Midwest Vs. South in Discipline..........

My son is only 8 months old... so I dont deal with this yet!! But... my friend has a few children who are now in school and one thing that she does is a rewards system. You have two brown paper bags. One is labeled "treats" and the other is labeled "discipline" (or whatever you want.) Put things that your child would like to do in the "treats" bag. ex: get ice cream, soda.. .whatever.. In the "discipline" bag put things you know your child doesnt like... like wearing same clothes, anything she doesnt like... If the child is good and behaves, they get to get to pull a slip of paper out of the "treats" bag and gets it... then if she is bad, same with the discipline.
It might work.... I know it works for my friends kids... just an idea i wanted to throw at you!! Good Luck

HI there,

I realize that not everyone agrees with spanking a child, however, they dont know you, and they dont know the level of the spanking. It is not as though your daughter is an infant. I see nothing wrong with a swat on the behind on occasion, as long as you are calm when u do it, and arent attacking while in a rage (it doesnt sound to be the case here). You washed the clothes and she bathed, so as for the clothes part, would they consider it wrong or abusive, if you were unable to afford toher clothes and its all she had..probably not, so i feel they are just taking this way out of context or something.

I dont know if its the class of people in ATL that is the problem, or if you just happen to move near people who have different opinions, but I for one would not worry about it. It is your child and you know how to handle her. I would just suggest that when it comes to discipline issues, you dont post to that area. Had they called protective services on you, i highly doubt anything would have been done, as I personally have seen CPS go to cases much worse and do nothing about it.

Keep your chin up and feel free to contact me anytime even if you just need to vent.

B.

Seriously...who cares if others think you are a good parent! If you think you are doing the right thing, and you are not abusing your daughter, then do what you have to do. Everyone has their opinions on spanking...you have to make your choices and choose your battles.

My daughter is only 2, so I have not dealt with the whole school thing yet. Have you tried a reward system? I have a friend who takes her son to "school"/ day care and they have a poster in the kitchen. He gets to put a sticker on the poster every day that he is good at school (no problems with behavior or potty training). When he gets 10 or 15? stickers he gets a reward. For him, Bob the Builder is the best, so he gets to buy a BTB DVD. Just a thought. You might find a more relaxed form of rewards instead of punishment is effective.

I have swatted my daughter for putting herself in danger, but I try to reserve that for serious situations. Try letting your daughter know that good behavior outweighs the bad. If she gets more attention from you (good or bad), she will seek that out. Make being good the best thing ever. I am also a high school teacher, and this works for them too!! They really don't change that much. Outline what it means to be good with her. Agree on the behaviors that you expect, and hold her to them. Maybe take away some privileges if she gets a bad report, something that is important to her. It could be tv, a certain toy, computer time...whatever you can think of that would make her realize that good behavior is what is expected. If she acts out less, then it is working. If it doesn't work, then try something else. One thing to consider is that spanking her didn't really work. AND remember that she is a kid...a really little kid...she is going to make mistakes. Talk to her about what she did wrong. Remind her often of what you expect. She does understand you, and she can do it...give her some time, and tell her you love her!! :)
GOOD LUCK!!