of life, but it's doubtful that they will have "closure" by attending the service. good luck, Deb
your husband may need more help getting through this than you are expecting. Take the time there, more than your girls.

Dear S., Many of my family members have been cremated and they always have been dressed , make-up, hair done, and in a casket. Do you realy want to see your Mil draped in a just a sheet? And please DO NOT take your daughters they are not ready for this life lesson. My Daughter was 2 1/2 years when my mom passed away. I set her on the bed and had a talk with her about Grandma and how she went to heaven to be with Grandpa and the angels. Please don't make your very young daughters last memory seeing thier grandmother that way. J. H.

t

S.,

First of all, my condolences to you and your family, your MIL was truely to young.

My personal opinion is that you should NOT take your children to see her body. It may VERY likely freak them out. The memories that they have and will always have will be of her alive. If you take them then you risk their final memory of her to be what you descibed, a lifeless body, with a made-up face and a sheet covering her (in a room full of a bunch of quite possibly VERY emotional grown-ups).
Be blessed & stay strong!

K.

Hello, I am so sorry that you have all had this happen. If you believe that we all go to Heaven, as I do, then I would tell them that Grandma went to Heaven. If you then show them her body, they may not grasp it. I remember going to a cousin's funeral when I was 5 and not understanding why we had to be so quiet. I really didn't get it. Apparently, it is hard enough for your husband, so it might also be for your children.
K. K.

I am so sorry for your loss. If it was me, I would not let your young children see your MIL and instead allow them to have memories of her alive and well and that is the picture they should carry with them for the rest of their lives, not one of her lying dead on a table. Hopefully, you have some pictures of your MIL that your children can look at when they are missing her.

Again, I am sorry for your terrible and unexpected loss.

Ask yourself this; what do you want your child's last memory of grandma to be? Playing and hugging or cold and unresponsive? I was 7 when my grandma died and went to her viewing. I still have that picture in my mind in a casket. As a child I feared her sitting up to get me, the whole ghost thing. Happy memories are always the best.

I'm so sorry for your loss. When I was 5, my grandfather died and I went to the viewing. Although I didn't fully comprehend it, it was a positive experience because it was the beginning of understanding death. I would consider bringing them and also be prepared for questions. Age 5 is a time that kids start questioning life and death. Reassure them that you do everything possible to live a healthy lifestyle (eating good foods, wearing seatbelts, etc.) so that you'll all be around a long time.

Hi S.. My condolenseces to you and your husband. I'm so sorry to hear about you MIL.
In regards to your question, it's just my opinion, if it were me, I wouldn't take my kids at those ages. Just because I think you right about scaring them. It's just too young to understand and I think the white sheet thing would scare me too. It might not be a true look into what a regular funeral might be which might be easier for a child to deal with, you know because they just look like there sleeping. I would have them remember her as she was when she would play and laugh with them. Maybe by seeing her in the way on the table with a sheet, it may ruin that image of her and just make it sad and scaring when thinking of her instead of having really fond memories. Good luck S.. I'm sure you'll do what you feel is right for your babies.

I am sorry for your loss. Listen to your heart. The open viewing with others there expressing their grief will probably be too much. Perhaps you, your husband and your children can go prior to that to have quiet goodbyes with Grandma. The children typically feel soothed by seeing Grandma look peaceful. Then you have time to answer any concerns or questions they have.
You could also collect pictures of her, set them up and do the same thing with them and have them draw pictures or write a letter to say what they want to say to Grandma, so that their memories remain of how she was - happy & healthy. Either way, just honor their loss too.

Blessings to you and yours.

I would not take the kids. they are very young and could be traumatized. Well, not truly traumatized, but still a little freaked out. I would take them to other family events surrounding the funeral, etc.; they should be a part of that. But not the viewing, I think.

I'm so sorry to hear about your sudden loss.

I can't say what is right for your kids, but I'll share my experience. My mother is the youngest of 8 kids (by a lot), so I experience the death of 3 grandparents, a great grandmother and an uncle while I was very young. We lived in PA and funerals with viewings were common and I went to all of them. I was a little older than your oldest, but I HATED seeing the body and still remember the experiences vividly. I particularly hated seeing the bodies in the coffin and then watching it be covered with dirt at the cemetary. So... I wish that my participation as a young child would have been limited to a memorial service with nothing to do with the body.

S., First I'd like to say sorry for your loss. I understnd what you are going through. My MIL passed away in 2004 when my girls were 5 and 2. She was also taken from us suddenly too. My husband was with her when she past so he was able to say his goodbyes and I had seen her that day. My MIL was also cremated but we didn't have a viewing. The family was able to see her before that but we kept our girls home and my BIL didn't take his kids either. We wanted our kids to remember their grandma the way she was when alive and didn't want them to see her the way she was for fear that would scare them. Good luck with your decision, I know it is a hard one.

Hello S.,

Well it may seem strange, but you might want to ask them. My daughter was 6 when my father in law passed. Many people saw him, but I did not allow her to, thinking I made the best choice for her. It came out three years later that she had felt left out, and had trouble grieving because of it. I don't know what your child would do, but you may want to ask them. That is my opinion because of what my daughter had literally told me. Only after our loving, wonderful, family dog passed away... she spent at least 5 or 10 minutes with him, petting him, and saying her good-byes. It was only them that she told me about her experience with her Grandpa. I had to tell her that I made what I thought was the best decision at the time, and that Mommies sometimes make mistakes too. We all have to live and learn, and make the best possible choices for our children.

Good luck S. & I am sorry for your loss.

M.

I'm so sorry for your loss. It sounds like a shock for the whole family, and death is particularly hard to explain to young children.

I see you've had many responses, but I just wanted to add one more. I have a friend whose FIL passed away 6 or so months ago, and she took her 6 and 3 year old boys to the viewing. She regrets it so much. Both children had nightmares afterward, and the older one started acting really angry, hitting and being generally unpleasant. She wishes she had kept them home. Months later they still have issues sleeping and the older boy won't talk about the grandfather at all, not even happy memories.

I hope you find a solution that works best for your family.
Take care,
B.

Sorry for your family's lost.

My mom lost her 5yr battle with cancer this past November. My children have only known her sick and understood this as much as they could comprehend. Even though she was sick my husband and I never talked about how we would handle things when the time came. The kids and I went to visit her and I realized she was doing much worse. The nurse informed us it was just a matter of days. I was shocked and not sure what to do. My 4yr old sensed something was really wrong. She asked if grandma would ever wake up again. I knew then I couldn't hide the truth from them. I sat my 4yr and 2yr old down to explain what was going on. They both cried and said they didn't want grandma to leave. I explained her body wouldn't be around but her spirit will always be with them. They both decided they wanted to stay with her as much as possible. They would climb in bed with her and talk to her. We weren't there when she passed away. I received a call to come over right away and I knew why. As soon as we walked in my 4yr old was worried because the machines weren't on. I told her they weren't needed and she knew grandma was gone. She asked if she could see her and I told her of course. My 2yr old said he didn't want to see her and I told him that was ok. For the memorial service my 4yr old wanted to see her again. At the end of the service my 2yr old asked if he could see her and we told him he didn't have to but he insisted. He was a little taken aback but his big sister explained she was ok and watching over them.

I bought several children's books to help them understand death and that it is not the end. None of the books are religious and very simple. They have adjusted well over the months and aren't traumatized by the situation.

I would ask them what they want to do. Each may have a different response and just respect their decision. It might help them to have some closure.

So it seems everyone says no but I believe it should be up to your children. You know their personalities better then anyone. My daughter who was 12 when grandpa died had no interest in seeing him we didn't make her my son who was 9 wanted & needed to go. Then a few years later both my grandparents passed and we had a double funeral open casket all three of my kids went but again my daughter chose not to look my sons 3 & 12 at the time wanted to. My youngest still talks about it sometimes in a very positive memory about them sleeping. I would talk to your 5 year old tell her what to expect give her the option and even if she goes and changes her mind just support her. Your kids will take their cues from you & your husband. So sorry for your loss. Good luck

Hi S.,
I am so sorry for your loss- my thoughts are with you and your family. I recently went through a similar situation in April- my Nana passed away (my sons great grandmother). We too had a small viewing here in California before we flew her home (out of state) for her burial. My sister and I struggled with the decision to let our boys in to her see her one last time. My son is 3 (he'll be 4 next month) and my nephew was 8 at the time. We both decided that because she didn't look how Nana always looked to us (even I had a very hard time at the viewing) that it would be best if our son's did not see her that way- we didn't want their last memory to be of Nana laying in the coffin, not looking like herself. Sadly they didn't get to say goodbye to her while she was in the hospital either as she was in ICU for the 7 weeks prior to her passing. We do have pictures around the house of her, that we encourage our boys to talk to, they both went to the funeral they just didn't go in while the casket was open. My son and I now talk to her at night before we go to bed, we have picked a star, and that is her nightlight in heaven, and we talk to her and in the morning my son will go outside and say goodmorning to her. He knows that she turns her nightlight off when the sun comes up, but he at least has happy memories of her. He will never have the image of Nana being sick in his head and for kids, even ones the age of my nephew I personally think that is best. I wouldn't want them to remember their grandmother in that way, I would encourage looking at pictures and talking about fun times and let your children remember her that way. I hope this helps, even just a little.
Take care,
H.

I would say no. Being a young child and being forced by the parents to go to funeral home or view bodies of loved ones is very traumatic. Think of your children. Being around others in the family who suffered a loss is enough to process without having to see the actual body.

Have them remember her in another way. Telling stories about her to them, etc., is more appropriate.

sorry about ur loss. i just went thru this in july. depends on culture. my kids went to all services. i myself dont like viewing bodies so i stayed seated with my children, my husband would ask if they wanted to go up there with him. they did. its important to tell little ones that the dead are sleeping and not in pain, tell them the heaven thing. as grown ups they go to all family funerals, they kno the importance of support.

is there anyway possible to put a nice blanket with pillow for MIL? instead of the sheet.

Sorry for your lose. Please keep your children at home. Don't let their last memory of their grandma be a sad and scary one. I was young when my grandma died and I can still picture her is her casket. I wish that my parents had never taken me, because now when I think of my grandma that is the first thing that pops in my mind.

Tina

I would explain that grandmas' spirit went to heaven and that we are going to say goodbye to her. I would allow your children to see her and say goodbye. It will help with closure and they will be able to handle loss better when it happens later in life.

Just my opinion, I would not take the girls to see her. Once they put the makeup on her she will not look like your MIL. I remember I was 8 when my grandmother died, my aunt insisted on open casket and my parents let me stay home because they wanted me to remember her as she was not laying in a casket all made up. I did see pictures thanks to that same aunt and it made me sick to my stomach. It's taken me a long long time to put that final image of her out of my mind and remember her how she was in life not in death.

my grandmother (who also raised me) passed away a month ago today. When she was in hospice I took my 1 year old with me to play in the room while i was visiting. The only time I ever saw my granny move was when he would squeal or giggle...but that's a different issue. The body is done up nicely so it won't be something gruesome like when the person first dies. However, there will be questions. I don't think I would take them. I remember seeing my mother when she died 26 years ago and seeing her dead body lying in the casket and although it's not the ONLY picture I see of her, it's one that I didn't wish I still saw... same with my granny. I'm 31 and struggle with it myself... I can't imagine what would happen with the children.

Hi S.,
I don't know, this is a tough one. Personally, I hardly think that they will remember as they get older.(especially the 2 year old) But, do you really think it is necessary for them to see the body? I think telling them that grandma is in heaven should be enough. Your 5 year old might be very upset at seeing her just laying there.
I would just let it go, and use your words to explain.
They have no concept of "saying your goodbyes"
Give them a picture and let them say goodbye that way. Maybe make a collage of some pictures and let them decorate it.
I'm so sorry for your loss, I know what it it is like to loose a family member at an early age. My FIL died 2 1/2 years ago at the age of 62. He was supposed to be healthy as a horse (worked out 5 days a week)Died of a massive heart attack. It was so crazy!! My husband took it VERY hard...they were best friends.
Anyway again, I am so sorry for your loss. Go with your gut and do what you think is right.
Take care!
M.

Hi S.,
Firstly, my condolences to you and your family.How very sad and I'm sure you are all still reeling in shock.
Personally, I wouldn't have my children view her body.
If they were 16 and 18 and had more experience with death I would let them decide for themselves but yours are still so little and death is such a new/strange concept for them to grasp I don't see how it helps them.
I would want them to have a happy, smiling memories of her and seeing her like this could be a little scary.
just my opinion, either way you will make the right choice.
My best wishes to you as you go through this difficult time.

S.,

I'm so sorry for your loss.

As for allowing your very young kids to view her, I say no. I say no from experience. For me, it is closure to go to the viewing (I've been to my fair share) however, I still regret it because that is how I picture those I've lost, I cannot get another picture of them in my mind and the way they looked in the viewing really isn't how I wish to remember them. Then at 2 or even more 5 years old (your 2 yo really won't get it and may even forget) but your 5yo, may have nightmares and what not. A beautiful photo of the kids with Grandma would be so much better. This is just my opinion. I have an almost 7 year old daughter who is really in to life/death, I mean the human body just amazes her and she loves to watch ANY kind of medical show. However, I don't think I'd even have her view her Grandma or any loved one. It's your choice, you know your kids best, my gut just says no. My experiences with viewings started as young as 7th grade and again, that was traumatic even though, at the time, you couldn't have kept me from going.

Again, I'm sorry to you and your family.
M.

I'm very sorry for your loss. I have a 4 year old and if it were me, I would not take her. To the services yes, but not to the viewing. I think that would be very scary for your children. My grandmother died when I was in high school and I remember that my uncles insisted on an open casket at the services. Although I didn't want to go up and see her, at the end of the services I was helping my mom and dad pick up the pamphlets, etc. On accident, I got a view of her and I still remember it to this day. She didn't look like my grandmother anymore, she looked totally different. To this day, I still wish I hadn't seen her like that. Anyway, that is just my two cents and I wish you much peace during this really difficult time.

So sorry for your loss
I would not let your kids see her. You dont want that to be the memory that they have of her. In addition, children of that age (esp the younger one) don't have a realistic concept of death. Perhaps you could talk to them about what has happened in age appropriate terms.
Good luck

I am really sorry to hear about your loss. I know it can't be easy especially considering how fast and unexpected it was. As far as your kids are concerned, I don't know which way you should go. I can see the pros and cons of both sides. The only thing that I can suggest is to call your local hospice and speak to a bereavement counselor. I think it is super important to speak to someone who understands the psychological ramifications of young children witnessing grandma after she has passed. Perhaps someone that helps people deal with grief and loss can help you make that decision. If you ask other moms, you are probably going to get a mix of opinions or personal experiences. I think it is best to make your decision based on a professional who has seen this situation many times. The hospices are filled with kind-hearted people and they are usually willing to help anyone that needs grief counselling, including those that didn't even use their facility before passing. I wish you the best in your decision making process and I hope that you and your family find peace with your loss.

Please don't take them to the viewing.

My grandfather died when I was four. Two days before his viewing my mom and cousin snuck me into his room at the hospital and put me on his bed. He loved, cuddled, and played with me for a long time. The next morning he had another heart attack and died. When we went to the viewing , there was my much loved grandpa all cold, stiff, smelling funny. People wanted me to kiss him goodbye. I was terrified, revolted, it was an agony. Please don't do that to them. Let them remember their grandma as she was. If you think they need to see, take a picture of her and show them when they are older.

I am sorry to hear of your family's loss- [hugs]

First off, I am so sorry for your loss. this is a tough situation..When my grandmother passed away my daughter was about 5 (she's 15 now) and my husband and I did not want her to go to the funeral much less the viewing. Your 2 yr old may not remember but the 5 yr old will have lots of questions, it also depends on her maturity level. Some kids are ok with it but situations like this may cause some emotional scaring for some kids... Death is a normal thing but I'm not sure if I wanted my kids to go thorugh it at 5 :( decision is yours Hon, whatever you do I"m sure it'll be in your family's best interest.. Good luck, my prayers are wtih yo and your family.

I am so sorry to hear of your loss and my prayers are with your family at this hard time. My mom died when my boys were 3, very unexpected as well. We took them to the viewing and the funeral. They were very interested and asked a lot of questions and I think it really brought them closure. Grandma didn't just disappear somewhere. "She is sleeping in her bed(thats what they called her coffin) and all her goodness (spirit) went up to heaven." It has been two years now and they still pretend to fly a plane up to heaven to visit Grandma and pretend to call her on the phone. But I think you need to so your kids that people don't just disappear. They move on.
Good luck to you and I hope my experience will help.
S.

I think it would be a little traumatic for your girls at this age. She is not being buried, so it's a little different than being in a coffin. I'm not sure how to make the closure for them more effective. It's a hard decision. I was 8 when my grandfather passed away. My parents wouldn't even walk by the open casket, but I wanted to. I demanded to. I saw him, I will never forget it. I just wanted to say goodbye. I remember running to my mother crying, but I know I wasn't scared. Your girls are a little young yet, so really think deeply about the impact it will have on them. Your instinct is usually the right way to go.

Sorry for your and your husband's loss.

~~D.

First, I am so sorry for the grief your whole family is experiencing. I have to join the chorus suggesting you don't allow the children to see her for all of the reasons already expressed. I also have a suggestion as an alternative to provide some "closure" for them. A friend of mine recently lost her mother-in-law as well. Her 5 year old son was incredibly close to his Gammy and it was very difficult for everyone. His preschool teacher had him make a book that he could keep forever. It was so precious. He answered a series of questions about her (her favorite color, his favorite thing to do with her, etc.). They included pictures of her with their family. He wrote a story about his favorite memory with her. And finally, he drew a picture of her. He was so proud of his book and it gave him something positive about his grandmother to focus on during a very sad time. You may want to talk to a pediatrician, child psychologist or even look on the internet for ideas like this for your 5 year old and maybe something that your 2 year old could do. I have toddlers in my daycare and we do a lot of collages. I'd be happy to share some ideas like this with you if you want to message me. I am so sorry for your loss and I wish you and your family the best.

S.,
I think its ok for your children to see their grandmother. Are there other grandchildren in the family? Cousins? Kids help each other through experiences like this. Otherwise, they will never have closure and death is an experience. In your case, the part of her not being dressed or appearing only under a sheet might need to be reviewed. That part could scare them. Every family is different though, so I will say a prayer for yours - extended family also. I have allowed all my children even at an early age like yours (my kids are now 27, 25, 20 and 15) to view their grandparents, grand uncles & aunts, etc. Discussions about how and why they left this earth always ensued and death is not a mystery to them. I lost my mother at age 4, and I was not allowed to say goodbye. I know for a long time I wondered where she was? and she had been in/out of hospitals alot the last year. She is still to this day in my heart and around me all the time. I feel her presence and I think its because we didn't say "goodbye" to each other. Your husband is still processing his mother's death. Believe me, everyone grieves differently. My husband (married 28 years now) has been with me when my family members have passed and he is always unsure of how to react. But he still misses the fact he was not allowed to have closure with his paternal grandparents at their passings, since he was away at college and out to sea since they passed within one year of each other, (over 25 years ago). Also his family had no services like mine traditionally has, i.e. viewing, rosary/Mass, catholic burial etc. I will keep your family in my prayers.

Lori

I am so sorry for you and your husband - the sudden death of a parent is very very difficult. It sounds as though she lived physically close to your family, so the loss will be a huge one for the kids.

My Father died about a year ago, unexpectedly. Our daughter was 4 and very close to him. My neice (who was 4 when her other Grandfather died, and had been in the room), said in retrospect that seeing him dead did not help her understanding of death, or give her any more closure. So I wondereda bout my request to have her brought to hospital. Additionally, my Father changed so much physically in the 15 minutes after he died (we were with him in the hospital) that I called my husband and asked him NOT to bring her to say goodbye. Her last memory of him is playing peekaboo and blowing kisses to him through the window of his intensive care room. . . . ..

Be as honest as you can about death, though. Please explain about how bodies wear out, and that we all die. Depending upon your family's views on religion, you can also explain how her spirit lives in our hearts and memories. Explain that it is okay to cry and to miss someone very, very much and to feel sad when you think about them. and so on and so forth. Children sense the sadness and need to know at least on a basic level what is going on.

strength and grace to you and your family -